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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24466414">all i wanna do (is come running home to you)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/inspiringmadness/pseuds/inspiringmadness'>inspiringmadness</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Ocean's 8 (2018)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Kid Fic, Married Life, Minor Original Character(s), Mother-Daughter Relationship, Original Character(s), Parenthood, Plot Twists, Team as Family</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 01:33:21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>90,865</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24466414</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/inspiringmadness/pseuds/inspiringmadness</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>15 years ago, Debbie Ocean made a mistake that she regretted every day that followed. Set a couple months after the heist, Debbie and Lou are married and have practically adopted the team to be their family. They're happy. Then one day, on the 15th anniversary of Debbie's worst mistake, someone comes knocking, claiming to be the person Debbie had given up all those years ago.</p><p>*currently being rewritten*</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Debbie Ocean &amp; Original Character, Lou Miller &amp; Original Character, Lou Miller/Debbie Ocean</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>148</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>162</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Disclaimer - I don't own any of the Ocean's 8 characters (if I did, this wouldn't be here)<br/>Title from "Running Home to You" from the Flash<br/>unbeta'd<br/>constructive criticism welcomed and appreciated</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Staring into her nearly empty glass, as if demanding the answer to all her problems from the amber liquid, Debbie sat on the edge of her bed, trying to forget the horrible feelings of loss and guilt that overwhelmed her. Having lived with those feelings for over 15 years, she was no stranger to them. Time had made it easier, the feelings that had once loomed over her and threatened to destroy her had faded into a familiar shadow, a whisper of what she had once felt.</p><p>Every day, it became a little bit easier to accept the lies she told herself. <em>I did what was right. I protected her, I saved her. I would’ve hurt her, I didn’t know what I was doing. She’s better off as far away as she can be.</em> But one day, every year, it was all too much. The pain that she kept hidden away, reared its ugly head and she crumbled. With a roar, Debbie hurled her glass against the nearest wall and sank to the ground with her head in her hands. The anger at herself and her own weakness seeped away, leaving Debbie curled up on the floor, having allowed her grief to take over.</p><p>Only moments later, Debbie heard a quiet knock at the door, before Lou let herself in and wrapped herself around her wife, being mindful of the broken glass. Lou had been on her way up to tell Debbie that everything was set up for their weekly game night when she heard her wife’s heart-rending sobs through the door.</p><p>“Hey, hey, shhh. It’s okay. I’m here, love. I’ve got you, just let it all out,” Lou soothed while rocking her usually composed wife, who was clutching onto her as if she thought Lou would slip through her fingers.</p><p>“I-I’m sorry,” Debbie gasped out between sobs, “I didn’t mean to fall apart like this.”</p><p>Lou pulled back for a moment to place a kiss on her wife’s forehead, “never apologize for feeling, Debbie. I know neither of us are great at, well, expressing our feelings, but having these emotions doesn’t make you weaker, it makes you stronger. And you, Deborah Ocean-Miller, are the strongest person I know.”</p><p>With that, Debbie let out a strangled sob that could almost be mistaken for a laugh and nestled closer to her wife. They stayed like that for a few more minutes as Debbie’s sobs died down, content to sit on the floor and be near each other, before Debbie turned to her wife and placed a tender kiss on her lips.</p><p>“How’d you know I was here? And that I was, well, having a breakdown?”</p><p>“Oh, well you weren’t downstairs with the rest of us, so with my expert skills of deduction, I figured out that you must be upstairs,” Lou replied, even adding on a mock gasp at the end to see even just a hint of a smile grace her beautiful wife’s face or, more realistically, an eye roll directed at her. “Anyway, I came up here to tell you that everything is set up for game night and heard you crying,” her voice took on a more concerned tone, “Debbie, what’s wrong? I’ve known for over 20 years, and I’ve never seen you break down like that. I know today of all days is hard for you, but you’ve never reacted like this.”</p><p>“Really? I react like this every single fucking year!” Debbie snapped. She sighed, ran a hand through her hair in frustration, and continued in a calmer tone, “I’m sorry for snapping. I don’t blame you for not knowing, I didn’t want you to. I’m ashamed of how I react, I mean, it was my decision, do I even have a right to grieve what could’ve been?”</p><p>“Of course you do! You have every right to grieve and feel a little lost. I guess I’m just a bit disappointed that you’ve never come to me,” Lou’s voice broke and she looked down at her lap. Debbie took Lou’s hands in her own and held them tight.</p><p>“Lou,” she sighed, “it’s not that I don’t think I can come to you. It’s just that I’ve always dealt with this alone. Every year I try and get as far away from people as I can and then drink until all the pain and anger and regret just go away.”</p><p>Hearing this, Lou smiled down at their entwined fingers, “I get it, I really do. Being alone has always felt safest, there’s no one to hurt and no one to be hurt by. But love, you’re not alone anymore. You have me and all the crazy people downstairs that we seem to have adopted. We’re a family and I love you.” She lifted their hands and showed them to Debbie, “see, love, together forever. You’re stuck with me.”</p><p>Debbie laughed and pressed a kiss to their hands, “and there’s no one I’d rather be stuck with.”</p><p>They rose from the floor together and surveyed the damage done by Debbie’s fit of rage. The whiskey had caused an unappealing brown mark on the wall, and some of the glass shards had ricocheted back to Debbie, littering the hand she had used to hurl the glass at the wall with tiny cuts. Lou sighed, adding mental note to discuss the possibility of therapy with Debbie, and directed them toward the bathroom. There, she gently cleaned her wife’s hand, while Debbie splashed her face with some cold water to try and reduce the puffiness around her eyes. Looking slightly more put together, Debbie followed Lou out of the bathroom and down to the main floor, where the rest of their family was waiting.</p><p>As they descended the stairs, Debbie paused and took in her family, allowing a small smile to grace her face as the sounds of chatting and laughter reached her ears. Constance was sprawled on the rug, teaching Amita the card trick she had been begging to learn for weeks. Nine Ball, as usual, was sitting in her favorite spot, typing away and ignoring everyone around her. Across from them, on various couches and lounge chairs, sat the “adults” who were content to drink and chat with one another.</p><p>Reaching the bottom of the stairs, Debbie and Lou made their way to the center of the room to join the others. Debbie took a seat in her usual spot, the loveseat, while Lou continued on to the fridge to grab drinks for them.</p><p>“You okay, Debbie?” asked Constance, looking up from Amita’s pathetic attempts at sleight of hand.</p><p>“Yeah, why do you ask?” she replied with a smile of thanks as Lou wordlessly pressed a glass of water into her hand. She was sure she had been subtle; Lou only knew about the little breakdown because she had already been looking for her.</p><p>“I dunno, I guess it’s just 'cause we haven’t seen you all day. Kinda unlike you.”</p><p>“Well, I’m fine. Nothing to worry about.” Debbie took a long sip of water, sighing in relief as she felt the cool liquid counteract the pounding headache crying always left her with.</p><p>“Kay,” Constance shrugged and turned back to Amita.</p><p>Having gotten used to Constance’s abrupt conversation ends and lack of follow up questions months ago, Debbie settled back into loveseat with Lou and surveyed the room. The ease with which everyone interacted had been shocking at first, but then again, they had been chosen for a reason. Every single person in her crew, besides Daphne, had been chosen for their skills and the way she had known their different skills would complement each other. But when selecting them, she had been focused on how they would function as a team; never in a million years had she dreamed that they made a perfect, if slightly unconventional, family.</p><p>A quiet knock on the door roused her from her reverie and she rose to see who was there, only to be stopped by Lou’s quick, “I’ll get it.”</p><p>Outside the door, the girl gripped a small slip of paper in her hand, quickly checking the address on it to make sure she was in the right place. As she listened to the sounds of laughter and approaching footsteps, doubts she had long since buried began to resurface. <em>Is this even the right thing to do. Am I sure this is what she wanted? What if I mess it all up? I never should’ve come here.</em> Realizing worrying would get her nowhere, she quickly cleared her mind and plastered on her most charismatic smile, just in time for the door to open.</p><p>“Hi, is Deborah Ocean here? I need to speak with her,” she spoke, maintaining the charming smile she had been honing for years.</p><p>“Debbie, and yeah. Wait here, I’ll go get her,” Lou closed the door and went to inform her wife of the newest development. Curious, Debbie agreed to speak with the girl, wondering what on Earth she could possibly want. Together, they walked back to the entrance and opened the door. Now faced by the woman she was looking for, the girl gave a tentative smile.</p><p>“Debbie Ocean?” At Debbie’s affirming nod, she continued, “Hi, I’m Danni, your daughter. I’ve been waiting a long time to meet you.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The Ocean-Millers have a chat</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>Your daughter. Your daughter. Daughter. Daughter.</em> The words kept ringing in her mind as she stared into the girl’s, no, her daughter’s face, searching for signs of resemblance. Seeing Debbie’s clear state of shock, Lou took charge. She gently pulled her wife to the side and motioned to the girl.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Danni, was it? Would you like to come inside?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She nodded eagerly and stepped inside, closing the door behind her and taking in the room before her. When they reached the lounge area, Lou cleared her throat expectantly and six pairs of eyes looked up and turned to Danni with questioning looks. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Right, everyone, this is Danni. She’s Debbie’s, uh, daughter,” Lou told the group, ignoring a few of the more audible gasps. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Danni? Like your hot, maybe not dead brother?” Constance turned to Debbie, who merely nodded and gestured for Danni to take a seat.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The girl took a seat, perched on the edge of one of the chairs, not quite settling down, as if expecting the need of a timely escape. Noticing this, but choosing not to comment, Debbie took a closer look at the girl before her. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Her face remained cool and impassive, a mask that was only betrayed by her eyes. The girl’s eyes flicked warily from person to person, betraying her nerves and fear that the encounter wouldn’t go as planned. Noticing Debbie’s appraisement, Danni stiffened, her back becoming ramrod straight as she stared back at the nearly identical pair of dark eyes.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Relax, this isn’t an interrogation, you can make yourself comfortable. Love the hair, by the way,” Debbie spoke, trying to break the ice. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes, it’s very cool,” chimed in Daphne from her spot next to Rose on the couch.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Danni gave a small smile and fingered her shoulder length, turquoise hair, but said nothing. Debbie exchanged a look with her wife before speaking.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Well, Danni, is there a story behind this that we all get to hear or should we just keep sitting here in silence.” It came out sharper than she had intended and she would’ve regretted it had she not seen the almost unnoticeable smirk appear on Danni’s face. Apparently sarcasm was the fastest way to this girl’s heart.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah, there is a story. There’s not much to tell, but seeing as I don’t know who almost all of you are, could I get some introductions first, ‘cause this is basically my origin story and I don’t want to tell it to a bunch of strangers.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh I got this. I’m Constance. That’s Amita, Rose, Daphne, Tammy, Nine Ball, and I guess you already know Debbie and Lou,” Constance pointed at each person in turn as she replied.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Thanks, I guess I can wait for an actual introduction. Um, ok. Where to start?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“The beginning usually works,” quipped Debbie, receiving a raised eyebrow from Lou, who was surprised by her wife’s unusually quick acceptance of someone she didn’t know, even if that person was claiming to be her daughter. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">To everyone’s surprise, Danni rolled her eyes and huffed out a small laugh, losing her detached manner.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Right, well, as you all know, my name is Danni. That’s Danni with two “n”s and an “i”. My full name is Danielle Selene Reynolds and I’m 15. I was adopted when I was a baby by the Reynolds in an open adoption, which means that both parties knew each other, to a certain extent. The Reynolds were pretty well off, they’re both lawyers, and we lived in the city before moving to a more suburban neighborhood when I was like eight. What else? Oh, I found out about you, Debbie after I got caught stealing something ‘cause of the whole multiple members of your family are convicts and I heard them talking about how I was going to turn out just like them. Needless to say, they were not happy when they found out you were sent to prison.” She trailed off again, this time, seemingly lost in the thought. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“So what, you just left your two loving parents and nice, cushy life in the suburbs to come find your ex-con biological mother?” Debbie questioned, still unclear what had driven the girl to her.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Danni met Debbie’s gaze with narrowed eyes, “Who said anything about loving parents or a nice, cushy life? Hmm. Well, that’s me. Any questions?” Even as she said this, she was clearly hoping their answers would “no”, as she wasn’t in the mood to answer questions about a life she’d much rather leave behind. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">However, Constance immediately raised her hand and, with a sigh, Danni gestured for her to speak. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What’d you steal?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Danni frowned and fixed her with an unimpressed look before responding that it had been a pack of gum, but what did it matter? Constance shrugged, before muttering under her breath that she was just wondering. Still looking unimpressed, Danni glanced around the room to gauge everyone’s reactions, noting that they mostly lay between shock, confusion, and pity. Noticing that one of the women on the couch had tentatively raised her hand, Danni took a deep breath in anticipation of the inevitable question and gave a short nod as the go-ahead. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“How did you get here? You’ve made it pretty clear that your parents don’t care much for Debbie. They didn’t let you come here, did they?” The woman, Tammy, if she was remembering correctly, questioned, already pretty sure of what the answer would be.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Danni shifted a bit in her seat and locked her eyes on the ground, clearly uncomfortable with the eight pairs of eyes expectantly waiting for an answer. As she considered her options, Danni began anxiously rubbing the first knuckle on her left hand with her pointer finger, before finally settling on the truth. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’re right, they didn’t. I ran away”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Her short answer was met with silence, and only after a few moments did she dare to lift her gaze from the floor. What surprised her the most in the sea of faces before her was the look of understanding she found. There was no pity or judgment in Lou’s eyes, she merely offered Danni a sad smile and questioned the legality of it. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Luckily or unluckily enough, depending on how you look at it, Danni had been raised by two successful lawyers who taught her to always think before she acted. In this case, “thinking” included thorough research about the implications of a minor leaving home without parental permission. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Don’t worry, running away is only illegal in eight or nine states and, well, you’re not breaking any laws by talking to me. From what I’ve read, you would be breaking the law if you prevented me from calling home, lied about where I was, or…”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Or…what?” Lou questioned as gently as she knew how.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Or…nothing.” Danni tried for a reassuring smile and settled back into her chair.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After realizing that Danni was done talking, Debbie leaned forward and rested her elbows on her knees, still trying to figure out what had prompted Danni to come find her. Unable to, she broke the awkward silence they had settled back into.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Why?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Why?” Danni let out what sounded like an amused exhalation, “I had to leave and it just so happened that this is where I came.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Look, kid, I don’t know how to be a parent, that’s part of the reason I gave you up.” Debbie matter-of-factly told her, only pausing slightly toward the end of the sentence.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Her jaw tightened almost imperceptibly at the last few words, but Danni brushed them off and quietly responded.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m not asking you to be my mom. I’m just asking for a place to stay, and only for a bit.” While it was a statement, everyone heard the hopeful question concealed within it. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Debbie opened her mouth to respond, but was quickly cut off by Lou’s request to speak to her in the other room. The two left the room in a stifling silence, leaving everyone awkwardly avoiding each other’s gazes, unsure on how to interact. Lou quickly pulled Debbie into another room, where they could have more privacy to talk. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“We know nothing about this girl. You can’t seriously be considering this.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I know, I know. But the timeline matches up and I know that my daughter went to the Reynolds.” Lou was still unconvinced. “Besides, we can get a maternity test done and Nine Ball can go digging through this girl’s past.” With this, Debbie pulled out her phone and quickly texted Nine Ball, asking if she could check out Danni’s story. The reply came back only moments later. Debbie smirked and triumphantly turned the phone to show Lou the message, <em>what do you think I've been doing</em>.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Look, Lou, there’s something about this girl. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but, think about it, in her “origin story” she only gave us the bare minimum. No extra details; she didn’t even say where she was from, other than she lived in a city and then moved to the suburbs. She seemed nervous, but her story was careful; it was precise. She gave answers to what she thought we would want to know, like how she heard about me.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There had been something about the girl that had just seemed a little off. Maybe it had something to do with the smiling, charming girl Lou opened the door to that was so different from the nervous, almost wary girl who had told them her story. With a sigh, Lou grudgingly agreed that Debbie’s plan made sense and that she was right, to which she replied, “I always am.” Rolling her eyes at her wife’s joking arrogance, they rejoined the group in the main room. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Seeing Debbie and Lou return, the group let out a collective sigh of relief, as if expecting the two women to save them from having to deal with any awkward human interaction. Debbie shook her head and smirked at the fact that none of the six capable adults left in the room had been able to strike up any semblance of a conversation with the teenager. Adopting a more neutral expression, Debbie approached said teenager and told her that she could stay, with one condition. They would get a DNA test, confirming that Danni was Debbie’s biological daughter. Hearing the news, Danni lit up and quickly agreed to the DNA test, but before she could say anything more, Debbie added one more thing.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Before you move in, there’s something you should know about us,”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What? That you’re all criminals and stole that really expensive necklace from the Met Gala?” Danni interjected with an amused look as a few people choked on their drinks and everyone turned to her in shock. Both Debbie and Lou were more than a little impressed, but hid it well under their shock. Before anyone could ask, Danni put them out of their misery and explained that she had met John Frasier about a month ago after learning that he had been the reason Debbie’s dad and brother had gone to jail. He had merely confirmed what she had already suspected. Still looking amused, she gestured for Debbie to continue. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What I was going to say was that we’re a family, the eight of us, and I won’t hesitate to protect my family from anything that tries to tear us apart. Capiche?” The warning was clear in her tone, but Danni steadfastly met her gaze and gave a short nod. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Well that’s settled. Danni, I’ll show you to your room; it’s getting late,” Lou grabbed the girl’s duffel bag and briskly exited the room, leaving Danni no choice but to follow. After saying a quick goodnight and thank you, she left to follow Lou.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Danni?” She had just reached the doorway when she heard Debbie call her name and turned to face her, “happy birthday.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The sad smile Debbie received in response to her words seemed altogether too familiar to the girl. While her mouth smiled, flashing her pearly whites, the girl’s eyes were dark and grieving as she turned away, hoping to close the last chapter of her life and begin anew, but never willing to forget what she had lost.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>My research was not very thorough - i literally just looked at a website, so sorry if the vague legal stuff isn't super accurate</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The next morning. There are pancakes and fluffy penguin socks.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>sorry - i get distracted way to easily </p><p>from now on, i'm going to try and update more regularly (hopefully a minimum of once a week)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next morning, like most other mornings, Danni awoke with tears in her eyes. Her nights were not filled with nightmares and monsters, but a familiar face that left her grieving in the morning. Wiping her tears away, Danni made her way downstairs. As she descended the stairs, she could hear the adults gathered in the kitchen chatting and laughing together. The familiarity with which they interacted fueled a sense of longing in the girl. <em>That used to be us. But now I’m alone</em>. Trying to ignore those thoughts, she made her way to the kitchen, where she was met with the welcoming smell of fresh bacon and pancakes.</p><p>Debbie and Lou were manning the stove. Debbie was expertly flipping the pancakes, while Lou took a more relaxed approach to her bacon cooking, choosing to watch it cook while leaning against the counter and hoping that nothing got set on fire. Sitting at the table nearby was the rest of the team, sans Tammy, Amita, and Nine Ball, who hadn’t stayed the night. Constance was already enthusiastically digging into her breakfast, while Rose and Daphne were happy just picking at their food and chatting with each other.</p><p>“Morning, everyone,” Danni addressed the room, her voice still rough from sleep.</p><p>Not having heard the girl enter, in her shock, Debbie accidentally flipped one of the pancakes a little too aggressively and it landed on the floor just behind her. As it hit the ground, Debbie heard the girl mumble ‘man down’ with a little snort.</p><p>Debbie turned to look at the smirking girl and couldn’t help but grin in response. She looked younger and more unburdened than she had the night before. Hair still slightly mussed from sleep and leaning against the doorframe in t-shirt and sleep shorts, Danni looked every bit the teenager she was meant to be. She no longer looked like the the nervous, serious girl who had to grow up too fast.</p><p>Debbie pointed the spatula at the girl accusingly, “Oh you think this is funny, do you? All my hard work just went splat!”</p><p>Danni struggled to stifle her laughter at Debbie’s faux serious tone and the others in the room weren’t having much more luck.</p><p>“How were you so quiet?”</p><p>Danni casually lifted a foot, showing off the bright blue, fluffy penguin socks she had on.</p><p>“Magic.”</p><p>Lou watched the interactions between mother and daughter with a smile. She could definitely see the resemblance as the two brought out each other’s more playful sides. Realizing that they weren’t going to get anything done, she quickly cleaned up the half-cooked pancake from the floor and told them the plan for the day.</p><p>“Alright, you two, listen up. You have an appointment at ten that you’re going to be late for if we don’t get going soon, so Danni, eat quickly and go get dressed. Debbie, you can pass pancake duty off to someone else.”</p><p>Debbie rolled her eyes, but handed the spatula to Constance who swore she knew what she was doing, while Danni quickly ate some breakfast then ran back upstairs to get ready. She threw on some clothes and brushed her teeth and hair in record time. Once ready, she stood in front of the mirror, gripping the edge of the sink and tried to give herself a pep talk.</p><p>“You can do this, Danni. It’ll work; it has to work. Remember who you’re doing this for.”</p><p>“Hey Danni, you ready?”</p><p>Debbie’s voice startled her out of the intense staring competition she was having with herself in the mirror. Giving herself a once over and putting as much positivity as she could muster up into her tone, she responded.</p><p>“Yeah, I’m coming down! Just gimme a sec!”</p><p>Grabbing her bag that the papers she might need, Danni went downstairs. She joined Lou and Debbie, who were waiting for her by the door. They eyed the bag, but said nothing. Checking the bag one last time, Danni realized she had left something in her room.</p><p>“Crap! Sorry, I forgot something. Can I just quickly go grab it?”</p><p>At their nods and ‘go ahead’s, she ran back up to her room, taking the stairs two at a time. When she made it to her room, she immediately started searching for her lost item. <em>Where is it? Where is it? Where is it?!</em> A few moments later, just when she was beginning to panic, she found it under the dresser and breathed a sigh of relief. It must’ve slipped out of her bag when she wasn’t paying attention and rolled underneath the dresser. With the object safely tucked in her bag, she rejoined Debbie and Lou and they went out to the car.</p><p>As they drove to the doctor’s office (Lou may or may not have broken a few traffic laws to get them there on time), the three sat in an awkward silence until Debbie couldn’t take it anymore and turned on the radio. Danni was looking out the window, watching the world go by when Lou’s voice shattered the silence.</p><p>“Danni?”</p><p>The girl flinched at the sound of her name, something both Lou and Debbie took note of, before her neutral mask slid back into place. She looked up, briefly meeting Lou’s eyes in the rearview mirror.</p><p>“I noticed you didn’t eat much, so I grabbed you some fruit if you want it,” Lou passed back the bag she had stored the fruit in.</p><p>“Thanks,” Danni responded quietly, taking the bag from Lou, but making no move to open it.</p><p>Not wanting to pressure the girl, Lou exchanged a worried look with her wife. It had seemed like Danni was more comfortable with them at breakfast, but was suddenly reverting back to the girl from the night before. She kept a neutral expression on her face and made no move to initiate any sort of interaction. But even with her features fixed in a neutral expression, the two women could see the wariness in the girl’s eyes. It was clear she didn’t trust them.</p><p>They settled back into silence. Danni stared out the window with a carefully blank expression on her face, while Lou focused on driving and Debbie tapped a beat out to the song playing. They only stayed like that for a few more moments, before Debbie had had enough. She had spent enough time in silence when she had been planning her heist in solitary, but now she just wanted to try getting to know the quiet girl behind her. She hadn’t gotten to raise her daughter for the past 15 years and wasn’t about to waste any of the time she had been given.</p><p>“So, Danni,” she twisted in her seat to look at the girl, noting the girl had flinched again when she heard Debbie’s voice, “you wanted actual introductions to the people on our team, right.”</p><p>Danni nodded, but said nothing.</p><p>“Well, they’re not here, but Lou and I can tell you about them. If you want.”</p><p>Danni nodded again. This time, she responded with a small smile and a quiet, “I’d like that,”</p><p>“Great. Who do you want to start with? Constance? You two seemed to hit it off.”Debbie asked the girl with a small smirk on her face, knowing full well that while Constance and Danni hadn't yet 'hit it off', once they did, they'd be a force to be reckoned with.</p><p>“Can you tell me about you two, please,” Danni still spoke softly and Debbie had to strain to hear her. For a moment, Debbie looked at her in shock. Danni already seemed to know everything she needed to about them. Clearing misunderstanding Debbie’s expression as rejection, Danni blushed and looked away, “O-or not. Sorry, I didn’t mean to—”</p><p>“It’s fine. I was just a little surprised you wanted to hear about us,” Debbie gently cut her off, “I thought, based off the research you seemed to have done, that you already knew everything you wanted to.”</p><p>“Oh. Well, I know some things, but I don’t really know anything, like, personal, and you’re my mom, Debbie, and Lou’s your wife, so I was just wondering…” Danni stopped herself before she could start rambling.</p><p>“Well, what do you want to know, kid?”</p><p>Danni took a moment to think and asked, “How’d you two meet?”</p><p>Lou let out an amused noise, “that is quite the story.”</p><p>Debbie let out a little chuckle as she remembered the day and launched into the story. For the rest of the car ride, Debbie told the girl about the crazy day she met her wife. It all began with a case of a mistaken identity and devolved into chaos from there. As she told their story, Debbie saw the girl start to open up like she had in the morning. At first, she only sporadically let out a chuckle, before realizing she had let her guard down and pulled back. But by the time they reached the doctor’s office, she was more relaxed and comfortable laughing with them, though not quite as at ease as she had been earlier that morning.</p><p>The moment Lou parked, Danni leapt out of the car, a certain amount of tension draining from her body. Debbie and Lou exchanged another look, though this one was of confusion, but decided that it was neither the place nor the time to discuss it. They got out of the car and walked over to where Danni was standing on the sidewalk with her bag slung over her shoulder.</p><p>Lou offered to put her bag in the trunk for her, but at the suggestion, a look of panic flashed over the girl’s face so quickly that Lou almost thought she had imagined it. Quickly fixing her features into her practiced blankness, Danni politely declined and clutched the bag closer to her, stating that she felt more comfortable keeping it with her. Although disappointed that Danni had immediately reverted back to a mask hiding whatever it was she felt, Lou didn’t push and simply locked the car. If all went as planned at the appointment, they would have plenty of time for questions later.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>let me know what you think</p><p>all feedback is much appreciated<br/>all feedback = constructive criticism (glowing praise is good too though) </p><p> quick question to everyone - does Lou actually have an accent? like does she sound kind of Australian cuz i know a bunch of fics have her as Australian and Cate Blanchett is Australian, but i can't really hear it</p><p>:)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A visit to the doctor's office.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The moment the trio walked into the office, Danni was immediately thrown back to her childhood. The smell of antiseptics bombarded her as she remembered hospital visits and the lies she had to tell from years ago. With a shudder, Danni shoved those memories away and focused at the task at hand.</p><p>Once they had signed in, the three sat down to wait on one of the uncomfortable, rickety, wooden benches. The three sat with Danni sandwiched in the middle, but a good amount of space in between them. While Debbie was extremely conscious about how close she was to the girl and making sure she wasn’t making her uncomfortable, Lou casually slung her arm across the back of the bench. They both noticed the tension that had bled out of Danni when she had left the car had returned.</p><p>Like the night before, Danni was rubbing the first knuckle on her left hand with her right pointer finger. Once again, the self-soothing behavior didn’t go unnoticed, but this time, Lou commented on it.</p><p>“Nervous?”</p><p>Straightening, the girl shot Lou a thoroughly unconvincing attempt at a bright smile. “Not at all.”</p><p>“Right,” came the skeptical reply as Lou stared pointedly at Danni’s hands. Following Lou’s gaze, the girl blushed and immediately stopped the motion. The moment Danni stopped, Lou saw the thin, silvery scar that stretched diagonally across that first knuckle.</p><p>“What happened to your hand?” Debbie asked, staring down at the silvery scar Danni had been tracing. Danni flexed her hand and stared down at the scar with a faint smile, as if lost in the memory.</p><p>Based off her expression, Debbie and Lou were expecting to be answered with a story of a typical childhood memory; she had been playing with friends and tripped, or baking cookies with her family and accidentally burned herself, or spending time with the family’s grumpy cat and been scratched. Expecting an answer like that, the two were shocked when the question was finally answered.</p><p>The girl examined the pale mark for a moment, then grinned ruefully up at Debbie, “I punched a mirror.”</p><p>Letting out a disbelieving noise, Lou asked why.</p><p>“Doesn't matter.” Her smile became more strained and her tone disinterested. </p><p>Clearly not believing the disinterested tone, but unwilling to push for answers that could potentially scare the girl away, Lou settled on what she hoped was a reassuring back rub. A motion she often used when her wife was upset. For a moment, Danni melted into the touch before remembering where she was and what she was doing there and shot up off the bench, as if she had been burned. Lou ignored the sting of rejection and focused on the girl.</p><p>“I-I uh, bathroom,” she gestured in the general direction of the bathroom, “I-I’m just gonna…go.” After stumbling through her excuses, Danni grabbed her bag and walked off as quickly as she could without seeming too panicked.</p><p>“Should we…?” Debbie asked Lou, motioning at Danni’s retreating form. Lou shook her head, figuring that they should probably give her some space, and Debbie settled back into the bench, expelling the breath she hadn’t known she was holding. Leaning into the back of the bench, Debbie observed her wife. Lou watched her from the corner of her eye before rolling her eyes and turning to her wife.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Nothing,” Debbie replied nonchalantly with a little smirk on her lips.</p><p>“What?” Lou repeated, the second time with a more exasperated, amused tone.</p><p>“How do you do it?”</p><p>“Do what, love? I’m not a mind-reader.”</p><p>Debbie rolled her eyes, but took on a more serious tone.</p><p>“You’re so good with her. I mean, I’m not sure how to act around her. I’m not mother material; I don’t have any maternal instincts. You know I don’t really do touchy feely.”</p><p>“I’m really just guessing, Debs. Did you not just see her run away from us? But isn’t that what parenthood is; making mistakes and learning from them? <em>You</em> are going to be an amazing mum, you just need to try not to be afraid. Think of it like a heist; you need to be aware of a situation’s possible outcomes. And, in order to do that, you need to really get to know the situation.”</p><p>After only a bit of gentle teasing, Debbie tried to take Lou's advise to heart. She made a mental checklist of everything she had learned about the girl. Firstly, the girl was clearly intelligent - the way she omitted information of importance when she was giving her "life story", but made it sound like it was still all there was no accident. Secondly, she was definitely not big on cars or doctor’s offices, tensing up in both situations when she had been previously relaxed - most likely faced some trauma in both. Thirdly, she didn’t trust Debbie or Lou at all, retreating behind blank expressions and short, flat answers when she felt pressured.</p><p>Realizing that she really didn’t know much about the girl, she stopped at three, checked her watch (the one stolen from Danny, who, to be fair, had stolen it from someone else) and sighed. They had almost been late to the appointment, how much longer could they be made to wait.</p><p>As Danni’s disappearance was nearing its fifth minute, Debbie and Lou began to get worried, until they saw her making her way back toward them. They quickly hid their hurt as she settled into an armchair nearby and began flipping through a magazine she had found on the table next to her. Thankfully, not too soon after, their names were called and they made their way to an examining room.</p><p>Debbie and Lou settled in the room’s uncomfortable armchairs, while Danni perched on the examining table, taking care not to wrinkle the crinkly paper too much. The nurse who had led them to the room gave them a quick explanation of the procedure. It was an incredibly simple process; blood would be drawn from Debbie and Danni and then sent to a lab for analysis. As long as there were no complications, they would receive the results in two to three days.</p><p>To make the process more efficient, Danni went with another nurse to get her blood drawn. But something was making Debbie uneasy. Maybe it was the hard glint in the girl’s eyes she had seen when the second nurse had entered. Danni may have been excellent at schooling her features into neutrality, but there always seemed to be something left in her eyes. To many, her face would have betrayed nothing, but Debbie was excellent at reading people, it’s why she was so good at what she did. But then again, maybe it was the fact she wouldn’t be seeing Danni get her blood drawn. Trying to ignore the sense of suspicion lurking at the back of her mind, Debbie told herself that, realistically, it would be almost impossible to fake the test. Besides, what would be the point of pretending to be the daughter of some con artist, even an extremely successful one.</p><p>Even though logic was telling her there were plenty of reasons not to be suspicious, Debbie had never been the quickest person to trust, and everything with Claude Becker had only made her more cautious. Lou noticed her wife’s unease and sent her a questioning look, but Debbie shook her head, ‘not here’.</p><p>Blood drawn, Debbie and Lou met back up with Danni in the waiting area. She looked like she had been waiting for a little while, but quickly got up when the adults approached her, eager to be on her way. Eyes flicking from the small bandage on Danni’s right arm back to her face, Debbie realized something.</p><p>“You’re left-handed?” Something trivial, but unusual. Especially if both parents were right-handed.</p><p>“Ambidextrous.” </p><p>Silently cursing her suspicious nature, Debbie realized that most of their interactions had consisted of her grilling the girl. No wonder she didn’t seem to want to trust them; it had just been one interrogation after another as they tried to pry into her past.</p><p>With her second realization, Debbie tried to steer the conversation into what she hoped was safer ground.</p><p>“How come they gave you a fun band-aid?” Asking in a faux hurt tone, she looked down at her arm, where the nurse had taped a piece of gauze, and then at Danni’s arm. Unlike the plain brown bandage keeping the gauze to her arm, Danni had a bright blue band-aid adorned with little Tweety Birds.</p><p>Danni followed Debbie’s gaze down to her bandage and huffed out a laugh, more at ease than she had been in hours.</p><p>“I dunno. The nurse, or technician, or whatever they’re called gave me a couple of choices. They didn’t have penguins, but Tweety Bird seemed like the next best thing.”</p><p>“Why do you like penguins so much?” Debbie accidentally fell right back into question mode.</p><p>“What’s wrong with penguins? They’re cute,” Danni took a moment, seemingly pondering something, before her eyes lit up in a playful challenge, “Ohh, I see how it is. You feel that penguins have wronged you and now have a personal vendetta against them. Gotcha. Makes sense.”</p><p>Luckily for Debbie, the questioning hadn’t caused the girl to withdraw and answer with short, emotionless answers. In fact, the harmless question had done quite the opposite. Danni had answered with an easy grin on her face and a teasing lilt to her words. By the time they reached the car, Danni was snickering as she listened to the horrible penguin puns Debbie and Lou were throwing at each other. What had started as way to get the girl to relax and laugh turned into a cutthroat pun-off; worst pun wins.</p><p>The car was another matter, however. Her laughter slowly died down and her grin faded from her face. While she didn’t physically tense, something that could definitely be seen as progress, Debbie and Lou saw her eyes darken almost imperceptibly. Neither of them could quite place what it was. Anger? Fear?</p><p>“Shall we?” The girl’s form remained loose and relaxed as she gestured toward the car, but her voice was strained.</p><p>Debbie and Lou nodded and got in the car. Danni didn’t immediately follow; she stared down at the door handle for what seemed like an eternity, although it couldn’t have been more than a second or two, and willed herself to open the door, to just be normal and get in the damn car.<em> It’s just a car. I can trust them…I hope. Why can’t I be like her? Why do I have to be so messed up?</em> Allowing her frustration at herself fuel her into action, Danni got in the car and quickly buckled her seat belt, not meeting either adults’ eyes.</p><p>This time, neither Lou, nor Debbie allowed the car to settle into the uncomfortable, tense silence they had become well acquainted with on the ride over, instead providing little anecdotes about the team or past jobs. With the occasional glance in the rearview mirror at Danni, they could tell it was helping. Gone were the stiff posture and detached manner. Even her emotionless facade appeared to be cracking, as they were graced with the hint of a smirk or an almost silent scoff in response to some of the more unbelievable stories. The one thing that remained was the wary, watchful look in her eyes.</p><p>The look stirred something deep within Debbie, the feeling that she would hunt down the people who had caused it and make them pay. The people who had forced this child to hide her true feelings beneath a cold mask of indifference, but didn’t look closely enough to see what was hidden in her eyes. Ah, so those were maternal instincts.</p><p>When they returned to the house, the rest of the team was waiting there for them. With a few jokes and poorly concealed threats, they welcomed who they hoped would be their newest addition with open arms. Debbie watched them fondly as she wondered what she would do if the test came back negative. She didn’t like the idea of sending Danni back to wherever she had learned to hide behind masks and walls. No, there was no point in entertaining such ideas; everyone already knew what the results would read. All they could do was wait.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>don't worry - i know they could've just done a simple cheek swab, but that was too easy</p><p>also - things are going to start picking up (timewise)</p><p> </p><p>Let me know what you think - i love reading your feedback</p><p> </p><p>:)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>the results are in</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i know i said i would try and post once a week, sooo shall we just say a week is 9 days</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next two days passed relatively quickly. Danni spent them bonding with the team. They were almost always never all there at the same time, the exception being game night, which allowed her to spend one on one time with most of them. She and Constance quickly became partners in crime, just as Debbie thought they would, and spent hours lounging around the house and playing a game they had invented. The goal of the game was quite simple, the execution, not so much. They had three hours to steal a certain object from Debbie or Lou (usually Lou because she was the easier target; somehow Debbie always knew what was going on) and keep it in their possession until the end of the game.</p><p>Even though randomly losing possession throughout the day proved to be annoying to both Debbie and Lou, it was overshadowed by the fact by how happy and free Danni was acting. Who knew all it took to get her out of her shell was committing a bit of larceny. But even with her more relaxed behavior, Danni avoided spending too much time alone with Debbie, Lou, Tammy, Rose, and Daphne (the “adults”), tending to be more closed off and careful around them.</p><p>As the days passed, the resemblance between Danni and Debbie, especially for those who had known Debbie when she was younger, became more and more uncanny. They had the same dry sense of humor and calculating look when planning something. Even the little smirk and quiet amusement, especially at someone else’s misfortune, was the same.</p><p>More and more, Debbie told herself that the results wouldn’t matter, that the proof was right in front of her. But even if she was wrong, she knew they couldn’t just send her away, not anymore.</p>
<hr/><p>The moment the test results arrived, Debbie called everyone to come over so they could be there when they opened the envelope. They all came over as quickly as they could, except Constance who had slept over and would be dead to the world for another couple of hours. She had made it a rule never to wake up before nine o’clock if she didn’t have to, a rule Danni seemed to have taken to heart as well.</p><p>Everyone settled in the kitchen, coffee was passed out, and Debbie started breakfast, with some help from Daphne, who was the only one who seemed fully awake and chipper as usual. Since Debbie and Lou didn’t want to see the results without Danni there, all they could do was wait for the teen to get up. The tension was palpable. Every few moments, someone would sneak a look towards the small, unassuming envelope that sat on the counter. As the majority of them were not morning people, they sat quietly, listening to Daphne explain the plot of the movie she was producing.</p><p>After everyone had gotten a bite to eat, Debbie leaned against the counter and slung an arm around Lou’s waist. For a few moments, they just stood there, nursing their coffees and watching their half-asleep family. After today, they might just have another member.</p><p>Lou nudged her wife and quietly asked, “didn’t you ask Nine Ball to see if she could dig up some information on Danni?”</p><p>“Right,” Debbie clicked her tongue, “I may or may not have forgotten about that.”</p><p>Shaking her head at her wife’s forgetfulness, Lou couldn’t really blame her. She knew Debbie had gotten caught up in the fact that she actually had a daughter, and to be honest, so had she. Debbie gave her wife a quick peck on the cheek before getting up.</p><p>“Nine Ball, can I talk to you in the other room?”</p><p>Getting no response from the hacker who was, as always, typing away at her computer, albeit slower than usual, Debbie tried again.</p><p>“Nine Ball?”</p><p>After getting no reaction again, Debbie tried again in a more aggravated tone with what she knew would get a reaction.</p><p>“Leslie?”</p><p>At the sound of her name, Nine Ball looked over at Debbie and rolled her eyes, “yes, <em>Deborah</em>?”</p><p>“Can I talk to you in the other room?”</p><p>“Sure,” Nine Ball closed her computer and followed Debbie out the door.</p><p>Everyone left in the kitchen, besides Lou, just looked to each other in confusion. There weren’t many things they kept from one another, but they trusted Debbie enough to know that she probably had a good reason. It was also much too early and they quickly forgot it.</p>
<hr/><p>“Have you found anything?” Debbie questioned, once they were in the safety of the living room.</p><p>“‘Bout what?” Nine Ball replied in her typical, bored fashion.</p><p>Debbie shot her an equally unimpressed look, “Danni”</p><p>“Oh, right. No.”</p><p>“You’ve found nothing? As in, nothing nothing.” Hearing the hacker’s answer, Debbie gave her an incredulous look.</p><p>“Yes, ma’am.”</p><p>“Aren’t you one of the best hackers on the East Coast?” At Nine Ball’s nod, she continued, “and you’re telling me you couldn’t find any information on a fifteen year old?”</p><p>Nine Ball crossed her arms and waited for Debbie to finish, checking her nails with a bored expression on her face. When she was finally sure that Debbie was done, she answered. “Yeah, that’s what I’m telling you,” she held a hand up to stop Debbie from launching into another mini rant. "I am one of the best hackers on the East Coast, but what is blocking me from getting Danni’s information is some next level shit. Like I’m talking one of the best hackers in the country, maybe even the world.”</p><p>Debbie considered what Nine Ball had just told her and frowned. <em>Why would a world-class hacker hide all evidence of Danni’s past? </em></p><p>“Do you know who it is?”</p><p>“Nah, any good hacker knows how to do whatever they want without leaving a trace. But if you think about it, any of these hackers could’ve erased her from the internet, but it’s all still there, just hidden. Kinda weird.”</p><p>“Hmm,” Debbie hummed thoughtfully, making a mental note to tell Lou what she had learned, “Okay, well, let me know if you find anything.”</p><p>They made their way back to the kitchen, where they settled down to wait. Not being the most patient group of people, it was only around a half an hour later when they gave up and Lou went upstairs to get the teen up, which, much like waking a sleeping dragon was inadvisable.</p>
<hr/><p>Lou knocked gently on the teen’s door, “Danni? Are you up? Can I come in?”</p><p>Hearing no reply, she knocked again, a little louder, and repeated herself. After getting no response for the second time, Lou made her first mistake. She pushed open the door to see Danni sitting on her bed with her back to the door. It was the most relaxed she had ever seen the girl. Danni had a pair of headphones on and was tapping her fingers in time with the music. With her other hand, she was writing in a small, black journal. At first, she didn’t seem to notice Lou’s presence, but after a moment, the girl’s eyes flicked to a small, strategically positioned mirror on her bedside table. Their eyes met and Danni leapt off the bed with a little yelp of shock, pulled her headphones off, and slammed her journal closed.</p><p>“Jesus! Have you forgotten how to knock?!” Danni snapped. For a moment, Lou just stood there in shock. Danni had never snapped or raised her voice, seeming like a surprisingly well mannered teenager. But Lou saw it as progress; the teen wasn’t as wary of them as she had been before. Then again, the moment she processed what she had said to Lou, her hands flew to her mouth in horror and she began mumbling apologies while looking at her feet.</p><p>It was then that Lou made her second mistake. She took a few steps toward the girl with her arms slightly outreached, hoping to calm her. Seeing Lou approach, however, only caused the girl to take a few stumbling steps backwards.</p><p>“I’m sorry, I’m really sorry. Please, I didn’t mean to raise my voice.” For what Lou thought was the first time, Danni looked completely unguarded, panic and fear taking over her face as she begged and apologized.</p><p>Cursing herself as she realized her mistake, Lou took a few steps backward and spoke to Danni in the most soothing tone she could manage. “Danni? It’s okay, love. I’m not going to hurt you. Just breathe. That’s it. Just in and out.” Danni took a few shuddering breaths. As Lou continued with her soft reassurances, the girl calmed. It only took a few more minutes for Danni’s shaky breaths to become steady, and she sat on her bed, hugging her knees and facing Lou. Seeing as Danni seemed much calmer, Lou motioned toward the foot of the bed with a quiet ‘can I'. To her credit, Danni only hesitated a moment before giving her a small nod, seemingly deeming Lou as a person she could trust, at least for the time being.</p><p>Lou sat cross-legged at the foot of the bed, being careful to keep her distance from the teen. From her place on the bed, she could clearly see the red rimming the girl’s eyes, betraying the tears she had shed earlier that morning. Danni sat, avoiding eye contact and anxiously rubbing the scar on her knuckle.</p><p>“Are you alright?”</p><p>Another silent nod.</p><p>“Do you want to talk about it?”</p><p>Danni shook her head.</p><p>“Okay, I won’t make you. Oh, I almost forgot. The maternity test results are here. We’re just waiting on you. And Constance, should she ever choose to grace us with her presence.”</p><p>A watery smile and after a moment, Danni responded, her voice still rough.</p><p>“Thank you.” They both knew she wasn’t just talking about the news Lou brought.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” Danni continued in an ashamed whisper, “can we just forget about this…please?” She looked up at Lou pleadingly.</p><p>The puppy dog eyes almost broke Lou’s resolve, but she knew how unhealthy it was to keep things bottled up. If she was going to be a parent, she should probably start acting like a responsible, emotionally available adult.</p><p>“Hey, you have nothing to be sorry for. Do you hear me? Nothing. I shouldn’t’ve come into your space like that. And...we’ll table the discussion for now. But you need to talk to someone. Doesn’t have to be any of us, okay? Just talk to someone.”</p><p>At Danni’s little nod, Lou smiled and got up off the bed.</p><p>“See ya in a bit.”</p><p>Lou went to go wake Constance, hoping that it would go better with her than it had with Danni. Staying where she was, Danni heard Lou make her way down the hallway and bang on Constance’s door, chuckling when she heard Lou yell to her.</p><p>“Constance! Get your ass out of bed!”</p><p>Danni uncurled and stretched out on the bed, staring at the ceiling. Contrary to what many thought, she could feel. Beneath the blank facade hid her emotions, swirling and crashing around within her. For years she had been able to force herself to feel nothing, to hide her feelings away from everyone, including herself. But since <em>that</em> day, nothing was contained anymore. She felt too much. It filled up the hole that had been ripped in her heart and drove her to keep going, to fight, to live.</p><p>Even when the fear and grief faded away, she was always left with one burning emotion. Anger. At herself for being too weak, at <em>her</em> for leaving her all alone, at the world for making it so damn hard to even want to live and fight.</p><p>Getting off the bed, Danni locked her journal away in the bedside table and strode to the bathroom. Seeing the redness around her eyes, she quickly splashed some water on her face before collapsing on the closed toilet seat. Head in her heads, the teen tried to will away the anger, knowing she would have to be level-headed for what was to come, but her mind kept going back to one thing. <em>Why? Why did you leave me? Why did you have to care? It wasn’t worth it! I wasn't worth it. </em>As her mind kept running through the same questions, she growled and lashed out at the wall.</p><p>The girl struck the wall again and again until her knuckles were a mess of blood and bruises. As she pummeled the wall, the pain took over until it was the only thing she felt. Her anger hidden beneath the pain, she stood there panting and surveyed the tiled wall. <em>Well fuck</em>.</p><p>With a sigh, she wiped her blood off the wall as quickly as she could and set to work cleaning her hands. Once she was sure they looked minimally damaged and the blood had clotted, she threw on a sweater that reached her fingertips and a pair of shorts. Having made sure nothing looked too out of place, she headed downstairs.</p><p>When she entered the kitchen, she found everyone waiting for her (even the bleary-eyed Constance). She seated herself at the large, round kitchen table and was immediately greeted with a chorused “good morning” and half of a waffle placed in front of her. Looking around the table until she saw her prize, Danni grabbed the Nutella jar, keeping mind not to let the sweater sleeves expose her beaten up hands.</p><p>After letting her have a minute to eat, Debbie handed Danni the envelope. She quickly tore it open and pulled out a couple sheets of paper. The first was a short letter, while the others explained the process and showed the results in DNA and numbers. The teen absentmindedly handed Debbie the letter in favor of looking over the DNA sheets. Debbie quickly scanned the page before reading the short message aloud.</p><p>
  <em> Dear Mrs. Ocean-Miller and Ms. Reynolds, </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Enclosed within this envelope are the results of your maternity test administered on July 14, 2018. We at Reunite You and Me are delighted to inform you that Deborah Ocean-Miller is the biological mother of Danielle Reynolds. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Congratulations! </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Samantha Boone CEO and Founder of Reunite You and Me </em>
</p><p>
  <em>A foundation dedicated to bringing families together. </em>
</p><p>Hearing the news, everyone got up with whoops and cries, hugging Debbie and Lou, who had wide grins on their faces. Everyone except Danni that is. She remained seated and fought the rising feeling of anger that she had been unable to quell.</p><p>“Danni?”</p><p>She clenched her jaw and turned to look at Debbie, whose smile faded into confusion as she saw the cold fury burning in the girl’s eyes.</p><p>“What changed?”</p><p>“What do you mean?”</p><p>“You never wanted…me” At Debbie’s stunned look, the teen continued, “what changed, hmm? You threw me away like I was garbage. I was nothing to you. And now you’re oh so happy to have your daughter back, conveniently forgetting why you never had her.” Danni let out a cold, deprecating laugh.</p><p>“Do you know what it’s like to know your own <em>mother</em> never wanted you. To know that she only stuck around long enough to give you a name and then passed you off to some strangers. To know that those strangers, my <em>parents</em>,” she spat out, “regretted the moment they took me in. That they hate who I’ve grown up to be. I was never enough for them, for <em>you</em>.”</p><p>The room was silent as everyone stared in shock at the girl who had taken off her mask and was baring herself to them, showing them the anger and the hurt and the pain. Her eyes were cold and unforgiving as they bore into the woman in front of her.</p><p>“Danni, I—“</p><p>“No. You hurt…me. You know how long I’ve spent hating myself because I’ll never be good enough for anyone. Well…almost anyone.” She finished the sentence in a near whisper, adding the last bit as an afterthought, musing to herself. Thinking about her one person, the anger withdrew and Danni realized the extent to which she lost control. She ran her fingers roughly through her hair as she thought. <em>Oh fuck, what have I done?</em> She took in the stunned faces around her and knew she had gone too far.</p><p>For the second time that morning, her hands flew to her mouth in horror, wishing she could take it all back. “Danni…” Debbie tried again, her voice soft and reassuring. Trying to find the words, Debbie took a step closer to her daughter, who shied away, looking horrified at herself. She tried to find the right words to tell the girl that it was okay, it would all be okay. Every single one of Danni’s words had hurt, excruciatingly so, but she understood. In a way, the girl was right. But Debbie had done it for her daughter. It had been Debbie who wasn’t enough, not Danni. All she needed to do was find the words to tell her that.</p><p>“Oh my god, what have I done?” The girl whispered to herself, “I-I-I’m so sorry. Please, I d-didn’t mean to…I-I mean…” she was panicking, stumbling over her words, but she managed to get one coherent thought out before she fled, “I-I need to get some air!”</p><p>As they watched her hasty retreat out the front door, without even her shoes on, Lou made to go after her, but Debbie grasped her by the elbow and wordlessly shook her head. It would do no good to chase after her and make her feel cornered. They needed to trust that she would come back on her own.</p><p>Debbie and Lou made their way to the living room, where they had a clear view of the door and settled down to wait. Lou slung an arm around her wife, who gratefully sank into the embrace. Placing her head on Lou’s shoulder, Debbie finally let the tears that had been threatening to fall out as they waited for Danni to come back home to them. She had come back to them once, she could do it again. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>let me know what you think - i love reading your feedback!</p><p> </p><p>:)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Basically the family has a little heart to heart. Stuff is revealed (though it was kinda already known), people get closer, and there are tears.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>look at me go! I am cruising - another chapter and it's only been 5 days!!!!</p><p>sidenote - why are the summaries the hardest to write? like i wrote the chapter, shouldn't i know what's going on<br/>sidesidenote - my summaries are getting bad whoops<br/>sidesidesidenote - why are my chapters getting longer? who said they could do that</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Just outside the house, Danni sat with her head resting on her knees staring at the grey, turbulent water before her. In only a few minutes she had potentially ruined months of preparation. <em>They’re going to kick me out. This was all for nothing; I failed. Why couldn’t I just keep my fucking mouth shut?</em> She hurled a nearby rock into the water, her busted knuckles protesting the movement.</p><p>Danni sat there for over an hour, pondering what she could possibly do to salvage the situation. She finally decided just to act properly distraught and beg for forgiveness. Emphasis on act. Ever since her short tirade and the consequent panic, a calm had descended upon her. The anger that had been building up inside her for years had finally been released.</p><p>She spent a few more minutes just staring out at the water, steeling herself for what was to come. With a sigh, she got up and trudged back to the house where she found Debbie and Lou curled up on the couch together. They both looked up as they heard her enter, but said nothing, waiting for her to start. As she approached them, Danni clenched her fist, allowing the skin on her knuckles to split open again and used the pain to bring tears to her eyes. When she saw the tears pooled in the girl’s eyes, Debbie’s first reaction was panic. Dealing with emotions wasn’t really her thing, but a nudge from Lou stopped her from spiraling any further.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” Danni’s voice was shaky and she avoided eye contact as she stood across from the two women, “I shouldn’t have lost my temper like that. You didn’t deserve that; I was wrong.”</p><p>Debbie sighed and gestured for Danni to sit.</p><p>“You weren’t entirely wrong,” she held a hand up to stop the anticipated interruption, “I did give you away, but not for the reasons you think. You were <em>always</em> enough for me; I would’ve given up this life for you. But I wasn’t enough. I didn’t want to ruin your life before it even really began.”</p><p>When Debbie finished speaking, Danni sniffed and furiously wiped away her tears with the sleeve of her sweater before whispering something so quietly that was almost inaudible.</p><p>“What was that, love?” Lou asked gently.</p><p>“Please don’t kick me out,” the two women had to strain to hear it, but when they did, their hearts broke. Danni’s practiced blank mask slid away and she looked absolutely miserable.</p><p>“We would never; you’re safe here,” Debbie told her daughter firmly. The girl gave a little half smile as if not entirely convinced, but seemed to relax a bit. As she leaned back in the chair, she absentmindedly rolled up her sleeves, forgetting about the state her hands were in.</p><p>Neither of the adults could suppress their gasp as the girl’s bloodied knuckles were revealed. They kept their distance, but stared in horror at the cuts and bruises. Noticing their gazes, Danni sheepishly tugged the sleeves back down over her hands.</p><p>“What happened?” They asked almost simultaneously.</p><p>“Nothing,” she replied a little too quickly. But at their unconvinced faces, she hurriedly added more of an explanation, “I’m fine, I just slipped on the rocks by the water.”</p><p>Debbie eyed the girl critically, not convinced by the little story, but didn’t challenge her. There would be other times to talk about it.</p><p>“Okay, well, try to be more careful next time. Anyway, there’s something we wanted to talk to you about.”</p><p>Danni nodded, then looked at Debbie with her brow furrowed in confusion, “What is it?”</p><p>Debbie pulled a carefully folded sheet of paper out of her jacket pocket and slid it across the coffee table to Danni. She tapped the paper with a blunt nail, “take a look at this.”</p><p>The teen hesitantly took the paper off the table, but when she read the header, she shook her head.</p><p>“No.”</p><p>“No?” Debbie ignored the initial sting of rejection, “you know what this is, don’t you?”</p><p>“Guardianship transfer request. I know.”</p><p>“It means that you would be able to live with us. We would be your legal guardians.”</p><p>“I <em>know</em>,” Danni ground out.</p><p>With that, Debbie leaned back and folded her arms across her chest, fixing the girl with a hard stare.</p><p>“So why not?”</p><p>Danni began to fidget, rubbing the scar on her knuckle and looking anywhere but Debbie and Lou. She didn’t know what to tell them. <em>It’s not possible. It would ruin everything</em>. After a few moments, she decided on a half truth.</p><p>“I can’t.”</p><p>Debbie was getting extremely frustrated with the girl’s half answers, but kept her tone neutral as she answered.</p><p>“What do you mean you can’t?”</p><p>The girl sighed, “I can’t risk it. There’s no guarantee the judge will rule in your favor. Besides, my parents will have to be there, which means that they’ll know where I am. That can’t happen. I was extremely careful when I made sure that no one would know where I went. So…no.”</p><p>“Okay,” came the simple reply.</p><p>“Okay? That’s it? You’re not going to try and make me change my mind?” The girl’s eyes narrowed in suspicion, expecting them to put up more of a fight.</p><p>“How would that make us any better than the people who raised you,” Debbie ignored Lou’s warning squeeze to her hand; they would have to talk about it one day, “we’re not going to hurt you or force you to do something you don’t want to.”</p><p>“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Danni crossed her arms and met Debbie’s gaze. The woman merely raised an eyebrow and answered in a light tone.</p><p>“I think you do.”</p><p>“I don’t want to talk about this. What happened to not making me do anything I don’t want to?” The teen broke off the eye contact and glared angrily at the floor.</p><p>“You don’t have to say anything, we’ll do it for you.” Danni looked up with a puzzled look on her face and Debbie elaborated, “Lou and I will say how we think you grew up based on our interactions, and you don’t need to say anything—”</p><p>Lou quickly interrupted, so Danni wouldn’t get the wrong idea, “we’re not going to interpret your silence as agreement, so don’t feel like you have to say anything, okay?”</p><p>Danni gave a silent nod, regarding them with an interested, but watchful look in her eye.</p><p>Debbie glanced at her wife, who gave an encouraging nod, before she began.</p><p>“Before you were born, I chose the Reynolds because I could see them raising my daughter to be happy. I thought I had chosen right, but I didn’t, did I? From what we’ve seen, the people who raised you were not the kind, easy going people I met over 15 years ago.” Danni didn’t respond, but her eyes widened almost imperceptibly in shock. <em>How could she know? </em></p><p>Taking note of the girl’s reaction, Debbie continued, “obviously not literally.”</p><p>“Obviously,” Danni echoed quietly.</p><p>“These past three days, Lou and I have noticed some things that honestly make me want to kill the Reynolds. Or, more realistically, frame them and send them to jail for life.” That earned her a dry chuckle from the girl, who knew they were more than capable of doing just that.</p><p>“Danni…we know you don’t fully trust us, which is okay, but you are <em>safe</em> with us. We don’t want you to be afraid of us. Now, Lou and I have a theory that we would like to share with you. You can tell us how right it is, okay?”</p><p>“'Kay,” the teen answered in a small voice, already having realized what the theory was.</p><p>“You were abused. You ran away because you were afraid. You came to <em>us</em> because you afraid.” Debbie spoke plainly and in a matter of fact tone, not one for subtlety when it didn’t suit her.</p><p>Danni bit her lip and looked away, unintentionally giving them the answer they were looking for. Seeing that they might need to convince Danni that they were sure before she was willing to talk, Lou spoke up.</p><p>“All the signs are there, Danni. It explains your aversion to hospitals and what happened this morning.”</p><p>At the reminder of what had happened earlier that morning, Danni flushed and kept her eyes firmly glued to the ground. With her gaze there, she couldn’t see Debbie's questioning look and Lou’s answering shake of her head in a ‘not now’ motion.</p><p>“Danni, no judge would rule in favor of the people who abused you. We want to keep you safe, but eventually, we will need you to talk about it.”</p><p>The teen murmured something under her breath. At the Debbie and Lou’s request, she repeated herself, only slightly louder.</p><p>“Yes…it happened, but my answer doesn’t change.” She rushed through the latter part of the sentence before shying away slightly, afraid of how the two women would react. But when she looked at them, she didn’t see judgement or anger, just acceptance and affection. Only one person had ever looked at her with such unguarded affection before, and just the thought of her made the girl’s eyes well up again. This time, unintentionally. She quickly wiped them away, however, hoping that she had been fast enough that Debbie and Lou hadn’t seen them.</p><p>Both women were disappointed that Danni didn’t want to go through with the guardianship transfer, but they weren’t going to go back on their word and force her to do it. They sighed, but dropped the topic, knowing it was the right choice when the girl looked up at them. As she met their gazes, her eyes shone with a growing flicker of trust. She had trusted them enough to acknowledge the abuse without fear of repercussions. She had trusted that they would protect her.</p><p>The moment she had said that one word, ‘yes’, Danni felt like a weight had been lifted from her chest. She had only ever opened up to one other person, and like with her, telling Debbie and Lou made her feel safer, more protected. You can’t fight what you can’t see. Now that they knew, Danni felt confident that if there was only one thing in life that she was sure about, it was that she would never have to go back to her <em>parents</em>. Somehow these two women that she had met only a few days ago, were earning her trust in a way that only one had ever done before.</p><p>The girl was shaken from her musing when a gentle hand was placed on her shoulder. She didn’t flinch away, but couldn’t slow the sudden rapid beating of her heart. Looking up at Lou, she caught the tail end of what she was saying, but couldn’t remember hearing her start talking.</p><p>“—you alright with that?”</p><p>For a moment, Danni could only stare blankly at the woman as she frantically tried to think of what Lou had been saying when she had been zoned out.</p><p>“Uh...sorry,” the teen blushed and ducked her head, “What’d yo—I mean, could you repeat that please?”</p><p>“I said that we were planning to get ice cream to celebrate and is that alright with you.”</p><p>“Oh…I’d love to,” Danni’s eyes were gleaming with excitement, seeming more like a child in that moment than she had in the three days they had known her, “can we get Ben &amp; Jerry’s?”</p><p>“Anything you want. Why don’t you go grab your shoes and meet us by the door. Constance will be coming with us, but everyone else is taking their cars and will meet us there. Sound good?”</p><p>Danni eagerly nodded and jumped out of her seat, heading for the door. She only made it a few steps before she hesitated and turned back around to look at the women still seated on the couch.</p><p>“Debbie, Lou?” They looked at her when they heard their names being called quietly. With their attention on her, she fidgeted for a moment before summoning up the courage to say what she needed to say.</p><p>“Thank you,” their expressions softened, knowing she wasn’t just talking about the ice cream, “can I...nevermind.” Danni quickly cut herself off, dismissing what she had been about to say.</p><p>“What it is?” Debbie gently pressed, seeing the guarded look had returned to the girl’s face. Danni cleared her throat before starting again, her clear embarrassment shining through her otherwise masked face.</p><p>“Can I…have a hug?” At the innocent request, both women felt their hearts break, just a little bit. This was a side of Danni they hadn’t seen yet. All excitement from earlier momentarily forgotten, the girl standing before them looked so young, so broken. Her face was carefully blank, but they could see the hope shining in her eyes. The hopeful light only grew when they stood from the couch and Debbie opened her arms with a soft smile.</p><p>The teen launched herself into Debbie’s arms, relaxing as she felt the woman’s arms encircle her. After a few long moments, Danni pulled away, only to turn to Lou and throw her arms around the taller woman. Stunned, Lou stiffened, unused to receiving such physical affections, but when she felt Danni tense in response and begin to move away, she wrapped her arms around the girl. Danni breathed a sigh of relief, realizing she wasn’t being rejected, and buried her face in Lou’s shoulder and repeated three words to herself. The three words she could never forget as long as she was there. <em>Don't get attached.</em></p><p>With the teen wrapped in her arms, Lou could safely say that she had no idea what she was doing. Taking advantage of the four or five inches she had on the girl, she looked over Danni's head to her wife with a beseeching look in her eye; Debbie always knew what to do next. But her wife just shrugged and smirked, happy to see how the girl had taken to Lou.</p><p>Very pointedly ignoring her wife, Lou ran a careful hand over the girl’s blue-green hair.</p><p>“Danni?”</p><p>
  <em> Don’t get attached.</em>
</p><p>“Danni, can you look at me please?”</p><p>
  <em> Don’t get attached.</em>
</p><p>Danni lifted her head from Lou’s shoulder and leaned away slightly so she could see the taller woman’s face. Lou took in the girl’s red rimmed eyes and warring emotions on her face and knew she was doing the right thing. The girl was craving the closeness, but was afraid of rejection from the people she was just starting to trust.</p><p>“We want you to know that you’re a part of this family. No piece of paper is going to change that. Hell, even if you weren’t Debbie’s biological daughter, we would still want you. After a long discussion about lying first,” at that, Danni huffed out a wry laugh. They would never want her if they found out the truth.</p><p>Debbie moved closer, carefully tucking a misplaced strand of hair behind the girl’s ear as she spoke. “Danni, I made a mistake. It was the worst mistake I have ever made, and I’ve regretted it every day since. But I’m not going to make that mistake again. We will <em>never</em> throw you away.”</p><p>Danni felt her eyes welling up with tears once again and prayed that they were done talking. <em>Don’t get attached.</em> But Lou picked up where Debbie left off.</p><p>“You’re enough, you’re more than enough. Never doubt that.” at the reminder of her earlier words, Danni choked back a sob. <em>Don’t get attached.</em> “These past three days, you have proved yourself to be a part of this family. When you did that, you signed yourself up for two pretty awesome mums, if I do say so myself, and six kinda crazy older sisters. Well, maybe five. Tammy’s more like an aunt,” Lou mused before getting back on track, “Nothing and no one will ever be able to take you away from us.”</p><p>Danni was now quietly sobbing, well versed at doing so silently, but she couldn’t hide her trembling body or the hot tears running down her face. <em>Don’t get attached</em>. <em>Follow the plan.</em> The two women said nothing more, holding her as her sobs died down. When she was finally calm, Danni stepped out of their hold, wiping her eyes with a sleeve, and managed a watery smile.</p><p>“Thank you…again.”</p><p>Like before, Danni still looked so young and so broken, but the two women could see the hope and trust shining in her eyes, brighter than they had ever seen before. Debbie gave her a smile, brushing away her own tears that were threatening to fall.</p><p>“All we said was the truth,” Danni nodded, not trusting her voice. <em>And all I’ve told are lies</em>, “Still up for some ice cream?”</p><p>She nodded again, trying to summon up the same excitement she had felt before, “Of course!” Swallowing back her guilt, Danni tried for the brightest tone she could, honestly not caring if they saw right through it, “I’m just gonna go grab my stuff.”</p><p>Watching her daughter go, Debbie slung an arm around Lou’s waist and leaned against her. With her family finally all together, she knew there was hope, for all of them. They would heal and give each other the family they all deserved.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>let me know what you think! I love getting your feedback whether it's glowing praise or...glowing praise (jk just praise is good too - doesn't have to glow) </p><p> </p><p> constructive criticism is also much appreciated  </p><p> </p><p>:)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Lou teaches Danni something new-ish, and Debbie and Danni have a moment (a long one) before it is disrupted.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>should i just give up on summaries</p><p> </p><p>read end notes for background on their nicknames</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> “You’re a monster!”</p><p>“I am not!”</p><p>“You’re insane!”</p><p>“‘Kay, that’s just rude.”</p><p>“Constance, no one in their right mind puts the milk before the cereal. That’s just not how it works!”</p><p>“You’re wrong.”</p><p>“I’m not!”</p><p>Debbie and Lou watched Danni and Constance bicker over the proper way to eat cereal, wondering since when they had two children in the house.</p><p>Debbie sighed and held a hand up, “No one in their right mind argues about cereal for over ten minutes.”</p><p>“But Debbie—“ the woman in question shot a withering glare at Danni, who just rolled her eyes good-naturedly. Ever since their little heart to heart, Danni had started opening up. While she was still guarded, she didn’t keep a constant blank expression on her face anymore. The teen still preferred being the one to initiate physical contact and shied or flinched away if startled, but, for the most part, she had started acting like any other teenager. She rolled her eyes, practically lived on sarcasm, and had even started helping Constance prank the other members of the team (much to Debbie and Lou’s dismay).</p><p>“Eat your cereal and then go do whatever it is you two do all day.”</p><p>“Yes, <em>mother</em>,” Danni grinned at the look of shock that took over the usually composed woman’s face, “come on Constantine, we’ve got stuff to do.”</p><p>Constance held up a finger as she chugged the rest of her cereal milk, ignoring Danni’s thinly veiled look of disgust.</p><p>“Alright, Dantalion. I’m comin’, I’m comin’.”</p><p>The two left the kitchen together, leaving their empty cereal bowls behind.</p><p>“Wait! Put your—“ Debbie sighed, giving up, and put their bowls in the sink. When she heard her wife chuckling behind her, Debbie spun and hurled a nearby dish towel in her face, “not a word.”</p><p>“What,” her wife protested, still snickering, “it was cute. You were really getting in your mum mode. You should’ve seen your face when she said ‘mother’. Priceless.”</p><p>Debbie rolled her eyes and plopped down in the seat next to Lou, who, sensing the mood change, wrapped an arm around her wife.</p><p>“What’s wrong?”</p><p>Debbie sighed again, leaning into Lou, “I want to be her mom, but she still avoids us. She’s wary around us. She spends all this time with Constance, but it’s like she can hardly stand to be in the same room with us. It’s hard to tell if we’re making progress or not.”</p><p>“We <em>are</em>. We’ve just gotta give it some time. We’re talking 15 years of abuse. It’s going to take more than six days.”</p><p>“I know.”</p><p>Lou had never seen her wife look so defeated. Even when she had been framed and sent to prison, she kept her head up, knowing she would get out and exact her revenge. But in that moment, Debbie felt completely helpless. There was nothing they could do but show Danni that she could trust them. It was up to her whether or not she believed them.</p>
<hr/><p>Like the previous days, Danni and Constance spent much of the day lounging around the house, not actually doing anything, which is what Tammy found them doing when she dropped by.</p><p>Constance was lying on the couch with her legs thrown over the top, scrolling through her phone, while Danni was lying on the floor, sprawled out on her back. Her eyes shut, the only sign she was awake was the occasional tapping to whatever music she was listening to in her headphones.</p><p>Trying to get their attention, Tammy gently cleared her throat, but got no response. She tried again, slightly louder, and Constance greeted her without ever looking up from her phone.</p><p>“Hey Tam Tam.” Constance’s greeting seemed to have gotten Danni’s attention. She opened her eyes, scrambling off the floor the moment she saw Tammy.</p><p>“Tammy,” she acknowledged cooly, trying to pretend that her heart wasn’t racing a mile a minute. <em>Pay attention to what’s around you, idiot.</em></p><p>Suddenly Constance gasped, Danni flinching away, “let’s go swimming!”</p><p>“Where?”</p><p>“Tammy has a pool. And since she’s here and her husband’s on a work trip, the kids have gotta be somewhere else. So it’s open for us. Right, Tammy?”</p><p>Tammy simply nodded and went to go find Debbie and Lou to inform them of the plan.</p><p>“Constance, I don’t even have a swim suit.”</p><p>“Just borrow one from Tammy, you’re only a little bit shorter,” Constance paused as she realized something, “you do know how to swim, don’t you?”</p><p>Danni nodded in defeat; she couldn’t think of any other excuses that Constance would accept. After a few minutes, they were joined by Debbie, Lou, and Tammy who were carrying all the essentials: beach towels, sun hats, sunscreen. Constance quickly ran upstairs to go grab her stuff, but Danni stayed for a moment, not knowing what she would need.</p><p>“Debbie?” The woman turned with a questioning look, “what should I bring? I don’t have a swim suit or anything.”</p><p>“Sandals?” Danni shook her head, “okay, well, you don’t really need to bring anything then. We can get you some stuff if you want, but for now, you’re good.”</p><p>The teen nodded and flopped down on the couch, putting her headphones back on, but keeping a careful eye on the adults so she would know if someone was trying to get her attention. Once Constance came back down, bag in hand, they piled into Tammy’s SUV. As they drove, Danni, like before, stared out the window in complete silence even as Constance talked to her, pointing out random buildings and landmarks. After going to the doctor’s office, they had figured out the best way to make sure the teen was relaxed during car rides was to act as casually as possible. They chatted with one another, not ignoring the girl, but not forcing her into conversation.</p><p>Around half an hour later, they finally arrived in Tammy’s neighborhood. Danni couldn’t help but be shocked by the resemblance it held to where she used to live. When they arrived at Tammy’s house, however, the teen was relieved to see that the resemblance to her house was purely superficial. Unlike the cold, impersonal feel of her house, Tammy’s house felt like a home. One filled with illegally obtained goods, but a home nonetheless. Family pictures covered the walls and children’s toys lay strewn across the floor, giving it a cluttered look that never would have been tolerated in her house.</p><p>“Sorry about the mess,” Tammy nudged a few of her children’s things out of sight with her foot.</p><p>“No, it’s good,” for the first time since hearing they were going swimming, Danni gave a small smile, ignoring the curious looks she was getting. The house looked lived in. It felt like where she used to go to hide; it felt safe.</p>
<hr/><p>Lou watched the girl sitting on the edge of the pool, wearing one of Tammy’s swimsuits under a borrowed shirt. She was idly kicking her legs in the water, but made no other move to join them in the pool.</p><p>Swimming up to the girl, she asked, “aren’t you coming in?”</p><p>When all she received was a noncommittal shrug in response, Lou narrowed her eyes and hopped up to sit next to Danni on the ledge, “you do know how to swim, right?”</p><p>“Of course I do,” she replied defensively, “just…”</p><p>“Just…?”</p><p>“Just…not very well,” she finished in an embarrassed whisper, a faint blush tingeing her cheeks pink.</p><p>“That’s alright; I’ll teach you.”</p><p>The girl’s eyes snapped up from where they were staring at her feet to look at the woman next to her, unsure is she had misheard.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“I’ll teach you. If you want.”</p><p>“Why?” There was no suspicion coloring her tone, only confusion. Just hearing it made Lou’s heart break a little more. The girl was genuinely confused as to why Lou would want to teach her how to swim better.</p><p>“Why not? Come on in,” Lou slid into the water and gestured for the girl to follow. As Danni got in the pool, the water only reaching chest height as they were still in the shallow end, her mind raced through the hundreds of reasons Lou wouldn’t want to help her. But as she thought, she kept going back to one thing. <em>She wants to help me. </em></p><p>“Alright, show me what you got.”</p><p>Danni’s arms wrapped around her torso self-consciously, “I can sorta tread water and do some breaststroke with my head out of the water.”</p><p>“Show me.”</p><p>“Louuu,” she whined, earning a raised eyebrow from the woman in question. Danni never would’ve dared to whine like that with her parents, but as she was quickly learning, Debbie and Lou were about as different from her parents as they could get.</p><p>“Come on, I want to make sure you won’t drown,” inside, Lou was celebrating. She knew how much trust it took for Danni to act like any other teenager, and the fact that she placed that trust was them felt more amazing than she cared to admit.</p><p>Grumbling to herself about how embarrassing it was, Danni swam a clumsy circle around Lou, ending with a mock bow.</p><p>“Was that to your liking, your majesty?”</p><p>Lou just smirked and rolled her eyes, taking the next hour to help Danni perfect her treading water technique and get more comfortable swimming with her head underwater. Around the half hour mark, they were joined by Debbie, who brought them some lemonade and settled down to watch. By the end of the hour, Danni was more confident treading water, but still a little uneasy swimming with her head underwater.</p><p>“Come on, just swim the length of the pool and then we’ll be done.”</p><p>“I don’t know Lou, it’s kinda far.” Danni eyed the length anxiously.</p><p>“Okay,” Lou swam to around the three quarter marker of the pool and held onto the edge of the pool, “just swim to me.”</p><p>“I’m not five,” she snapped in an irritated tone.</p><p>“I never said you were. I know you can do it, but if you don’t want to, just say you don’t want to. You don’t need to take it out on me.” Danni flushed and looked away, embarrassed at being called out so calmly.</p><p>After a moment or two, she got off the ledge she was sitting on, grumbling about how embarrassing it was again.</p><p>She swam to Lou, gaining confidence with each stroke. When she reached Lou, she was greeted with a simple ‘good job’, to which she responded with a shy smile, not accustomed to being praised for such simple things. After getting out of the pool, the teen surprised Lou with a quick hug and a murmured ‘thanks’ before she darted away to check out the snacks.</p><p>Seeing the look on Lou’s face, Debbie sauntered over, pointing a baby carrot at her wife teasingly, “you’re going soft.”</p><p>Lou just scoffed, “look who’s talking.”</p><p>Debbie hummed thoughtfully, musing to herself, “it’s hard not to for her.”</p><p>Not knowing how to respond, Lou simply nodded and stole the carrot away from her wife. They stood for a few moments, just watching the girl look over her options on the snack table, only stopping when they were each hit by a water balloon. They both spun, looking for the culprit, before zeroing in on Constance who was unsuccessfully trying to hide behind a bush. Seeing that she had been found, Constance stood up, water balloons in hand and yelled to Danni.</p><p>“Hey! Dantalion! You’re next!” She accompanied her words with a surprisingly accurate throw at the girl. But Danni ducked and the water balloon soared over her head, hitting Tammy who was peacefully sunbathing on a lounge chair.</p><p>“Really, Constance?” She got up, glaring at Constance, and went inside to gather ammunition they could use against her.</p><p>As Constance hurled more water balloons at the teen, Danni yelped and ran across the patio toward Debbie and Lou. To their surprise, when she reached them she immediately hid behind them, using them as a human shield. As Constance approached, Danni smoothly turned them so that she was mostly protected.</p><p>“Come on, Danni. You can’t hide from me.”</p><p>At her words, the teen poked her head out from behind Lou’s back, “oh no? Pretty sure that’s what I’m doing.” Constance used the new exposure to her advantage and flung a water balloon at Danni, who squeaked and ducked back behind the adults.</p><p>“No headshots!”</p><p>“Quick,” Debbie whispered to her daughter, “she only has one left. Make a run for it.”</p><p>Danni sprinted away, hoping that she could outrun Constance. Purely by luck, Danni stumbled, quite literally (she tripped on some grass), onto Constance’s water balloon stash. Once armed, she popped out from behind the bush and, not having seen Constance sneak up on her, was immediately met with a balloon to the chest. From there it quickly became a water balloon war, ever man for himself.</p><p>By the end of the fight, everyone was exhausted and thoroughly soaked, but Danni couldn’t remember the last time she had so much fun. After each taking a quick shower and changing back into their clothes, Tammy drove them home. To everyone’s surprise, the teen hadn’t completely shut down like she had in previous car rides. She remained withdrawn, but was more willing to talk to them. It was definitely easier to be less afraid of people you were pelting with water balloons not too long before.</p>
<hr/><p>“Hey, Danni? Can I come in?” Debbie knocked gently on the girl’s door. It had been a few hours since the pool excursion and Danni had retreated to her room to rest and recharge.</p><p>“Sure.” She pushed the door open, seeing Danni lying on her stomach in the middle of the bed with a small black journal. She shifted into a sitting position, however, the moment Debbie stepped inside.</p><p>“What are you up to?” Debbie asked as she perched herself on top of the nearby desk, keeping a healthy amount of distance between the two.</p><p>“Not much,” Danni shrugged, casually holding up the journal, “I’ve been trying to draw, but it’s like my brain isn’t working right now.”</p><p>“Oh you draw? You any good?.” She asked with a joking grin.</p><p>Danni gave another half-hearted shrug, “I guess. I mean, in middle school, we had to take either drawing and painting or chorus. And I can’t sing to save, well, anyone’s life, so…” She hesitated for a moment, considering something, before shyly adding, “do you want to see?”</p><p>Jumping at the chance to bond with her daughter, Debbie eagerly agreed. The moment she did, the teen’s face lit up, relieved she hadn’t been rejected like she had been expecting. She made her way over to Debbie and perched next to her on the desk, flipping to the back of the journal.</p><p>“These are really good, Danni.” Debbie tried to keep the surprise out of her tone as the girl flipped through a couple pages of drawings. All done in pencil, some mere doodles, while others covered entire pages with detailed portraits and landscapes.</p><p>She blushed, murmuring her thanks as she flipped through a couple more pages, a small photo slipping out from between the pages. Debbie picked it up off the ground, examining it closely for a moment before handing it back to Danni. It was a good photo, but it was just a selfie of Danni and another girl smiling up at the camera with their arms wrapped around each other in a side hug. Debbie didn’t understand what was so special about it that had Danni reverently tracing her fingers over the glossy photo paper. But before she could ask, Danni told her, closing the journal and giving Debbie a better view of the picture.</p><p>“We took this last year, our first year of high school. My friend, Elle, insisted that we print it out on the “fancy photo paper”, so during the lunch break we snuck into the photo lab and printed it out. I was so afraid we were going to get caught, but she swore we wouldn’t,” Danni sighed wistfully, her thumb brushing over the other girl’s face, “She was always so much braver than I was.”</p><p>“Just a friend?” Debbie asked with a quirked eyebrow. No one talks about just a “friend” the way Danni was.</p><p>“No…but not the way you’re thinking,” Danni flipped the photo over, smiling sadly as she re-read the words on the back before hesitantly handing it to Debbie. The woman took the paper, her heart breaking as she read the short inscription on the back.</p><p>
  <em> To the best big sis in the entire world, </em>
</p><p>
  <em>You’re not alone and you’ll never be alone again. I will always be here for you. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Love you - Elle</em>
</p><p>Debbie wordlessly handed the photo back to the girl, not knowing what she was supposed to do. Luckily, Danni needed no further prompting to continue.</p><p>“We were like sisters and I used to call her 'little sis' ‘cause she’s a couple months younger than I am. Guess it just kinda caught on. She was the one person who made me feel like I was enough. She made me feel like I could just be myself around her. I never thought I would find that again. But then…I met you, and Lou. Even Constance. It just feels right.”</p><p>Debbie met the teen’s tentative smile with one of her own, cautiously wrapping an arm around the girl’s waist. To her surprise, Danni leaned into the embrace, resting her head on Debbie’s shoulder, fueling an already growing feeling deep within the woman. A warm, glowy feeling, not unlike what she felt for Lou. <em>Yeah, this does feel right</em>.</p><p>“I know what you mean. You know, for a really long time, all I had was my brother. But then I met Lou, and then the team, and now you,” But then Debbie realized something, “Danni?” The girl turned to meet her curious gaze, “what happened to your friend. Did you have to leave her behind?”</p><p>Danni shook her head, eyes darkening, “No, she…wait, what day is it today?”</p><p>Debbie blinked at the abrupt topic change, “Thursday…the 19th.”</p><p>“So tomorrow is—“</p><p>“The 20th, yes. Why?”</p><p>Seemingly not hearing the question, Danni paled in horror and, grabbing her journal and photo, roughly shoved Debbie’s arm off. Pacing back and forth in front of her bed, Danni seemed to forget the other woman’s presence in the room as she ran her fingers through her hair, muttering to herself.</p><p>“How could I be so <em>stupid</em>? How could I forget?”</p><p>“Danni?”</p><p>At the sound of her name, the teen suddenly remembered Debbie was still in the room, flinching away.</p><p>“Please leave,” it was hardly more than a whisper, but Debbie heard it as clearly as if it had been spoken normally, the words feeling like a knife to the heart.</p><p>“Danni,” She fought to keep her voice controlled. Flinching again, the girl took a step back before pointing a shaking arm at the door.</p><p>“No. J-just get out. Get out!” Danni’s voice rose to a near yell.</p><p>Debbie looked at her for a long moment, taking in the ragged breathing, shaking hands, and eyes darting around the room, before wisely choosing to reply with a simply ‘okay’ and leaving the room. As soon as Debbie was out of the room, Danni slammed the door shut and slid to the ground with her back pressed against it.</p><p>Looking down at the photo in her hand, she re-read the inscription she knew by heart and finally let the tears that had been welling up spill down her cheeks.</p><p>
  <em> I will always be here for you.</em>
</p><p>The girl scoffed, closing her eyes and putting her head against the door as she replayed the words over and over.</p><p>“You<em> fucking</em> liar,” she whispered harshly to the room. To the person who would never hear her.</p><p>Danni would never hear her laugh or see her bright smile light up a room. She would never see her hands work like magic as they danced from people’s pockets to her own. She would never get to yell and scream at her, because how dare she leave her behind. How dare she leave her all alone in the world. <em>It wasn’t worth it. And now you’re…gone.</em></p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>let me know what you think!</p><p>also does Ocean-Miller sound better than Miller-Ocean cuz i kinda feel like it does</p><p>Constantine - for John Constantine, an occult detective from dc comics (I chose it more for the name than the meaning)<br/>Dantalion - pronounced Dan-tah-lee-on, the 71st demon in the demonological grimoire the Lesser Key of Solomon<br/>it also kinda fits cuz Dantalion is mentioned in "An Experiment to Obtain your Desire", which will make more sense later</p><p> </p><p>:)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>It's not all sunshine and rainbows. AKA Danni has bad coping mechanisms.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After kicking Debbie out, Danni didn’t leave her room for the rest of the day. When she didn’t show up for dinner, Debbie and Lou took some food up for her, but she refused to open the door. Eventually, they gave up trying to convince her to open the door and left the food on the floor in the hallway. But it remained untouched until Lou took it back downstairs the next morning.</p><p>Beginning to get worried, Lou set to work making breakfast. Constance had gone back to her apartment the night before and she and Debbie didn’t usually eat much breakfast, so she was really just cooking for one. Deciding on what seemed to be the girl's favorite, Lou hoped it would lure Danni out of her room. </p><p>With a waffle in hand, she gently knocked on the teen’s door, “Danni? You up?”</p><p>“No, I’m asleep,” Lou chuckled as she heard Danni’s groaned response, slightly less worried now that she knew the girl was still alive and not actively ignoring them.</p><p>“I made waffles.”</p><p>“That’s nice,” came the absentminded reply. Leaning against the door frame, Lou could hear the teen rummaging around the room, clearly looking for something.</p><p>“Do you want one? We've got Nutella and bananas.”</p><p>“No,” Danni replied bluntly, but forever the polite child she had been raised to be, she quickly tacked a ‘thank you’ to the end.</p><p>Lou sighed, still holding the plate in one hand, “Danni, we’re worried about you, love. Don’t shut us out like this, you need to eat.”</p><p>When all sound from within the room ceased, Lou didn’t need to be able to see the girl to know she was standing frozen, staring at the door, unsure how to feel. Danni took almost an entire minute to collect her thoughts before taking a swig from the bottle in her hand and replying. Her voice was cold and emotionless, the complete opposite of the bitter, clashing feelings inside her.</p><p>“It’s not your job to worry about me; you’re not my mother.”</p><p>Lou sighed again. Of course she had inherited Debbie’s stubbornness.</p><p>“Danni—”</p><p>“Fuck off, Lou.” She used the same flat tone, somehow making it hurt even more.</p><p>“Excuse me?”</p><p>“I said. Fuck. Off.”</p><p>“Look, I don’t know what’s going on with you, but we don’t swear at each other. So don’t tell me to fuck off,” as annoyed and confused as Lou was, she tried to keep her tone even.</p><p>Danni just let out a short, mirthless laugh, “when will you get it through your head? You are not my mother, so stop trying to act like it.”</p><p>Lou sighed for the third time in as many minutes, putting the plate she was holding outside the door, and left to go find her wife. Finding Debbie seated at the small desk in their room with her computer, Lou collapsed on the bed. Without looking up from her computer Debbie asked, “How was she?”</p><p>“Angry.”</p><p>“Mhm. What happened?” Debbie asked, somewhat absentmindedly.</p><p>“I took her some breakfast and she told me to fuck off.”</p><p>“What?” Debbie finally turned to look at her wife.</p><p>“She told me to—“</p><p>Waving a hand dismissively, “yeah, I heard you. What did you say?”</p><p>Lou frowned, staring at the ceiling, “I told her we don’t swear at each other.”</p><p>“And?” Debbie made her way over to the bed, taking Lou’s hands in her own.</p><p>“She told me to stop acting like her mother..again. She’s so stubborn. Honestly, she’s like a mini version of you. Almost makes me wonder how I’ve put up with you all these years.”</p><p>Debbie smirked, before adopting a more serious tone, “Because you love me. And now you love her. We’re going to help her, Lou, but we need to wait for her to figure out that she needs it.”</p><p>“I love you.”</p><p>Debbie let out a little chuckle, “sap.”</p><p>“Look who’s talking. You love her too.”</p><p>“I do,” Debbie admitted, “I know I was suspicious at first, and there are still things she’s said that don’t line up. Like she shouldn’t know all the things she does about the heist. She says she talked to John, but he doesn’t know half the things she does. But…I’m willing to give her some time to explain herself because we’ve started seeing the real her. Underneath all those masks, she’s really just a scared little girl. And all I want to do is hold her and show her she doesn’t have to be afraid. We just have to wait for her to let us.”</p><p>“I know,” Lou tugged her wife down until she was lying curled up next to her, “and when she does, we’ll be here.”</p>
<hr/><p>“Hey Debs, when is Danni going to join us?”</p><p>“Maybe next week, she hasn’t come out of her room since yesterday. Now shush and let me focus or you’ll be the next to declare bankruptcy.”</p><p>Constance groaned from her seat on the floor, she was already out of the game, “why do we let you play Monopoly?”</p><p>But before Debbie could answer, they heard a yelp and a loud crash followed by a shocking number of expletives, come from the kitchen. She moved to get up, but was quickly stopped by Amita.</p><p>“I’ll go see what that was. We need a refill on snacks anyway.”</p><p>She made her way to the kitchen, stopping when she saw the source of the noise. Danni was frozen in place, looking guiltily at Amita from where she was crouched on the ground picking shards of glass up off the floor with her bare hands. Wearing an over-sized black t-shirt over running shorts, she looked like she had just gotten out of bed.</p><p>“Danni?”</p><p>“Hey Amita,” Danni drawled, standing up, “whatcha you doin’ here?”</p><p>“What am I doing here? What are <em>you</em> doing here?”</p><p>“I jus’ came to get some water,” she giggled, “water. Wadder. Wahtah. That’s a fun word.”</p><p>Taking in the teen’s disheveled appearance, Amita wrinkled her nose, “are you drunk?”</p><p>“Nope,” she replied popping the “p” aggressively, “I’m super sober. I’m sober as a…” she paused, cocking her head as she tried to remember the expression, “walrus. Yeah that seems right.”</p><p>“Uh huh,” Amita was not convinced. She quickly stepped out of the kitchen and called for Debbie and Lou. The moment they came in, she pointed to the train wreck that was Danni, “she says she’s sober as a walrus,” before leaving them to take care of it.</p><p>“Debbie! Lou! Hiii,” she tried to wave at them, forgetting about the broken glass in her hand and dropped it all on the floor.</p><p>Debbie crossed her arms and fixed her an unimpressed look, “You’re drunk.”</p><p>“Am not! I’m as sober as a—“</p><p>“Walrus, yes we know.”</p><p>“It’s an expression, Debbie!”</p><p>Debbie turned to Lou, who was trying to fight off a smile at the girl’s antics. She gave her a look, but couldn’t stop her own smile. It was hard to keep a straight face when drunk Danni was so adorable. A little dopey, but adorable all the same. Quickly schooling her features to a disappointed look, Debbie turned back to Danni.</p><p>“What do you have behind your back?”</p><p>“Nothiiiiing,” Danni’s voice rose several octaves and she kept her left arm behind her.</p><p>“Show us,” Lou’s voice was firm and Danni turned to her with scowl.</p><p>“Why’re you on her side?”</p><p>“We’re trying to help you,” Debbie stepped forward with an arm reached out, “Give it to me.”</p><p>“Don’t wanna,” the teen grumbled and, forgetting where she was, took a drink of the beer she had been hiding behind her. The beer that Debbie promptly snatched away from her.</p><p>“Heeey. I was drinking that,” she whined.</p><p>“Exactly.”</p><p>Danni moved to grab the bottle, but due to her current lack of coordination, Debbie easily stepped out of reach. Before Danni could accidentally step on a piece of glass trying to chase her, Lou quickly guided the teen to a safer part of the kitchen, helping her sit down at the table. After putting the beer away, Debbie joined them at the table.</p><p>“Why have you been drinking?”</p><p>The girl shrugged and lay her head down on the cool wood of the table, closing her eyes.</p><p>“You can talk to us, Danni.”</p><p>She giggled, “I know, Lou. We all speak English.”</p><p>“You know that’s not what I meant.”</p><p>She sighed and, picking her head up off the table, opened her eyes to look at them. The solemn, grief-filled eyes looked out of place on the girl who had been giggling not two seconds before.</p><p>“I did it ‘cause my heart hurts,” she tapped her chest with a finger, right over where her heart was, “and for a minute, I forgot that it did.” Surprisingly lucid for how drunk she seemed, in that moment, Danni looked absolutely miserable, her eyes shining with unshed tears.</p><p>“Can you tell us why it hurts?” Debbie gently asked.</p><p>“It hurts ‘cause I’m all alone.”</p><p>Debbie and Lou exchanged a look before the former spoke up, “You’re not alone. You have us and Constance and the rest of the team. Now, let’s get you upstairs.”</p><p>“Mhmm. Y-you know what’s funny,” she giggled as the two adults helped her get up and walked her to the door, supporting almost all of her body weight.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“When I left them behind, I thought that it was all gonna go away. But I came here and you an’ Lou aren’t like them at all, but…” she giggled again, “you still scare me. In here,” she tapped her stomach, “and here,” she said, tapping her chest, “Isn’t that funny. It’s like I can’t ever leave ‘em behind.”</p><p>Ignoring the looks from the team as they practically carried Danni to the stairs, Debbie glanced at Lou in concern, “You’re…afraid of us?”</p><p>“Mhm hmm. My brain says not to be, but my heart and my gut say to run far, far away,” she tripped on the first step, “I gotta be careful ‘cause, you know, they weren’t always super mean or always hurting me. Sometimes they were nice, like you guys’re, a-an’ they told me that they loved me and they were proud of me. But then…I wasn’t g-good enough or I did something bad. That’s why it hurt so much. I wasn’t good enough for them to love me, so what makes you any different? I guess I’m just waiting for the other foot to fall.”</p><p>“Shoe to drop?” Debbie didn’t know what else to say. Danni had just opened up in a way she had never done before. She had bared herself to them so matter of factly, it had stunned them into silence for a moment.</p><p>“Maybe…” a little furrow appeared in her brow as she tried to remember the right wording. She didn’t say anything more as they led her to her room. When they reached her room, Lou moved to push the door open, but was stopped by the teen’s little noise in protest.</p><p>“Wait, shouldn’t we knock first?” Growing more tired, Danni was clearly slurring her words together.</p><p>“It’s your room.”</p><p>“Oh, right. Open sesame!” Once they entered her room, Danni flopped down on her bed and curled up with a pillow.</p><p>“Danni,” receiving no response, Debbie tapped the girl on the shoulder, trying to ignore the way she flinched away, “do you have any more alcohol in here?”</p><p>Danni rolled so she was facing Debbie and gave an exaggerated shake of her head, “nope.”</p><p>“Are you lying to me?” Debbie eyed the girl critically.</p><p>“Yep,” Danni’s hands flew to her mouth, “whoops, wasn’t s’posed to say that.”</p><p>“Where?”</p><p>“Bottom o’ dresser,” came the mumbled response. Debbie fished out the half empty bottle of tequila and looked at Lou incredulously. Lou, for her part, just shrugged. Could be worse.</p><p>“Why’d you come downstairs if you had all this left?”</p><p>She shrugged as best she could lying down, “I dunno, ‘cause my stuff wasn’t working anymore so I wanted to try somethin’ else.”</p><p>“Uh huh. Okay, well thank you for being honest…eventually,” giving a little smile at the mumbled ‘no problemo’, Debbie asked, “have you eaten at all today?”</p><p>Grumbling from her place on the bed, “you don’t need to take care of me. You’re not my mom.”</p><p>Debbie squatted so she was at the girl’s eye level, “that’s the thing, Danni. I am your mom. If you don’t want to accept that, I can’t make you. But, as long as you are living here, it is my job to take care of you, okay?”</p><p>“Whatever,” she muttered, “I had a waffle Lou gave me. It was yummy.”</p><p>“I’m glad you liked it, love.”</p><p>“I like that name,” she suddenly declared, “even if it is a big fat lie.”</p><p>“It’s not a lie,” Danni turned to them with a frown, “we do love you.”</p><p>“Oh. Already?” Her frown turned puzzled, but as she continued in a matter of fact tone, it became more disappointed, “I don’t think I can love you. It wouldn’t be fair.”</p><p>“That’s alright, you don’t have to,” both women ignored the crushed feeling inside them and the rising confusion at her words. Danni was in no state to discuss anything that night, “why don’t you try and get some sleep. We’ll talk in the morning.”</p><p>“M’kay,” she yawned and crawled under the covers, “g’night.”</p><p>As she watched them leave, Danni tried to sort through the warm feelings left in her chest. Against her better judgment, she had started to trust Debbie and Lou. No matter what needed to happen, in that moment, they made her feel safe. But with her mind hazy and jumbled from the day of drinking, she quickly gave up, deciding to revisit the topic at a later time.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>let me know what you think!</p><p>if anyone was wondering, the expression is actually "sober as a judge" - don't ask why i chose walrus, it was literally the first thing i thought of</p><p>also i was rewatching ocean's 8 and had a couple of facepalm moments - like when Tammy was talking to April the coordinator lady about Lou and literally said, "she just came here from Australia." Another good one was when i realized i totally could've made Danni the 8 year old girl Debbie was doing the heist for (i mean i guess i needed her to be older and didn't want to write it like it was the future, but idk) </p><p> </p><p>:)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Danni has to deal with the aftermath of the previous night.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I know it's long, but it didn't seem right to split up. You can do it! enjoy</p><p>tw: child abuse</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Danni finally woke up the next day, it was already almost noon. She winced away from the light streaming in through the window and wrapped herself up in the duvet, trying to ignore her pounding headache. But as she lay there with her eyes squeezed tightly shut, her mind flashed through the events of the previous night. Unfortunately, she remembered everything. <em>Shit. </em></p><p>She sat up quickly, intent on fixing her mistakes, and quickly regretted it. Her stomach roiled in protest and she staggered to the bathroom where her stomach worked to reject all the alcohol she had ingested. But having only eaten a waffle the day before, she was left dry heaving into the toilet bowl.</p><p>It was there that Lou found her, lying with her cheek pressed to the cool tile of the bathroom floor, regretting every single choice she had made in the past 24 hours. Lou crouched down, rubbing Danni’s back sympathetically.</p><p>“Feel better?”</p><p>She shrugged.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” she rasped out, her throat feeling like sandpaper.</p><p>Lou waved away her apology, “You don’t need to apologize. An explanation would be nice though.”</p><p>Danni nodded, immediately regretting it as her headache worsened.</p><p>“Good. Downstairs, ten minutes.”</p><p>Once Lou left, Danni took a shower before getting dressed as quickly as she could, which, in her hungover state, was quite slowly. She stumbled downstairs to the sitting area where the entire team was sitting. The lights were dimmed, for her sake she presumed, and when she entered, everyone turned to look at her. Seeing how uncomfortable her friend was, Constance quickly spoke up.</p><p>“Damn Dantalion, you look like hell,” Constance snickered at her own joke, but quickly offered her seat to the hungover girl.</p><p>“Gee thanks, Constance,” she muttered, gratefully taking a seat in the armchair and curling her legs up under her. Once seated, Debbie handed her a glass of water, some painkillers, and a large, fluffy blanket. Not because she was cold, though someone had turned up the air conditioning, but because Debbie knew how much it took for Danni to be vulnerable with them and sometimes it was just easier with something to hide under. Pulling the blanket up around her, she was surprised when a hand suddenly thrust a jar of Nutella at her.</p><p>She took it hesitantly, putting the glass of water down, “What do I do with this?”</p><p>Rose frowned, handing her a spoon, “you eat it.”</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>“Ah, right, well. I eat it when I’m stressed or nervous, and you seemed to like it the other day at breakfast. Also, I know you might not be, erm, entirely comfortable with this, so…”</p><p>“Thank you,” she spoke to everyone for going to such lengths to make sure she was comfortable. She slowly opened the jar and took a scoop, closing her eyes and letting out a little noise of appreciation the moment it hit her tongue. When she opened them, she saw everyone looking at her expectantly. She turned to Debbie with a question in her eyes.</p><p>“Do you want them to go?” Danni shook her head. They’d find out anyway, “You don’t have to do this is you don’t want to.”</p><p>“I know, but I think I need to.” She leaned back in her chair, holding the Nutella to her chest, “So…ask away.”</p><p>“Okay...care to tell us what happened yesterday?”</p><p>“You were all there."</p><p>“No, what I want to know is what drove you to drink half a bottle of tequila and then come down and try to steal a bottle of beer.”</p><p>Danni stared down at the Nutella in her hands and weighed her options. She really only had two, tell the truth (parts of it anyway) or lie. The truth would be easier, but a lie would be safer. Sighing, she chose truth; she was much too hungover to come up with a convincing lie.</p><p>When she finally began speaking, she stared down at her hands, tracing the thin scar on her knuckle. Dropping what was left of her practiced neutral mask, they could hear the pain lacing her voice.</p><p>“Remember that girl I told you about, Debbie?” At her nod, Danni continued, “I met Elle when I was eight. God, she was annoying,” she let out a little laugh, “I was the new kid and she made it her personal goal to be my new best friend. That’s just how she was, I never really understood it. She wore me down and before long we were best friends, just like she said. She was actually the one who taught me how to be a pickpocket. I mean, she was so much better than I ever was, but it never mattered to her. She knew my skills were better suited to…other things. Then, when we were ten-ish, she found out about the-” she sighed, “about my parents.”</p><p>She shoveled a couple spoonfuls of Nutella into her mouth before taking a deep breath, composing herself and distracting herself from her headache that had yet to abate. Above her head, people were sending each other confused looks. She had only told Debbie and Lou about the abuse, though others had their suspicions.</p><p>“Elle was…she was so angry. Angry that it was happening and angry that I wouldn’t let her do anything about it. But she was always there for me. She was there when I came to school with a new bruise or cast. If I missed a day of school, she was there, making sure I didn’t fall behind. She was there every night when she called to make sure I was okay. Elle was there when I had no one else. She was the only person I’ve ever really loved. The only person I’ve ever needed. But she…” Danni knew what she needed to say, but choked on the words.</p><p>She set the Nutella down and wrapped her arms around her knees, taking deep breaths and trying not to cry as she tried to force the memories away.<em> They deserve to know her, even if they don’t know why.</em> The headache was slowly being replaced by the prickling sensation in the back of her eyes. She continued only when she was sure she could say it. The words she had never dared speak aloud.</p><p>“She…she died. A month ago, on June 20th,” she heard the quiet gasps as the people around her put two and two together. No longer able to stop the tears carving a path down her cheeks, Danni forced herself to go on, to finally take responsibility, “a-and, it was my fault. The only person who has ever cared about me, who has ever loved me, is dead because of me.”</p><p>“Danni,” Debbie breathed out. She could see the guilt coursing through the girl. Guilt she was sure Danni didn’t deserve.</p><p>Her voice breaking, Danni told them what they needed to know for her sake as much as theirs, “She died because of me. She would be alive and well,” <em>and here</em>, “if I hadn’t’ve been so weak.”</p><p>At her words, Lou wanted nothing more than to gather the girl up in her arms, but saw the determination in her tear-filled eyes. She needed to go on.</p><p>“I called her in the middle of the night, crying, because I didn’t know what to do. I was so scared my dad would come back to finish what he started and my mom wouldn’t be able or willing to stop him a second time,” she pushed the blanket off of her and lifted the hem of her shirt, exposing a thick scar, almost four inches long, that stretched diagonally across the bottom of her left ribcage.</p><p>She didn’t wait for their reactions, “Elle, she told me she was coming and we were going to leave, just like we planned. So I waited. I waited for hours, just sitting with my packed bags and staring at the clock. But she never arrived,” she closed her eyes as her voice broke again, “I only found out the next day. Hit-and-run. She was on her bike; she never stood a chance.”</p><p>She didn’t speak for a few moments, sobs wracking her body. Even Debbie felt tears come to her eyes as Danni poured her pain and anger and guilt into her words. No one quite knew what to do. But Danni needed no pity or further prompting, determined to finish.</p><p>“What happened yesterday is because every day I wake up and she’s the first thing on my mind,” <em>she’s the reason I’m doing this</em>, “but one morning, I forgot. The first thing I thought of was if we had run out of that cereal I like. And then when I told you about her, Debbie, after having such a…good day, it hit me. How dare I have this life,” <em>the life she deserved</em>, “when I ruined hers. When I <em>ended</em> hers. Elle cared about me when no one else did. She made me feel safe. She was my home. And now that’s all gone because I wasn’t strong enough.”</p><p>Hearing her daughter sound so broken and alone was too much for Debbie. She stood, crossed the distance between them in a few long strides and gathered the girl into her arms. Danni stiffened at first, but then relaxed and clutched Debbie as if she was going to disappear the moment she loosened her grip.</p><p>The other members took that as their cue to leave, quietly moving to a different part of the house, leaving Debbie and Lou to pick up the broken pieces of the girl and put her back together. They knew they wouldn’t have been kicked out, but Danni needed Debbie and Lou. She would have plenty of time for the rest of them later.</p><p>“Danni, I need you to listen to me,” Debbie spoke in a low, but firm voice that brooked no arguments. The girl nodded shakily, her sobs turning silent, “you are not weak, and it was not your fault.”</p><p>“I never even got to say goodbye,” her whispered reply was muffled by Debbie’s shoulder.</p><p>“I’m sure she knew how much you loved her. But Danni, you need to understand that it wasn’t your fault, let go of your guilt.”</p><p>But Danni just curled in on herself, shaking her head as she whimpered her answer.</p><p>“I can’t.”</p><p>“Hey,” Danni turned to look at Lou, “you <em>can</em>. Just think. What would she want you to do?”</p><p><em>Finish the job. Be happy.</em> “To never forget her,” she whispered. She leaned further into Debbie, feeling Lou come to rub her back reassuringly, much like she had earlier that morning. Debbie led her daughter over to the couch and sat her down in between them. Releasing her hold on Debbie, Danni pulled her legs up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. As she sat there, the teen stared ahead, avoiding the women’s gazes, but secretly craving the closeness.</p><p>After a few long moments, Debbie spoke up, “Danni, she would want you to be happy, wouldn’t she?” She waited for the girl’s nod, “just because she wasn’t the first thing you thought of, doesn’t mean you’re forgetting her. It just means that you’re healing.”</p><p><em>I don’t want to</em>. Danni nodded as she stared blankly at the floor.</p><p>“Can you tell us more about that night? About what he did to you?”</p><p>“Why?” Danni whispered her question, looking up at Lou.</p><p>She brushed a hair out of the girl’s face with a wicked smile.</p><p>“So we know exactly how we’re going to make him pay.”</p><p>Danni gave them a wry smile, shaking her head as she answered, “You have to promise me you won’t try anything. Leaving them was enough.” <em>It has to have been enough. </em></p><p>“Fine.”</p><p>Satisfied with Lou’s disgruntled reply, Danni returned her gaze to the floor. When she finally spoke, her voice was quiet, but steady.</p><hr/><p>
  <em>Danni slipped in the house through the front door, hoping to attract as little attention as possible. Quietly toeing off her shoes, she left them neatly lined up by the door. She quickly crept down the hallway to the staircase, passing the darkened living room without a second thought.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> But from that darkened room, came a voice. Hearing her father call to her, the teen froze before stepping into the living room and turning on the light with a faux smile painted across her face.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Where’ve you been?” He snarled at her. With the lights on, her smile dropped as she took in the empty beer bottles scattered on the floor around him and the whiskey in his hand, “I said…Where. Have. You. Been.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>He stood, taking a swig from the bottle he held, and advanced on her. He wasn’t a large man, not much taller than the average weight, but combined with his muscled build, he cut a fearsome figure. She took a step back, keeping her gaze down as she replied in that meek tone she only used with her parents. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I’m sorry, I had practice, it ran a little late and I had to shower there.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“A little late, huh?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Yes, sir.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“And you didn’t think to tell us?” His voice rose to a shout.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> On any other day, Danni’s father was her preferred parent. He was by no means warm or kind, but compared to her mother’s cold, cruel approach to childrearing, he was a welcome relief. He didn’t attempt to control her every move or spit vitriol in her face the moment she failed to reach their outrageous expectations. No, for the most part, he simply ignored her and that was more than alright with Danni. But when he drank, he exchanged indifference for violence and unpredictability.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> When Danni took a moment too long to reply, he roared, “are you deaf as you are stupid?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Grabbing her roughly by the arm, he dragged her further into the room.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Sorry, my phone ran out of battery…sir,” she fought to keep her voice as submissive as possible against the growing panic. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Y’know,” he began, stumbling slightly as he walked into the corner of the sofa, “your mother and me, I thought we did a good job raisin’ you, but then I see this.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>He shoved his phone in her face, showing her a blurry picture of her and Elle walking hand in hand across the street. And before she could even think to protest, Elle was like a sister to her, he continued, clumsily putting his phone back in his pocket.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> “I had no idea we were raising a fuckin’ dyke!” He bellowed at her, getting his face so close to his daughter’s that she could smell his rancid breath emanating from him with every word.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> “N-no, Dad, I-I’m not. I swear,” she forced the words out, trying to edge away from him. When she finally had a clear shot at the door, she made a break for safety. But only a few steps away from the door, she was suddenly jerked back by the back of her shirt as her father lunged at her. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Where d’you think you’re going?” He growled at her, shoving her to the ground before reaching for one of the empty bottles on the floor and smashing it against a nearby table to make a jagged edge, “if your heart’s not gonna work properly, then y’don’t need it.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Still on the floor, Danni eyed the bottle in his hand as she quickly tried to back away. But with a speed that belied his level of intoxication, he pinned her down, pressing her face into the carpet with one hand while pressing the broken bottle to her midriff with the other. Her breath quickening as she realized what he meant, Danni unwisely fought to get out of his hold, but to no avail. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>When she was younger, Danni had learned to make as little sound as possible when she was in pain. But as her father slowly dragged the bottle’s jagged edge across her ribcage, intent on carving his daughter’s heart out, Danni screamed and cried and begged for him to stop. But he didn’t stop. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Not until her mother made her presence known, her cool tone cutting through the screams, “What the hell is going on here?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Having been pulled from her study by the screams coming from the first floor, Danni’s mother took in the sight before her. Her husband was crouched over their sobbing daughter, digging a broken bottle into her stomach. Wrinkling her nose in displeasure as she noticed the blood soaking into their very expensive carpet, she told her husband to get off the floor before doing the same with their daughter. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Danni rose shakily, whimpering from the pain as she kept her hands firmly over the wound in an attempt to staunch the bleeding. Her sobs died down and she quickly brushed away any remaining tears as she faced her mother.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Come,” her mother sent her a pointed look as she snapped out the command. Danni slowly followed her, gritting her teeth in pain with every step, up the stairs, to the master bathroom where her mother sat her down on the closed toilet seat and pulled out the first aid kit. Peeling Danni’s shirt back, her mother examined the wound before pulling on gloves to begin cleaning it. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“What did you do?” Her mother spoke conversationally, but Danni could see her cold, calculating eyes watching her. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Жао ми је, мама,” Danni spoke softly, trying to appeal to her mother’s softer side with her mother tongue. But her expression didn’t change. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Answer the question, my shining star,” Danni whimpered as her mother paused, roughly pressing her fingers into the wound, her voice sickly sweet. The nickname itself was a blow as well. It was a reminder of what was expected of her. And what would happen should she fail.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> Danni knew saying ‘nothing’ wasn’t an option, it would always be her fault. When she began to speak, her mother removed her fingers from the wound.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> “I was walking with Elle and…” she paled when she saw her mother pull out a needle, “are you sure I need stitches?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Are you questioning me?” Danni paled even further at her mother’s low, dangerous tone and the addition of her full name to the end of the question, frantically shaking her head as she tried to backtrack.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> “N-no, of course not. Y-you know best.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Don’t forget it,” her dark eyes bored into her daughter as she gestured impatiently for Danni to continue her explanation. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I was walking with Elle and we were holding hands, so he thought I was gay, and…” she looked over her mother’s shoulder as she began neatly stitching up the wound, unable to watch. She clenched her teeth, willing the tears away as her mother conveniently forgot about the tube of numbing cream Danni knew was in the kit. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“You’re not, are you?” Her mother’s eyes narrowed as she stared at the teen before expertly bandaging the stitched wound. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“No, ma’am,” Danni replied quietly, shaking her head. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“And how many more times must I tell you I don’t approve of that girl?" </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Danni didn’t answer, hoping it had been a rhetorical question. Biting her lip, she was unable to stop the tears from leaking down her face. Every breath she took felt like a dagger to the chest, but at least she wasn’t bleeding out anymore. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Scoffing with derision, her mother packed up the first aid kit before telling her daughter sharply, “don’t cry, you’re not a baby,” she looked Danni up and down disdainfully, “God, how are you my daughter? Now, go to your room and do not break the stitches. Understood?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em> Danni replied with a quiet ‘yes, ma’am, thank you”, getting up with a grimace of pain and hobbled down the hallway to her room. She carefully changed her clothes, thankful she had already showered, and eased herself onto the bed. Pulling out her phone, she dialed the only person she wanted to talk to. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Elle?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Finally in the safety of her room, Danni allowed herself to break down. Muffling her sobs with a pillow and ignoring the sharp pain in her side, she let herself relax, reassured in the knowledge that she would be leaving soon. Elle was coming to get her.</em>
</p><hr/><p>After she finished, skimming over the parts with her mother in them, they sat in silence for a few minutes. Danni scrubbed at her face with her hands, trying to force the memory out of her head, but her efforts were futile. That night would forever be imprinted in her mind.</p><p>Forcing herself to relax and accept the comfort she knew she wanted, Danni leaned into the back of the couch and rested her head on Lou’s shoulder. The fact that she was craving the closeness didn’t stop the deeply ingrained fear responses from being triggered. Her heartbeat quickened and her hands began to shake as she absentmindedly rubbed the scar on her hand.</p><p>The moment Danni rested her head on Lou, the older woman felt what she assumed were her maternal instincts flare up. All she wanted to do was hold Danni and shield her from a world that had taught her of pain and fear. She knew Danni was strong enough without them, she had been brave enough to learn how to trust again, maybe even love again. But it didn’t stop her from wanting to protect her from the bad hand she had been dealt in life.</p><p>“I’ll kill them.”</p><p>At Lou’s vehement tone, Danni tilted her head to look up at her with frightened, dark eyes, a furrow appearing on her brow, “but, you promised.”</p><p>Emotionally taxed, the vulnerability she felt shone through her voice.</p><p>Sighing, Lou wrapped an arm around the girl at her side. “I know…I won’t do anything. I don’t like it, but we’re not going to lie to you.”</p><p>Danni nodded, seeming not entirely convinced, but lapsed back into silence. Lou glanced at her wife, who was regarding Danni with a thoughtful expression. Raising an eyebrow in question, the only response Lou received was Debbie’s discreet shake of her head, ‘wait’.</p><p>“Danni, you don’t have a problem with us, right?”</p><p>“Because you’re gay?” While at first she furrowed her brow in confusion, after a moment, she realized why Debbie would come to that conclusion. Seeing her nod of assent, Danni continued, shaking her head, “no, I learned not to believe basically anything they said when I was a lot younger.” <em>It’s how I learned to lie so well. </em></p><p>“Good…that’s good,” she mused to herself, trailing off in thought. After a moment, she stood abruptly. When she returned shortly after, she placed a sheet of paper and a pen on the coffee table in front of them.</p><p>“What’s that for?”</p><p>“You’ll see,” Danni sighed at the woman’s non answer, but quickly forgot about it as she saw Debbie writing on the paper with her left hand.</p><p>“You’re left handed?”</p><p>With a faint smile on her lips, Debbie echoed her daughter’s response from some days before, “ambidextrous.”</p><p><em>How could we not know?</em> Interest piqued, Danni couldn’t help but voice her question, “naturally?”</p><p>“No,” Debbie slid the paper towards the teen. Without looking at the paper in front of her, Danni regarded Debbie for a moment before replying with a sad smile.</p><p>“Me neither.”</p><p>But before they could delve deeper into the matter, Danni turned her attention to the paper in front of her. Reading the header, she sighed in resignation, ‘house rules’.</p><p>“I think this will help us,” Danni opened her mouth to argue or question the statement, but when Debbie held up a finger, she quickly snapped it shut, fear sparking in her eyes. Silently cursing herself for inadvertently causing such a reaction, Debbie continued, “last night, you said you were still scared of us, so maybe having some ground rules will help. They could help you trust us more.”</p><p>Danni tried not to let her confusion show. Having some ground rules would help? It didn’t make much sense to her, rules had only ever been restrictive and controlling, but she was curious to see what Debbie meant.</p><p>Seeing that the teen would need a bit more convincing to be fully onboard with the idea, Debbie wrote down the first rule before passing the sheet to Lou. <em>No lying to each other.</em> Lou removed her arm from around Danni’s shoulders and wrote down what she knew both Debbie and Danni needed to face. <em>Talk if you need to (DO NOT drink or hurt yourself to deal with problems).</em></p><p>With a pointed look at both her wife and the teen, Lou pushed the paper to Danni who, reading it, blushed and muttered under her breath, “it was a one time thing”.</p><p>“Good. And the other part?” Danni could feel Lou’s gaze burning into her, but refused to look at her.</p><p>“I-I don’t…I don’t know what you’re talking about.”</p><p>“Your knuckles are still bruised,” Debbie made the quiet observation, watching the girl’s reaction.</p><p>“I slipped, remember?” Her tone was bordering on angry, unacceptable had she been speaking to her parents. But then again, as she was reminded every single day, Debbie and Lou were just about the furthest thing from her parents. Her parents had never sat her down with a fluffy blanket and a jar of Nutella to talk. They had never wanted to protect her, not the way Debbie and Lou claimed to.</p><p>Debbie handed her the sheet of paper and tapped the first rule, “we’re not going to lie to you and we would…appreciate it if you didn’t lie to us. These will apply to all of us. Why don’t you add one.”</p><p>Danni almost scoffed in response. <em>It’s all a lie</em>. But, she kept her mouth shut, nodding mutely. After a moment, she set the paper down, picked up the pen, and neatly printed the third rule. <em>Respect people’s privacy.</em></p><p>Wincing a little, the two women did have to admit it was deserved. They were prying. But only because, in the week they had known Danni, she had quickly wormed her way into their hearts in a way they hadn’t thought was possible.</p><p>However, the girl in question was standing up, intent on leaving before she said something she’d regret.</p><p>“Wait,” Debbie stood, and although she spoke softly, Danni froze and after only a moment of hesitation turned to look at her, “before you go, I need to…apologize.”</p><p>“For what?”</p><p>“I left you with those people.”</p><p><em>You didn’t.</em> “It’s not your fault.” Her words, though meant to be reassuring, came out dismissive.</p><p>“It <em>is</em>. I don’t know how I could’ve been so wrong about them and I’m sorry you had to pay for that.” Not exactly accustomed to apologizing, Debbie watched her daughter's reaction anxiously, unsure if it would be accepted.</p><p><em> You weren’t wrong</em>. “It’s fine,” came the terse reply.</p><p>“It’s okay to be mad,” Danni felt Debbie scrutinizing her as she waited for an answer. <em>Let’s just get this over with.</em></p><p>“I’m not mad,” <em>about this anyway</em>, “last night, when I said I couldn’t love you, I just-,” she sighed, “it feels too much like I would be replacing her. But, you make me feel…safe,” <em>like she did</em>, “You don’t just say you love me, you act like it. And that’s enough…for me, at least.”</p><p>Though Danni didn’t say anything, Debbie could read the question in her eyes.</p><p>“It’s enough,” she echoed the girl’s words with a small smile on her lips.</p><p>At Danni’s tentative smile, Lou stood and swept the girl into a hug, overjoyed when Danni didn’t hesitate to reciprocate. Looking at her wife, Lou held an arm out until Debbie, not one for group hugs, grudgingly allowed herself to enfolded into the embrace.</p><p>Standing there wrapped up in their arms, Danni repeated the mantra she had committed to heart, but it was already too late. <em>Don’t get attached.</em> Because standing there, sandwiched between the two women felt right. It didn’t feel restrictive or like a trap. It felt like something she never thought she would have again.</p><p>It felt like home.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Let me know what you thought of the chapter</p><p>Жао ми је, мама - I'm sorry, mom.<br/>google told me to use this "sorry" if about an action, but if it's wrong, feel free to let me know and I'll fix it. </p><p>btw, I'm not trying to use the language and the abuse to reflect badly on people who speak it, I just needed this specific language for reasons that'll come up later</p><p> </p><p>:)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A party is thrown and an unexpected word is said.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A month passed. Like with all months, there were good days and there were bad days. There were game nights and movie nights spent with her new family. Days spent learning how to cook and pull off heists. There were lessons on hacking and jewelry making with her psuedo-siblings. Those were the days of laughter and joy, when she could almost forget why she hurt and feel alive again.</p><p>But then there were the sleepless nights, the nights she spent curled up in the corner of her room, staring blankly into the shadows until she passed out from exhaustion. There were the days when every little thing seemed to set her off and she would hide, refusing to leave her room except for the meals left outside her door.</p><p>Every time she felt like she was moving forward, healing, she took a step back. Well, it wasn’t always so much of a step as she was dragged backwards, kicking and screaming into the dark recesses of her mind, a prison she had no hope of escaping. Until she was reminded again and again, that she was not alone. She had a family. And every day, through the good and the bad, they stood behind her, helping her forward and catching her when she fell.</p><p>Eventually, as the month progressed, the steps backward became fewer and further in-between until she felt almost normal again. Though she never said anything, she knew she would never heal completely. She would always be marked by her pain and it would never scar. But so long as she didn’t pick at the scab, she knew she could…live…again.</p><hr/><p>“Danni!”</p><p>Hearing her name being called from the other side of the door, Danni groaned and rolled over in her bed with her face pressed to a pillow.</p><p>“Danni!” Constance rapped impatiently on the door, waiting for her friend to respond. After a moment, she heard a loud thud followed by a yelp, “Hey! You up?”</p><p>With a sigh, Danni picked herself up off the floor and staggered to the door, rubbing sleep out of her eyes. After opening the door, Danni scowled at her unapologetic friend while using the meager few inches she had on Constance to tower over her threateningly.</p><p>“What do you want?”</p><p>Unfortunately the oversized sleep shirt that read ‘Running…sometimes we all need a little motivation’ followed by a picture of a dinosaur chasing a person drastically lessened the effect. That combined with the way she was squinting angrily as her eyes adjusted to the light really sealed the deal.</p><p>“Finally, you sleep like the dead!”</p><p>“What’re you talking about, Constance?” She rubbed at her eyes blearily.</p><p>“Dude, it’s almost 10:00. I’ve been waiting forever,” Constance groaned dramatically, dangling a watch in front of Danni’s face.</p><p>A little wrinkle appeared in her brow as she checked the time, “I slept in?”</p><p>“You always sleep in. I’ve literally never seen you up before 9:00.”</p><p>It was true; Danni never left her room before 9 am. But she was always awake hours before, even after a sleepless night. Early morning when everyone thought she was asleep was one of the best times to get things done.</p><p>And even when there was nothing she needed to do, those few hours every morning were hers. She was free to be whoever she wanted. She wasn’t just the broken girl with the tragic past, that, when they thought she couldn’t see, people looked at with pity and worry in their eyes, afraid that, one wrong move and she would shatter. They had no idea how right they were, but as it had been drilled into her time and time again; pity was for the weak, and that was something she couldn’t afford to be.</p><p>Elle had understood. Elle had always understood. And being alone with Elle had almost been as good as being alone. Almost. Even Elle was too much sometimes, overcome with anger as she was, she could become blind to everything else around her, unaware of the pain she was inflicting.</p><p>When it all became too much, when she was tired of being a pawn in everyone else’s games, she always had those few hours in the morning when she was alone and nothing else mattered. She could sit, curled up by the window, watching the sun rise above the horizon and pretend, just for a minute, that everything was okay. Even when it wasn’t okay.</p><p>It was never okay.</p><p>“Hey Danni,” Constance waved her hand in front of the girl’s face, “you good?”</p><p>“Fine,” she said with a tight smile, not entirely sure who she was trying to convince more.</p><p>But Constance just looked at her knowingly, “rough night?”</p><p>“I’m fine,” Danni responded firmly, hoping Constance would get the hint and drop it. Luckily for her, Constance just shrugged, moving on.</p><p>“M’kay. Seriously though, hurry up and get dressed; we’re going out.”</p><p>“We are?”</p><p>“Uh, yeah, I told you a while ago that I was gonna teach you to board.”</p><p>“A skateboard, right?”</p><p>“Duh,” Constance shoved Danni into her room and made flapping motions with her hands, “now go! And brush your teeth, no one wants to smell your morning breath.”</p><p>Danni sighed in defeat and made her way to the little bathroom connected to her room, flipping Constance off the entire way. As she heard the door closing, she turned back for a moment with a smirk.</p><p>“Hey, Constantine,” she waited until Constance poked her head around the door, “you might want to give Lou her watch back.”</p><p>When she finally joined Constance downstairs, Constance gave her a once over before deeming her ensemble acceptable for skateboarding. With her hair pulled back into a french-braid, the dark roots just beginning to show, Danni was wearing a simple grey t-shirt with cute species names on it over jean shorts. Just as they were leaving, Danni suddenly remembered something and blurted out, “wait!”</p><p>Constance paused and raised her eyebrows in question.</p><p>“Uh, I don’t have a metro card,” she mumbled self-consciously.</p><p>“You don’t have a metro card?” Danni nodded, “what’re you, a tourist?”</p><p>Danni let out a little laugh, “yeah, Constance, I am. You know this is my first time in New York City, right?”</p><p>“Oh. Kay, gimme a sec,” she poked her head in the kitchen, calling for Debbie, “hey, Debbie! Can I have 20 bucks?”</p><p>Debbie came out of the kitchen, dusting something that looked suspiciously like flour off her hands, and looked at Constance incredulously, “we put over $38 million into your bank account and you’re asking me for 20 bucks?”</p><p>“Danni doesn’t have a metro card.”</p><p>“Oh? She doesn’t?”</p><p>“No, she doesn’t,” Danni cut in, “and she also hasn’t had breakfast so if you’ll excuse me.”</p><p>She tried to get to the kitchen, but was quickly prevented from doing so by Debbie who was standing the doorway, conveniently blocking her view of anything inside the room. “Why don’t you guys go eat at Starbucks or something?”</p><p>“Yeah, that sounds good, right Danni?” Constance tried to pull Danni away but was shaken off. Danni crossed her arms, looking at Debbie suspiciously, “if you’re not going to let me in the kitchen, can you at least get me my croissant?”</p><p>Keeping an eye on her daughter, Debbie called to Lou over her shoulder. She came over, wiping her hands on a dish towel, and passed Danni a little paper bag with her croissant in it. Seeing the girl’s shirt, she frowned in confusion, “what’s a boople snoot?”</p><p>“A bunny,” she replied with a ‘duh’ expression, gesturing at the picture on her shirt. With her croissant in hand, she waited expectantly, looking for an answer. But she was met with two identical innocent expressions as Debbie pressed a 20 dollar bill into her hand.</p><p>“Good?”</p><p>“Yeah…” she sighed and rejoined Constance.</p><p>As they left, she heard Debbie call out behind them, “don’t die!”</p><p>She turned with a crooked grin, suspicions momentarily forgotten, giving them a two fingered salute, “aye aye captain.”</p><p>Rolling her eyes, Debbie made sure Danni and Constance had left the loft before going back to “help” Lou in the kitchen.</p><p>“What can I do?” Debbie asked her wife.</p><p>Lou gave her a look before pointing at the kitchen table, “sit there and don’t touch anything.”</p><p>“There’s nothing you need help with?”</p><p>“We want it to be edible by the time they’re back, Debs.”</p><p>Debbie leaned back in her chair, mock pouting at her wife, “aw, baby, I’m hurt. Have a little faith.”</p><p>Lou rolled her eyes, “I’ve seen you burn water before.”</p><p>“You know that’s impossible.”</p><p>“And yet, you did it anyway,” Lou closed the oven door with a snap, “you’re a woman of miracles, Deborah Ocean-Miller.”</p><p>“Yeah, well I married you, didn’t I?”</p><p>“Is that a compliment or an insult?”</p><p>Debbie shrugged, “you can choose.”</p><p>Rolling her eyes, Lou chucked a dish towel at her wife, “here’s something you can do. Clean the kitchen.”</p><p>“What am I, your housewife?” Debbie raised an eyebrow, challenging her wife.</p><p>“You’re impossible is what you are.”</p><p>“You love me.”</p><p>“I love you.”</p><p>“Aw,” Debbie pulled Lou close to her, pressing a kiss to her lips, “I love you too, baby.”</p><p>“Now get to work,” Lou pulled back and looked at her with a mock serious expression on her face, “they’re not going to be gone for long.”</p><p>With minimal distractions and some help from Tammy when she finally arrived, they were able to get the ground floor of the loft spotless and ready for Danni’s surprise.</p><hr/><p>When Constance and Danni finally returned, the house was ready. Danni stepped inside first, looking a good deal more disheveled than she had when she had left and quite sure she had bruises covering her body because apparently Constance didn’t ‘believe in protective padding’. She stopped, looking in awe at the the decorations filling the loft. Streamers and balloons filled the space with color and a banner hung near the stairs that read, ‘Happy late birthday/1 month anniversary with the heist fam, Danni!’.</p><p>“Heist fam?”</p><p>Debbie made her way over to her, “mhm, whose idea do you think that was?”</p><p>Danni looked at Constance who had entered behind her with a raised eyebrow, but Constance just shrugged, what else was she supposed to do.</p><p>Turning back to Debbie, she asked, “why’d you do all this?”</p><p>“You’ve been living with us for a month, and we didn’t really get a chance to celebrate your birthday, so we thought it’d be fun. Do you like it?”</p><p>Danni looked around her again, seeing all the people who had come to celebrate with her and a bright smile lit up her face, “I love it.”</p><p>“Good,” though she didn’t show it, Debbie was relieved. For a moment, she had thought Danni would reject the idea entirely, “come on, let’s go see the cake.”</p><p>After receiving a hug from everyone, Danni followed Debbie into the kitchen where Lou was putting the final touches on the cake. When she saw the cake, the girl audibly gasped. The frosting was an ombre, from white to an orange-pink, to pink, much like the sunrises she would get up to see and the top had the same message as the banner on the stairs.</p><p>“Danni!” Lou greeted her with a quick hug, “what do you think?”</p><p>“It’s really pretty. What’s inside?”</p><p>“It’s vanilla with raspberry in-between the layers and cream cheese frosting.”</p><p>Danni stared at her, her mouth slightly agape, “you remembered.”</p><p>At one of their game nights, she had introduced the game, ‘just a minute’, where each person is given a topic and must talk about it non-stop for a minute, even if they don’t know anything about it. Danni had been told to describe her dream cake. And there it was.</p><p>“I-I…thank you,” she smiled, more than a little overwhelmed.</p><p>“Don’t worry Danni, Mom Two made the cake; you can eat it,” Constance smirked at her friend.</p><p>“Hold on. What?” Lou had a confused and slightly indignant look on her face.</p><p>“Yeah, I make perfectly good pancakes,” Debbie chimed in, sick of everyone saying she couldn’t cook. To be fair, she really couldn’t, but that wasn’t the point.</p><p>“No, we all know you can’t cook. Why am I Mum Two?”</p><p>“Are you kidding? We all know who wears the pants in your relationship,” Constance waggled her eyebrows at the two.</p><p>“Uh, yeah, <em>I</em> do.”</p><p>“It’s true,” Daphne cut in with a smirk, looking Lou up and down appreciatively, “Lou’s very…daddy.”</p><p>Danni choked on her water, going red in the face for more than one reason. No one wants to think of their parents like that. <em>Not my parents—just Debbie and Lou.</em></p><p>“Alright, maybe we could not talk about that in front of the 15 year old, <em>Daphne</em>,” Debbie sent a warning look at Daphne who held her hands up in mock surrender.</p><p>“Just saying what everyone else is thinking.”</p><p>“<em>Daphne!</em>”</p><p>Constance raised a hand, “I wasn’t.”</p><p>“Okay,” Debbie started briskly, “I’m bad at cooking and Lou’s Mom Two,” she let out an amused sigh, “let’s just leave it at that.”</p><p>Walking over to her daughter, she took the glass from her and patted her on the back. When the coughing subsided, Danni gratefully took the glass back.</p><p>“Thanks, Mom. I think I might've died if that went on any longer,” she said, talking about more than just her coughing fit.</p><p>That word, the one Debbie had given up all hope of ever hearing, came out of the girl’s mouth so casually that Debbie was stunned into silence. She half hoped no one else had heard it, but they did and a hush descended over the room. All eyes pointed to Danni who paled in horror when she realized what she had said.</p><p>The next few seconds felt like they were in slow motion, the glass slipped from her hand, shattering into a million pieces on the floor, and Danni backed away muttering apologies. When she reached the doorway, she turned and bolted, taking the stairs two at a time as she ran to her room.</p><p>After a moment, Debbie followed after her, but Lou hung back, not wanting to get between the two. She quickly changed her mind, however, when Debbie suddenly paused and gave her a pleading look. Debbie never pleaded, but she needed her wife with her. In her mind, Lou had already proven to be a better parent than Debbie could; dealing with feelings really wasn’t her strong suit.</p><p>They knocked on Danni’s door, only pushing it open when they heard a quiet ‘come in’. Danni was packing her bags, putting her clothes in the duffle she had brought and the more important items, like her journal, in her backpack. Almost done, the room looked completely empty, as if she had never been there.</p><p>“What are you doing?” Lou frowned, taking in the almost empty room.</p><p>Danni stared at Lou with a quizzical look on her face, she had thought it was obvious, “packing?”</p><p>“Clearly,” Debbie watched the girl, noticing the way she tensed up when she saw Debbie. The way her eyes were darting in-between the women and the door, as if planning her escape. Debbie stepped to the side and discreetly motioned for Lou to do the same, leaving the path to the door open. She didn’t fail to notice the girl lose a fraction of her tenseness, but remain alert and ready, watching them with a calculated look in her eyes.</p><p>The girl turned to Debbie and began spewing apologies so quickly they were practically unintelligible.</p><p>“Slow down,” Debbie kept her voice low, trying not to seem too commanding. When she stopped talking, Debbie nodded, “good. Breathe…what were you saying?”</p><p>Danni took a deep, shuddering breath and stared at the ground, “I’m really sorry, Debbie. I didn’t—I mean, it just slipped out.”</p><p>“Is that why you’re leaving?”</p><p>She nodded, her cheeks burning with shame, “you never wanted a kid, right? That’s why you gave me away.”</p><p>“No, I never wanted a kid,” Debbie moved to her daughter and gently lifted her chin, seeing the girl’s dark eyes, the ones so similar to her own, shining with unshed tears, “but I <em>always</em> wanted you. Do you understand me? I thought I was giving you a chance at a better life than the one I could give you.”</p><p>Danni nodded again, allowing herself to be wrapped up in Debbie’s embrace. After a moment or two, Debbie led her to the bed, sitting them both down on the edge.</p><p>“You know, Danni…I would be honored if you wanted to call me Mom,” she smiled down at the girl in her arms.</p><p>“Really?” Came the whispered response.</p><p>Debbie nodded, gently a hand over the girl’s hair, not quite trusting her voice to work.</p><p>“I’d like that…Mom,” she anxiously looked up at Debbie, hoping the question in her words could be heard. When Debbie smiled down at her, clearly fighting back tears, and pressed a kiss to her forehead, she visibly relaxed, leaning into the woman.</p><p>“Hey, Mom?” She asked after a moment.</p><p>Though she had heard it before, Debbie felt her heart glow, never having imagined she would ever get to hold her daughter in her arms again.</p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>“What about Lou?” Danni asked quietly, not having forgotten about the other woman in the room.</p><p>Lou looked to her wife, question in her eyes, and when she got the small answering nod, she sat on the bed next to Danni.</p><p>“You want to know what you can call me?”</p><p>The girl nodded.</p><p>“You can call me anything you want,” Danni looked at her closely, searching her eyes for a lie.</p><p>“Anything?”</p><p>“Within reason,” Debbie quickly cut in, amusement coloring her tone. Danni gave her a little grin before becoming serious again, regarding Lou carefully.</p><p>“Mama?” She was quiet, rubbing her scarred knuckle anxiously, but looked at Lou with such hope in her eyes that the woman felt her heart melt a little. When Lou smiled broadly and opened her arms, she launched herself into them, worries forgotten.</p><p>“We love you, Danni.”</p><p>“I know,” she tried for a smile, but fell short, “I just—I can’t. Not yet.”</p><p>“It’s okay,” Debbie hid her disappointment. They had time.</p><p>Trying to alleviate the tension that had descended after Danni’s inability to say what they’d hoped she would, “you know, keep breaking glasses like that and pretty soon we’re going to be out.”</p><p>Instead of the expected laugh or at least an amused exhalation, Danni cringed away from her, curling in on herself and whimpered, “молим те мама, жао ми је.”</p><p>Debbie frowned, gently asking the girl to repeat what she said. Danni didn’t answer, stiffening in Lou’s hold, not trying to break free, but seemingly resigned to her fate, whatever it may be. When Debbie met the girl’s gaze, she was horrified, both at what she saw before her and that she had caused it. Danni’s eyes were completely empty, as if she had fled her body, anticipating what was to come next.</p><p>“Danni, love?” Lou loosened the embrace as she felt Danni come back to herself, body relaxing and fear returning to her eyes, no longer the empty, dark pits Debbie had looked into only moments before.</p><p>“I-I’m sorry, it was an accident. I-I’ll pay for it, I swear…<em>please.</em>”</p><p>“Hey, it’s okay. You’re okay, we’re not going to hurt you. It was just a joke, I’m sorry,” Debbie quietly reassured her daughter, answering her unfinished plea, “do you need space?”</p><p>Danni quickly shook her head, burrowing into Lou, who after only a moment of hesitation, pulled her up into her lap, letting Debbie to scooch closer.</p><p>“Aren’t I heavy, Mama?” Testing to see their reactions.</p><p>Lou gave a small smile in relief, resting her head on her daughter’s, “nah, you’re perfect.”</p><p>They sat like that for a few minutes before any of them were ready to go back downstairs.</p><p>“Can we go back down now, Moms? There’s a cake with my name on it...literally,” she seemed almost unaffected by what had just happened. Almost. But Debbie could see how her hands still shook and the guarded look they hadn't seen in so long had returned.</p><p>“You’re okay?” Lou checked. At the girl’s nod, Lou helped her off her lap and ruffled her hair affectionately when Debbie spoke up, “why don’t you go down, we’ll be down in a minute.”</p><p>“Kay…” she trailed off before mumbling something over her breath.</p><p>“What was that?”</p><p>Danni flushed and shook her head, turning to go, “nevermind, it doesn’t matter.”</p><p>“Hey,” Debbie gently caught one of her hands, dropping it the moment Danni twisted to face them, panic momentarily flashing across her face, “don’t be afraid to tell us what you want.”</p><p>“Can you, uh, leave?”</p><p>“Leave?”</p><p>“I, uh, don’t really like having people in my space when I’m not here. It’s not that I don’t trust you,” she quickly added, “it’s just that…”<em>I can’t</em>.</p><p>“Don’t worry about it. Your mom’s the same way,” Lou quickly reassured her, giving her wife a knowing look.</p><p>“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Debbie pointedly ignored her wife and gave their daughter a little half-smile. She counted it as a victory when Danni huffed out a little laugh, the guarded look fading.</p><p>The trio left the room together, Danni carefully closing the door behind them before setting off towards the stairs. But when she realized the women weren’t following her, she paused, looking back in confusion.</p><p>“Coming?”</p><p>“In a minute, I just need talk to Mama about something.”</p><p>Accepting Debbie’s answer, Danni nodded and continued back downstairs. They heard Constance’s yelled greeting and Danni’s quieter one before the sounds of the party drowned them out.</p><p>When she was sure Danni was out of sight, Debbie slid to the floor with her back to the wall, putting her head in her hands. Concerned for her wife, Lou slid down next to her, letting their shoulders brush, but not initiating any further contact. For a couple of minutes, they just sat there, Debbie taking strength from the quiet figure next to her, the one person she knew she could always depend on.</p><p>Sighing, Debbie picked her head up, resting it against the wall, “did you see her reaction in there?”</p><p>“Yeah, she was scared.”</p><p>“No, it wasn’t just that. It was like she was empty. Like she left her body because of how afraid she was…of me” Debbie let out a bitter laugh.</p><p>Lou was silent.</p><p>“I’m never wrong, Lou. I don’t know how I messed up so badly with her, but every time she’s afraid or she feels worthless, it’s because of me. Because I left her with those people. I don't get why…she still wants me to be her mom.”</p><p>“You made a mistake; we all do.”</p><p>“No, I don’t make mistakes, not ones like that. At least I thought I didn’t.”</p><p>“Look, Debs, I’m gonna be honest with you. You did leave her with them, so blame yourself all you want, but it doesn’t mean you were wrong. People change. That doesn’t matter anymore. What matters is the girl downstairs who <em>forgives</em> you and trusts you enough to call you her mum.”</p><p>“You’re right,” Debbie lay her head on Lou’s shoulder for a moment.</p><p>“Aren’t I always?”</p><p>“Sure,” Debbie stood, offering Lou a hand, “now, let’s get downstairs. I don’t know if I trust Constance not to burn the house down.”</p><p>Lou snorted, but quickly agreed. When they returned downstairs, it was, admittedly, less chaotic than they had been anticipating. The cake was still on the table, remarkably untouched, and nothing was on fire.</p><p>The moment she caught sight of Debbie and Lou, Tammy, ever the responsible one, pulled out the candles and began carefully placing them on the cake. With everyone gathered around the cake, Lou pulled out her trusty lighter and set the candles aflame.</p><p>“Are we singing?” Amita asked.</p><p>Danni quickly shook her head, “no, that’s okay. It's not really my birthday and the singing’s always the most awkward part anyway.”</p><p>Secretly glad they wouldn’t be forced to endure a most likely questionable rendition of ‘happy birthday’, Lou wrapped an arm around her daughter.</p><p>“Make a wish.”</p><p>Debbie came up to Danni’s other side, “anything you want.”</p><p>She thought for a moment before closing her eyes tightly, knowing her wish would never come true. Then, blowing the candles out in a single breath, she looked at the smiling faces around her, and felt that empty, despairing feeling take over.</p><p>
  <em> I wish I could stay.</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Let me know what you thought of the chapter.</p><p>if anyone knows the best way to write time, I'd love to hear it (like 9:00 or 9 am or 9 o'clock etc)</p><p>молим те мама, жао ми је - please, mom, I'm sorry</p><p>the next chapter will basically just be fluff and then we get to...the angst (very excited!)</p><p>This is what her sleep shirt looked like (i honestly just thought it was an accurate representation of my thought processes when i run):<br/>https://www.crazydogtshirts.com/products/running-we-all-need-a-little-motivation-womens-tshirt</p><p>This is the other t-shirt she wore (i just thought it was cute):<br/>https://www.snorgtees.com/animals-of-the-world#494=107&amp;76=80&amp;493=2</p><p> </p><p>:)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Just general shenanigans - there may or may not be a cat involved</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Over the next few days, they settled into almost blissful domesticity, something neither Debbie nor Lou had ever imagined for themselves. Of course, their version of domesticity varied quite a bit from the typical definition. They often ate together in the mornings and had mandatory family dinners, but that was about as domestic as it got. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ever the restless one, Debbie had already begun planning their next heist. It was nothing compared to the Toussaint, but she had wanted to teach Danni what she knew, pass on the family legacy. So she let Danni help plan, not the least bit surprised when she was a natural. She was an Ocean after all.</span>
</p><hr/><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Heeey, Mama.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh, come on, you don’t even know what I was going to ask,” Danni collapsed on the couch next to Lou. Looking up from her book, Lou gave her an unimpressed look. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“We’re not getting a cat.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“How—but…”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’re not as sneaky as you think,” seeing Danni’s confused expression, she took pity on her, “Mom told me.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She groaned dramatically before looking at Lou strangely, “why’d you say mom and not mum?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“‘Cause it’s what you say. Is this interrogation over yet?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“One more thing. Why not?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You know Tammy’s allergic to cats, she’d never be able to come over. Also the hair…it gets <em>everywhere</em>.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“But I made a powerpoint and everything,” she whined. Lou gave her a questioning look, “Nine let me use her computer.” <em>What a mistake that was. </em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>“</em>Alright, let’s see it.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Danni narrowed her eyes, giving Lou a shrewd look, “you’re still gonna say no.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She smirked, “smart girl.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was hard to keep a straight face as Danni huffed and stomped off, annoyed she hadn’t gotten her way. As good as it was that she wasn’t afraid to challenge with them…a cat? Really? It was times like that when Lou was reminded that Danni was really just a kid, no matter how mature she seemed at times.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When she reached the safety of her room, quickly peeking into the hallway to make sure no one was there, Danni pulled out her phone.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hey, I need your help. Meet me here as soon as you can.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A little over half an hour later, Constance arrived at the loft, meeting Danni at the door.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Finally!”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What the hell, you made it sound like an emergency!”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Checking to make sure they were alone, Danni quickly filled Constance in on her plan. Though a little doubtful of whether or not it would work, Constance begrudgingly agreed.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“When we get caught, it’s your fault.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Danni thought about protesting, it wasn’t a ‘when’, it was an ‘if’,but thought better of it. It was definitely a ‘when’.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Deal,” she stuck a hand out for Constance to shake, “hey, Moms! We’re going out.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They left quickly, not waiting for Debbie or Lou’s reply. Hopping on the metro, they rode to Nine Ball’s bar to enact the second part of the plan.</span>
</p><hr/><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hey Nine.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She looked up from the pool table, “who let you in here?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Chill, we’re just here to see you,” Constance informed her, idly poking one of the pool balls, which effectively ruined the game. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Alright, but no drinking,” she looked at Danni, “your moms’ll kill me.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Is this really what you do all day?” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Basically,” she leaned on the cue, “what do you want?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I need you to hack into either Debbie or Lou’s bank accounts.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Nine Ball blew out a breath, shaking her head, “alright, come on.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She led them to the back office, where she kept her things and pulled out her computer. In seconds, she had all their information pulled up. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Thank you, Nine,” Danni grinned, pulling out a sheet of paper, and began copying the information down. Taking a look at the paper, Nine ball frowned in bemusement.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hold up, you had me do this ‘cause you wanna get a cat.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Danni froze, then looked at her sheepishly, “maybe?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“And you couldn’t just ask your moms? What happened to that powerpoint?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Constance decided that was the perfect moment to chime back in, “oh, she did. They said no.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“<em>Constance!</em>” Danni elbowed her, hard. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But Nine Ball just snorted, “you’re crazy. What, you really think they won’t find out?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No, I know they will. I’m just hoping by the time they do, it’ll be too late.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You got to be kidding me.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Danni looked at her with barely suppressed laughter, “don’t you mean, you got to be <em>kitten </em>me?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Get out,” she snorted at Nine Ball’s flat tone, “if I hear one more cat pun, I’m gonna rat you out to Debbie and Lou.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Nooo, that would be a <em>cat-</em>astrophe!” Nine Ball glared at her, “okay, okay, I’m sorry. It just slipped out. I guess we’ll be going then.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When they left, Danni was still giggling and only when her laughter began to die down did Constance speak up, “that was a-<em>paw</em>-ling”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She began laughing again, “never <em>fur-</em>get it<em>.”</em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Constance just rolled her eyes good-naturedly, it was good to see her laughing, even if it was about one of the stupidest things she’d ever heard. </span>
</p><hr/><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Arriving at the animal shelter, Danni and Constance were greeted by a kind, older woman manning the front desk.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hi, how can we help you today?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hi,” Danni flashed her most charming smile, “we’re here to adopt a cat. I called ahead and I’ve got all the papers here.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Name?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Danielle Meiers,” she ignored the side look Constance shot her, smiling brightly at the woman. After a moment or two, the woman seemed to locate her name on whatever list they had.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ah, here it is! It says here that you’re a minor?” She looked up at Danni to confirm it.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She nodded, “yeah, my parents are busy, but they signed these forms, so…”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She handed the woman the papers with Debbie’s forged signature, relieved when they were immediately accepted.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Great! You can head on back. If you want to take a cat out, please ask one of our staff members.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Meiers?” Constance whispered to her. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I dunno, it was just the first thing to pop up. I didn’t know what name I was supposed to use.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They wandered through the aisles, Constance offering commentary and suggestions and Danni shooting every one of them down. It had to be perfect. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Finally, when they reached one of the last sections of the fifth aisle they visited, Danni plopped down on the ground, peering inside. In the very back of the enclosure, sat a silver and black cat who was watching her warily, tail flicking from side to side. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hi there,” she cooed at the cat, “what’s your name?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She glanced at the little information card on the door, “Fitz, huh? I like it. Oh and you’re a silver tabby, very fancy.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Kay, if you’re just gonna sit here and talk to it—“</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“—him.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Sorry, <em>him</em>, then I’m gonna go check out the dogs.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Kay,” she absentmindedly waved Constance off, keeping her eyes fixed on the little form in front of her. After a few minutes of talking to the cat didn’t produce any results, Danni went to find a staff member who then let her into the pen. Settling down on the hard concrete floor, just a little ways away from the cat, she got a better look at him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’re very pretty, aren’t you?” The cat turned his head slightly, giving her a better look at his face. His green eyes shone through the shadows and he was missing part of an ear, giving him dangerous, wild look. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But Danni just smiled gently at him, continuing to talk softly, “you don’t have to be afraid, I’m like you. Scared. Alone. And just a little broken,” she cautiously stretched an arm out towards him, grinning when he slowly crept forward, “that’s good, you can trust me; I’ll protect you. They’ve given up on you, huh? Well I won’t. Even if I can’t keep you at the house, Skye said she’ll take you. You’ll like her, she’s like us. We won’t even be separated for long, just a little bit. And then we'll never have to be alone again.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Danni never thought she’d be sitting on the cold concrete floor of an animal shelter, talking to a cat, but there she was. It took over an hour of her just sitting there, talking to him, before he crept forward again, rubbing his head against her hand. Another half hour after that, he let her gently stroke him with a pleased purr.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Elle would’ve loved you.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When Constance came back to check on her (she had been doing so every half hour or so), the cat had migrated to Danni’s lap and was purring in contentment as she pet him. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“This the one?” Danni nodded, “he’s cute.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Danni nodded again, gently picking up the cat as they made their way back to the front desk to finalize the adoption. Using Debbie’s credit card information, Danni signed a few papers and that was it. The cat was hers. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The only thing left to do was get the cat to her room without anyone noticing. Unfortunately, her room was on the second floor and neither of them trusted themselves to climb up there without dying, never mind while carrying a cat carrier. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They finally decided that Danni would go in first and distract the adults, keeping them in the kitchen where they wouldn’t be able to see the rest of the floor. Then Constance would sneak in with the cat carrier and leave it in her room. No one dared enter her room without her in it. They would have to wait to bring in the food and litter, most likely until after they were caught. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ready?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ready.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Danni pushed the doors open, cursing her luck when she spotted Tammy chatting with Debbie and Lou. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Danni!”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hi. Oh hi, Tammy. I didn’t know you were coming over.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah, well the kids are at a sleepover and my husband’s working, so your moms invited me for dinner.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Danni tried to feign an interested smile, “oh. This is actually really good, I had something I wanted to ask you about. Kitchen?” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh, um, sure,” Danni had never actively tried to interact with her. Once in the kitchen, she asked, “what was it you wanted to talk about, sweetie?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Uh,” Danni’s mind raced through potential answers, but came up blank, “well—oh, shit! Moms, remember that massive spider? It’s back!”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Debbie and Lou dashed in, just in time to see their daughter throw an entire paper towel roll at the wall. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Did you get it?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Mama, does it look like I got it?” Danni was standing on a chair, holding a rolled up newspaper in one hand.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Did you at least see where it went?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Uh, I think it went over there,” she pointed at the far wall, so they were faced away from the doorway. Their attention averted, she saw Constance poke her head around the door, see the coast was clear, and dart to the staircase. To cover up any and all noises Constance made, Danni loudly directed the three adults on a wild good chase around the kitchen. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I think you can come down now, love,” Danni hopped off the chair, sheepishly handing the newspaper to Lou. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Well Gertrude, I guess you’ll live to see another day,” the teen sighed dramatically.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You named the spider?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She was about to respond when Tammy suddenly sneezed. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’re not getting sick are you, Tam Tam?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No, that wasn’t a sick sneeze, it was more of an—“</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“—allergy sneeze,” Debbie narrowed her eyes, taking in Danni’s appearance, before walking over a pulling a hair off her shirt, “cat hair.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You didn’t,” Lou didn’t sound angry, just disappointed, and if Danni was being honest with herself, she didn’t know which was worse. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Didn’t what? Buy a cat? No. Constance and I did go down to the nearest shelter to see some cute little animals, though.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Mhm,” Debbie nodded, as if processing the information, “are you lying to me?” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No,” Danni muttered, looking at the ground as she tried to avoid Debbie’s gaze.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Look at me,” though she spoke softly, Danni’s eyes snapped up to meet her own, not quite fearful, but alert and wary, “look me in the eye and tell me you’re not lying to me.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She didn’t miss a beat, “I’m not lying to you.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Okay,” she nodded with the smug half-smile of someone who knows they’ve won, pointing at something in the kitchen doorway, “then whose cat is that?” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Danni spun, catching sight of Fitz exploring the main area before jumping up onto the couch and curling into a ball. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Uh,” she had been expecting them to find out, but not quite so quickly, “it must’ve snuck in?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Right. So you got a cat after we explicitly told you not to and then lied about it and are still lying about it?” Debbie asked, already knowing the answer.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Well…”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes or no?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Danni bit her lip, looking to Lou and Tammy, but they had no sympathy for her. She took a step away from Debbie, ready to make a run for it if she needed to, “yes.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Debbie sighed, gesturing towards the kitchen table, “have a seat.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Sensing she wasn’t needed, Tammy left the kitchen, offering Danni a reassuring smile as she passed. The girl, who was slowly making her way to the table, ignored her, keeping her eyes averted. Once she was seated, staring down at her hands, Lou joined them at the table.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“How did you do it?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She answered almost reflexively, explaining each step of her plan to them. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Let me get this straight, you forged our signatures and then stole our credit card information to get a cat?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Danni nodded. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“And you get why that’s wrong?.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s not worse than, you know, stealing millions of dollars of jewels,” she tried not to get too defensive.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Maybe, but we don’t steal from each other, just like we don’t lie to each other. It’s a betrayal of trust. Understand?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Debbie got a shrug in response, but it wasn’t enough.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Danni, do you trust us?” She nodded, “do you respect us?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Of course I do!” she reassured them, almost frantically, “It’s not that, it’s—,” she hesitated, then asked in a small voice, “am I in trouble?” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Debbie and Lou exchanged a small look before turning back to the girl.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What do you think?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I don’t know <em>what </em>to think!” She shouted at them, slamming her fist down on the table as she rose, pushing her chair back sharply. After a moment, however, she clasped her hands over her mouth, eyes widening in horror.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh, I see,” Debbie motioned for the teen to sit back down. She hadn’t understood the teen’s newfound rebellious nature, but the outburst, while unexpected, was just what she needed. It was the missing piece. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“This was a test, wasn’t it? You purposefully got in trouble to see how we’d react. You’re good,” she eyed her daughter closely. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Lou did the same, “is she right?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Danni shifted a little in her chair, uncomfortable with the intense gazes directed at her, “actions over words, right?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">With a little scoff, Lou leaned back in her chair and shot her wife a smirk, “she really is your daughter, isn’t she?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Our daughter,” she corrected, taking Lou’s hand in her own and entwining their fingers. They shared an easy smile, before an awkward cough brought them back to reality. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“So…am I in trouble?” Though still timid, she sounded fractionally more confident. She hadn’t expected them to react so…positively? </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The two women exchanged another look before Lou took pity on her, “yeah, you are. We get why you did it, but you still shouldn’t’ve.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Okay, and…?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They looked confused for a moment before their faces cleared. Right, they actually had to choose a consequence. But the problem was, they had to pick one that would provide the incentive to never do it again, while also being careful not to scare the girl, which could shatter the fragile trust building between them. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Mama and I need to discuss that, can you go wait in your room please?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Danni gave them a long look, as if deciding whether or not to do as they said, before trudging out of the kitchen.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Take the cat with you!”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She gave no indication that she had heard Lou call after her, but they watched her change her path to pass the couch, scooping up the cat’s curled form, on her way to the stairs. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When Debbie and Lou joined her, a few minutes later, she was curled up on her bed with her eyes closed, stroking the cat. To their credit, when she heard them come in, Danni opened her eyes, but didn’t move away or even visibly tense. They sat down at the foot of her bed, not wanting to intimidate her with height if they remained standing.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Debbie spoke first, “you can’t keep the cat.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“But I can’t just take him back, I told him I wouldn’t and he’ll feel so abandoned,” she protested, stopping when she saw Debbie’s raised eyebrow, and sighed in defeat, “fine.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Debbie looked to Lou who had to suppress the urge to roll her eyes. Of course Debbie would saddle her with telling Danni about the actual punishment, especially when Lou hadn’t even been the one to suggest it. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’re also grounded.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Grounded?” She looked at them incredulously, sitting up.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“All it means is no electronics or tv, except for movie night, and no leaving the house without Mom or me, okay?” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Danni had to fight against the impulse to argue and protest the unfairness. <em>Only a few more days. </em>It wasn’t even that unfair; it made a lot more sense than some of her parents’ punishments. So, she just nodded and resigned herself to her fate. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Let’s take him back now.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Wait!” Debbie and Lou turned to look at her expectantly, “I have a…friend who said she’ll take him. I asked her this morning.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You really planned for everything, huh?” Danni nodded shyly, “alright, we can take him there.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Thank you.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I can’t believe you promised a <em>cat</em> you wouldn’t take him back.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Look at this face, Mom,” Danni held Fitz up for her to see. They did have to admit…he was kind of cute. </span>
</p><hr/><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Later that night, after they had dropped Fitz off with promises she would come visit, Danni retreated up to her room. It was getting too hard to pretend everything was okay. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When they hadn’t heard a peep from Danni in hours, Debbie went up to check on her. After being told she could enter, Debbie found her daughter lying on the ground, a book in hand. It was one of hers; Lou must’ve given it to Danni. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You okay?” She took a seat on the floor near Danni, leaning against the bed. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah,” Danni carefully bookmarked her page and set it on her bedside table before scooching over to sit next to Debbie, putting her head on her shoulder, “just tired.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s been a long day.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Danni nodded, looking up at Debbie, “hey, Mom? Sorry about the whole test thing. Also, sorry I kinda blew up at the end.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s okay,” she put an arm around her daughter, “did we pass?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“With flying colors,” Danni grinned cheekily.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They sat like that for a few more minutes, chatting with one another until Danni began to yawn and lean more heavily against Debbie. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s getting late, you should get to bed.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Already in her pajamas, Danni dragged herself off the floor and flopped onto her bed, wrapping herself in the duvet. Debbie switched off the lights, and began closing the door with a quiet ‘good night, we love you’.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hey, Mom?” Debbie paused in the doorway, turning to face her daughter.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>I’m sorry.</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I love you too.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>let me know what you think!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>angst/pre-angst?</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>sorry this one took a bit longer - i had a bit of trouble with the length</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Unlike the first time around, when the two month anniversary of Elle’s death came around, they were ready. After Danni expressed her wish to spend the day alone again, Debbie and Lou insisted on two conditions. The first, they would conduct an extremely thorough search of her room the night before. And the second, they heard anything they didn’t like, they were coming in. She reluctantly agreed, knowing there was nothing she could do to stop them and it was her only chance to do what she needed to do.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After Debbie and Lou conducted a careful search of the teen’s room (and no alcohol was found hidden anywhere), Danni pointedly held the door open for them, but they didn’t leave just yet. Lou pressed a pair of hand wrap gloves into her hands with a knowing look. She frowned slightly, but accepted, putting them on the dresser. But they still didn’t leave. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“We’re here if you want to talk.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Danni nodded, a sad smile on her lips, “I know.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Debbie sighed, hating that they were leaving her alone. It felt like they were abandoning her to deal with everything by herself, but it was what Danni wanted and they couldn’t deny her that. Putting her hands on her daughter’s shoulders, she met her gaze.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s not your fault,” Danni looked away, “you deserve this life. Danni, you deserve to be happy.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But she couldn’t meet Debbie’s gaze again, looking anywhere but her. Danni stepped away from Debbie, her meaning clear. Lou put an arm around her wife, guiding her to the door. They paused in the doorway, for just a moment, looking over their daughter with sad eyes. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“We love you.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Looking at them, Danni gave a small, rueful smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes, “love you too.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When Debbie and Lou finally left, closing the door softly behind them, Danni sprang into action.Removing her clothes from the dresser, she quickly folded them and placed them into her duffel. She didn’t have much besides that, so the rest of the packing went quickly. In fewer than 15 minutes, the room was spotless. The bed was made and everything was replaced in its original place. If they didn’t know that she’d been living there for a month, one could easily think the room was unlived in and had been for years. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Checking the time and seeing that she had a few hours left, Danni sat down at the desk and began writing. A few drafts later, it was almost time to go. Grabbing her journal, she rifled through it, tearing out pages as she went. She carefully folded the torn out pages, wrapping them around the photograph of her and Elle, and tucked it into her backpack. Satisfied, she tossed the journal down on the bed along with the note she had spent hours composing. With one final look at the clock, she knew it was time to go. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She crept downstairs, being careful to make as little noise as possible. Then, steeling herself, she slipped out into the night without so much as a backwards glance at the place she had come to call home.</span>
</p><hr/><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The next morning, like had happened the month before, neither Debbie nor Lou saw any sign of their daughter. Breakfast remained outside her door for hours until someone, giving up on the hope that she would ever open the door, finally took it away. For more than an hour, before Lou practically had to drag her away, Debbie sat outside the teen’s room, just listening. It was quiet. Too quiet. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She couldn’t hear the rustling of clothing or the sound of pacing. And even when she stayed completely quiet, she couldn’t hear Danni’s breathing or the expected sobs. Just silence. It was disconcerting and the only reason she didn’t bust down the door and see what was happening was Danni. She didn’t want to break her daughter’s trust when she felt she had really only just earned it. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">So she waited. She waited, going over the next heist’s plan on the couch with her feet on her wife’s lap, until she couldn’t anymore. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Lou,” Debbie poked her in the side with a foot.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Studiously ignoring her, Lou continued to flip through the magazine she was reading. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Lou,” another poke.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What?” Lou put down the magazine and looked over to her wife in exasperation. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Danni.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">At their daughter’s name, Lou’s aggravated expression melted away, going fractionally softer for a moment. She raised an eyebrow, silently prompting Debbie to go on.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s too quiet, she’s hiding from us.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“At least she’s not running, like a certain person I married would.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You have other wives?” Debbie feigned outrage.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rolling her eyes, Lou whacked her in the arm. Debbie huffed, almost insulted that Lou would insinuate that she ran away from her problems.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I don’t run away,” she tried to defend herself.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Right,” Lou responded skeptically, “so, Claude Becker was…?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Debbie sniffed, “a…momentary lapse in judgement.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Things were getting too real, we fought, and you ran,” Lou gave her a look, but, sensing that she wasn’t getting anywhere, relented. She easily changed the topic to another she had been giving a good deal of thought. Tossing her magazine down on the coffee table, she pulled something up on her phone and passed it to Debbie.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What’s this? We have everyone we need for the job,” Debbie asked, looking down at the list of names in confusion.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Potential therapists. For Danni…and for you.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“We don’t need a shrink,” Debbie handed the phone back to her wife, her tone harsh. Any other person hearing it would’ve backed off. Unfortunately for her, Lou was made of stronger stuff. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You can’t just think about yourself here, Debs. You need to think about—.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“—what? You think I’m being selfish?” Debbie swung her legs off Lou’s lap and stood, her tone turning angry.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah, I do,” Lou stood so she was face to face with her wife, not letting her run away again, “can’t you see what’s going on? We’re. Not. Enough. If we were, do you think this would even be happening?” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She gestured towards the stairs. The stairs that led to their daughter’s room, where she was hiding because she couldn’t bear to face the world. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">At the reminder, Debbie tensed and fired back without thinking, “you don’t get it. You don’t know what it’s like to have this guilt. To carry it around inside you every <em>single </em>day.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But Lou just scoffed, shaking her head. She could hardly believe what she was hearing, “if that’s really what you think, I never should’ve married you.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Unable to stay there any longer, Lou turned and stalked off, quietly seething. She had remained cool and level-headed through the entire fight like she always did, but as she walked off, it became harder to ignore the boiling anger lurking just beneath her skin. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A little over an hour later (plenty of time for them to cool off), Debbie found her wife in one of the loft’s empty rooms. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Lou,” Debbie stood awkwardly in the doorway, waiting for her wife to acknowledge her. But Lou still didn’t look at her, “I’m…sorry.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">At those two words, Lou turned and Debbie took a cautious step into the room. Debbie hated apologies, so as a rule, she never apologized. But as she was quickly finding out, there were a couple exceptions to the rule that came in the form of her wife and daughter. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It was a dumb thing to say.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There, Lou huffed out a laugh, shaking her head, “yeah, no kidding.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“How about we talk to her about it tomorrow?” She purposefully didn’t say anything about herself, something Lou easily picked up on but said nothing. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She eyed Debbie for a moment, contemplating whether or not to really forgive her, “alright.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Debbie smirked. She knew she was forgiven, even as Lou watched her skeptically, “one more thing. Nine Ball called, apparently there’s something important we need to know. She’ll be here in five minutes.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Receiving a brief nod in response, Debbie left to go to Danni’s room. She didn’t want to disturb her daughter, but Nine Ball had assured her that they would want Danni present. When she reached Danni’s room, she called her name, gently knocking on the door. She got no response. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But again, it was too quiet. She shouldn’t have been able to be that silent. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Danni?” She called again. No response, “Danni, if you don’t answer, I’m coming in.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Even with the warning, Debbie heard nothing. The lack of responses was beginning to worry her. With a small sigh, she slowly pushed the door open, gasping at the sight before her. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The room was almost completely empty, only a few things remained. The gloves Lou had gifted Danni the night before were still lying on the dresser, while the two other items lay upon the neatly made bed. One was Danni’s small journal that Debbie recognized from the day Danni had shown her the drawings. The other was a sheet of paper, folded in half with Danni’s small print on the top. <em>Debbie &amp; Lou. </em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A goodbye letter, addressed to them. Debbie could hardly breathe, a weight having settled on her chest, crushing her. She didn’t understand. What had they done to drive her away? But before she could spiral any further, she heard Lou calling her from the ground floor. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Grasping the note and journal in a hand, Debbie rushed down to the kitchen, where she was met by Nine Ball and Lou.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What happened?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Don’t know,” Lou sent Nine Ball an irritated look, “she wouldn’t say until you were here.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Nine Ball, who was usually, for lack of a better word, chill, watched them with an unusually grave expression on her face, “don’t freak out.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She set her computer down and slowly turned it so they could see the screen.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1"><b><em>Danielle Selene Reynolds - Deceased</em> </b> </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Father (adopted): Robert Stewart Reynolds</em> </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Mother (adopted): Helen Genevieve Thompson</em> </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Name at birth: Danielle Ocean</em> </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Mother (biological): Deborah Ocean</em> </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Born: July 13, 2003</em> </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Died: June 20, 2018</em> </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Cause of Death: Accident</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What’s going on?” Lou questioned, “is this some kind of joke?” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">If it was, it wasn’t funny.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She turned to her wife, fear growing at the sight before her. Debbie paled and extended a trembling hand, holding the note and journal, towards Lou. Her voice broke.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“She’s gone.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Lou took the items from her wife and turned to Nine Ball, demanding answers, “what the <em>hell</em> is going on?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But Nine Ball just held her hands up defensively, “don’t look at me. All I know is that it had all these protections and then at like noon, they just disappeared.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">No one knew what to say. It didn’t make any sense. Danni hadn’t died two months ago, but her friend had. After a minute or two, Debbie spoke up. Her voice was quiet, but had a hard edge to it they hadn’t heard in a while. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Read it,” Debbie seemed fractionally more composed as she gestured to the note in Lou’s hand. Lou hesitated, just for a moment, before placing the journal down and unfolding the note. She cleared her throat before reading the contents of the note aloud. It was stilted and formal, nothing like the Danni they had come to love. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Debbie and Lou,</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em> I assume that by now you have discovered that I’m gone. If you have not already, I would recommend speaking to Nine Ball. All information regarding Danielle Reynolds is no longer blocked as of noon, the 20th. </em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em> I cannot, or rather, will not explain everything that has happened this past month in this letter, you’ll need to read the journal I left for you. I will, however, cover the basics. As you may’ve already figured out, I’m not your daughter, Elle was. My name is Danica (Даница if you want to be “authentic”). </em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em> Everything I told you about Elle was the truth. We met when we were eight and by then, she had already found out about you. Her parents had been planning to tell her that she was adopted when she was older, but she found out while they were arguing.</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em> At first, she wanted to meet you, but as time went on, she became angry. Elle had a younger brother who was the Reynolds biological son, and she felt that they preferred him because he was their “real” son. By the time I met her, she hated you. She was, as appears to be a typical problem for you Oceans, unable to let things go. She felt abandoned. </em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em> She had this grand plan on how she was going to make you pay, make you feel how she felt. Obviously, her first plan was completely impossible, she was eight. But with my help, she refined it. For the past six years, we’ve been working on it, refining the plan, and gathering resources and people, until we were ready. </em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em> We were the perfect team. Elle was the people person, she found the people who could do what we needed. She focused on the emotional aspect of the plan, while I focused on the logistics. Who did we need, when would we leave, how much would we take, what would we do after, etc. </em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em> It was never meant to be me here with you. Honestly, I never cared much for it. I enjoyed the planning, but the whole idea seemed unnecessary and childish. I never understood why she couldn’t let it go; I would not have minded one bit if my mother had given me away as a baby. But I swore I would do as she wished, even if something were to happen. As you know, something did happen. Your daughter died because of me, and she died hating you. </em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em> You may be thinking that it’s incredibly stupid to be sharing our plan, but it really doesn’t matter, it’s already done. This is simply to ensure you don’t get the wrong idea. I was never your daughter. I never loved you. This was nothing more than an escape and a way to honor Elle’s memory.</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em> Don’t come after me.</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> <em>- Danni</em> </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>let me know what you think - questions, comments, concerns, whatever - just leave it in the comments</p><p>Also, don’t ask why Nine Ball couldn’t just send it - I don’t even know<br/> </p><p>:)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Debbie and Lou read the journal and confront Danni.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Warning, angst ahead. Enjoy!</p><p>tw: implied self harm, mentions of suicide (thinking about it, not actually doing it) - these two will be addressed more in the later chapters as well</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">For a few moments, Debbie struggled to control herself. Part of her wanted to lash out at anyone and everyone, to find a way to soothe the red hot anger coursing through her veins. And another part just wanted to curl up in a ball and cry because the betrayal really did hurt. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But she shoved it all back, knowing it was exactly what Danni wanted. She wanted to hurt them with her cold words and it worked. It hurt, but it didn’t make sense. If there was one thing Debbie Ocean excelled at, it was reading people. And Danni hadn’t been lying. She would stake her life on it. But then again, telling the truth was really the only way to con a con. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Gathering her strength, Debbie sat down at the table and slid the journal to her wife, echoing her earlier words, “read it.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Lou looked like she was going to refuse, but at a subtle pleading look from her wife, she picked up the book and began to read. The pages were covered in Danni’s neat print, the margins filled with little doodles. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The only sounds that could be heard in the kitchen were Lou’s voice, steadily reading as she forced her own feelings aside, and the soft crinkling of the turning pages. The entries weren’t daily and after the first two, more and more pages were ripped out, making them wonder what exactly she was trying to hide.</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1"> <em>June 21, 2018</em> </span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Elle,</em> </span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1"> <em> Remember when you told me how your therapist said writing things down would help and I always thought that was stupid? Why leave more evidence? But I feel like I might explode if I don’t talk about this, and since I don’t have you to talk to, this seemed like the next best option (besides Skye, but she wouldn’t get it like you would).</em> </span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1"> <em> This morning, my mom told me you were dead. Hit and run. “Killed by her own stupidity,” she said. You have no idea how close I came to committing murder today. After the rage wore off, I realized why you died. Why you were in that fucking road last night. </em> </span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1"> <em> It’s because of me. Because I called you. I wasn’t even dying, I was just scared and it was stupid. I know you’ll never hear it, but I am so sorry. You know I haven’t believed in any sort of god in a long time, but if there is some higher being and some afterlife, I hope you know how sorry I am. I hope you know that I loved you. You don’t have to forgive me, but please know those two things. </em> </span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1"> <em> You know, after telling me that you were dead, my mom went on and on about how this could be a good thing. I don’t have to rely on you any more. Apparently, she’s hoping this will finally make me stop being so weak. But I was always stronger with you. Anyway, if that doesn’t work, I’ve been instructed to forget you. Like that would ever happen. </em> </span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1"> <em> I will finish the job, like I said I would, and I will do it for you. You know I never really cared about the end product, as long as you were happy and I was far far away from this suburban hellhole. But I will do it. My way, though, not yours. Hopefully it’ll hurt more knowing that it was nothing more than a job for me. That I didn’t even care enough about them to make it personal. We’ll see.</em> </span>
</p><p class="p4"><span class="s1"> <em> Since you’re </em> </span> <strike><span class="s2"> <em>gone</em> </span></strike> <span class="s1"> <em> dead, I guess I can finally say things I never told you. Elle, you were a good friend, but you had too much anger. I never understood why you couldn’t just let it go. You were a baby when she gave you away; she probably thought she was giving you a better life. The Reynolds chose you. I know they started treating you differently after you told them you knew, but it still seemed like they loved you. Maybe it’s better this way, for them at least. Bobby would’ve been crushed if he knew that you willingly left him. </em> </span></p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1"> <em> You did leave us though. You left me. You know emotions and I don’t really mix. Well, not counting anger and fear; I’m good at those. And now I don’t even know how or what to feel. You were the one person I thought I could always rely on. </em> </span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1"> <em> All I know is that I’m drowning without you. Poetic, right? I feel like I can’t breathe, like I’m being crushed by some invisible weight. I don’t know what it is, just that it hurts. It hurts like hell. </em> </span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1"> <em> Enough with the touchy-feely. I’m leaving in a couple of weeks and by the end of August, it should be done. Everything we’ve been planning for years will be done in just a few months. Don’t worry, I’ll try not to fuck it up. </em> </span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1"> <em> I’m going to go, my side hurts and I had to write this with my right, so that’s fun. I can’t wait to leave. I miss you so much, but I don’t have any tears left.</em> </span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1"> <em>- Danni</em> </span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1"> <em>July 10, 2018</em></span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Elle,</em> </span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1"> <em> I left. I wasn’t sure if I’d actually be able to go through with it. I mean, my parents are, for lack of a better word, absolutely shitty, but they’re my family and for some stupid reason, sometimes I really convince myself that I love them and they love me. It’s dumb, I know. The only real family I needed was you anyway. I never knew how you could just leave your loving family behind. And how you were willing to do it almost a month ago for me.</em> </span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1"> <em> These last few weeks have been hell. I wasn’t even allowed to go to your funeral. My mother made me go up to your parents and say (and I quote), “I’m sorry, but I can’t attend your daughter’s funeral. I’m afraid I’m too busy.” Like, what the fuck? I had to say it though, she was right there, watching me.</em> </span>
</p><p class="p4"><span class="s1"> <em> But that’s not really what I want to think about now. I’m on the bus, my side is almost completely healed, and I’ll be in NY in a few days. I’ll drop some stuff off with Skye and then go on to their house/loft thing. I honestly can’t believe how lucky we were with Skye. It’s just like, oh, one of the world’s best hackers just happened to move into our neighborhood for a few months. Also - one of the world’s best hackers who </em> </span> <span class="s3"> <em>doesn’t</em> </span> <span class="s1"> <em> do jobs for people. We’re lucky she liked us. You know, I was thinking about trying your whole optimism thing and, well, long story short, it didn’t work, but I think that I might try and rebuild the little family we had with Skye. </em> </span></p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1"> <em> All in all, this time is going a lot better than the last. Remember the first time I ran away? I was ten and didn’t have a plan, just a suitcase and a couple of granola bars. I just couldn’t take it anymore and left. I snuck into your room, but your parents found us. I don’t remember ever being more terrified than when they drove me back home, walked me to the door, and left me to face my parents. Well, I think it might tie for first. </em> </span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1"> <em> I miss you. You would’ve made this bus ride a lot more bearable.</em> </span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1"> <em>- Danni</em> </span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1"> <em>July 13, 2018</em> </span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Elle,</em> </span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1"> <em> Happy Birthday. I got here a few hours ago and after a little interrogation, they let me stay. Thank god you made a plan for what we would do if anything happened to you. Doing all this work just to have a maternity test come up negative would’ve been awkward, to say the least. Don’t worry, the container you gave me is still intact. Could you imagine if it broke? All my clothes would be covered in blood. </em> </span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1"> <em> Anyway, I’ll call Nic in a minute to make sure he’s working tomorrow. I doubt any other nurse would be fine with me asking to test a little vial of blood instead of mine. Just in case, I also have the results of your blood work in case what you gave me is too old. </em> </span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1"> <em> Ok, I just talked to him. Apparently blood is good for up to 42 days, which we already knew, if refrigerated. I’ve had it for 26 days, but it hasn’t been refrigerated for a few days. I wrapped it in icepacks though, so hopefully it’ll work. </em> </span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1"> <em> I’ve been thinking. It would’ve been a lot easier for everyone if my dad had just finished the job that night. It’s not like anyone would miss me, besides you anyway. But you never needed me the way I needed you. Even if he hadn’t and I still called you, I kind of wish the stitches had broken or something and I’d bled out in the night. At least then, we’d both be dead and I wouldn’t have to deal with this pain.</em> </span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1"> <em> I’m not even afraid of pain, physical pain, that is. Some days that’s the only thing that can make me stop thinking and make everything inside me stop hurting. But I don’t get this kind of pain. People say that it gets better, that you heal with time, but it still hurts so much. I just want it to go away.</em> </span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1"> <em> Sometimes I think about making everything go away. Dying. It would be so easy to slash my wrists open, jump off a bridge, anything. I’ve heard that once your lungs fill with water, drowning’s not a horrible way to go (I’m not entirely convinced). I doubt anyone would even notice I was gone. But I can’t. Because I’m a fucking coward. And I’m weak. I don’t want to live, but I can’t die. I can’t just end my life, no matter how miserable it is. </em> </span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1"> <em> I miss you; you’re the only one who could’ve fixed this.</em> </span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1"> <em>- Danni</em> </span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1"> <em>July 16, 2018</em> </span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Elle,</em> </span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1"> <em> As of today, I am officially the biological daughter of one Deborah Ocean-Miller. yay. I almost ruined everything. First I had a fucking panic attack and then, as if things couldn't get any worse, I blew up at Debbie; I don’t even really know why. Well, besides the fact that I’m really fucking messed up.</em> </span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1"> <em> The results came back and everyone was just so happy and I just got angry. I’ve never had a problem controlling myself, I don’t understand what happened. I didn’t exactly yell, but I really ripped into them. At least I remembered that I was you; I asked if they knew what it was like to feel abandoned and unwanted. It was everything you were angry at her for. But I guess, in a way, it was one of the reasons I was angry. I was never wanted like that. I was never chosen like you were. My parents didn’t want me; I was never good enough for them, but you have no idea how often I’ve wished they gave me up.</em> </span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1"> <em> I thought they were going to kick me out. Of course, that was definitely preferable to whatever my mom would’ve done. But they didn’t. They sat me down and asked if I wanted them to be my legal guardians. I said no, obviously, I couldn’t have them find out that my parents aren’t yours. They actually seemed kind of disappointed, but didn’t force me and then they took me out for ice cream.</em> </span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1"> <em> You know, I’ve actually really…</em> </span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">The next page was torn out, leaving them frustrated. What didn’t she want them to know? Even without looking at the date, it was obvious that the next entry was from exactly a month before. It was easy to tell when she really got drunk. </span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">Her handwriting grew worse until it was a smudged, almost unintelligible scrawl. Words were misspelled, punctuation was missing, and Danni had started several sentences without finishing them. Some of it wasn’t even in English. Lou skipped those bits, but read the rest relatively easily, with only a few pauses when she was trying to decipher what it said.</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1"> <em>July 20, 2018</em> </span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Elle,</em> </span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1"> <em> You died a month ago and I almost forgot. Isn’t that fucked up? I only remembered when I was showing Debbie our picture. Sue me, I thought she should at least get to see what her daughter looked like. We spent the afternoon at Tammy’s pool and it still didn’t click. I’ve always associated you with pools, ms. swim team. Especially since you basically taught me to swim. Lou helped me get better. And you know how I feel about getting help.</em> </span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1"> <em> Anyway, here I am, drinking the day away. I’ve been drinking this tequila for like an hour and I don’t feel anything. I’m going to go get more.</em> </span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1"> <em> k I feel it now! I should drink more huh? It tasted desgusting, but I feel super. anyway, remember tammy she’s like my mom. suburbia and those smooth juicies or green juicies whatever. cuz you’re not here, i kinda feel like</em> </span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1"> <em> why is C the stupidist letter ever. we already have s and k we don’t need you c. cee. мрзим те Elle јеби се. зашто си морала да умреш?? </em> </span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1"> <em> моја мама ми никада није дала да кажем такве ствари, али јеби се и ти мама. Neverminde you don’t speak it. brb</em> </span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1"> <em> Oh my god. Technically it’s the 21st now, but I’m way too lazy to make a new page. Long story short, they caught me and I’m super hungover. Super as in, I just threw up…a lot and I sound like I’ve been chain-smoking my entire life. Now I have to go explain myself, which I don’t really see going well. The problem is, they’re actually really nice and I’m…</em> </span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">Again, the next page was torn out, but Debbie was beginning to understand why. From what she’d heard, she presumed that the torn out pages contained something that could lessen the pain of what she did.</span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">It made a lot of sense. She knew Danni hadn’t been lying the entire time, and she was almost 100% sure that when she told them she loved them, they weren’t just empty words like she said. Danni only wanted them to believe that they were because she thought it would hurt more knowing how thoroughly they’d been conned.</span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">Debbie wasn’t quite sure, though. The fact that it hadn’t all been a lie and she still left and, apparently, took $5 million from each of them, still <em>fucking </em>hurt. </span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">Lou, noticing her wife had zoned out, waved a hand in front of her face, “hey, you okay? We can stop.”</span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">“It wasn’t all lies.”</span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">Observant as always, Lou knew exactly what she was talking about. It was something she had been thinking about as she read as well. So she offered a small nod, “I know. You want me to keep going?”</span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah,” she needed to hear it. Maybe Danni missed a page that would confirm their suspicions. The next entry was slightly more telling, but it didn’t have the proof they wanted.</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s1"> <em>August 13, 2018</em> </span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1"> <em>Elle,</em> </span>
</p><p class="p4"><span class="s1"> <em> I did it. Everything is on track; I’ve been here a month and called them my moms for the first time. I will say, I wasn’t expecting the party they threw for me. </em> </span> <span class="s4"> <em>It was a late birthday and welcome party combined in one. If only they knew my birthday was almost six months ago. </em> </span></p><p class="p5">
  <span class="s1"> <em> That was a good birthday. I loved our stupid traditions, how we would always sneak away from the horrible parties my parents threw to have our own. This was a good “birthday” too. There were dumb decorations and Lou made an amazing cake. Like next level good. I was happy; I almost forgot why I’m here.</em> </span>
</p><p class="p5">
  <span class="s1"> <em> Don’t worry, I remembered. I called Debbie “Mom” and then may or may not have slightly panicked. I can’t even tell you why. It’s like how I feel with cars, you know? For a minute or two, there was just this feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach. Like when you know something horrible is going to happen. I don’t understand because nothing bad even happened with Debbie and Lou. Guess it’s just another example of how Danni’s fucked up. They were happy about it, just like we knew they’d be. </em> </span>
</p><p class="p5">
  <span class="s1"> <em> Saying it, honestly felt a lot…</em> </span>
</p><p class="p5">
  <span class="s1">Unfortunately for them, it cut off once more. Danni had been careful when tearing out pages. And as good as they were at reading in between the lines, they needed to see those pages. </span>
</p><p class="p5">
  <span class="s1">“We need to find her.”</span>
</p><p class="p5">
  <span class="s1">Lou gave Debbie an incredulous look, “what, you’re just going to forgive her? You?” </span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s4">“I never said that,” she replied carefully. She knew Lou wouldn’t misinterpret her words. Children weren’t marks, “but we need those pages.” </span>
</p>
<hr/><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">It took less than an hour for Nine Ball to find their missing girl. She was in a diner just a few blocks away, not exactly hiding. Debbie and Lou went to confront her alone; they had a feeling Danni wouldn’t appreciate facing eight angry, hurt people. Two would do.</span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">When they entered the diner, they searched for the distinctive teal hair that helped Danni stand out wherever she was. Lou saw her first, gently nudging Debbie and cocking her head in the girl’s direction.</span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">Sitting in a booth at the back of the diner, Danni didn’t see the two women enter, but when they began to approach her, her new phone rang.</span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">“Yes?”</span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">“Watch out. Hot mamas, 10 o’clock.”</span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">Danni rolled her eyes at Skye’s nickname for the two women, but looked up from where she had been half-heartedly poking at a waffle. It wasn’t as good as Lou’s. She caught sight of them almost immediately, locking eyes with the woman in question. As they grew closer, she allowed a cool mask to slide over her features. </span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">When they reached her booth, the two women slid in across from her, meeting her gaze with equally level ones. After a moment, Debbie spoke up.</span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">“So…Danica—”</span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">“Don’t call me that,” the teen quickly stopped her. Surprised at the interruption, Debbie and Lou regarded Danni carefully. There was something different about her, something harsher, more aggressive. The girl before them practically exuded confidence, sitting with relaxed posture and a cold challenge in her eyes. It almost made them wonder which was the act.</span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">Before they could continue, a waitress came to the table with a jug of water. She was tall with reddish brown hair and dark eyes that watched them with thinly veiled mistrust.</span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">“Are they bothering you, Niko?”</span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">Danni flashed her a quick smile, putting her at ease, “no, I’m alright, Rubes, thank you.” </span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">The woman nodded and left, though clearly reluctant to do so. </span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">“Niko?” Debbie questioned. It wasn’t a typical nickname for Danica.</span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">But Danni just leaned back against the booth and crossed her arms, “What do you want?” </span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">Pulling the journal out, Debbie flipped it open, exposing the areas where pages had been removed, and set it on the table between them, “just the missing pages.”</span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">For a moment, Danni traced her finger along the jagged edges that were left of the torn out pages almost reverently, before reluctantly dragging her gaze from it to the women across from her. As much as she hated to part with it, she didn’t need it anymore.</span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">“I burned them,” she delivered the lie flawlessly. Anyone else would’ve believed it, but not them. No, as two of the best cons in the country, they saw right through it. Maybe they wouldn’t’ve before, as blinded by their love for her as they'd been. But after breaking their trust like that, they saw no reason not to treat Danni with the suspicion they treated most people. </span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">Lou scoffed, “bullshit.” </span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">And there it was. The almost. Something flickered in her eyes, hesitation, fear, whatever it was, it was buried beneath the layers of confidence and charm within seconds. She was good, they had to give her that. But they were better. Danni hadn't been sloppy, but she hadn't given enough focus to the tiny details. So when Debbie and Lou went over their interactions with a fine toothed comb honed by years of experience, they caught every little mistake she'd made.</span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">Having lived with Debbie and Lou for the past month, she knew it was pointless to fight. Conceding, she asked why they wanted them.</span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">After exchanging a look with Lou, Debbie gave a tiny shrug, “call it a hunch.” </span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1"><em>“</em>And why would I give them to you?” She narrowed her eyes, watching them carefully. </span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">Debbie met her gaze steadily, answering with a question of her own, “you want to know what I think?”</span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">Danni huffed out a wry laugh, “not really, no.” </span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">Undeterred, Debbie continued, “I think you’re scared. Something in those pages is going to prove it wasn’t all a lie.”</span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">And there it was again. Another flicker of the truth hiding in the back of her eyes. It lasted a moment longer than before, but was quickly locked away, replaced with coldness, “if that’s what you’re looking for, I’m afraid I can’t help you.” </span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">Lou, who had been staying quiet, suddenly asked the question that had been burning in her mind, “do you feel guilty?”</span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">Danni turned her cool gaze to Lou, willing her expression to remain impassive as her heartbeat began to pick up. </span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1"><em>Yes. </em>“Do you? For the Met?” </span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">“That’s completely different,” Debbie watched her intently, searching for something in her eyes. What she was looking for, she wasn’t quite sure. All she knew was that she hadn’t found it yet.</span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">“Is it though? Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to go,” Danni slid out of her side of the booth and grabbed her bag. Bag in hand, she paused for a moment, trapped by her own indecision. <em>Fuck it.</em> Reaching into her bag, she grabbed the carefully folded pages she had torn out of the journal and tossed them on the table. </span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">“Aren’t you going to tell us not to come after you again?”</span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">The teen’s lips twisted into a wry smile, “you won’t find me again.”</span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">With that, she left, not noticing the note Debbie slipped into the bag slung over her shoulder. They watched her speak to the waitress from earlier before gesturing at them, clearly leaving them to pay her check. Together, their hearts ached for the girl who had become their daughter. </span>
</p><p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">Over the past month, Danni had earned a place in each of their hearts until at times, it felt like a little piece of their hearts lived outside their body. But she had hurt them. So much that the little pieces of their hearts she held shriveled up, a dry husk of what they’d once been. So as she walked away, there was nothing they could do but watch as she tore that withered love from them without so much as a backwards glance toward the people she wished she didn't have to leave.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>let me know what you think! (questions, comments, concerns, whatever)</p><p>мрзим те Elle јеби се. зашто си морала да умреш - I hate you, Elle. Fuck you. Why did you have to die?<br/>моја мама ми никада није дала да кажем такве ствари, али јеби се и ти мама - my mom never let me say things like that, but fuck you too mom</p><p>i know I already used it, but points to anyone who knows the language w/o google</p><p> </p><p>:)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Chapter 14</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>I'm honestly not exactly sure how to describe this besides angst</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">After their little conversation with Danni, they thought they’d seen enough. But what Debbie and Lou didn’t see were the tears welling up in her eyes as she hurried out of the diner or the way she slumped on the floor of her room in her shared apartment, head in her hands. They didn’t see how her hands shook as she reread Debbie’s note over and over again, tears silently trailing down her face.</p><p class="p1">
  <em>Even if it was just a lie to you, we will treasure the time we had with you. I’m always going to mourn the daughter I never met, but the pain of losing the one I came to love is a thousand times worse. We know you deserve the world, so go out and take it. And when you’re at the top of the world, try not to forget us because we will never forget you.</em>
</p><p class="p1">And when she could recite it in her sleep, they didn’t see her flip the page over to read Lou’s, a whole new set of tears spilling down her cheeks.</p><p class="p1">
  <em>We’re all a little fucked up, it doesn’t make you weak. Just like being alive doesn’t. You’re brave to face the world you don’t think you can live in. You’re brave to keep trying. Please, please keep being brave. No matter what happens, know the world is better off with you in it. Even when everything hurts and you just want it to go away, always remember that.</em>
</p><p class="p1">So when they thought they’d seen enough, they couldn’t have been more wrong. They hadn’t seen anything. Because they didn’t see her huddled up on her bed, curled around the little cat she’d brought home, crying and crying. And when she didn’t have any tears left, they didn’t see her drift off into a restless, hazy sleep with the promise that it would be the last time she let herself fall apart completely.</p><hr/><p class="p1">They didn’t see anything because after she left, their focus turned to the neatly folded papers in front of them. Gently unfolding them and smoothing them out, Debbie and Lou began to read. They sat hunched over the papers, heads almost touching as they poured over the pages she left them.</p><p class="p3">
  <em>July 16, 2018</em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <b> <em>I thought they were going to kick me out. Of course, that was definitely preferable to whatever my mom would’ve done. But they didn’t. They sat me down and asked if I wanted them to be my legal guardians. I said no, obviously, I couldn’t have them find out that my parents aren’t yours. They actually seemed kind of disappointed, but didn’t force me and then they took me out for ice cream.</em> </b>
</p><p class="p1"><b> <em> You know, I’ve actually really…</em> </b> <em>enjoyed these past few days. I’ve basically just been spending them with everyone, especially Constance. She’s pretty cool, you would’ve liked her. She made this game where we basically just have to steal something off of Debbie or Lou and whoever has it by the end of the game wins. I probably win like half the time, but over like 3/4 of the times I do win, it’s because she lets me. She’s good, she’s better than you were.</em></p><p class="p1">
  <em> You were always better at pickpocketing than I was though. I never knew if it was your ability to charm the masses or just the fact that you liked the execution more than the planning. It’s weird because planning is really Debbie’s thing (and I mean <span class="u">really</span>), but you never liked it as much as doing it. That’s another thing I never got about you. You had so much energy and honestly seemed like you enjoyed all the schmoozing you did. We were an odd pair. Well, you know what they say, opposites attract and all that.</em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em> With everything that happened today, I can already tell this is going to be harder than expected. Like with the, you know, slight panic attack I may or may not have had, Lou actually helped me. Speaking of her (not to get off topic), but Lou’s really cool, like, you would’ve loved her. If you weren’t stuck up in this revenge thing that is. Anyway, it was pretty bad (think 7th grade overnight trip), but she didn’t get up in my space. She even apologized. Why couldn’t they just be assholes? That would make it so much easier.</em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em> They know about my parents. I guess it’s not that hard to guess when you know what you’re looking for. I don’t know, no one else cared enough to notice, except that one teacher we had in 6th grade (Ms. Rivera I think) and then she got fired. Why do they have to care? I mean, I never thought I’d have any issues staying emotionally detached, but I had to remind myself over and over that I can’t get attached. I’ve literally only known them a few days, but they make me want to be better. Not better better, they’re criminals, but definitely less fucked up. </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>I miss you, and I’m starting to think I might fuck this up.</em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>- Danni</em>
</p><p class="p3">
  <em>July 20/21, 2018</em>
</p><p class="p1"><b> <em> Oh my god. Technically it’s the 21st now, but I’m way too lazy to make a new page. Long story short, they caught me and I’m super hungover. Super as in, I just threw up…a lot and I sound like I’ve been chain-smoking my entire life. Now I have to go explain myself, which I don’t really see going well. The problem is, they’re actually really nice and I’m…</em> </b> <em>getting way too close. </em></p><p class="p1">
  <em> Honestly, I remember what happened yesterday, but a lot of it is pretty fuzzy. What I do remember is that they said they loved me. It’s only been a week, I didn’t plan for this. How can what they said be true? I mean, I both do and don’t want to believe it, but it can’t be true. So, my drunk self who apparently can’t lie said that I couldn’t love them back. At least I wasn’t a complete idiot and was pretty vague about it (that honestly may’ve just been because I had no idea what I was thinking though). </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em> I said it wasn’t fair and it’s not. I don’t really care if that makes me sound like a whiny 5 year old, but it’s really not fair. If I loved them back, how would that be fair to you. I’d be stealing the love meant for you. But I also don’t think it would be very fair to me. You know I don’t trust easily, but once I do, I tend to get attached a little too quickly. Besides, they don't love me, they love Danni Reynolds. </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em> It’s only been a week, but I’ve already started to trust them (my brain has at least). I’m terrified of what’s going to happen next because I still have to leave in a month. But I want it so bad; you have no idea what I would do to live my life as Danni Reynolds with these two badass criminals who actually love me as my parents. I know I can’t. It’s just nice to live in a fantasy sometimes.</em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em> Anyway, wish me luck. I guess I’ll tell them a little bit about my “tragic backstory”, my origin story, if you will. Maybe I’ll even summon up some tears, they seemed to work last time.</em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>I miss you, Elle, but I’m really starting to wish I hadn’t agreed to do this.</em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>- Danni</em>
</p><p class="p1">Thinking back to that day, Debbie and Lou did remember “tragic backstory” and tears, but everything had seemed real. However, as they were quickly figuring out, Danni had been a lot realer with them than she’d meant to be. It was only a little heartbreaking, the way she wanted to hate them but couldn’t.</p><p class="p3">
  <em>August 13, 2018</em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <b> <em>Don’t worry, I remembered. I called Debbie “Mom” and then may or may not have slightly panicked. I can’t even tell you why. It’s like how I feel with cars, you know? For a minute or two, there was just this feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach. Like when you know something horrible is going to happen. I don’t understand because nothing bad even happened with Debbie and Lou. Guess it’s just another example of how Danni’s fucked up. They were happy about it, just like we knew they’d be. </em> </b>
</p><p class="p1"><b> <em> Saying it, honestly felt a lot…</em> </b> <em>better than I thought it would. I’m kind of ashamed to say it, but calling them “moms” felt right. Is that wrong? They’ve been better parents to me over the month I’ve known them than my actual parents have in the 15 years I’ve been alive. I wish I could stay, but you wouldn’t forgive me, would you?</em></p><p class="p1"><em> That’s the thing about you, </em> <strike><span class="s1"> <em>you’re</em> </span></strike> <em> you weren’t a good person. Maybe that’s what drew you to me, I’ve never been a good person either and you could see it. Maybe you thought because of that, that I would be just like you. But I wasn’t, was I? You stole stuff for the excitement, for the rush you got when you were successful; you didn’t actually need any of it. And I did it because it was something that was mine. When I laid out the plan, I had control, I was in charge. That was our biggest difference, you wanted to do it, but I needed to. </em></p><p class="p1">
  <em> You know what’s funny? Earlier, I said that I couldn’t heal and everything hurt too much. But now, I think I’ve started to and I don’t want to anymore. The pain’s a good reminder of why I’m here. I don’t want to forget you. How can I though, when I’m living your life? I have to keep telling myself, just one more week because I am getting way too close. I need to get out of here.</em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>I miss you and I really wish it were you in my place.</em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>- Danni</em>
</p><p class="p1">That had been the last entry in the journal, but there was another in the pages Danni had left on the table. After reading the first paragraph, however, Debbie stood abruptly and left, mind reeling from what the plan had been. Torn between following her wife and finishing the pages, Lou quickly skimmed the final entry before tossing some bills on the table and leaving, Danni’s journal and torn out pages clutched in one hand.</p><p class="p3">
  <em>August 17, 2018</em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>Elle,</em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em> I can’t do it. I don’t care how angry you were or how abandoned you felt, I can’t send her back to prison. You’re not here so you can’t see it, but I am and I do. She pretends to be unaffected, but when she thinks we can’t see her, she sometimes just disconnects. You wouldn’t understand because you always had everything. Fuck, I can’t understand either. You were so fucking selfish and I can’t even believe I entertained the thought of sending someone to prison. It’s inhumane and horrible; prison breaks people. But not Debbie.</em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em> She’s never going to read this, so I can say that Debbie Ocean is really fucking strong. And she’s really good at what she does. I could never ruin her life like that. And yeah, maybe I got too close, maybe I started trusting them, loving them even, but can you blame me? They don’t get mad, they don’t hurt me, and when they say they love me, they make it convincing.</em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em> So this is what I’m going to do. In three days, I’m going to pack my bags and I’m going to go live with Skye; we’ll split the $40 mil. I’ll leave a note and I’ll make sure it hurts; I’ll make them hate me if I can. And when that’s done, I’ll disappear. This is for you, don’t forget that. You’re the only person I would’ve put myself through this for. </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em> Because with you gone, I thought this pain would never go away. I was willing to end everything just to make it go away. But they make me want to live, they make me forget why it hurts, if only for a little bit. And now I’m going to leave them, for you. </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em> I miss you and I’m trying really hard not to hate myself and you for coming up with this fucking stupid plan.</em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>- Danni</em>
</p><p class="p1">When Lou returned to the loft, she found Debbie in Danni’s emptied room, sitting on the bed with a glass of whiskey in one hand and the bottle in the other. Looking up at her wife leaning casually against the doorframe, arms crossed, Debbie answered the unspoken question.</p><p class="p1">“She was going to send me to jail.”</p><p class="p1">“Well, prison technically,” Lou ignored the look her wife shot her, “but she didn’t.”</p><p class="p1">“Maybe, but almost the entire time she lived with us, she was planning on sending me back to that hellhole!” Her voice rose.</p><p class="p1">“But she didn’t,” Lou repeated firmly.</p><p class="p1">“And?” Debbie’s voice grew aggravated as she tossed back the contents of the glass in her hand.</p><p class="p1">“Do you hate her?” Lou already knew the answer.</p><p class="p1">“I could never,” Debbie looked up at her with a defeated look in her eyes, suddenly sounding exhausted, “but you don’t know what it’s like there.”</p><p class="p1">“You’re right,” she took a few steps into the room, gesturing at the little book in her hand, “but what I <em>do </em>know is we are this close to losing her forever.”</p><p class="p1">“You can’t be serious,” Lou met Debbie’s look of disbelief with a level gaze. She was dead serious, “you’re just going to let her come back. After everything she did?”</p><p class="p1">“No, I’m not going to <em>let </em>her come back. She won’t. I want to bring her back.”</p><p class="p1">“Absolutely not,” she was adamant, and, seeing that her glass was empty, opted to take a swig from the bottle instead.</p><p class="p1">If looks could kill, Debbie was sure she’d already be six feet under. Lou snatched the bottle from her and thrust something at her. It was the final entry.</p><p class="p1">“Finish reading it and get your head out of your ass, Debbie.”</p><p class="p1">Much like their fight earlier that day, Lou turned on her heel and stalked out of the room. But this time, she wouldn’t forgive so easily. Maybe Debbie would come to her senses after reading why Danni didn’t go through with it. Knowing her wife though, she knew it wasn’t going to be that easy.</p><hr/><p class="p1">Months passed. In the beginning, Debbie and Lou rarely spoke and when they did, they fought. Lou wanted to bring Danni back, but Debbie couldn’t just ignore the betrayal. Game nights and family dinners grew tense until finally, they stopped.</p><p class="p1">Eventually, Lou packed her bags and went to sleep on the small pullout couch in her club’s office, dedicating more and more time toward running the club. Debbie was the same. She did job after job after job, casinos, liquor stores, gas stations, anything, but it wasn’t the same without her partner.</p><p class="p1">All the while that was happening, the crew couldn’t do anything but watch as Debbie and Lou were torn apart, despite the team’s attempts to bring them back together. After the first month of hell, they staged an intervention, giving the two an ultimatum. They could either go to therapy like the adults they were, or they could sit in the living room and sort out their problems surrounded by their family. Either way, they had to get their shit together. They chose therapy.</p><p class="p1">And thus began the process of healing. Lou moved back in, though she stayed in one of the guest rooms. They started talking again, even if it was just a few terse words in the morning. For a while, things seemed like they were starting to get better. Until one night almost two and a half months after Danni left.</p><p class="p1">It started quiet, like all of their arguments, but soon everyone on the ground floor could hear each and every word being yelled on the second floor. And they never yelled. After a few minutes, Lou came storming down the stairs and, grabbing her coat and keys, left, slamming the door behind her. In the silence, all eyes turned to Tammy. She had known them the longest, it only made sense for her to check on them. She was also the only one who wasn’t even the tiniest bit afraid of the two.</p><p class="p1">Quietly pushing the door open, Tammy found Debbie sitting at the small desk in the corner of the room, head in her hands.</p><p class="p1">“Oh, Debs.”</p><p class="p1">“Hey Tam Tam,” Debbie offered her a weak half-smile. It suddenly struck Tammy just how tired her oldest friend looked, and none of them had even noticed.</p><p class="p1">She made her way over to Debbie, perching on the edge of the bed, “are you okay?”</p><p class="p1">With a quiet scoff, Debbie turned to face her, “remember when you told me that more than one thing could make me happy?”</p><p class="p1">Nodding, Tammy responded with a quiet ‘yeah’.</p><p class="p1">Debbie shook her head wistfully, thinking back, “I really thought I found it. I love the family we have, but it was different with her. You’re all adults, and she’s just a kid. She was always so…” she let out a short laugh. It wasn’t a happy sound, “<em>innocent </em>and I just wanted to protect her from all the shitty things that happened to her.”</p><p class="p1">“Then why do you keep saying no?”</p><p class="p1">“I don’t know,” she admitted quietly, running her fingers through her hair.</p><p class="p1">Tammy stood and rested a gentle hand on Debbie’s shoulder, her voice soft, before turning to go, “well, it seems like you need to figure that out.”</p><p class="p1">Later that night, as Debbie lay tossing and turning in the bed that felt empty without Lou, she ran over her earlier words. <em>I don’t know. I don’t know.</em> But she did know. She was afraid. No, scratch that. She was really fucking terrified.</p><p class="p1">Scared to be vulnerable again. Scared that it would only lead to more deceit, more trickery. Too easily they’d become blinded by their love for Danni, so much that they hadn’t caught the lies. It had been too easy for Danni to become that cold, callous version of herself despite the fact she clearly loved them back. And it had been too easy for her to push it all away, to lock away whatever she felt in favor of finishing the job. That’s what scared her, how easy it had been.</p><p class="p1">She was scared for herself and for Danni. What if she fucked it all up? What if she fucked her up? No matter what she did to them, Debbie couldn’t find it in herself to hate her, to want revenge. And that scared her. It wasn’t exactly in her nature to forgive and forget, so why was Danni so different?</p><p class="p1">But what if she did forgive her, easy as that, and she couldn’t give Danni the life she deserved. She didn't know if they'd ever be able to go back to the way things had been, too much trust had been broken. And while she never stopped loving her, what if Danni didn't want that?</p><p class="p1">There were too many questions left unanswered, and Debbie hated uncertainty. But, maybe, just maybe, some people were worth facing the unknown for.</p><p class="p1">Her mind made up, she grabbed her phone off the bedside table and quickly punched in the number she’d long since memorized by heart. She waited with bated breath as the phone rang once, twice, the bright screen illuminating the room. Only after her wife’s irritated voice came over the line did she dare to take another breath, a small smile taking over her features. </p><p class="p1">“Let’s go get our girl.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>let me know what you think (questions, comments, concerns, whatever)<br/>how'd you like my angst w/a little sprinkling of hope </p><p>isn't it great how everything you write at 1 am is a literal masterpiece, and then the next day you're like, "ah, that's not even a complete sentence"</p><p> </p><p>:)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Chapter 15</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>they go get their girl</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">After the phone call on that lonely night, things started to look up. With a bit of communication, Debbie and Lou were able to sort through their issues. It wasn’t perfect, but it was better.</p><p class="p1">The search wasn’t easy. They may’ve had one of the best hackers on the East Coast on their side, but she had one of the best in the world on hers. One capable of erasing any and all records of her and could easily create an entirely new identity for the girl.</p><p class="p1">But they didn’t give up, they couldn’t. They checked school records, apartment leases, plane tickets, train tickets, but nothing. They checked every name they could think of: Danni, Elle, Danielle, Danica, Reynolds, Meiers, but still nothing. Debbie and Lou put on a brave face for everyone, but when it was just them in bed, they spoke of their fears, whispered them into the dark even if the other wasn’t awake.</p><p class="p1">“You don’t think she…” Debbie couldn’t finish the sentence.</p><p class="p1">“No,” came Lou’s firm reply, “she won’t do it.”</p><p class="p1">“Maybe,” Debbie sighed, feeling the arms around her tighten reassuringly, “I wish we knew for sure.”</p><p class="p1">They continued to work tirelessly for weeks until they finally caught a break. Only a day after the awkward Thanksgiving they spent together (some people were still angry that they wanted Danni back), Constance stormed into the loft for their resumed weekly game nights, groaning about some awkward texts she got. She flopped down on the floor to watch the poker game, which wasn't really a game you wanted to play with a bunch of criminals. Especially not two of the best cons there were.</p><p class="p1">“What happened?” Lou questioned from her seat on the couch, Debbie’s legs on her lap.</p><p class="p1">“I dunno, I got this like weird text from an unknown number.”</p><p class="p1">“Well what’d it say?”</p><p class="p1">Constance scrolled through her messages until she found the right one, holding it up for Debbie and Lou to see.</p><p class="p1">
  <em>Mercury Minor.</em>
</p><p class="p1">“What is that? Some space thing?” Debbie asked, only half paying attention.</p><p class="p1">“It’s obviously a name,” Daphne spoke up, rolling her eyes at their confusion, “there’s no Mercury Minor in astronomy.”</p><p class="p1">Snapping her fingers, Nine Ball quickly skimmed through her mental database, “wait, this sounds familiar. Gimme a sec.”</p><p class="p1">She pulled out her computer, taking only a few seconds to pull something up that seemingly confirmed whatever she was thinking, “I heard it from a buddy of mine, Mercury Minor. They set up a crew, couple months ago. They’ve done pretty good for ‘emselves too. Word gets around, but people still don’t know shit ‘bout them, not even a face to the name.”</p><p class="p1">Perhaps not as interested in the information and the way it got to them as they should’ve been, they quickly turned back to their game. Except Daphne, who hadn’t even been playing, simply observing. She sat with a perplexed look on her face. There was something about that name. Something that reminded her of something she once heard.</p><p class="p1">“Hey Debbie?”</p><p class="p1">“Yeah?” Came the distracted reply.</p><p class="p1">“You looked up what Danica means, right?”</p><p class="p1">“Uh yeah, why?”</p><p class="p1">“And? What’d it mean?” Daphne stared off into space, not quite able to place what was bothering her.</p><p class="p1">“Morning star, I think,” the ‘nonchalant’ answer came just a bit too quickly to be classed as such.</p><p class="p1">It hit her. <em>Morning star.</em></p><p class="p1">“Holy shit,” all eyes turned to the actress whose mouth was hanging just slightly open, “you don’t think it could be…<em>her, </em>do you?”</p><p class="p1">Cards forgotten, Debbie and Lou gave her all their attention, “why?”</p><p class="p1">Usually glad to be the center of attention, Daphne didn’t look at them, her eyes narrowed in thought as she worked it through, “okay, well Mercury is the Roman god of communication, trickery, all that stuff. So, you know, definitely a good name for an up-and-coming criminal. I know, I know, it seems like a shot in the dark, but there’s another meaning. Mercury, the planet, is also sometimes called…the morning star.”</p><p class="p1">For a minute or so, they sat in silence, staring at Daphne in shock. Really, it was high time they stopped underestimating her. Taking their silence as the question it was, Daphne smirked, “what? I know stuff.”</p><p class="p1">Still getting over her shock, Debbie shook her head in disbelief, a hint of a smile on her lips, “you’re amazing, you know that?”</p><p class="p1">With a faux modest smile, Daphne shrugged, “well…”</p><p class="p1">Sharing a hopeful glance, Debbie and Lou could immediately see what was going through the other’s head. They had a job to prepare for, but this time, the reward wasn’t money or diamonds. This time, they were going to get their daughter.</p>
<hr/><p class="p1">“Danni!” Skye chucked a throw pillow at her sleeping friend’s head. That’s what they were for, right? Throwing?</p><p class="p1">“What?” She groaned from where her face was planted in a pillow.</p><p class="p1">“I got a client for you.”</p><p class="p1">Danni’s head popped up from her pillow and she turned to look at her friend with a look of disbelief, “already?”</p><p class="p1">“Yeah and it’s easy,” she shoved Danni aside and settled down on the bed, absentmindedly cracking her neck as she pulled up the information. Danni curled her lip at the sound, but said nothing, propping herself up and putting her head on her friend’s shoulder.</p><p class="p1">Fighting back a yawn, she asked, “what’ll I have to do?”</p><p class="p1">“All they want to do is talk. 30 minutes, half a million dollars.”</p><p class="p1">“You’re joking?” Danni’s jaw dropped.</p><p class="p1">Skye just shrugged, “what can I say, word’s getting around.”</p><p class="p1">“And it’s legit? Safe?”</p><p class="p1">“Yup and yup. I checked her out. Name’s April, she’s 25, no criminal record. You’ll be fine and I’ll send some of the guys.”</p><p class="p1">‘The guys”, who were, in fact, the majority women, was their crew. All handpicked, highly adaptable, and completely expendable. They did jobs with Danni working as the mastermind behind the scenes, only communicating with her via comms or a secure messaging channel Skye created. She let them choose the job and then she and Skye devised a plan. If it worked, everyone received equal cuts. If it didn’t, well, it was no skin off their back. If need be, they replaced a few people, someone suggested the next job, and got back to work.</p><p class="p1">“Does she know I don’t do face to face?”</p><p class="p1">“It’s a lot of money, Danni.”</p><p class="p1">Shooting Skye an unimpressed glare, Danni raised an eyebrow before responding dryly, “we have $40 million between the two of us.”</p><p class="p1">“C’mon, it’s easy money,” she was almost pleading, Danni had to go for the plan to work.</p><p class="p1">With a suspicious look on her face, Danni rolled her eyes and relented, grumbling her answer, “fine, fine. Just send me the address, I’ll look at it later.”</p><p class="p1">“Cool, you need to be there tonight at ten, okay?” Skye ruffled the teen’s already messy hair and left, artfully dodging the pillow thrown at her head.</p><p class="p1">Later that day, as Danni was getting ready to leave, her phone pinged, lighting up the otherwise dark room. Wandering over, she gave it a cursory glance, eyes widening as she recognized the address.</p><p class="p1">“Oh shit.”</p>
<hr/><p class="p1">Walking through the crowd that seemingly thrummed and pulsed in time to the music, Danni fought to control her racing heart, it was too much. The music; too loud. The flashing lights; too bright. The crowd; too big. Logically, she knew she was safe. Her people were there, watching her, ready to protect the teen they just learned had been leading them for almost two months, but she couldn’t help but be a little overwhelmed.</p><p class="p1">After a few calming breaths, she steadily walked up to second level, thankful when it was almost empty. Not just anyone was allowed up there, though she didn’t know that. With her target in sight, the noises faded away and her heart slowed, it was just another job. This, she knew how to do.</p><p class="p1">As she walked, she allowed a practiced mask drop over her features, the affected confidence bleeding into her feature and motions. After months of practice, it was almost second nature, as easy as breathing. She strode over to the woman, a smirk playing at the edge of her lips and a swagger in her step. A swagger she had perfected by watching a certain blonde who owned the very club she stood in.</p><p class="p1">“You must be April,” Danni shoved her hands in her pockets and took in the sight of the nervous brunette in front of her. In all black, the only splash of color coming from the beanie pulled firmly over her ears, the woman looked like she could work there.</p><p class="p1">“Yes, hi! You’re Mercury?”</p><p class="p1">“The one and only,” she ignored the hand held out towards her, leaning casually against the wooden railing. When April didn’t say anything, Danni raised an eyebrow, “well? You wanted to talk.”</p><p class="p1">“R-Right,” she stammered out, “sorry, I guess I just wasn’t expecting you to be so…young.”</p><p class="p1">Danni nodded skeptically, “There is a reason no one knows what I look like, I've got a baby face,” when April didn’t look like she’d being saying anything again, Danni narrowed her eyes, “is that it? You have half an hour of my time, and you just want to say that I look young?”</p><p class="p1">The woman’s eyes went almost comically large as she frantically shook her head, recalling her instructions. <em>Keep her talking, we don’t want to scare her away by showing up immediately. Give us 10 to 15 minutes. </em></p><p class="p1">“No!” It came out more desperate than she planned. Clearing her throat, she tried again, “no. I was actually wondering if you’d…teach me?”</p><p class="p1">“Teach you?” Danni cocked her head, keeping her intense gaze on the clearly uncomfortable woman before her.</p><p class="p1">“Well I heard about your crew and—”</p><p class="p1">“—how?” She interrupted quickly. Usually someone from the crew connected them to potential clients, there was no way for anyone to reach out to them. Something was going on, something she had no doubt Skye was a part of, and she didn’t like it one bit.</p><p class="p1">“Charlie. Charlie Ortiz. We grew up together.”</p><p class="p1">Eying her carefully, Danni had to admit, it checked out. Besides, it was always harder to tell when nervous people were lying, a lot of ‘guilty behaviors’ they showed were just normal for them. So, for the sake of the job (if it could even be counted as one), she pushed her suspicions aside.</p><p class="p1">“Okay. Well what is there for me to teach you?”</p><p class="p1">“Well, Charlie said that you’re amazing. Apparently you guys got caught like twice and it was only your fault one of the times.”</p><p class="p1">Danni nodded, tapping a finger against the wooden barrier, “yeah, well, Charlie shouldn’t be telling you things like that.”</p><p class="p1">It was almost funny how fast April’s face fell, “you don’t have to worry, I’m not gonna tell anyone.”</p><p class="p1">“Mhm,” the noncommittal hum was all it took for April to pale, afraid she said the wrong thing.</p><p class="p1">“Well, maybe it’d be easier if I joined your crew.”</p><p class="p1">“We’re not looking for anyone new. Anyway, my partner picks the first round of people. I just help her cut it down.”</p><p class="p1">After a few more awkward minutes, April chanced a glance at her phone, barely containing her sigh of relief. It’d been 12 minutes. Trying to keep her voice sounding casual, April said, “I’m gonna go get a drink. You want anything?”</p><p class="p1">“My money?”</p><p class="p1">“It hasn’t been half an hour yet.”</p><p class="p1">Danni let out an amused exhalation, “you really think I’m going to let you disappear into that crowd without getting what I came for?”</p><p class="p1">“Well…” April crossed her arms, trying to look intimidating, “how do I know you’ll keep up your end of the deal?”</p><p class="p1">“You don’t,” seeing the woman’s look, Danni rolled her eyes, “relax. I’m the only one up here, so you’ll be able to see me. I’m not going anywhere.”</p><p class="p1">Apparently satisfied, April passed her a check before disappearing down the stairs. Only meaning to verify the check’s amount, Danni froze when she saw the name on it. <em>Danica Meiers.</em></p><p class="p1">Taking a step further into the shadows, Danni quickly turned on her comms.</p><p class="p1">“What the hell is going on, Skye?”</p><p class="p1">
  <em>“Hey, chill. This is a good thing, just trust me.”</em>
</p><p class="p1">But before she could question what Skye meant, Danni felt a hand on her shoulder. Spinning around, she came face to face with the one person she’d been hoping to avoid. Almost immediately, she felt her cool exterior begin to crumble. With what was left of it, she met the woman’s piercing gaze, “what do you want?”</p><p class="p1">Feeling the girl tense up under her hand, Lou took a small step back and surveyed her cooly. Gone was the teal hair, replaced by shiny, dark waves, allowing her to more easily blend in with crowds. Lou almost hadn’t been sure it was her from the back. Dressed in a black leather jacket over dark jeans and a t-shirt with a light layer of make up applied to her face, Danni looked years older than she was. Though that, Lou supposed, was most likely the point. It had only been three months, but there was something altogether alien in that familiar face.</p><p class="p1">“Come home,” it wasn’t the command it sounded like. After having gotten to know Lou quite well over the month she lived with them, Danni could hear the subtle pleading the blonde would never admit too.</p><p class="p1">Danni couldn’t hold back her derisive snort. <em>Home. </em>For just a moment, her cool expression slid away, to be replaced by one of anger, “if you’ll excuse me, I need to speak with my <em>partner</em>.”</p><p class="p1">With a small nod, Lou waved her away, keeping a close eye on the girl. She wasn’t going to lose her again. Danni retreated to the corner with one eye on Lou as she angrily turned her comms back on, growling out Skye’s name.</p><p class="p1">“What did you do?”</p><p class="p1">
  <em>“I may’ve texted that girl, Constance, your new name.” </em>
</p><p class="p1">“When?”</p><p class="p1">
  <em>“Like a week ago.”</em>
</p><p class="p1">“Why?”</p><p class="p1">
  <em>“You may be one of the best damn liars I know, but anyone with eyes can tell you’re miserable.”</em>
</p><p class="p1">“I’m fine,” but the words sounded forced, even to her own ears.</p><p class="p1">
  <em>“You’re not, so just hear her out. They want you back and I know you want to go.”</em>
</p><p class="p1">She sighed, rubbing her forehead wearily, “and the guys?”</p><p class="p1">
  <em>“Already sent them home.”</em>
</p><p class="p1">“If you’re wrong—”</p><p class="p1">
  <em>“—I’m not. So go home with them, I’ll be fine. You can work from there if you really want to.”</em>
</p><p class="p1">“Fine, talk later."</p><p class="p1">Turning back to Lou, Danni tried to project the calm she didn’t feel in her voice, “what makes you think I’d go anywhere with you?”</p><p class="p1">Lou shrugged, “call it a hunch.”</p><p class="p1">But that line wouldn’t work twice, Danni stared at her, unimpressed. Sighing, Lou knew that if she wanted Danni to come with her, she’d have to tell the truth and most likely be a lot realer than she ever allowed herself to be, “you were right, we couldn’t find you. We wouldn’t’ve found you if you didn’t let us.”</p><p class="p1">“Believe me, I didn’t have a say in that,” she folded her arms across her chest, glaring up at the woman in front of her. Though, given their size difference and history, Lou found it a lot cuter than she did intimidating.</p><p class="p1">“Well, you’ve got one now. Come home,” she wanted nothing more than to rush forward and gather Danni into her arms, but she knew she couldn’t do that anymore, no matter how much she wanted to.</p><p class="p1">Buckling under Lou’s intense gaze, Danni looked away, “it’s not my home, not anymore.”</p><p class="p1">The final words were whispered, barely audible over the music playing, but Lou heard them, her heart soaring. Those two little words had the power to rekindle the hope that had been dying out throughout their conversation.</p><p class="p1">Whether she was aware of it or not, Danni’s words were a plea for help, a quiet admittance in a world that’d grown too loud for her. Because Lou knew her, and she hadn’t had to say those words, she hadn’t had to admit that she’d found a home with them. But she’d said them, she’d admitted it.</p><p class="p1">“Give us a month. Then if you really want to go, you can go.”</p><p class="p1"><em>But I won’t want to go. I won’t want to leave again. </em>Danni wanted to scream, but instead, nodded, barely taking notice of the broad grin that stretched across Lou’s face, “one month.”</p><p class="p1">She allowed herself to be led through the crowd, hating the noise and the lights and the people. Though she wanted nothing more than to curl up in a ball and hide, Danni made it outside only to be faced by her next challenge.</p><p class="p1">“You want me to get on <em>that</em>?” She stared, wide-eyed, at Lou’s pride and joy, her bike.</p><p class="p1">“Well I couldn’t just bring the Toyota. I own the place, I’ve got a reputation to uphold,” Lou easily sidestepped the real reason she brought it.</p><p class="p1">Next to Danni, she didn’t give a shit about her reputation. Besides, no one would dare question if she drove her old, beaten up car to the club. No, the real reason was Danni, who, if she was being honest with herself, was becoming the reason for a lot of the things she did.</p><p class="p1">But it was too soon, they couldn’t tell her that. They couldn’t tell her about the hour they’d spent deliberating over the decision. Car or bike. They’d gone over the pros and cons for both, and though the car seemed safer (especially since Danni had never ridden a motorcycle before), they couldn’t stop cycling back to a passage in one of Danni’s journal entries.</p><p class="p1">
  <em>Don’t worry, I remembered. I called Debbie “Mom” and then may or may not have slightly panicked. I can’t even tell you why. It’s like how I feel with cars, you know? For a minute or two, there was just this feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach. Like when you know something horrible is going to happen. I don’t understand because nothing bad even happened with Debbie and Lou. Guess it’s just another example of how Danni’s fucked up. They were happy about it, just like we knew they’d be.</em>
</p><p class="p1">They couldn’t just subject her to that, so after wasting an hour on the topic, they went with the motorcycle. Because no matter how hurt they were by what she’d done, they weren’t monsters. And, against what may’ve been their better judgement, they still loved her with all they had.</p><p class="p1">Shaking herself from her thoughts, Lou passed Danni the spare helmet she brought with her. Danni took it from her with a bemused look on her face. <em>They knew I was going to be coming back, huh?</em> When the teen didn’t move, Lou took it and, after gently moving the dark strands out of the way, gently fit it over Danni’s head. Putting on her own helmet, Lou confidently swung a leg over the bike and waited as Danni did the same, albeit much more hesitantly. With Danni’s arms wrapped tightly around her middle, Lou sped off into the night.</p><p class="p1">They arrived at the loft not too soon later. After offering a hand off the bike to Danni (one that was refused), Lou pulled off her helmet and strode toward the entrance. There was that swagger.</p><p class="p1">Danni trailed behind, shivering slightly from the cold, night air. When Lou pushed open the doors, Danni stayed slightly behind her, knowing not to be expecting a warm welcome. But the sight before her was not what she’d been expecting. Everyone was there, everyone but Constance. </p><p class="p1">At their entrance, Debbie shot off the couch, relief taking over her features, not that she’d been worrying. Debbie Ocean didn’t worry. Because she definitely hadn’t spent the last half hour pacing and muttering to herself until she’d been told to shut up and sit down, everything would be okay. But she hadn’t known if it would.</p><p class="p1">So when she saw Lou come through the doors, the small form of their daughter behind her, she felt relief. Relief and hope. Maybe everything would be okay. Taking in the girl’s appearance, the dark hair so much like her own, she smiled, her first real smile in months.</p><p class="p1">“Welcome home.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>let me know what you think (questions, comments, concerns, whatever)</p><p> </p><p>:)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Chapter 16</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Danni's first day back</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I know this one took a bit longer than usual and I felt guilty, so I finished it at 2 am. you're welcome :) anyway, enjoy! plz</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">Waking up the next morning in the room that used to be hers, Danni had an overwhelming sense of deja vu. Like with her first day, she dreamt of Elle. She saw her dead or dying on the road, her dark eyes that had once been full of warmth and joy and anger left glassy and unseeing. But this time, there were no tears. She wouldn’t allow herself to fall apart over her dead friend any longer.</p><p class="p1">Just like her first day there all those months ago, she could confidently say that she was completely out of her depth. She rolled onto her back and stared up at the grey ceiling, her mind in turmoil. <em>Why did I come back? I can't stay, can I? </em>She lay there long enough to lose track of time, only shaken from her thoughts by a knock on the door.</p><p class="p1">“Hey, Danni? You up?” Lou called from the hallway. With her eyes closed, Danni lay there for a moment, contemplating whether or not to respond. When she took too long to respond, she heard a small sigh coming from the other side of the door, “okay. If you’re up, breakfast is ready.”</p><p class="p1">When she finally wandered down to the kitchen, Danni knew that’s where the resemblance to her first day stopped. Breakfast was a small affair; Debbie and Lou had already eaten, but they sat with her, quietly sipping their coffees, while she ate. No one else had come and Danni was having a hard time wrapping her head around the unexpected disappointment she felt.</p><p class="p1">Noticing that Danni was almost finished, Debbie set her mug down and cleared her throat, shattering the awkward silence they had fallen into. The teen looked up questioningly, not stopping eating, simply waiting for the women to say what they wanted to say.</p><p class="p1">“Danni, there are a few things we’d like to discuss with you,” she began, watching to see the girl’s reaction. It was minimal, to say the least. Danni raised an eyebrow, looking interested, but said nothing. Taking it as a positive one, Debbie continued, “I know you agreed to stay with us for a month and we hope you know—well, we would like it if you stayed longer, but it’s your choice. There are just a few things we need to work out.”</p><p class="p1">A small furrow appeared in the girl’s brow, she hadn’t expected Debbie to falter. With all the trust lost between them, she certainly hadn’t been expecting to be welcomed back, much less asked to stay longer. Once again, Danni really didn’t know what to expect. She knew Debbie and Lou weren’t exactly the type to forgive and forget, but they were certainly acting like it. And unfortunately for her, they had an irritating habit of surprising her, making it extremely difficult to predict what they would do next.</p><p class="p1">“Okay?”</p><p class="p1">“Well,” Debbie turned a pleading look to her wife, she wasn’t used to not knowing exactly what to say.</p><p class="p1">Luckily for her, Lou knew Debbie like the back of her hand and smoothly cut in, “have you been going to school?”</p><p class="p1">Setting down her fork, Danni’s hands went to her lap to fidget unseen. Her jaw clenched and she quickly adopted a practiced facade. Not the indifference they’d been dreading to see, but one of annoyance. She’d gotten better; there’s always some truth in a good con. She used the slight annoyance she felt to misdirect from the greater feeling. But they were still better, they could see the fear lurking beneath the surface.</p><p class="p1">“Yeah, why?” she replied, crossing her arms across her chest, her tone borderline confrontational.</p><p class="p1">Lou mimicked the posture, leaning back against her chair, “no need to get snippy.”</p><p class="p1">“Sorry,” she ground out, sounding anything but. Debbie and Lou couldn’t decide whether to be delighted or annoyed by the teen’s behavior. On one hand, she wasn’t afraid to challenge them, but on the other, it was like talking to a brick wall.</p><p class="p1">Sensing the rising tensions, Debbie cut in, trying to steer the conversation back on track, “where’ve you been going?”</p><p class="p1">Danni’s gaze flicked over to her, “online school.”</p><p class="p1">“Okay, well, while you’re living with us, we would like you to go to…an in-person school.”</p><p class="p1">“No.”</p><p class="p1">Debbie and Lou exchanged a look, they hadn’t exactly been planning for a direct rejection like that. In fact, in the month Danni had lived with them, they weren’t sure if they could remember a time when she told them no.</p><p class="p1">“You need friends your own age,” Debbie tried to reason with her.</p><p class="p1">But Danni just scoffed and shook her head, “have you been reading parenting books?”</p><p class="p1">Debbie and Lou exchanged a guilty look. When they found her, they may or may not have called Tammy in a panic, needing to know how to parent. And maybe Tammy had brought stacks of parenting books for them to read (though, unfortunately, there weren’t any on how to parent a previously abused teenager who pretended she was your biological daughter for a month, then ran away). And just maybe, Debbie and Lou had read them all before going to get her, but Danni didn’t need to know that.</p><p class="p1">Their silence, however, spoke for itself.</p><p class="p1">The teen’s brows arched in disbelief, “really?” Her lips curled into a cold smile, “well, you don’t need to worry about that. You’re not my parents.”</p><p class="p1">They had seen it coming a mile off, but that didn’t stop the crushed feeling inside in their chests. They knew she only said it to hurt them, but boy did she know what she was doing. Continuing as if they hadn’t just been dealt a devastating blow, Debbie, once again, tried to reason with her.</p><p class="p1">“It’s just a month. You can go wherever you want to go, we’ll pay for it.”</p><p class="p1">Danni sighed, they weren’t going to give it up. It was just a month. So she replied with a terse, ‘fine’.</p><p class="p1">“Good. Now, two more things.”</p><p class="p1">Danni groaned and buried her face in her arms at the news, “what’s next? Therapy?”</p><p class="p1">Debbie and Lou exchanged an amused look at the girl’s theatrics. When they didn’t respond, she looked up in disbelief, “I don’t need a shrink.”</p><p class="p1">“God, she sounds like you,” the remark earned Lou a whack on the arm from her wife.</p><p class="p1">Ever the diplomat (between her and Lou anyway), Debbie spoke up, “look, we’ve been going to therapy and so far it has been very…helpful," it almost looked like it was painful to say, "All we ask is that you meet her, if you hate it, you don’t have to go back.”</p><p class="p1">“Oh my god,” she groaned again, there were too many conditions. They were the ones who had asked her to come back, “<em>fine</em>. Are we done here?”</p><p class="p1">She stood to go.</p><p class="p1">“No, sit back down, please,” Debbie hadn’t snapped, her voice stayed level and calm, but Danni sat immediately, eyes wide. The speed at which she’d complied would’ve been funny had they not known why. Her instincts taking over, Danni sat, her back ramrod straight as she stared down at the shaking hands in her lap.</p><p class="p1">“Danni,” Lou’s spoke softly as if speaking to skittish animal, “look up, please.”</p><p class="p1">Again, the girl complied immediately, looking a touch fearful. Because for all the control she had and all the masks she wore, there were just some things that she couldn’t make go away.</p><p class="p1">“You’re not in trouble,” she didn’t look convinced, “look, what you did was…bad, but we still love you.”</p><p class="p1">Danni’s skeptical gaze flicked between the two women, unable to decide whether or not to believe them. Seeing that the teen wasn’t going to reply, Debbie swiftly took over from her wife.</p><p class="p1">“That being said, some things will have to change. There will be no more lies. If you lie to us, you will have 12 hours to fess up before we confront you. And believe me, we will always know. Okay?”</p><p class="p1">Though she knew it was not Debbie’s intention, Danni heard the threat loud and clear. Unable to suppress a shiver at the woman’s words, she nodded, “no more lies.”</p><hr/><p class="p1">“Alright, private or public?”</p><p class="p1">It had only been a few hours since their morning chat, and Debbie and Lou had already enlisted Nine Ball to help them find and subsequently enroll Danni in the school of her choosing.</p><p class="p1">“Private,” it was an easy answer. She’d been attending private schools her entire life and found it easier to deal with as few people as possible.</p><p class="p1">After Nine Ball pulled up her options, Danni spent a few minutes of scrolling through them before finally choosing one not too far away. It hadn’t exactly been the most informed choice, but if everything went to plan, she wouldn’t be going there for more than a week.</p><p class="p1">“‘Kay,” Nine Ball pulled up more information that meant absolutely nothing to anyone else in the room, “what name we putting in?”</p><p class="p1">“Danni…Meiers,” her voice went up at the last word, almost questioningly. She looked nervously at Debbie and Lou, but if they were disappointed she didn’t choose their name, they didn’t show it. Lou nodded and shot a reassuring smile at her daughter who relaxed slightly and returned a hesitant one of her own.</p><p class="p1">“Two ’n’s?”</p><p class="p1">“Yup,” Danni watched the screen closely, watching for typos.</p><p class="p1">“Yeah, why do you spell it like that? Isn’t it more common with just ’n’?” Lou leaned back, watching her with interest.</p><p class="p1">“Hmm? Oh, well, when I was little—no, Meiers with an ‘i’—I used to get ‘m’ and ’n’ mixed up, so I wrote Dami a lot. And then I was just embarrassed so I played it off as Danni with two ’n’s.”</p><p class="p1">Lou grinned, glad to hear her daughter had the typical, embarrassing memories from childhood that most people did, “did your parents care that you spelled it differently?”</p><p class="p1">“No, Danni’s always been <em>my</em> name. My parents didn’t really believe in nicknames, so I was always Danica to them. Well, sometimes my mom called me her star. Her <em>shining star</em>,” Danni let out a bitter laugh. She’d always hated that nickname.</p><p class="p1">Before Debbie or Lou could reply, Nine Ball announced she was done, and after a careful check to make sure the information was correct (or at least, whatever they wanted the school to know), Danni was officially enrolled. All she had to do was sign up for her classes and take the necessary placement tests before starting her first day the following Monday, only a few days away.</p><p class="p1">Given the task of choosing her classes, Danni got to work with only minimal complaints, scrolling through the extensive course catalog. There were a few required courses, but other than that, the teen could choose whatever classes she wanted to. It took less than half an hour, she knew what she was looking for. When she finished, she handed it off to Debbie, who, <em>apparently,</em> had to approve and sign it.</p><p class="p1">But as she watched Debbie read over it, her frown deepening, Danni’s confusion grew. She stood awkwardly by the couch Debbie was sitting on, gathering her courage to ask what was wrong.</p><p class="p1">“Is something wrong?”</p><p class="p1">Sensing the girl’s anxiety, Debbie quickly shook her head no and motioned for Danni to come sit next to her. She did, but didn’t lean against her like she would’ve a few months before.</p><p class="p1">“Do you not…approve?” Because no matter how much she tried to convince herself otherwise, Danni did care about their opinions. She craved the approval and pride she’d never been given before.</p><p class="p1">“No, it’s very impressive,” Debbie mused, looking over the paper in her hand once more, “but you don’t need to try and impress us. You know that, right?”</p><p class="p1">Danni nodded and frowned, a little insulted at the idea, “this is what my schedule’s always like.”</p><p class="p1">“Really?” Debbie added one more thing to the list of why she hated the Meiers, “well, do you want it to be like this?”</p><p class="p1">“This is what it’s always like,” she repeated, more than a little confused.</p><p class="p1">“Okay, but you love art, don’t you?” Danni nodded, “so why aren’t you taking an art class?”</p><p class="p1">The girl shrugged, her tone matter-of-fact, “I haven’t taken one in school since it was required. My mom thought it was a waste of time and that I needed to focus on academics.”</p><p class="p1">Debbie sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose, “and did she also say you had to take two languages, an extra science, BC calculus and have no free periods.”</p><p class="p1">“Sort of?” Debbie waited for her to elaborate, “well, she said I had to take Spanish ‘cause it’s useful and would ‘serve me well in the future’. And the French is because my dad’s mom is French and apparently I have to honor my roots or something. I can speak it, but my grammar sucks, so…yeah. The math is just, well I never really liked math, but I’m decent at it, so she had me do pre-algebra and geometry over the summer.”</p><p class="p1">Danni trailed off, waiting for Debbie’s reaction. The woman in question was both stunned at the depth of information she received and absolutely livid at the woman who made Danni’s life a living hell. But she didn’t show it, not wanting to scare the girl. Luckily for her, Danni was nowhere near as talented at reading people as she was at lying, so she wasn’t aware of the anger boiling beneath the woman’s surface.</p><p class="p1">The teen did, however, see the shock and gave a tentative smile, “no more lies, right?”</p><p class="p1">At first, she may not have <strike><span class="s1">wanted</span></strike> acknowledged that she wanted to return to Debbie and Lou, but now that she was there, she was trying. Even though she had no idea what to expect, no idea what Debbie and Lou wanted from her, she was really trying to be good, so they would have a reason to be proud of her.</p><p class="p1">“Right,” Debbie replied with a warm smile of her own, “how about this? You can take whatever class you want, as long as it’s what <em>you</em> want.”</p><p class="p1">“What do you mean?” Her brow furrowed.</p><p class="p1">Debbie grabbed another sheet of paper, a pencil, and the computer Danni had been using to look through the offered classes, “well, do you want to take French <em>and</em> Spanish?”</p><p class="p1">The girl’s eyes widened, as if she had never dreamt of having another option, and Debbie felt her heart break just a little bit more. For a moment, the two warring sides were written across Danni’s face. What she wanted versus what had been drilled into her head for as long as she could remember. Finally, and with great difficulty, Danni shook her head.</p><p class="p1">“Okay, which do you like more?”</p><p class="p1">“Oh, uh, I guess Spanish?” She didn’t want anything to do with the family she left behind, even while she used their name. Because as much as she hated the name, it was still hers and she didn’t have any other to use.</p><p class="p1">Seeing the way she faltered, Debbie was quick to offer another option, “or do you not want either?”</p><p class="p1">Danni looked at her in disbelief before looking away and giving a small nod, her cheeks flushed in shame. <em>Am I really that easy to read?</em></p><p class="p1">It was easy to see that the teen was trying to erase the connections to her parents, and after checking the class list that confirmed her suspicion, Debbie offered one to herself, “do you want to take German? Then I could help if you need it.”</p><p class="p1">“Really?” Danni lit up. From what exactly, Debbie couldn’t say for sure. Was it the connection to her or the offer of support? Whatever it was put her in a much better mood and they quickly finished her new schedule, ending up with a drawing class and one free period. With a flourish, Debbie signed the paper and together, they took it to Nine Ball.</p><p class="p1">After delivering the sheet and hearing Nine Ball’s assurance that she would get every class she asked for, they made their way back to the sitting area. Danni looked everywhere but the older brunette, but after a moment, she met the woman’s gaze, whispering something so quietly Debbie had to strain to hear it.</p><p class="p1">“Thank you,” the girl’s face was the most unguarded Debbie had seen since Danni’s arrival the night before. Almost instinctively, she took a step toward Debbie before stopping herself with an angry look on her face.</p><p class="p1">“Danni,” Debbie held her arms open for the embrace Danni had hoped for. After only a moment’s hesitation, Danni launched herself into the woman’s arms, relaxing as she felt Debbie wrap them around her.</p><p class="p1">Gone was the guarded, surly teen from the morning, in that moment, Danni was still the sweet girl who’d trusted them to keep her safe that they met almost four months before. And for just a second, Debbie could pretend that nothing had changed, that everything hadn’t gone to shit the moment Danni left them.</p><p class="p1">When Danni broke the embrace and wandered off to her room in search of a sweatshirt, Debbie watched her go. And as she did, she felt hope’s warm glow swell in her chest because one by one, the walls and masks were coming down. Their daughter was coming back to them.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>let me know what you thought (bit you loved, bit you hated, bit that you read ¯\_(ツ)_/¯) </p><p>:)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Chapter 17</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>First day at school + first therapy session</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>sorry for the wait. i'm not really sure about some parts of this chapter, but i felt guilty, so here it is</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">When Danni woke up on her first day of school, she was shivering. It was early December and not yet at its coldest, but sometimes it seemed like the heating really didn’t work in the loft. Wrapping a blanket around her, she stumbled down the stairs and all but collapsed at the kitchen table. She buried her head in her arms, not even looking up when a plate was set down in front of her.</p><p class="p1">“Excited?”</p><p class="p1">The only response Debbie received was a groan and a baleful glare shot in her direction. She chuckled and, forgetting herself, gently smoothed the teen’s hair down, the bedhead making it to stick up every which way. In her half-asleep state, Danni leaned into the touch, letting out a little contented noise before yawning widely.</p><p class="p1">“It’s toooo early,” she pulled the blanket tighter around herself and looked around with bleary eyes.</p><p class="p1">Joining them in time to hear the teen’s groaned complaint, Lou smirked and pushed the plate closer to her. Danni’s eyes lit up at the contents of the plate and carefully placed a little dollop of Nutella in a checkerboard pattern on the waffle. Then, after strategically placing her banana slices, she dug in.</p><p class="p1">“Have you got everything you need?”</p><p class="p1">“Uh huh,” she tried answering Lou with her mouth full. Over the weekend, they went back to the apartment she had shared with Skye to pick up her things and, of course, to spend some time with the cutest cat in the world (in Danni’s opinion), who unfortunately (also Danni’s opinion) still wasn’t allowed at the loft.</p><p class="p1">“Why don’t you go get ready, we’re leaving in 15 minutes,” seeing that Danni’s plate was almost empty, Debbie gently shooed her away.</p><p class="p1">When Danni came back down almost 13 minutes later, backpack in hand, she was met at the door by both Debbie and Lou.</p><p class="p1">“Oh, we is…” she gestured at the three of them, “us.”</p><p class="p1">“What, did you really think we were going to miss your first day of school?”</p><p class="p1">Danni shrugged, “it’s the middle of the school year.”</p><p class="p1">“It’s a new school,” Debbie countered. She took a quick look at the teen clad in a sweatshirt and leggings, “is that what you’re wearing?”</p><p class="p1">The moment the words left her mouth, she mentally kicked herself, realizing how they sounded. Danni blushed and looked down at herself self-consciously, “do I look bad?”</p><p class="p1">Just as Debbie was opening her mouth to reassure her that she looked fine, Lou beat her to it, “no, you look great. What Debbie <em>meant</em>,” she shot the woman in question a look, “was that, don’t you think you’ll be cold?”</p><p class="p1">“Oh, probably,” She shrugged, “I don’t have a coat, though.”</p><p class="p1">Eager to make up for her earlier mistake, Debbie quickly went up to her room and grabbed a discarded black parka. It wasn’t really her style and besides, it was a bit too small for her. One of the unfortunate downsides to shoplifting was that you couldn’t exactly try something on to see if it fit.</p><p class="p1">But, luckily for them because they really had to go, it fit Danni almost perfectly, reaching mid thigh. Finally all bundled up, they drove to her new school. When they arrived, she hopped out, intent on joining the other teenagers steadily streaming into the building.</p><p class="p1">“Aren’t you forgetting something?”</p><p class="p1">Danni turned to see Debbie standing outside of the idling car, “don’t think so.”</p><p class="p1">Debbie opened her arms, a daring glint in her eyes. The teen narrowed her eyes, seeing the challenge for what it was, and easily stepped into the embrace. Thinking it was just a quick hug, she tried to pull away, only to be stopped by Debbie’s arms locking around her. But she didn’t panic, waiting to see what the woman wanted. And even after all her months away, being held by Debbie still felt...safe.</p><p class="p1">“You don’t have to be perfect,” Debbie spoke softly, words only meant for the two of them. The teen in her arms felt yet another one of her walls crumbling to dust because ever since she returned, Debbie seemed to pick up on her fears, anxieties, everything.</p><p class="p1">“Yes, I do.”</p><p class="p1">“No,” she spoke with such conviction that Danni startled and stared up at her with wide eyes, “you don’t. Just do your best, we’re already so proud of you.”</p><p class="p1">Danni wanted to scream or run far far away until this life was just a tiny speck on the horizon. Anything to stop her from hearing those words. She didn’t understand why. How could they be proud of her when she ran away and disappointed them time and time again? And why was Debbie saying them? Those words never came without a price, that Danni knew for certain.</p><p class="p1">“Have a good day, we’ll be here at 3:30 to pick you up,” Debbie let go of her daughter, though not before planting an obnoxiously loud kiss on the top of her head, delighting in the way Danni’s face turned pink.</p><p class="p1">“Debbie!” The teen looked frantically at the students milling around, hoping none of them had seen that particular display of affection. Just because she wasn’t planning on staying at that school for long didn’t mean she wanted to be made fun of by everyone on her first day.</p><p class="p1">Debbie knew she wasn’t really mad though, she had been given one last smile and a quick ‘bye’ before Danni rushed off to join the other students.</p><p class="p1">Getting back in the car, Debbie turned to Lou with a shit-eating grin on her face, “I’ve always wanted to do that.”</p><p class="p1">“Do what?”</p><p class="p1">“Embarrass my kid on her first day of school.”</p>
<hr/><p class="p1">When Debbie and Lou pulled up in front of the school at 3:37 (they may’ve gotten a bit…distracted), they saw Danni standing apart from the other students, watching the line of cars anxiously. The moment she saw them, however, she visibly relaxed and gave them a small wave. Shouldering her bag, she made her way to the car through the throng of students.</p><p class="p1">“How was school?”</p><p class="p1">“Fine,” Danni shrugged, but there was something in her voice that made Debbie turn in her seat. She sounded exhausted. And when Debbie turned and caught sight of her, she couldn’t help but feel sympathetic. Leaning her head against the window, Danni stared at the passing sights with heavy lidded eyes. But even half-closed, they could see her watching them out of the corner of her eye.</p><p class="p1">Lou glanced in her rearview mirror, hoping to catch the teen’s eye, “you alright?”</p><p class="p1">She nodded slowly. It wasn't technically a lie. In the greater scheme of things, she was alright. She had a good life with Debbie and Lou, a job she enjoyed, a fallback plan if things didn’t work out. But in that moment, she was just so tired. Spending all day with unfamiliar people in an unfamiliar setting was draining. Add in the fact that those people were teenagers and it was a high school and she was completely spent.</p><p class="p1">“How were your classes, did you make any new friends?” Debbie realized just how parent-y that sounded, but it was too late to take them back. God, she was turning into Tammy. At least she would never drink one of those awful green smoothies Tammy was always going on about, they were disgusting. Honestly, why put spinach or kale in a smoothie when you could…not.</p><p class="p1">“Can’t I just go back to online school?” Danni didn’t look at them as she asked her quiet plea.</p><p class="p1">Debbie sighed and exchanged a look with Lou, raising an eyebrow at her wife in a silent question.</p><p class="p1">Answering both their questions, Lou spoke to Danni, “we talked about this, just try.”</p><p class="p1">“You need friends your own age,” Debbie gently reminded her.</p><p class="p1">It did not have the intended effect. Danni scowled and muttered darkly, “I don’t need anyone.”</p><p class="p1">“Then why did you come back?”</p><p class="p1">The teen didn’t respond, turning back to the window. The rest of the drive was spent in tense silence. When they arrived and went inside, as if Danni’s day couldn’t get any worse, Constance was there, waiting for them. She really didn’t want to have to deal with an angry Constance, not after having to deal with people all day.</p><p class="p1">Though perhaps not their best idea, Debbie and Lou disappeared up the stairs to give Danni and Constance their privacy and pretend that they weren’t going to eavesdrop on their conversation. Dropping her bag on the ground next to her, Danni propped herself up on the edge of the couch and folded her arms across her chest.</p><p class="p1">“Constance,” she acknowledged her cooly.</p><p class="p1">“Danni.”</p><p class="p1">Seconds passed in their silent stand-off. Finally, Danni broke it, “why’re you still mad?”</p><p class="p1">Constance scoffed incredulously, “why am I mad? Seriously? You lied to us for a month and you, what? Think you can come back, just like that?”</p><p class="p1">“It wasn’t personal.” Wrong answer.</p><p class="p1">Constance’s voice was gradually rising in volume, “wasn’t personal? Tell me what about that wasn’t personal, you psychopath!”</p><p class="p1">Psychopath. It was one she heard before, but never from Constance. She had hoped that was one of the things she left behind when she ran away from home. Guess not. And even after hearing it as many times as she had, it still carried a weight she hadn’t expected it to. So, with the hurt shining in her eyes, Danni did the only thing she could. She laughed.</p><p class="p1">It started with a chuckle that slowly grew, gathering volume and hysteria, until she was doubled over, clutching her stomach and cackling like a madwoman. When she finally composed herself, Constance was staring at her like she’d grown an extra head.</p><p class="p1">Wiping a few reflex tears away, she grabbed her school bag and pushed past Constance. With a hard stare that contradicted the state she’d been in only moments before, she said, in a cold, flat voice, “ha ha…good one.”</p>
<hr/><p class="p1">The next couple days passed with minimal complications. Constance hadn’t come back to the loft since that day and Danni appeared to be settling in at school, though she refused to talk about it with them. They were really just basing it off the lack of irate calls they received from the principal. And although they were glad she didn’t seem to actively hate school, they had no idea how she was going to react to therapy.</p><p class="p1">When they arrived at the therapist’s building, they were directed to sit in the small waiting room outside of the doctor’s office. During their thankfully short wait, Danni distracted herself by staring at the pictures on the wall, ignoring the women with her. Luckily for her, they didn’t mind the silence that surrounded them.</p><p class="p1">Finally, after ten minutes or so, their wait was over. Danni had been half-expecting a little grey man armed with the Rorschach test and the annoying habit of psychoanalyzing her every move. So when a short, blonde woman with a bright smile and a bit too much energy greeted them, she was pleasantly surprised.</p><p class="p1">“Hi, I’m Dr. Linda Martin, you can call me Dr. Linda” her voice was warm and welcoming as she stretched a hand out toward the teen.</p><p class="p1">“Hi, I’m Danni. It’s nice to meet you,” she shook the woman’s hand firmly, but politely, throwing in a charming smile for good measure, just like she’d been taught. Even with heels on, Linda was still an inch or two shorter than the teen, though Danni was careful not to look down on her, her mother’s words ringing in her ears. <em>Be gracious, but never condescending.</em></p><p class="p1">“Debbie, Lou! Good to see you,” she turned her warm gaze on the two women.</p><p class="p1">“Hey,” Lou gave her a cool nod before turning to Danni, “we’ll be out here, alright?”</p><p class="p1">“Sure,” Danni gave them a small smile, seemingly unconcerned with the whole situation. Familiar with her defensive mechanisms, Debbie and Lou saw the walls going up. They could only hope that it was for Linda’s sake, not their own.</p><p class="p1">“Okay, why don’t you come back here with me, Danni, and we can get started.”</p><p class="p1">Danni fought the urge to roll her eyes at the woman’s enthusiasm and followed her into her office. It was…nicer than expected with its warm colors and red-brown panelling. There was a couch, which Danni had expected from her basic knowledge of therapy, but it wasn’t one of the reclining ones she’d seen in the movies.</p><p class="p1">“I don’t have to lie down, right?” She tried to cover up her uncertainty with a joking manner.</p><p class="p1">“No, no, of course not,” Dr. Linda gestured at the couch, “have a seat.”</p><p class="p1">She rummaged around in her desk for something before triumphantly pulling out a small jar, “would you like a chocolate?”</p><p class="p1">Danni answered almost instinctively, “no thank you, I’m allergic.”</p><p class="p1">No one questioned an “allergy”.</p><p class="p1">“So, Danni, why don’t you tell me a little bit about yourself,” Linda seated herself in an arm chair across from her with a little pad of paper in her lap. </p><p class="p1">“Well, I’m not sure how much Debbie and Lou have told you, but I’m 15 and a sophomore in high school. Um, I like to draw and I have a cat…sort of.”</p><p class="p1">“You have a cat? What’s its name?”</p><p class="p1">Though she knew that it was just Linda’s way of getting her to open up, Danni had to keep up the act, “Fitz.”</p><p class="p1">“Cute.”</p><p class="p1">Danni nodded awkwardly. After a beat of silence, she spoke up, “Dr. Linda? What are we supposed to talk about here?”</p><p class="p1">“We can talk about whatever you want.”</p><p class="p1">Internally groaning at the non-answer, Danni tried again, “okay, but Debbie and Lou have probably told you about me, right? So what do <em>you</em> think we should talk about?”</p><p class="p1">The doctor folded her hands over her lap and regarded her curiously with a sympathetic look in her eyes, “I understand that you recently lost someone very close to you.”</p><p class="p1">“Yes,” she fought to stay composed.</p><p class="p1">“Would you like to discuss that? How are you feeling?”</p><p class="p1">“Fine,” she ground out, when in fact, she wasn’t. She still felt like she was missing a piece of herself. And yes, there were days when she almost felt like herself again, but afterwards, the pain increased tenfold. Because she forgot.</p><p class="p1">If Linda saw right through her empty words, she didn’t call her out on it, “good. Though Debbie and Lou did express some concerns to me about self harm behaviors and suicidal thoughts.”</p><p class="p1">Her voice stayed light as she watched the teen with caring eyes. Danni was still trying to figure out if it was all a ruse. They didn’t know each other, why should Linda care?</p><p class="p1">“Is there <em>anything</em> you don’t know about me?” She blurted out, hand flying to her mouth in shock. She hadn’t meant to say that.</p><p class="p1">But Linda wasn’t offended, it wasn’t healthy for people to keep their feelings bottled up, especially not teens, “of course, there’s a lot I don’t know.”</p><p class="p1">Danni nodded, looking at the ground. Thinking about the woman’s words, she suddenly felt the need to defend herself, “I’m not suicidal. I mean...I wouldn't. I just—” Linda waited patiently, giving her a chance to explain herself, but she didn’t continue.</p><p class="p1">“If you’re not ready, you don’t need to make yourself talk about it, we’ll do this at your pace. These types of behaviors, however, are extremely destructive, not only to yourself, but to your friends and family. They worry about you,” it wasn’t her intention to make the teen feel guilty, only to understand the consequences of her behavior.</p><p class="p1">“I know,” the words were barely more than a whisper.</p><p class="p1">“We can use these sessions to work through it, to really get down to the root of the problem, but I understand that it takes time. So, for now, I think we should devise a system that you can use instead of resorting to self-harm. Does that sound alright with you?”</p><p class="p1">Danni nodded, but stayed quiet.</p><p class="p1">“Good, now before we start, can you tell me what usually happens? What you do, how you’re feeling, and if you can, what you think triggers the response,” Linda had her notepad and pen out and at the ready.</p><p class="p1">“I guess when I have like really strong emotions, I just want to drown it all out. So I hit stuff,” Danni shrugged, losing her earlier confidence and shrinking into herself.</p><p class="p1">“So things like anger, grief, guilt?” Danni gave another half-hearted shrug, “and would you say you do it more for the action of hitting something or the resulting pain?”</p><p class="p1">Linda’s voice was calm and non-judgmental, but Danni still felt her cheeks burn with embarrassment as she muttered her answer, “I don’t know.”</p><p class="p1">“That’s okay, that’s why I’m here, to help you figure it out,” she gave the teen a reassuring smile, “now, why don’t we get started on this list.”</p><p class="p1">For the final portion of their hour, Danni, with Linda’s help, came up with a list of things she could try when overwhelmed. The list, which included things like exercise, meditation, journalling, and even hitting something like a pillow, wasn’t perfect, but after trying them out, Danni could decide which she wanted to keep and which she wanted to discard.</p><p class="p1">When their hour was finally up, Linda escorted Danni back to the waiting area and asked Debbie and Lou into her office to discuss the session (sans details due to patient confidentiality and all that).</p><p class="p1">“Before I begin, do you two have any questions for me?” Like she had with Danni, Linda sat opposite the couch, speaking with her warm, reassuring ‘therapist’ voice.</p><p class="p1">Lou spared a glance to her wife who motioned for her to go first, “do you think this could actually help? She wasn’t exactly keen on the whole idea of therapy.”</p><p class="p1">“I really think it will. You’ve mentioned she’s had panic attacks and is often wary around you and we discussed the self harm tendencies today. If she lets herself talk about so we can really get to the root of the problem, it will allow for a stronger foundation of trust. Debbie, do you have any questions, concerns?”</p><p class="p1">“No, no, go ahead,” she said, more interested in hearing what a professional had to say first.</p><p class="p1">“Okay, great. First I actually wanted to ask you two something. Is Danni allergic to chocolate?”</p><p class="p1">If confused at the unexpected question, neither woman showed it, “no, she eats Nutella out of the jar.”</p><p class="p1">Her suspicions confirmed, Linda continued, “well then, one of the first things I noticed about her is that she lies…a lot. Now, I hesitate to classify her as a compulsive or even pathological liar because of what you’ve told me about her past. Her lies appear to be calculated, not uncontrollable like you might find with a compulsive liar and they are clearly purposeful, while we’ve found that many pathological liars lie without a reason.”</p><p class="p1">Linda paused, making sure they were following, “I believe that Danni, like many other children who come from abusive homes, lies to protect herself. And it’s something she can control when she may’ve never had anything else. If you want, we can talk about how to handle this when you’re at home.”</p><p class="p1">“We actually already have a system in place at home, but we haven’t had a chance to try it out yet.”</p><p class="p1">The doctor’s attention turned to Debbie and gave her a warm smile, “that’s great to hear. Would you mind telling me about it?”</p><p class="p1">“Danni knows that we know when she’s lying, so if she lies, she has 12 hours before we confront her. And if she tells us in the 12 hours, she won’t be in trouble.”</p><p class="p1">“Does she know that?”</p><p class="p1">“Hmm?”</p><p class="p1">“Have you explicitly told her that she won’t get in trouble? Does she know what happens if she tells you after the 12 hours are up?”</p><p class="p1">Lou answered for her, “no.”</p><p class="p1">“Then I would recommend making sure she knows. Again, I can’t speak to her experiences, but what I’ve seen in many children who come from abusive situations is that they don’t like uncertainty. They’re used to rules and punishments if they break said rules, so I believe Danni, especially now, would benefit from knowing what’s expected of her.”</p><p class="p1">Realization dawned on their faces. Linda’s words had taken them back to August’s cat incident.</p><p class="p1">“And if we just want her to trust us?”</p><p class="p1">Linda gave them a sad smile, “she’ll say she’ll try, but she won’t understand.”</p><p class="p1">“How do we make her understand?”</p><p class="p1">“You can’t <em>make</em> her,” she gently reminded them, “but you can <em>show</em> her that she’s safe and loved. You can’t force anything, it will take time, but as long as you don’t give up, you’ll see progress.”</p><p class="p1">With a glance at her wife, Lou could see the impatience, the need to demand for answers that only disappeared during a heist. But before Debbie had a chance to do that, Lou smoothly stood and held a hand out for Linda to shake, “thanks. We should get going, I’m sure Danni has work to do. We’ll talk to her, and if she wants to do more, we’ll see you next Wednesday.”</p><p class="p1">Linda walked them to the door, poking her head out to say goodbye to Danni, “bye, Danni. It was nice meeting you.”</p><p class="p1">“It was great meeting you too, Dr. Linda!” She ignored the looks Debbie and Lou gave her for her false enthusiasm.</p><p class="p1">“So,” Lou slung a casual arm over the teen’s shoulder as they walked to the car, “did you hate it?”</p><p class="p1">Danni let out an exaggerated sigh and pretended to think about it before begrudgingly replying, “no, I guess not.”</p><p class="p1">“Good, we’ll come back next week.”</p><p class="p1">The small smile that had appeared on the teen’s face slipped for a moment and she shrugged, “whatever. Can we just go home now?”</p><p class="p1"><em>Home</em>. Danni froze, she hadn’t meant to say that. Glancing between the two, she tried to gauge their reactions.</p><p class="p1">Debbie didn’t need to see her wife’s face to know it mirrored her own, smile growing larger and just a bit more genuine by the second and eyes filled with the kind of love she thought she lost forever.</p><p class="p1">“Yeah,” she turned to her daughter, a grin on her face, “let’s go home.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i love reading your feedback! - (if you liked it, leave a kudos/comment, if you didn't...sorry)</p><p>yes, the therapist is Linda from Lucifer (i was too lazy to actually make a new character)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Chapter 18</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>something happens at school</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>sorry for the wait, I hope it was worth it :)</p><p>bolded dialogue is serbian</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">The next few days were relatively uneventful. Danni would go to school, come back, go to her room for a few hours to do her work, come down for dinner, and spend an hour or so doing German lessons with Debbie so she could catch up with the rest of her class.</p><p class="p1">When she was gone, the house was almost empty, emptier than it had been since the heist. No one came over anymore, so Debbie and Lou spent the days doing their own things. They would occasionally go visit the others, but spent most of their time (respectively) going on little crime sprees and taking care of issues at the club.</p><p class="p1">But they were the kind of people who needed a little action to thrive. And at the end of Danni's first week of school, said action came in the form of a phone call from the school informing them that their presence was needed there.</p><p class="p1">Debbie and Lou quickly made their way to the principal’s office and, seeing Danni leaning against the wall, gave her a confused look. She had been idly picking at her nails with a smug grin on her face that slid away the moment she saw them.</p><p class="p1">“Care to tell us why we’re here?” Lou crossed her arms and fixed her with an unimpressed stare. They had seen the grin.</p><p class="p1">She shrugged, her face the picture of innocence. And before they could continue their interrogation, the door swung open and the principal ushered them in. A fairly short, middle aged woman with greying hair, she oozed both insincerity and some cheap, flowery perfume that made them want to gag.</p><p class="p1">“Welcome, Ms. Ocean, Ms. Miller. I’m Mrs. Carr. Come in, come in,” she shot an icy look at the waiting teen, “<em>you</em> may wait out here, Ms. Meiers.”</p><p class="p1">Taking a seat on the ground and pulling out her phone, Danni gave them a cheeky wave. They ignored it, following the principal into her office.</p><p class="p1">“So,” she took a seat behind her desk and motioned for Debbie and Lou to sit, “we need to discuss Danni’s conduct. I believe my secretary has already filled you in on what happened.”</p><p class="p1">“No, <em>actually</em> your secretary was incredibly vague on the phone,” Debbie replied shortly.</p><p class="p1">“Ah, well, Ms. Ocean—”</p><p class="p1">“—Ocean-Miller.”</p><p class="p1">“Excuse me?”</p><p class="p1">“It’s Mrs. Ocean-Miller,” Debbie spoke slowly, delighting in the way the principal’s face went from confusion to shock back to confusion, before finally settling in her original insincere happy expression.</p><p class="p1">“Of course,” she gave them a fake smile, “anyway, as I was saying, Danni’s teachers have expressed concerns about her. Apparently, she spends most of her classes either sleeping or off in her own world, she doesn’t do her homework, but she’s never gotten below a 95 on a pop quiz. If you take that and her transcript from her last school into account, it’s become clear to us that she’s just not trying.”</p><p class="p1">“You asked us here to tell us <em>that</em>?” The secretary had made the situation seem a lot more dire.</p><p class="p1">“Well, no. You see, originally, we believed that all her issues would be resolved after she settled in, started making some new friends. Unfortunately, things…escalated today when she physically assaulted another student.”</p><p class="p1">They stared at her in shock, it didn’t sound like something Danni would do. Lou recovered from her shock first, “she what?”</p><p class="p1">“Danni kicked one of her male classmates in the…groin area,” her face twisted in distaste at the action, “but since it is her first week here and we believe the action was not entirely unprovoked, she will be doing two days of out of school suspension and one of in-school suspension that will begin after the weekend. If this ever happens again, however, she will face immediate expulsion.”</p><p class="p1">Though the words were threatening, the principal kept her voice light and cheery as if delivering good news. Still slightly in shock, Debbie and Lou were shown out of her office. Joining their daughter in the hall, they told her to go get her things and meet them by the car. They needed some time to figure out what they were going to do.</p><p class="p1">When Danni finally trudged over to the car, she looked genuinely nervous. Throughout their drive home, it was like she had become a shell of herself, reverting to the withdrawn girl they’d taken to the doctor’s office back in July. Keeping Dr. Linda’s advice in mind, <em>don’t push her to talk, especially when in situations she already associates with negative experiences, she’ll only pull away</em>, they carefully avoided the conversation they needed to have about her suspension.</p><p class="p1">Pulling up at the loft, Danni immediately leapt from the car and went inside, closely followed by both Debbie and Lou. Just as she was running up the stairs, Lou called to her.</p><p class="p1">“Danni, can we talk, please?”</p><p class="p1">She froze, just for a moment, her hand gripping the bannister, before quickly continuing up to her room and roughly closing the door. None of the rooms had locks, but they heard the telltale scrape of furniture being moved.</p><p class="p1">Debbie and Lou glanced worriedly at each other. That hadn’t been an angry teenager going up to her room for some space, that had been a terrified girl going to hide in her room so they wouldn’t be able to get to her.</p><p class="p1">“Danni, are you okay?” They gently knocked on the door, not expecting an answer. But perhaps as a testament to the progress they’d made, they heard a quiet reply.</p><p class="p1">“You’re mad,” Danni sat hugging her knees with her back pressed against her bed, staring at the door.</p><p class="p1">“We’re not mad,” Debbie tried to reassure her, sitting by the door with her back to the wall and motioning for Lou to do the same.</p><p class="p1">But Danni continued as if she hadn’t heard, “I didn’t think you’d be mad.” </p><p class="p1">“We’re not mad,” Lou echoed her wife’s words. But there was no answer. Glancing at Debbie and lacing their fingers together, Lou tried again, “we’re not mad. We’re a bit…disappointed by what we heard, but we just want to hear your side of the story, love.”</p><p class="p1">“Why,” she spoke so quietly they almost didn’t hear her.</p><p class="p1">“‘Cause it’s the only one we care about.”</p><p class="p1">Lou’s words were, once again, met by silence. But this time, they waited, wanting her to be the one to continue. Finally, after sitting in silence for a few minutes, they heard shuffling noises and the scrape as whatever was blocking the door was pushed away.</p><p class="p1">But she didn’t open the door, so they waited. She had to be the one to let them into her space. They heard her settle down against the door, a position that was both unsafe and a comfort. Unsafe because anyone strong enough could shove the door open, slamming it into her, and a comfort because of its proximity to the two women.</p><p class="p1">“I thought that if I got expelled, you would let me go back to online schooling,” her voice remained steady, unlike the irregular beating of her heart.</p><p class="p1">“And why’d you kick your classmate in the balls?”</p><p class="p1">Danni hesitated, choosing her words wisely, “I already told Mrs. Carr that he was coming onto me and it made me…uncomfortable.”</p><p class="p1">But she shouldn’t have thought she could trick them, “and is that what happened?”</p><p class="p1">“I’m not allowed to lie, right?”</p><p class="p1">Lou shook her head in amusement, it was just like dealing with Debbie. But Debbie, whose own stubbornness and ability to talk around people easily rivaled Danni’s, didn’t give up, “well technically, you’re not. But I want to know what happened, not what you told the principal.”</p><p class="p1">“He came on to me, and he was really…crude and arrogant. So I kicked him in the crotch. I didn’t even do it that hard,” it wasn’t exactly a lie, she had left out a few major details, but they seemed to accept it.</p><p class="p1">“What’s so wrong with school?” Lou asked, swatting Debbie who was giving her a look. They both had more than enough reasons to justify…strongly disliking school.</p><p class="p1">“I don’t know,” she muttered.</p><p class="p1">“Look, we asked you to try, and you obviously didn’t. So—” Debbie was cut off.</p><p class="p1">“<b>—I’m sorry.</b>”</p><p class="p1">“What was that?” She only ever lapsed into Serbian (they had Nine Ball pull up some of her records) when really tired or afraid.</p><p class="p1">“I’m sorry,” she repeated in English, but the words sounded dull, rehearsed.</p><p class="p1">“It’s okay, but you have to give the school a chance.”</p><p class="p1">They heard her head fall back against the door, “<b>fuck</b>.”</p><p class="p1">Lou had to smother a grin, they knew exactly what that meant. But it was good that she was feeling brave enough to swear around them, even if she didn’t think they would understand. They fell into a comfortable silence, but after a few moments, Danni spoke up, her voice nervous and unsure.</p><p class="p1">“Am I in trouble?” The words took them back to the cat incident of the summer.</p><p class="p1">“You were suspended,” Lou reminded her.</p><p class="p1">“I know, but am I in trouble,” she hesitated then continued, her voice quieter than before, “with you?”</p><p class="p1">The two women shared a look, was it really their place to do that anymore? They spent the next few minutes locked in a completely silent argument, mouthing at each other and sending meaningful looks at each other. It ended when Lou threw her hands up in defeat and gestured at the door, mouthing, ‘you’re telling her then.”</p><p class="p1">“You’re not grounded or anything, but we're going to do backpack checks to make sure you’re actually doing your work,” they heard a quiet groan from the other side of the door, “we’re trusting you to turn it in, though. Does that sound fair to you?”</p><p class="p1">“I guess so,” she did not sound enthused.</p><p class="p1">“Good, dinner’s at 7:00,” Lou stood, realizing they weren’t getting a better answer than that. All they could do was hope that Danni would actually show up to the meal.</p>
<hr/><p class="p1">Danni didn’t leave her room for the next few hours, and as it grew later, they became more and more convinced that she wouldn’t show up. But, to their surprise, at 7:00 pm on the dot, she appeared in the kitchen door, a wary look in her eye, but looking none the worse for wear. And they checked, making her reach across the table to reach the food she wanted. When her sweater sleeves slid past her knuckles, revealing a surprising lack of new bruising or cuts, they were able to breathe a sigh of relief (discreetly, of course).</p><p class="p1">The meal was quieter than most, lacking the usual banter and laughter it usually had. Danni remained withdrawn for the most part, giving one or two syllable answers when Debbie or Lou tried to include her in their conversation. Eventually, she quietly asked to be excused and went back up to her room, leaving the two adults to cast worried looks at each other and her retreating back. They didn’t see her for the rest of the night, not even for her German lesson.</p><p class="p1">Sometime later that night, around midnight, Lou was called away to deal with an ‘emergency’ at the club, leaving Debbie with strict instructions to go to bed and not wait up. Their conversation, unbeknownst to them, was heard by a certain teenager who wasn’t quite as asleep as they believed.</p><p class="p1">Waiting until she was sure Debbie was in her room and hopefully sleeping, Danni crept out into the hallway and began to descend the stairs. But unlike she had all those months ago, she forgot to skip the third to last step, freezing when it squeaked loudly under her foot.</p><p class="p1">With a quick glance around, she relaxed, not seeing anything out of the ordinary and continued, albeit slower than before. By the time she reached the door, she had slowed drastically, almost dragging her feet. She wanted to stay. But with a small shake, she steeled herself and grasped the doorknob.</p><p class="p1">“Leaving so soon?”</p><p class="p1">Danni let her hand fall from the doorknob and turned around. Debbie stood in the middle of the sitting area in a pair of sweatpants and one of Lou’s old t-shirts, looking nothing like the put together woman she usually was. And though her hair was mussed by sleep and she had dark circles under her eyes, she watched Danni with alert, dark eyes capable of piercing her soul and leaving her exposed and vulnerable.</p><p class="p1">“I can’t stay,” Danni said, as if it was an acceptable explanation.</p><p class="p1">But Debbie just stared at her with those searching eyes, “you promised us a month.”</p><p class="p1">“I know.”</p><p class="p1">“Why?” Debbie’s voice cracked, but she didn’t care anymore. She didn’t care if Danni saw her at her weakest, as long as she didn’t leave. She didn’t know if she could survive being left behind again.</p><p class="p1">Danni looked away, shaking her head, “I was stupid to think I could just come back and everything would be fine. No one comes over anymore, and when they do, they walk on eggshells around me. Constance hates my guts. You and Lou are acting like nothing happened and I’m still Danni <em>fucking </em>Reynolds. But I’m not her, things can’t just go back to the way the were.”</p><p class="p1">“Then let’s start over.”</p><p class="p1">“How?” Danni asked, disbelief clear in her voice.</p><p class="p1">Debbie stood and moved halfway in between them, offering a hand for Danni to shake, “hi, Debbie Ocean.”</p><p class="p1">After only a moment of hesitation, Danni crossed the rest of the distance to Debbie and took her hand, “Danica Meiers, call me Danni.”</p><p class="p1">“You’re still leaving,” it wasn’t a question.</p><p class="p1">There was a long silence as Danni fought her instinct to run, staring at Debbie with watchful eyes. Finally, she let out a long exhalation and gave a small nod, letting their new beginning be a truthful one, “I’m scared.”</p><p class="p1">“Why can’t we help you? What are you so scared of?” She was practically pleading with the girl. And Debbie Ocean did not plead.</p><p class="p1">The whispered answer was too quiet for Debbie to hear. She took a step closer and asked again. This time, when Danni answered, Debbie heard her loud and clear, her heart dropping.</p><p class="p1">
  <em>“You.”</em>
</p><p class="p1">There was silence.</p><p class="p1">Taking a seat on the arm of one of the armchairs, Debbie put her head in her hands, “why?”</p><p class="p1">With an anxious glance at the door, Danni awkwardly shifted on her feet. There wasn’t any harm in telling the truth, she was already leaving, “because…because for almost six years, you planned how to ruin Claude Becker’s life. I know you’re mad, you Oceans don’t let things go.”</p><p class="p1">Debbie looked up sharply, a hard glint in her eye, “I’m not mad.”</p><p class="p1">She scoffed, but when she spoke, her voice was far from derisive, merely resigned, “how long did it take you to find me?”</p><p class="p1">“A couple weeks,” Debbie knew where this was going.</p><p class="p1">“So what was happening the two and a half months before that?”</p><p class="p1">“Danni,” she sighed, wanting nothing more than to forget that time, “I forgave you.”</p><p class="p1">“Why?” She asked harshly, almost shouting, “what makes me so different from him?!”</p><p class="p1">Striding to the girl, Debbie took Danni’s face in her hands and gently brushed away a stray tear, the first tear she had shed in months, “everything. You’re still our daughter, Danni.”</p><p class="p1">Danni stepped away from her, her lips twisting into a rueful smile as she shook her head, “I was never your daughter.”</p><p class="p1">“You really think that?”</p><p class="p1">“<em>Elle </em>was your daughter. But if you’re talking about the summer, you loved Danni Reynolds, <em>she</em> was your daughter, not Danica Meiers,” she said it matter-of-factly, all hint of emotion from her earlier outburst gone.</p><p class="p1">“No.”</p><p class="p1">“You’re looking for Danni Reynolds, <em>not</em> Danica Meiers.”</p><p class="p1">“No.”</p><p class="p1">“You don’t want me, you want her,” she spoke in that same flat tone, as if discussing the weather or something equally unimportant.</p><p class="p1">“No, you’re the same person!” Debbie didn’t know who she was trying to convince more. But it didn’t matter because the moment she opened her mouth again, Danni smoothly interjected.</p><p class="p1">“We may look the same, act the same, have the same…<em>tragic</em> backstory, but we are <em>not</em> the same person,” Danni spoke slowly, the way one might speak to a very small child, drilling in the point with each word.</p><p class="p1">Ignoring the condescending tone Danni took with her, Debbie met her gaze, “we knew what we were doing when we came looking for you. We want <em>you</em>.”</p><p class="p1">“You can't,” Another small smile that didn’t quite reach her dark eyes.</p><p class="p1">“You don't believe us,” it wasn't a question. Debbie nodded her head in resignation, “and you don't believe us when we say we love you or we’re proud of you. You don’t believe us when we say you’re safe and we’ll protect you from everything bad in the world, do you?”</p><p class="p1">“Should I?”</p><p class="p1">“Yes…you should,” Debbie fought to keep her voice level, only being partially successful.</p><p class="p1">Danni sighed and looked away, her finger unconsciously moving to rub her scarred knuckle, “look, I’ll hold up my end of the deal, you’ll have my share of the money back by Sunday.”</p><p class="p1">Frustrated at the girl’s stubbornness and avoidance, Debbie was barely holding herself back, “we don’t <em>care</em> about the money, keep it. We want <em>you</em>.”</p><p class="p1">Danni, on the other hand, couldn’t hold back any longer. She didn’t dare yell, but it was a close thing.</p><p class="p1">“Why?! You don’t even fucking know me! You can’t <em>love</em> me or <em>want</em> me or be <em>proud</em> of me! It doesn’t make any sense!” Tears were streaming down her face, but she pushed through, only choking on her words a few times. With a considerably quieter tone, one that turned from rage and confusion to resigned bitterness, she continued, “you’ve known me for, what, a month and some weeks? My parents knew me for over 15 years and they still…couldn’t. So why…why do you care?”</p><p class="p1">She stared at Debbie with tear-filled, beseeching eyes, trembling as she waited for the woman to fill up the silence.</p><p class="p1">Never let it be said that Debbie Ocean was a touchy person. Other than with Lou, she never felt the need to initiate any sort of reassuring contact. Something that said everything would be okay, either for her sake or theirs. But when faced with the small, shaking form of her daughter, all her rules and principles went out the window. All she wanted to do was hold her tight until everything else faded away and it was just them, no one to fight and no one to run from. She just didn’t know if she could anymore.</p><p class="p1">So, slowly, cautiously, Debbie took a step closer to the girl and wrapped her arms around her, half-expecting Danni to push her away. But she didn’t. She stiffened at first, but after a moment of careful deliberation, gingerly returned the embrace, afraid of rejection though she had not been the one to initiate it. The tears began again in earnest, falling almost silently as Danni buried her face into Debbie’s shoulder.</p><p class="p1">“I-It’s not f-fair,” she choked out, sounding years younger than she was.</p><p class="p1">“I know,” she rubbed the girl’s back in a calming circular pattern, adding in a couple of reassuring ‘sh’s, but the tears wouldn’t let up. Danni had almost forgotten what it was like to fall apart, it had been too long, considering how she had felt every day since she left. And it had been even longer since she’d had someone willing to pick up the pieces.</p><p class="p1">“Please…” her whimpered plea almost went unheard, “don’t let go.”</p><p class="p1">“I’m not going anywhere.”</p><p class="p1">This Debbie was a far cry from the one who had panicked at the sight of the girl’s tears all those months ago. While the other would’ve frozen, this Debbie easily maneuvered them to the couch, letting Danni lean against her as she tucked the fluffy throw around them, holding her as she cried and cried until she was out of tears and succumbed to exhaustion, watching as the tension and anxiety drained from the teen’s face as she slipped into a dreamless sleep.</p><p class="p1">When Lou arrived at the loft in the early hours of the morning, having taken care of the problem at the club, and saw Danni’s duffel bag and backpack abandoned on the floor, her eyes frantically searched the room. She knew exactly what they meant. But when she caught sight of Danni, her eyes having to adjust to the darkness of the room, she immediately relaxed.</p><p class="p1">Danni and Debbie were sleeping peacefully curled up together on the couch, all their troubles and worries smoothed over by sleep. With a soft smile (one she knew her wife would tease her about had she been awake), Lou gently brushed a strand of hair from her daughter’s face, speaking softly when she began to stir.</p><p class="p1">“Shhh, it’s alright. Go back to sleep.”</p><p class="p1">Dropping an affectionate kiss on the girl’s forehead, she could’ve sworn she saw the corners of Danni’s mouth turn up slightly, “thank you for staying.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>let me know what you think!</p><p>school finally started, so updates will definitely take longer, sorry :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Chapter 19</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Danni has a friend over</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>italicized dialogue is in French</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">“Can I have a friend over tomorrow?” Danni asked, her question cutting through the comfortable silence they often found themselves in at meals. She had gone back to school the day before and if she was being honest with herself, didn’t hate it as much as she’d convinced herself.</p><p class="p1">“Course you can,” Lou replied quickly, question registering on her face. Danni hadn’t talked about making any new friends.</p><p class="p1">“But what about all the stuff around the house, like in the heist bathroom?” She couldn’t exactly tell her friend that Debbie and Lou were criminals who had successfully stolen over $300 million from the Met.</p><p class="p1">“I’ll clean it up,” Debbie spoke around the food in her mouth. Danni wrinkled her nose at the action, but didn’t comment.</p><p class="p1">“I can do it,” the teen offered nervously, not having intended on making them do anything.</p><p class="p1">“So can I.”</p><p class="p1">She nodded, casting her gaze down, “sorry.”</p><p class="p1">Maybe one day that wouldn’t be her automatic response, but for the time being, Debbie just gave her a small smile, “don’t be.”</p><p class="p1">Nodding again, Danni went back to her food, albeit with less enthusiasm than before.</p><p class="p1">“So,” Debbie drawled, a tiny smirk playing at her lips, “who’s this new friend of yours?”</p><p class="p1">Danni gave her a careful look, and after a moment, shrugged and took of sip of her water, “his name’s Remy.”</p><p class="p1">“French?” Lou asked, Debbie’s curiosity rubbing off on her.</p><p class="p1">“Yeah,” Danni nodded, mentally preparing herself to field off more questions.</p><p class="p1">“How’d you meet?” Food forgotten, Debbie leaned forward, bracing her elbows on the table.</p><p class="p1">“He hit his head on a locker and swore at it…in French. So I asked if he kissed his mother with that mouth and he said, ‘no, of course not. My mother died ten years ago.’”</p><p class="p1">“Cute.”</p><p class="p1">Danni scowled and shot a look at Debbie, “it wasn’t <em>cute</em>, it was awkward and we’re just friends.”</p><p class="p1">Raising her hands in surrender, Debbie let up, “okay, okay. How is he getting here? Are we picking him up with you?”</p><p class="p1">“No it’s fine, he’ll drive me,” she didn’t notice the concerned looks the two women shared. It had taken them a lot of time to make any progress with Danni. Would she really be fine being in the car with someone who was practically still a stranger?</p><p class="p1">“And that’ll be alright?” Lou turned her gaze to the girl, surprised when the only thing she saw in her eyes was confusion.</p><p class="p1">“Yeah, why wou—oh…well,” they could see her hands fidgeting under the table, “it’s not the same.”</p><p class="p1">“Oh,” Lou nodded and tried to push away the twinge Danni’s words caused. The same feeling that both women felt the next day when an old, army green Jeep pulled up in front of the loft and Danni hopped out of the passenger seat, looking completely at ease. Slinging her bag over her shoulder, Danni started toward the house, closely followed by her new friend.</p><p class="p1">“Debbie, Lou?” They quickly pretended that they hadn’t been watching her from the window.</p><p class="p1">“Hey,” Lou greeted them, cooly appraising the teen next to her daughter, “you must be Remy.”</p><p class="p1">He was tall, taller than even Lou by a couple inches, with an athletic build that anyone would be envious of. That combined with his clearly styled dark tousled hair and tanned skin gave him an attractiveness that one might admire from afar, but it was his crooked nose and easy smile that Lou immediately approved of. His entire manner exuded the kind of warmth and easygoingness they knew Danni would benefit from.</p><p class="p1">“Hello Mrs. Ocean-Millers, it’s very nice to meet the both of you,” he spoke with a faint accent curling around his words that years in America hadn’t been able to flatten out.</p><p class="p1">“Call me Lou,” she gave his outstretched hand a firm shake.</p><p class="p1">“Debbie,” she too took his hand, pleasantly surprised by the solid grip.</p><p class="p1">“Is it okay if we go hang out in my room?” Introductions finished, Danni didn’t exactly want to spend her day standing around in the entryway.</p><p class="p1">“You don’t have to ask, love. It’s your room.”</p><p class="p1">“Right,” she eyed Remy for a moment before elbowing him in the side and setting off towards the stairs, “this way, ratboy.”</p><p class="p1">Rolling his eyes good-naturedly, he flashed the two women a quick smile and jogged after Danni. When they heard the girl’s door click shut, Lou frowned and quickly called up to them, “hey, door open.”</p><p class="p1">Satisfied when she saw the door swing open again, Lou made her way back to the sitting area, deliberately ignoring her smirking wife. Unperturbed, Debbie sauntered over to Lou and straddled her in one quick motion, Lou’s arms immediately moving to her wife’s hips.</p><p class="p1">“Look at you going all mama bear, making sure nothing happens up there,” she murmured in her ear, “it’s hot.”</p><p class="p1">“Debs, Danni is right upstairs,” Lou kept her voice low in warning.</p><p class="p1">Clicking her tongue, Debbie pouted, “you’re no fun anymore.”</p><p class="p1">“Oh hon, you know I’m still <em>plenty </em>fu<em>—</em>” her nearly growled answer was cut off abruptly by a hand over her mouth.</p><p class="p1">“Shh…hear that?” Grateful that sound carried extremely well in the loft, Debbie removed her hand from Lou’s mouth and listened carefully to the sounds of voices coming down from the upper level. They were too far away, making the words indistinct, not that it mattered.</p><p class="p1">Perhaps because they knew Debbie and Lou could hear them from the first floor, or perhaps for another reason entirely, Remy and Danni spoke French with one another. And as they talked, the differences in voice and comfort with the language became more and more apparent.</p><p class="p1">With Remy, the sounds seemed made for him, slipping from his mouth to join the others in an easy flowing lilt. For him it was merely a matter of slipping back into his native tongue, a welcome change from the rough, flat sounds of English. But for Danni, it was nowhere near as simple. Her accent not quite perfect, it almost sounded as if the words were forcing themselves from her mouth. And when she strung the words together, they were often broken up by short pauses when she needed to do mental translations or correct her own grammar.</p><p class="p1">It still proved to be an effective way to ward off of eavesdroppers, however, such as the ones down the stairs who were listening intently, focusing more on tone than the words that meant nothing to them.</p><p class="p1">Debbie slid off her wife’s lap and rested her head on Lou’s shoulder with a small smile, “she sounds happy.”</p><p class="p1">Lou had to agree, Danni sounded happy. And not only that, but she sounded more carefree than they’d heard in…well, ever. Lou frowned in thought, she couldn’t begrudge Danni her happiness, but she had to admit, she was a bit jealous…of a teenage boy.</p><p class="p1">Danni always declined the option to sit in the front seat, preferring to sit just slightly out of reach in the back, and yet, she had done it with Remy after only having known him for a little over a week. She never acted as freely around Debbie and Lou as she did with him, and he was helping her associate positive things with a language that she hated. As much as they wanted to, they couldn’t do that for her.</p>
<hr/><p class="p1">“They don’t know?”</p><p class="p1"><em>“French,”</em> Danni hissed, cocking her head toward the open door, “<em>I think they can hear us from…the first level.”</em></p><p class="p1"><em>“Okay, okay. They don’t know?”</em> He asked again dramatically in French.</p><p class="p1">“<em>Don’t know what?”</em> She feigned innocence, stealing a chip from the bag Remy ‘smuggled’ in.</p><p class="p1">“<em>You know what,” </em>he gave her a look, <em>“that we’re both…”</em> pausing, he tried to find another term that wasn’t a cognate in English, “<em>about as straight as a corkscrew.”</em></p><p class="p1">
  <em>“No.”</em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>“Why not? They’re also…straight as corkscrews.”</em>
</p><p class="p1">She shrugged, <em>“I don’t know.”</em></p><p class="p1">Sensing her discomfort, Remy dropped it and steered the topic into safer waters. That was one of the things she liked about him.</p><p class="p1">Danni had technically invited him to hang out, but they still had to get work done. Since they were in the same math class, they did the homework together, only getting distracted a couple times by Remy’s spot on impression of their teacher that left them clutching their stomachs from laughter. And when Danni got stuck on a problem and snapped at Remy for offering to help, he didn’t hesitate to help her when she finally asked after having stared at it for almost ten minutes.</p><p class="p1">After doing some work, the two teens pulled up Netflix and promptly spent over half an hour browsing the shows, unable to decide what to watch. Having to resort to flipping a coin, they finally picked one and settled in to watch.</p><p class="p1">The conversation only cycled back to Debbie and Lou when Danni suggested starting their art projects while they watched. It was the only other class they shared, but Remy only took it because he needed a studio art credit to graduate and wasn’t anywhere near as excited as Danni was.</p><p class="p1">As their big end of semester project, their teacher had tasked them with creating a self portrait that used different, unconventional materials along with the usual ones. Difficult, but not impossible. The real challenge for Danni was what the teacher had said next. <em>Include things that you think represent your family and how they’ve shaped you.</em></p><p class="p1">With a sigh, she grabbed a couple sheets of paper, passing one over to Remy because it would take too long for him to find anything in the mess that was his backpack. Their teacher said she would supply the ‘fancy drawing paper’ when it was time to start, but for the time being, all they had to do was plan it out. Sprawling out on the ground, she began writing a list of her ideas, only stopping when was poked in the back.</p><p class="p1">“Hey, psycho.”</p><p class="p1">“What?”</p><p class="p1">“How do I do this?” He gestured helplessly to his paper where he tried to copy her process and write down what he needed to do.</p><p class="p1">“Can I?” She pointed at his paper. At his nod, she grabbed it and read over it. There were only two words written down. <em>Draw face.</em></p><p class="p1">“What do you think, oh wise and talented artist,” he grinned hopefully at her.</p><p class="p1">Rolling her eyes, she schooched over to where he was leaning against her bed and sat next to him, handing the paper back, “how good are you at drawing faces?”</p><p class="p1">“Bad?”</p><p class="p1">She thought for a moment, “you play lacrosse, right?” He nodded, “maybe you can draw the helmet, so there’d be less face to draw.”</p><p class="p1">“Only if you help me.”</p><p class="p1">“Of course I will,” she raised an eyebrow at him and smirked, “are you taking notes? This is valuable stuff and I’m only gonna say it once.”</p><p class="p1">He frantically lunged for his pencil and began to copy down her words, “you should not be a teacher.”</p><p class="p1">“I know. Okay, what else?” She mused, chewing on the end of her pencil thoughtfully. They managed to talk through his project easily enough, the real trouble was hers.</p><p class="p1">“Can I see your list?”</p><p class="p1">It was an innocent question, but Danni found herself hesitating a moment too long before handing it too him. She had barely started, only having listed some potential materials and things she needed to draw, but she knew it was going to spur a whole conversation she wasn’t exactly prepared for.</p><p class="p1">“What about Debbie and Lou?” There it was.</p><p class="p1">“They’re not my parents.”</p><p class="p1">He shrugged, “sure, but are they not your family?”</p><p class="p1">Danni wanted to cry, he made it sound so easy. But it wasn’t, it would never be that simple, <em>“I don’t know.”</em></p><p class="p1">Copying her, he too switched to French, <em>“you know, sometimes blood has nothing to do with family.”</em></p><p class="p1">
  <em>“Yeah, but there is—are things you don’t know. I don’t even know if they want to be my family.”</em>
</p><p class="p1">Remy snorted, chuckling for a moment before he realized she was dead serious, <em>“believe me, they do. Whatever happened, they obviously love you. That’s really all that matters.”</em></p><p class="p1">When she didn’t reply, he shrugged and once again, dropped it. Hearing Lou call them down to dinner, he glanced at his phone and got up, groaning as he stretched, “I should go, my dad is working late, so I need to make dinner for myself.”</p><p class="p1">“You can stay,” she offered, keeping her voice nonchalant, but looking up at him with hopeful eyes, “Lou always makes a lot of food when she cooks anyway.”</p><p class="p1">“If your Debbie and Lou are okay with it,” he said, his teasing grin showing her that the ‘your’ wasn’t a slip up.</p><p class="p1">When they finally made it down to the kitchen, Danni froze at the sight before. The large table they ate their meals at was completely full. Everyone was back, it was almost just like old times. She didn’t know it, but Debbie and Lou had gone to them and asked them to do what they had, turn a new leaf, give Danni the chance she deserved. And they had all agreed, even Constance. It wasn't perfect, but it was a start.</p><p class="p1">Still frozen, she was only shaken from her state by Remy’s exclamation, “you didn’t tell me you knew Daphne Kluger! <em>How do I look?</em>”</p><p class="p1"><em>“You look fine,”</em> she reassured him, “<em>also Rose speaks French, so this isn’t secret at all.”</em></p><p class="p1">He turned to the woman in question and his jaw dropped. He would later deny it, but Remy let out an honest-to-God squeal, “Rose Weil!” He gave Danni an expectant look, “<em>well, are you going to introduce me?”</em></p><p class="p1">She let out a long suffering sigh before giving him a small genuine smile, “everyone, this is Remy, he’s my friend. Remy, this is everyone.”</p><p class="p1">She let them introduce themselves. With Remy distracted, Danni made her way over to Lou, “can Remy stay for dinner?”</p><p class="p1">“Sure, just grab him a chair. Wait…here,” Lou passed her a large bowl of carbonara to take to the table, “got it?”</p><p class="p1">Danni nodded and quickly took it to the table, “hey ratboy, if you’re done fangirling, Lou said you can stay. Do you want to sit with me or your two new favorite people?”</p><p class="p1">Her joking tone covered up any and all insecurity she felt. This was one of the reasons she hadn’t told him about her more famous friends, she didn’t want him to be friends with her just to get to them.</p><p class="p1">Remy pretended to think, “I think that I would prefer to sit with my favorite psychopath.”</p><p class="p1">Grinning, she gave him a gentle shove and grabbed him a chair. Neither of them noticed Constance’s flinch at the word, a reminder of the way she tried to hurt Danni. Daphne did though.</p><p class="p1">Once everyone was settled down with food on their plates, Daphne focused on them, propping her head on her hand, “you guys are <em>so </em>cute. I mean, the nicknames, the looks.”</p><p class="p1">The teens exchanged one of the ‘looks’ and Danni spoke up, “we’re not <em>cute</em> and we’re just friends, Daphne.”</p><p class="p1">“Okay, but the nicknames. You gotta explain the nicknames.”</p><p class="p1">Apparently Remy was a lot shyer in the presence of his idols, so Danni spoke up again, “ever seen Ratatouille?” Daphne gave her a ‘duh’ look, “so…ratboy.”</p><p class="p1">Finally finding his voice, Remy continued for her, “and I call her psycho because, well, do you know why she got suspended?” Debbie and Lou looked up, suddenly a lot more interested and Danni put her head in her hands.</p><p class="p1">“You got suspended?” Tammy turned to Danni in ‘responsible adult’ mode.</p><p class="p1">The girl in question just shrugged, “yeah, I kicked a guy in the crotch.”</p><p class="p1">“And that guy,” Remy added, almost proudly, “was me.”</p><p class="p1">“So you’re the guy who was coming on to her,” Debbie’s voice was low and dangerous as she stared him down.</p><p class="p1">“Well,” he faltered, looking to Danni for guidance, but she had put her head back in her hands, not meeting anyone’s gaze, “…she payed me?”</p><p class="p1">“Is that a question?”</p><p class="p1">“No,” Danni cut in, Remy’s presence letting her be braver than she usually was, “it’s not, I did.”</p><p class="p1">Exhaling, Debbie shook her head, a faint, amused smile on her lips, “of course you did.”</p><p class="p1">“…I’m sorry,” She offered weakly.</p><p class="p1">“<em>Don’t</em>…be,” Lou sighed, massaging her temple, frustration clear in her voice.</p><p class="p1">Danni flushed and nodded mutely, avoiding Lou’s gaze for the rest of the meal. The rest of the meal was quieter, more subdued. And when finished, Remy excused himself, “thank you for letting me stay, it was delicious. I should really get going though.”</p><p class="p1">“I’ll walk you to the door,” Danni hopped up, eager to get away if only for a moment. Walking with him to his car, she turned, “hey, please don’t tell anyone I know Daphne and Rose, I don’t really want that kind of attention. Also I’m sorry it got kind of awkward at the end there.”</p><p class="p1">“I won’t and it’s fine. She’s right, you know. You do apologize too much.”</p><p class="p1">She shrugged self-consciously, “force of habit.”</p><p class="p1">Getting in his car and shutting the door, he slowly lowered the window, just to be dramatic, and leaned out, “just…think about what I said earlier, yeah?”</p><p class="p1">She nodded and waved as he drove off. The moment she entered the loft, she was faced with eight expectant looks.</p><p class="p1">“So…you and Remy—” Debbie started, smirking, only to be cut off almost immediately.</p><p class="p1">“—No.”</p><p class="p1">“Okay,” she put her hands up, but the smirk remained, “but you know how to use a condom, right?”</p><p class="p1">“Oh my god,” the teen’s face turned bright red and she quickly made for the stairs.</p><p class="p1">“Do you?”</p><p class="p1">“Yes! Oh my god, stop,” she continued her hasty retreat, only pausing about halfway up the stairs to yell her answer. Unlike with when she’d been suspended, she wasn’t running away because she was scared. Really, in a way, she was running away because she wasn’t. She would’ve frozen, not run, if she had been. One small, seemingly insignificant thing, when looked at in the right way by the right people, meant the world.</p><p class="p1">Because although they had their setbacks and betrayals, they were healing, one by one. And maybe, just maybe, after all that had happened, they could still be the family they had once been.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>let me know what you think! I love reading your feedback</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Chapter 20</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Danni has a panic attack</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>First, a quick thank you to everyone who has left a kudos or comment, especially to my frequent commenters (you never fail to make my day). I never thought I would get to 20 chapters, but your positive feedback always helps me stay motivated. :)</p><p>tw: child abuse (referenced), panic attack</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">The weekend after Remy came over was dedicated to family bonding time. Everyone came over just to spend some time together and reconnect. They played board games, watched tv, chatted, and did some light day drinking. It’s not like they were setting a bad example for Danni, she didn’t join them, only coming down from her room for meals. Besides, they were criminals.</p><p class="p1">When she came down around lunchtime on the second day, dressed in jeans and a warm, dark red sweater, her fingers smudged grey with graphite, she immediately headed for the kitchen. Opening a cabinet to grab the box of Swiss Miss packets, she went to the fridge to look for the milk and didn't notice Lou coming up behind her.</p><p class="p1">“Hey, where’ve you been all day?”</p><p class="p1">Danni froze, her head still in the fridge. Lou hadn’t said it accusingly, but the words themselves were enough to send chills down the teen’s spine. Quickly shaking her head in a bid to dispel the rising memories, she grabbed the milk and set it on the counter next to the packet of Swiss Miss.</p><p class="p1">She shrugged, giving Lou a little grin, “upstairs.”</p><p class="p1">Lou smirked, “cheeky.”</p><p class="p1">She watched Danni set her mug in the microwave, smiling at little at the familiarity of the action. Danni had been making herself hot chocolate in the mornings every weekend since she’d come back. “What’ve you been doing up there?”</p><p class="p1">“Art project.”</p><p class="p1">“The one you were telling us about the other day?”</p><p class="p1">“Mmm hmm,” Danni nodded, but kept her eyes glued on the rotating disk. The moment the microwave beeped, she pulled the mug out, almost dropping it when it was hotter than expected (she never learned), and unceremoniously dumped the contents of the packet into it.</p><p class="p1">“Will we ever get to see this art project?” Lou asked teasingly, though they did actually really want to see her art.</p><p class="p1">“Maybe…when it’s done.”</p><p class="p1">“Alright well, you’re welcome to come join us if you want,” Lou ruffled Danni’s hair affectionately and rejoined the others in the sitting area.</p><p class="p1">But Danni chose to remain in the kitchen and, keeping an eye on the door, put on her headphones as she slowly sipped at her hot chocolate, enjoying the warmth that spread throughout her body with each sip. While she and the others were on better terms, it was still a fragile peace. One wrong move and it could all come crashing down. Danni didn’t want to be the one to make that move.</p><p class="p1">Fully absorbed in her own little world, unable to hear anything but the music playing in her headphones, Danni didn’t hear the sound of glass shattering in the other room when someone’s carelessly placed beer toppled to the ground. So when Danni saw Debbie enter the kitchen, shards of the broken bottle grasped carefully in her hands, her mug tumbled from her shaking hands, smashing to a million pieces on the ground.</p><p class="p1">Her vision narrowed until the shards were the only thing she could see, altogether too similar to the one that had cut into her months before. The music faded to the background as the pounding of her heart took its place. Looking up, she saw Debbie’s mouth moving, but no sound reached her ears. Danni scrambled backwards, her throat constricting. She couldn’t breathe. When her back hit the counter, she slid to the floor, curling up with her arms wrapped protectively around herself.</p><p class="p1">“Danni, Danni!” Debbie called her name, trying to bring her back, but she was too far gone. The teen had had panic attacks before, but never one of this magnitude; Debbie didn’t know what to do. Shaking off her own panic, Debbie gently pulled off the girl’s headphones and shouted for Lou to come, her voice rough with desperation.</p><p class="p1">When Lou raced into the room, she was faced with a sight she’d never forget. Danni’s shaking form was huddled against the cabinets, her tear-streaked face hiding behind her knees as she was forced to relive the worst night of her life. And when Debbie turned toward her, Lou's breath caught in her throat. Not once in all the time she had known Debbie had she seen the pure terror and helplessness etched into her face that she saw then.</p><p class="p1">Rushing to them, Lou could hear Danni’s panicked, uneven breathing. Frantically searching her memory, Lou tried to remember what Dr. Linda had told about helping Danni during a panic attack. Debbie got their first.</p><p class="p1">
  <em>Stay with her, talk to her. Ask what she needs, don’t just assume. In the beginning and depending on the severity of the attack, she might not be present enough to answer. If she’s hyperventilating, help her slow her breathing by breathing with her or counting slowly.</em>
</p><p class="p1">“Danni? Danni, you’re home with us. It’s Debbie and Lou, you’re safe,” she tried to keep her voice low and soothing, exchanging a terror-filled look with Lou when she got no response, “Danni, can you breathe with me, baby?”</p><p class="p1">Debbie took deep, almost exaggerated breaths, hoping Danni would start to mimic them. And after a long moment, one that felt like an agonizing eternity, Danni sucked in a ragged breath. And then another. And another, until she slowly matched Debbie, her breaths evening out. But she still didn’t look up, her small form made even smaller as she pressed herself up against the cabinets.</p><p class="p1">
  <em>Help her stay or become grounded. If she’s okay with it, physical touch can be good. But depending on how responsive she is, you can also give her something textured to hold, encourage her to talk about something nice and familiar or to play a game. The 5-4-3-2-1 method can also work well.</em>
</p><p class="p1">“Danni, love, can you look up for us?” Lou asked, following Debbie’s lead and keeping her voice as calm and soothing as she could. Slowly, carefully, Danni lifted her head, revealing her wide, tear-filled eyes. They both made sure to smile encouragingly and praise her for the action, hiding the pain they felt at the look in her eyes.</p><p class="p1">Her usually bright eyes were filled with fear, but empty in way like she wasn’t all there. And she wasn’t. Danni felt trapped in her own body, an observer chained in place by her mind’s twisting, writhing turmoil.</p><p class="p1">Because amidst the panic, Danni split. One half, the observer, locked away so the other would not hear, and the other, the glassy eyed shell who took her place. The observer could follow the logic, she knew she was safe, she knew that Debbie and Lou were safe, but the shell could not. The shell, bombarded with dread and fear, could do nothing but sit and relive <strike><span class="s1">her</span></strike> their personal hell over and over and over again.</p><p class="p1">
  <em>Her father’s rancid breath in her face. Her head hitting the ground as she was slammed down. The helplessness as she was held down, her father’s weight pinning her. The sharp, blinding pain as the glass was dragged slowly, so slowly, over her ribcage. The fear — she was going to die. The acceptance — she was going to die. But then she didn’t. Her mother’s sharp words and disdain. Another sharp, blinding pain, but this one worse than the first as her mother dug her fingers, her nails, into the wound, knowing exactly how to make it hurt. The near scream. The needle piercing her skin, in and out, in and out, as her mother stitched her back together. The relief at hearing Elle’s voice. But Elle would never come, Elle was dead.</em>
</p><p class="p1">Repeat.</p><p class="p1">“Danni?” At her name, the chained observer screamed and fought against her bonds, willing the shell to let her go. She couldn’t, caught up in their past as she was. But that’s exactly what it was, it was <em>their</em> past, it was <em>their</em> hell. They could never truly split. Two parts of a whole, a messy mix of reason and panic, but they were Danni. And Danni was them, she couldn’t be her if they were split. Even together, the panic still held the power.</p><p class="p1">“Danni,” Lou tried again. And there it was, the tiniest flicker of recognition. Danni was coming back. Her eyes flicked around the room, looking for any hint of a threat. She was there, for the most part.</p><p class="p1">“Do you know where you are?”</p><p class="p1">Danni’s gaze cut to Debbie, giving her a tiny nod.</p><p class="p1">“Can you tell us what you need?”</p><p class="p1">“I-I don’t—i-it’s too much—can’t m-make it s-stop,” her voice shook as she stumbled through her response, her mind caught somewhere else. Rubbing her hands over her face, she dug her nails in, desperate for anything to distract from or slow her racing mind.</p><p class="p1">Quickly but gently, Debbie and Lou pulled her hands away, revealing the angry, red marks left behind. She didn’t shy away from the contact like they’d half-expected her to, instead, she gripped their hands tightly, almost too tightly.</p><p class="p1">“Danni, I need you to do something for me, love. Can you tell me five things you can see?” Lou's tone brooked no argument, but stayed low and soothing.</p><p class="p1">Danni’s wild gaze turned to her, a look of confusion passing over her face, “I-I don’t know, I-I c-can’t—”</p><p class="p1">“You can, love. Just try.”</p><p class="p1">“You?” She bit her lip anxiously, eyes sweeping the room, “the-the chair, table…De-Debbie, the floor.”</p><p class="p1">“Good girl, four things you can feel.”</p><p class="p1">“Your-your hands, the ground,” she released her hold on their hands and balled her trembling hands into fists, “I-I don’t, I don’t <em>know!”</em></p><p class="p1">“Just two more,” Debbie encouraged her.</p><p class="p1">She took a deep, shuddering breath, trying to keep her mind on the task at hand, “my-my shirt, my face…it hurts.”</p><p class="p1">“I know, love. Three things you can hear.”</p><p class="p1">“M-me, you…Constance,” her answers came faster than before, steadier.</p><p class="p1">“Good job, two things you can smell.”</p><p class="p1">She sniffed shakily, “your…your shampoo and…perfume?”</p><p class="p1">“Uh huh. And one thing you can taste.”</p><p class="p1">“Salt.”</p><p class="p1">Her final answer came more readily than the last and was imbued with a sense of calm none of her previous ones had. Looking into her eyes, they could tell she was still shaky, but she was there and listening, no longer caught up in her head.</p><p class="p1">“Can you tell us what you need?” Lou repeated Debbie’s question.</p><p class="p1">She glanced in between them, finger rubbing at her scarred knuckled. Though surprised by the new found fire blazing in her eyes, they waited patiently for her answer. After a moment, she nodded slowly, “air.”</p><p class="p1">Ignoring their offers to help her up, she carefully walked around the remnants of the smashed mug before speeding up, almost running toward the door. Debbie and Lou didn’t follow. They knew Danni, and one thing she almost always needed to think was space. So they sat back against the cabinets, exhausted. Neither of them, not even after Debbie had come back from prison, had ever had or even dealt with a panic attack like the one Danni had just experienced.</p><p class="p1">But before they could get too comfortable, they heard the first angry scream. Rushing outside, they saw Danni standing by the water screaming expletive after expletive, tears streaming down her face as she hurled rocks into the still water. She still suffered the aftermath of the panic attack, and all the fear and anger and exhaustion catching up to her, collapsed to the ground.</p><p class="p1">Slowly, the way one might approach a wild animal, Lou stepped closer and crouched by the girl’s form.</p><p class="p1">“What do you want?” The girl’s voice was heavy with emotion.</p><p class="p1">“We want to help you,” Debbie said, still keeping her distance.</p><p class="p1">“I don’t need your fucking help!” She shot up and angrily brushed the tears away. Lou stood as well, going back to stand by Debbie. They exchanged a look.</p><p class="p1">“Danni, we didn’t—” Debbie began, ready to take back her words.</p><p class="p1">“—I thought I was better. I thought they were gone. Why aren’t they gone?!” She yelled, her voice hoarse.</p><p class="p1">“Danni—”</p><p class="p1">“—No! Why won’t they go away?! That—” she pointed a shaking hand at the loft, “that…shouldn’t’ve happened. W-Why did it happen?!”</p><p class="p1">In a few easy strides, Lou pulled the angry teen into her arms, hoping that the contact she was so starved for would help like it had before. But Danni struggled, trying to pull herself free, “no, I don’t want your help!”</p><p class="p1">“I know,” Lou didn’t let go, and at her words, Danni fell limply into the embrace, arms circling around Lou as almost an afterthought. They didn’t speak for a while, Danni buried her face into Lou’s shoulder, trying to hide her tears.</p><p class="p1">When she finally did speak, it was quiet, almost a whisper, “I don’t want your help.”</p><p class="p1">“I know,” came the equally quiet reply.</p><p class="p1">“Then why do you keep trying?” Her voice broke.</p><p class="p1">Lou carefully guided the girl up to Debbie, all three sitting on the ground with Danni in the middle, “because we love you.”</p><p class="p1">She stared pensively at the calm waters, a little furrow in her brow as she processed the statement.</p><p class="p1">“Why?” She looked completely bewildered. But before they could answer, she continued, sounding defeated, “you should…you should just give up. I thought I was better, but…you can’t <em>fix</em> me. It’s too late.”</p><p class="p1">“Hey,” Debbie drew her daughter’s attention, “we don’t want to fix you.”</p><p class="p1">“So you just want me to stay broken forever?” Danni tried for a laugh. She didn’t succeed.</p><p class="p1">“No,” her next words were measured, “there’s nothing to <em>fix</em>, Danni. You’re already perfect. We just want you to be happy.”</p><p class="p1">Danni shook her head, “just…have your own kid. A<em> real</em> one who looks a little bit like both of you and can look at a <em>broken bottle</em> without—without thinking they’re going to die.”</p><p class="p1">“We want <em>you</em>. Why don’t you get that? We’ve only wanted you since you knocked on our door five months ago,” Debbie tried to keep her voice level, but it was so frustrating that after everything that had happened, Danni still didn’t believe them.</p><p class="p1">“Just…let me go,” her quiet plea broke their hearts. And though it was probably a mistake, they did. Not in the way she meant, but they let her walk away. In retrospect, they realized they should have chased after her, they should have pulled her back into their arms and surrounded her with as much love as they could until she finally believed them. And when she did, they should have spent the day with her curled up on the couch with hot chocolate, a movie, and the rest of their family.</p><p class="p1">But they didn’t. They let her run away and lock herself away from them. And in doing so, they made her come to them with trembling anticipation instead of going to her, showing her that they were there. That they hadn’t just promised her empty words.</p>
<hr/><p class="p1">Danni stared down at the drawing in her hands with pursed lips and a furrow in her brow. There was something wrong with it, but she couldn’t quite put her finger on it. It didn’t help that her mind kept replaying the last ten minutes over and over again.</p><p class="p1">She had asked them to let her go, so why did it hurt so much to know that they had? Why did it hurt so much to know that no one was coming? Massaging her temple, she sighed heavily. Somewhere deep within her chest it ached. But it was an unfamiliar ache, one she couldn’t put a name to. All she knew was that it could be healed by two specific people, but only if they wanted…her.</p><p class="p1">“This is all your fault,” she spoke to the girl in the drawing, not even sure if they were the same person anymore.</p><p class="p1">With one final look at the drawing, at the girl her parents made her, Danni let out a frustrated growl and tore it up. Letting the pieces fall to the ground, she collapsed onto the bed, exhausted by the events of the last half hour. Within seconds, she had slipped into a deep, dreamless sleep that offered the only break from reality she was allowed.</p>
<hr/><p class="p1">Late that night, as Debbie lay in bed, Lou’s warm body nestled up behind her, her mind still processing everything that had happened, she heard soft footsteps coming down the hall. There was only one person those footsteps could belong to. Debbie tensed, ready to spring out of bed should the noises continue down to the stairs.</p><p class="p1">But footsteps got closer and closer until they paused right outside Debbie and Lou’s room. The pacing began.</p><p class="p1">Six paces one way. Turn. Six the other. Turn. The quiet crinkling of paper being gripped too tightly. Six paces. Turn. Another six.</p><p class="p1">Outside the room, Danni paced back and forth, trying to gather the courage to knock on the door. She came close a few times, pausing to stand in front of the door, hand raised, only to stop herself at the last moment and continue her pacing. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity to everyone, both inside and out of the room, Danni gathered her courage and knocked quickly so she wouldn’t lose her nerve.</p><p class="p1">By then, both women inside the room were wide awake and waiting for the knock; so when it came, they were quick to open the door (though not too quick, they didn’t want it to seem like they’d been lying in wait).</p><p class="p1">The moment the door swung open, Danni wordlessly pressed the paper she was holding into Debbie’s hands. Following her silent instructions, Debbie and Lou examined the paper they’d been given. It was a simple sketch of a girl’s face, nothing that seemed like it would warrant Danni’s late night appearance.</p><p class="p1">At their questioning looks, she pulled a photo out of the back pocket of the jeans she hadn’t changed out of yet and showed it to them. She watched realization dawn on their faces as they looked at the two smiling girls in the photo. The sketch was clearly of Elle, but the proportions were slightly off, her nose too big and eyes too close together.</p><p class="p1">Neither Debbie nor Lou had any clue of what to say, so they waited, searching Danni’s face for something other than the utter exhaustion present. They didn’t have to wait long.</p><p class="p1">“I don’t…” Danni sighed and ran a hand tiredly through her hair, “I don’t get it. I knew Elle for <em>seven</em> years and it was <em>one</em> night.”</p><p class="p1">They heard the unasked questions. <em>Why am I forgetting her, but can remember that night like it was yesterday? Will her face fade from my memory until I have to rely on photos to see her? Why can’t I forget that night?</em></p><p class="p1">Debbie opened the door a little more, silently asking if she wanted to enter, “do you wanna…talk about it?”</p><p class="p1">The teen bit her lip, finger unconsciously migrating to scarred knuckle, and looked down, shaking her head.</p><p class="p1">“Then why’d you come to us?” Lou leaned against the doorframe, looking down at the girl before them.</p><p class="p1">“I just…really, <em>really</em> need to hit something,” she smiled weakly, trying to put on a strong facade as if her words hadn’t been a quiet plea for help. But it was her eyes that betrayed her, like they always did. They easily reflected the two warring sides in the teen. One side, the scared, stubborn girl who survived through sheer will alone. The other, the hopeful, trusting girl who’d been hurt too much, but still saw safety in Debbie and Lou.</p><p class="p1">Lou recognized that look, the wariness and desire to trust clashing together, keeping her awake. So she did the only thing she knew how and offered Danni the one thing that never failed to calm her mind.</p><p class="p1">“Go get your shoes. Let’s go for a ride.”</p><p class="p1">Danni gave her a confused look, but didn’t question it, going to do as told. She waited by the door until a fully dressed Lou joined her, passing her a helmet.</p><p class="p1">“Don’t fall asleep,” Lou’s only words for the girl. Leading Danni to her motorcycle, she easily swung a leg over and motioned for the teen to do the same. Mounting the bike, albeit less gracefully than Lou had, Danni wrapped her arms around the woman’s waist.</p><p class="p1">Through her visor, Danni watched as the city lights sped by, and slowly, she felt her mind slow, all her worries and fears slipping away until the only things left were the warmth radiating from the woman in front of her and the passing cityscape.</p><p class="p1">When they returned to the loft hours later, Danni was swaying on her feet. Leaning heavily on Lou, she made her way up to her room. Danni immediately lay facedown in the middle of the bed, her arms splayed out at her sides, so Lou gently pulled off her shoes and grabbed a pair of pajamas for her. Pajamas in hand, Danni stumbled to the bathroom to change, and when she returned, flopped back in her original position on the bed.</p><p class="p1">With some expert maneuvering, Lou helped Danni under the covers and tucked her in, softly brushing her thumb over the girl’s forehead, missing its often present tension. When she turned to go, she was called back by a quiet voice.</p><p class="p1">“Stay?” The teen’s tired voice was hopeful, but cautious, still a little unsure if she was going to be rebuffed in no uncertain terms and told she was too old for such comforts.</p><p class="p1">Kicking off her own shoes, Lou slid under the covers next to the teen, half-propped up against the headboard, “always.”</p><p class="p1">And when Debbie came to check on them after Lou hadn’t come back to bed, she really didn't want to go back to her cold, empty bed. Lou was still propped up against the headboard, a move she would probably regret in the morning, her arms wrapped around their daughter as they slept with matching peaceful expressions.</p>
<hr/><p class="p1">Danni awoke the next morning to the sound of her name and the feeling of someone gently tapping her forehead. Grumbling, she turned away from the sound and pulled her pillow over her head. The other person tried to pull the pillow away, resulting in a pillow tug of war that ended with Danni the loser. Blinking against the light, she caught sight of blonde hair, the events of the previous night coming rushing back to her.</p><p class="p1">She flushed and pulled the covers over her head, trying to hide her burning cheeks. Lou, of course, noticed, but didn’t comment, knowing it would only serve to further the girl’s embarrassment, “c’mon, get up. You have school.”</p><p class="p1">Relieved that Lou hadn’t brought up what had happened the day before, Danni tugged the blankets closer to her, wrapping herself up in a blanket burrito, “it’s too early.”</p><p class="p1">“Your alarm went off 20 minutes ago.”</p><p class="p1">“I’m sick,” she faked a couple coughs.</p><p class="p1">“Uh huh, you also need to do your German lesson with Debbie ‘cause you didn’t do it yesterday,” Lou continued, smirking at Danni’s act.</p><p class="p1">“Ich bin krank,” the teen groaned right when Debbie poked her head in the door.</p><p class="p1">“Not bad,” Debbie commented, proud of her teaching skills, “breakfast is ready.”</p><p class="p1">Then and only then did Danni pull the covers down, betrayal written across her face as she looked at Lou in disbelief, “you let Debbie make breakfast?”</p><p class="p1">“It’s cereal,” Lou reassured her, “all she did was put out the milk and cereal, <em>right</em>?” The last part was directed at her wife who shot her a faux annoyed look and nodded. </p><p class="p1">“C’mon,” she poked Danni, “we’re leaving in 20 minutes whether you’re dressed or not.”</p><p class="p1">“Okay, okay,” she grumbled and rolled, quite literally, out of bed with a yelp. She had gotten tangled in her covers, but, luckily, her bed wasn’t too high off the ground so she didn’t fall far. Hiding her amusement, Lou made sure she was alright before leaving her to get ready for school.</p><p class="p1">Danni grabbed some clothes from her dresser, something catching her attention in the corner of her eye. Going to see what it was, she realized, with a twinge of guilt, that it was the torn pieces of her art project. She picked them up and set them on her desk, gently smoothing them down.</p><p class="p1">As she carefully rearranged them until they resembled the original drawing, she suddenly realized what had been wrong with it. A smile growing on her face, she understood why Remy had said what he had.</p><p class="p1">Because, sure, she may have been broken, her parents may have left her in pieces, but Debbie and Lou were slowly putting her back together, piece by piece. And maybe the damage would be permanent, maybe it would scar like the mark on her stomach, but she knew that with their help, she could be whole again. And that’s all she wanted.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>let me know what you think!</p><p>ich bin krank = i'm sick</p><p>it was completely accidental, but I realized after I wrote the chapter, that now, both Debbie and Lou have slept in an uncomfortable position with Danni (so...yay?)</p><p>also, I made a tally of everything Danni's broken since arriving at the loft: 2 glasses, 1 mug...oh, and everyone's hearts/the group dynamic (let me know if you think of anymore) :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Chapter 21</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>therapy + visit to the hospital</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>anyone still here? sorry it's been like two weeks (can't say I didn't warn you), but this chapter's pretty long, so...sorry if you like 'em short (and sweet) and you're welcome if you like them long </p><p>tw: self harm (it's more implied than anything)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">“Hi, Dr. Linda,” Danni greeted, plopping down on the couch. She gave the woman across from her a half-smile as she looked around the room. There was something different about it.</p><p class="p1">“Hi, Danni. How are you doing?”</p><p class="p1">“Fine,” her usual answer came accompanied with a shrug. Linda had taken down one of the paintings on the wall. Danni stared at it for a moment, lips pursed. It looked too bare.</p><p class="p1">“Good, that’s good. And has anything happened in the past week that you want to talk about?” She had a knowing look on her face, but Danni just shrugged again and shook her head ‘no’.</p><p class="p1">“Okay, so there’s nothing in particular you want to discuss today?”</p><p class="p1">“No, oh, well maybe,” her attention shifted to her therapist, “I need a different way to control my emotions.”</p><p class="p1">“Danni,” Linda sighed, “we’ve talked about this, you can’t control your emotions.”</p><p class="p1">The teen cocked her head and narrowed her eyes at her therapist, “then why do I come here?”</p><p class="p1">“I can help you understand what you’re feeling and find a good way to express it, but there’s no way to stop feeling.”</p><p class="p1">Danni let out a short sigh, she wanted to make Debbie and Lou happy, but if her way was the only way, she wasn’t going to stop. Logically, she knew it didn’t get rid of whatever she was feeling, merely slowed it. Replaced one pain with another.</p><p class="p1">“Nothing else you want to talk about?”</p><p class="p1">“Is there something you want to?” Danni countered with a question of her own.</p><p class="p1">“Well,” Linda folded her hands across her lap and fixed Danni with a warm look, “you’ve been coming here for a few weeks now, and you’ve never spoken more than a word or two about your parents. Now, this is our last session before we close for the holidays, and it’s not ideal, but I think now would be a good time to talk about them.”</p><p class="p1">Danni scowled and stared down at the little silvery line that stretched across her knuckle. After a few long moments, finger brushing over the scar, she spoke up, “what is there to talk about?”</p><p class="p1">“Anything really. You mentioned your mother was a doctor?” Linda gently probed.</p><p class="p1">Danni nodded, “yeah, she’s a trauma surgeon. So?”</p><p class="p1">“The more you talk about these things, even the little ones, the easier it will be. So right now, we want to build a foundation that will allow you to speak more freely about what drove you from home. Does that make sense?”</p><p class="p1">“I guess,” came the reluctant reply.</p><p class="p1">“Okay,” she could see the teen’s reluctance, “how about we play a game?”</p><p class="p1">“A game?” Danni sounded skeptical.</p><p class="p1">“Yes. We’ll call it the…yes or no game. I’ll ask you questions, and you answer with either yes or no. How does that sound?”</p><p class="p1">“Like a not very fun game,” Linda gave her a look and she sighed, “okay, let’s play.”</p><p class="p1">“Good. We’ll start off with some easier questions. Do you enjoy having therapy every week?”</p><p class="p1">“No.” She sent an apologetic look at Linda.</p><p class="p1">“That’s fine. Do you think it’s important that you come here?”</p><p class="p1">Danni hesitated, chewing on her lip before giving her begrudging answer, “yes.”</p><p class="p1">“Do you trust me?”</p><p class="p1">Danni shook her head.</p><p class="p1">“Do you trust your parents?”</p><p class="p1">“No.”</p><p class="p1">“Did you?”</p><p class="p1">A longer pause as Danni mulled over the answer, chewing on her lip, before answering quietly, “yes.”</p><p class="p1">“And Debbie and Lou? Do you trust <em>them</em>?”</p><p class="p1">The silence that followed stretched over what felt like hours. Danni shook her head, not trusting the words that wanted to come out of her mouth.</p><p class="p1">“Okay, let’s take a quick pause. Do you know why you don’t trust them?”</p><p class="p1">A shrug, “I don’t know. I trust them, but I <em>can’t,</em>” she watched Linda’s reaction, hoping she would understand.</p><p class="p1">“Do you love them? You can use other words.”</p><p class="p1">Danni shook her head, “I can’t. If I don’t love them, it’ll hurt less.”</p><p class="p1">“What will?” Her voice was soft and warm as she gently probed the girl for answers.</p><p class="p1">Danni hesitated, weighing her choices. When she finally spoke, it was in a near whisper, “when they hurt me.”</p><p class="p1">“When?”</p><p class="p1">“If,” Danni corrected herself sharply, sounding as if she didn’t really believe herself.</p><p class="p1">“Good. See, this is good. This is the exact kind of progress we want to make. You’re identifying your feelings and able to explain them to me. Now, just a few more questions, okay?” She got a nod in response, “do you think Debbie and Lou could be your parents?”</p><p class="p1">“No,” the teen’s answer came faster than the previous ones.</p><p class="p1">“Do you want them to be?”</p><p class="p1">“No,” it was slower than the last. But she had been thinking about it since Lou had taken for a ride those few nights ago.</p><p class="p1">“Okay,” Linda didn’t ask for an explanation, “here’s the last one. It is, in my opinion, the most important one,” she paused, before continuing as gently as she could, “are you happy?”</p><hr/><p class="p1">By the time Danni emerged from Dr. Linda’s office, she was visibly agitated. When Linda asked to speak with Debbie and Lou, she stormed outside to wait by the car. It was freezing, but she was too stubborn to go back in.</p><p class="p1">“Debbie, Lou, have a seat,” Linda gestured to the couch and seated herself in her usual seat across from them.</p><p class="p1">“What’d you want to talk about?” Lou asked, reluctant to leave Danni waiting for long.</p><p class="p1">“Well, I noticed you haven’t scheduled Danni any sessions for after the holidays, and I just wanted to check in, see what was going on.”</p><p class="p1">Debbie and Lou shared a look, they had purposefully not been giving the end of the month much thought, “we don’t know if she’s staying.”</p><p class="p1">Linda had been given an abbreviated version of what had happened since the summer, so she merely nodded in understanding, “I see. I may not know Danni all that well yet, but it’s easy to see how much she cares for the two of you. And she trusts you, she really does; you should be proud,” she hesitated, weighing her next words, “for what it’s worth…I really think she’ll stay.”</p><p class="p1">“Thanks doc,” Debbie offered her a tight smile and reached blindly for Lou’s hand, quickly interlacing their fingers.</p><p class="p1">“That being said, however, you need to be very, very careful. Danni was betrayed by the people she trusted most, her parents. So the closer you get, the more you become parental figures, the more she’ll try and push you away. Don’t let her. Show her that she can love you without being afraid,” Linda warned them gravely, knowing exactly what they would lose if they didn’t</p><p class="p1">“We will,” they stood, shaking Linda’s hand, and went to join their daughter outside. She had calmed down, but they could see whatever she was thinking about still affected her. They sat in silence as they drove, Danni staring out the window, unconsciously tracing the scar on her hand.</p><p class="p1">“What’re you thinking about?” Debbie turned in her seat to look at Danni.</p><p class="p1"><em>You two. </em>The teen shrugged, “doesn’t matter.”</p><p class="p1">Debbie nodded and turned back to face the front, worry growing. Whatever it was clearly did matter, but asking wouldn’t get any answers. She had to wait her out.</p><p class="p1">Her worry only grew when Danni sat down at the table for breakfast the next morning with some homework from the night before. Debbie and Lou exchanged concerned looks. Not only was the teen already dressed, something she never did before breakfast, but she was wearing the oversized sweater she always wore when trying to hide something.</p><p class="p1">The worry increased once again when they watched her lift her left hand to card through her hair before abruptly switching hands, wincing. But they didn’t say anything, wanting to be sure. So when Danni began filling out the sheet with her right hand, moving slowly, carefully, they knew something was wrong.</p><p class="p1">“Danni?” Lou started slowly, unsure of how to broach the topic.</p><p class="p1">“Hmm?” The teen looked up from her sheet.</p><p class="p1">“What did you do to your hand?” Debbie braced her forearms against the back of a chair, staring the girl down. Danni looked like a deer in headlights, her eyes wide as she stumbled through her answer.</p><p class="p1">“What? H-how…I-I didn’t,” she froze and cleared her throat before continuing, her voice steadier, “nothing.”</p><p class="p1">“Really?” Debbie was not convinced.</p><p class="p1">“Yeah,” Danni turned her attention back to her work, clearly done with the conversation.</p><p class="p1">Debbie and Lou shared another look. They couldn’t brute force their way to an answer, no, this kind of thing required finesse.</p><p class="p1">“Danni, love,” the teen didn’t even look up, making only a noise of acknowledgement, “I was thinking Nutella waffles, what do you think?”</p><p class="p1">That got her attention. Danni perked up, their conversation from only moments before forgotten, “like in the batter?”</p><p class="p1">“Exactly,” Lou ignored her wife’s confused look.</p><p class="p1">“That sounds good.”</p><p class="p1">“Alright, come help me out here,” Lou gestured to the batter, “you can add the Nutella.”</p><p class="p1">“Kay,” the teen hopped out of her seat and grabbed the jar of Nutella. But when she approached Lou, the older woman held up a hand, stopping her in her tracks.</p><p class="p1">“Wait. What’s the first rule of cooking in my kitchen?” Lou glanced at her wife over their daughter’s head, seeing a small smile of understanding grace her face.</p><p class="p1">“Don’t burn the house down?”</p><p class="p1">“That’s two.”</p><p class="p1">“Put your hair up,” realization dawned on the girl’s face and she backed away. There was no way she could do her hair with one hand without confirming their suspicions, “you know, I think I’ll just stick to Nutella on top, if that’s okay.”</p><p class="p1">“What did you do to your hand?” Lou repeated her wife’s question, trying to fill her voice with the concern and love she felt.</p><p class="p1">“Nothing,” Danni ground out, glaring at the ground.</p><p class="p1">“Show us.”</p><p class="p1">“There’s nothing to show.” She folded her arms across her chest, tucking her left hand protectively under her arm.</p><p class="p1">“<em>Don’t</em> lie,” Debbie chided, making her voice gentle a moment too late. Danni flinched away, taking a step away.</p><p class="p1">“I’m not,” Danni fell too easily back into old habits. Seeing their approach was clearly not working, Debbie tried another.</p><p class="p1">“You know we love you,” it wasn't a question. Danni nodded. “And we only want to help you,” another nod, “but you <em>have</em> to let us.”</p><p class="p1">Danni didn’t answer; they could see the conflict in her face. She had to stop her finger from moving to her knuckle, instead chewing on her lip as she deliberated. Her hand moving out from behind her arm, she started to tug the sleeve up before stopping and regarding them closely. Finally, after what seemed like hours, she held her still covered hand out to them. <em>I’m trying, </em>it said. <em>Don’t hurt me.</em></p><p class="p1">The two women approached slowly and gently tugged the girl’s sleeve, inhaling sharply at what was revealed to them. Danni’s knuckles were swollen and covered in a mottled pattern of purple and red. Lou brought her hand up, lightly resting the teen’s on it as she examined the damage. Neither woman failed to notice the way Danni’s entire body tensed up at the contact, nor the way her other hand balled tightly into a fist, but they chose to ignore it for the fact that she hadn’t yet moved away.</p><p class="p1">“Jesus,” Lou breathed out, tilting the girl’s hand slightly to get a better look at the damage. Danni had clearly taken some care of it, the places where the skin split were clean and didn’t look infected, but her knuckles were still, for lack of a better word, a complete mess.</p><p class="p1">When they didn’t say anything else, Danni shifted awkwardly where she stood, “I’m fine, I’ll just go get my things and we can go.”</p><p class="p1">She moved to pull her hand away, freezing when Lou’s fingers wrapped around her wrist, holding her back.</p><p class="p1">“You can’t go to school like this, we’re going to the hospital.”</p><p class="p1">Danni yanked her arm free, gritting her teeth and almost biting her tongue at the sudden explosion of pain in her hand, “I’m fine.”</p><p class="p1">“You’re not,” Debbie’s voice was cool and measured.</p><p class="p1">“<em>Yes</em>, I am,” if her sudden defiance shocked them, neither woman showed it, keeping their serious expressions firmly in place.</p><p class="p1">“Fine,” Danni couldn’t hide her surprise at Debbie’s sudden acquiescence, but her face fell as the woman continued, holding up a glass, “if you can hold this, you can go to school.”</p><p class="p1">Danni tried, she really did. She tried to extend her fingers past their half-curled state, gasping at the pain, but had to admit defeat when she straightened them and let out a little, involuntary whimper with tears in her eyes.</p><p class="p1">“Go get your shoes,” Debbie’s voice was gentle again. She brushed a runaway tear from the girl’s face and sent her off with a kiss to the forehead. </p><p class="p1">After getting themselves together, Debbie and Lou waited for their daughter by the door. And when it took an inordinate amount of time for her to get her shoes, Lou went up to check on her. Her hand poised to knock, she held herself back when she heard Danni talking to someone on the phone, unable to stop herself from eavesdropping a little.</p><p class="p1">“Just do it…<em>please</em>.”</p><p class="p1">A pause as the other person spoke.</p><p class="p1">“I don’t <em>want</em> them to find out. And they’re definitely going to try.”</p><p class="p1">Another pause. Lou was too far away to hear anything but an indistinct voice.</p><p class="p1">“That’s not going to happen.”</p><p class="p1">She heard Danni scoff.</p><p class="p1">“—<em>I’m </em>being stupid?”</p><p class="p1">A deep sigh as she listened to whatever the other person was saying</p><p class="p1">“Just do it.”</p><p class="p1">Another sigh, but this one of relief.</p><p class="p1">“Thank you. Okay, see you soon.”</p><p class="p1">“Love you too.”</p><p class="p1">Lou could hear the smile in Danni’s voice as she said the words Lou wished the girl could say to them.</p><p class="p1">Danni finally opened the door, surprise at Lou’s presence evident in her face, “oh, I was just coming down. I, uh…couldn’t find my shoes.”</p><p class="p1">And her twelve hours began.</p><hr/><p class="p1">After driving to the hospital in tense silence, they were directed to wait for a doctor in the waiting room. As Danni looked around, she couldn’t suppress her shudder. It was all too familiar, the same white, sterile surroundings, sitting in between <span class="s1">her</span>…Debbie and Lou. When her name was finally called, they followed a nurse back to have her hand examined and then x-rayed to see the full extent of the damage.</p><p class="p1">X-rays over, they were once again directed to wait. This wait was longer. Sensing the girl’s discomfort, Lou rubbed her back in slow, soothing circles, near amazed when Danni leaned into the touch and rested her head on the woman’s shoulder. They had come so far.</p><p class="p1">They stayed like that for a few minutes before Danni’s phone lit up with a message from an unknown number.</p><p class="p1">
  <em>I’m here.</em>
</p><p class="p1">The teen’s whole face brightened as she awkwardly typed back their location with the pointer finger of her less injured hand. With Danni’s head on her shoulder, Lou could see the entire exchange, but didn’t want to pry. Besides, Lou was positive it was the person Danni had been talking to earlier, and if Danni loved them, then they could probably be trusted. Not that Lou was going to.</p><p class="p1">All her questions were answered in the next few minutes, when Skye sauntered through the double doors, headed straight toward them. She didn’t quite make it to them before Danni leapt up and drew her into a bear hug, grinning from ear to ear. The two made their way over to some seat a little ways away from Debbie and Lou, chatting easily.</p><p class="p1">Watching them, Debbie’s heart ached, just a little. What she wouldn’t give for Danni to be that happy and carefree with them. With an awkward glance at the now empty seat between them, Debbie crossed her legs and painted on an expression of indifference, not having to look at Lou to see the bored expression on her face. Neither woman was willing to show just how much it hurt to see how quickly Danni had abandoned them.</p><hr/><p class="p1">“Thanks for coming,” Danni tried for a smile.</p><p class="p1">“Of course I was gonna be here, you idiot,” Skye nudged her good-naturedly.</p><p class="p1">Danni huffed out a laugh, shaking her head, “and…did you do it?”</p><p class="p1">“Yeah, I did,” the hacker’s face turned somber, “I still think you’re being stupid though.”</p><p class="p1">“I told you, they’re going to want to look into my past. There are just some things I don’t want them to know,” Danni said, a subtle plea laced through her words.</p><p class="p1">“You <em>know</em> I get it. I just think you have a real shot at a life with them, and you shouldn’t waste it.”</p><p class="p1">The teen rolled her eyes, “just because they don’t know everything about me doesn’t mean we can’t be one big<em> happy </em>family<em>.</em>”</p><p class="p1">“It’s gonna be way harder for them to adopt you.”</p><p class="p1">“I already told you, that’s not going to happen.”</p><p class="p1">Skye sighed, but dropped it. She had known Danni for years, she knew exactly how bull-headed she could be. With yet another sigh, she changed the topic, pulling out her phone to show Danni pictures of her cat’s most recent adventures.</p><p class="p1">Mid argument over whose cat he really was at that point, Danni’s name was called. A doctor stood, surveying the waiting patients to see where she was. Seeing Debbie and Lou stand up, Danni did the same, giving the doctor a quick appraisal.</p><p class="p1">She was young, most likely in her early to mid thirties, with dark skin and even darker curls held back from her face with a purple hair-tie. Seeing the three stand up, she smiled. It was a nice smile, Danni decided, warm with not too much teeth. There was something about it, maybe it was the way the smile extended all the way to her eyes, little crinkles appearing around the corners. Whatever it was, it looked genuine.</p><p class="p1">“Hi, I’m Dr. Sanders, come on back with me.”</p><p class="p1">Debbie and Lou promptly followed after her with Danni trailing a little ways behind them. Once in the examination room, the doctor gestured for them to sit and pulled out Danni’s x-rays.</p><p class="p1">“I would like to go over the results of Danni’s x-ray’s with you. Nothing’s broken in the right, but there’s some pretty heavy bruising. In the left…may I?” she held a hand out to examine Danni’s, “the last three knuckles here are broken, so we’ll put a cast on to ensure they don’t move around while healing, and you’ll need to come back in a couple of weeks so we can make sure it’s healing well.”</p><p class="p1">Debbie and Lou shot a look at their daughter when the broken bones were mentioned, but didn’t comment, nodding along to everything the doctor was saying. It went without saying that they would do anything for Danni.</p><p class="p1">“Now, on the left, we did find something a little worrying,” she let Danni’s hand go and held up two of the x-rays, “this is a scan of her left hand, and this is one of her right. Can you see the difference?”</p><p class="p1">Debbie and Lou nodded, not fully understanding what they were looking at. But Danni shook her head, a furrow in her brow.</p><p class="p1">“This,” the doctor said, turning her attention to Danni and gesturing to an area on the x-ray, “is where your hand was essentially shattered. Do you have any idea how this might’ve happened?”</p><p class="p1">All eyes turned to the girl in question, who for her part, just shrugged, “it got caught in a door when I was younger.”</p><p class="p1">“I see. Mrs. Ocean-Millers, could you step outside for a moment while I talk to Danni?”</p><p class="p1">Lou was about to protest, she knew exactly what the doctor was getting at, but Debbie gently shoved her out the door before she could speak up.</p><p class="p1">“Now, Danni,” all the doctor’s attention turned to the teen in front of her, flashing her a warm smile, “I understand that you’re being fostered by those two women.”</p><p class="p1">Danni frowned for a split second before nodding hesitantly; Nine Ball had probably constructed that backstory for her so there wouldn’t be too many questions.</p><p class="p1">“How long have you been living with them?”</p><p class="p1">“A couple months.”</p><p class="p1">At her answer, the doctor gave her a small, genuine smile. It was clear the break was from years before.</p><p class="p1">“And do you like living with them?”</p><p class="p1">“Yes ma’am.”</p><p class="p1">“Oh don’t call me that, it makes me feel old,” she joked, trying to make the girl more comfortable.</p><p class="p1">“Okay,” Danni replied awkwardly, trying not to fidget too much.</p><p class="p1">“Well, that’s really all I wanted to ask. I’ll tell your parents to come back in, and we’ll get you a cast and a prescription.”</p><p class="p1"><em>They’re not my parents</em>. “Okay. Thank you,” Danni offered a weak smile.</p><p class="p1">When Debbie and Lou re-entered, the doctor left, leaving them to wait once more. Debbie only lasted a few moments, before she spoke up, fixing Danni with a severe look.</p><p class="p1">“Why didn’t you come to us this time?”</p><p class="p1">Danni shrugged, fiddling with a loose thread on her sleeve, <em>because it was about you</em>, “I don’t know.”</p><p class="p1">“This can’t happen again,” her tone brooked no argument.</p><p class="p1">“It won’t,” she looked away, unable to face the force of Debbie's angry look.</p><p class="p1">“No, see this is what you do,” Lou couldn’t hold herself back anymore, “we see these bruises and cuts, and you <em>say</em> it won’t happen again, and it’s not technically a lie because you convince yourself that you won’t. But then it happens again and <em>again</em>, until we’re in the hospital because you fucking <em>broke</em> your hand!”</p><p class="p1">Danni’s eyes went wide, neither Lou nor Debbie had either sworn at her before. Hell, they’d never been mad at her like this before.</p><p class="p1">“I-I’m sorry,” her lip quivered and she kept her gaze down, fighting off tears.</p><p class="p1">Lou exchanged a look with Debbie and sighed, her voice softening “I know. And we’re going to make sure this never happens again.”</p><p class="p1">“What?” Danni breathed out, looking up. She didn't like the sound of that..</p><p class="p1">“We’re locking you out of your bathroom,” Debbie began, holding a hand up to stop the anticipated protests, “you can have it back when we can trust you. But if you break our trust one more time, you lose your door. One more time after that, we’re not above putting a baby monitor in there. And if you do it <em>one</em> <em>more time</em> after that, you will never be alone. Do you understand me?”</p><p class="p1">Instead of the anticipated fear at having one more set of parents, an unfamiliar anger rose and burned in her chest.</p><p class="p1">“That’s not fair,” she spat out, not caring how childish she sounded.</p><p class="p1">“Just prove we can trust you. We’re—”</p><p class="p1">She was cut off by the nurse who had come to put the girl’s cast on. Unwilling to continue with him there, Debbie kept her mouth shut. As the nurse put on the cast, explained how to properly take care of it, and finally left them to wait for the prescription, Danni sat in sullen silence. Once he was finally gone, Debbie continued.</p><p class="p1">“You can’t keep hurting yourself like this,” Danni ignored her, “Danni, we’re doing this for your own good.”</p><p class="p1">Hearing those words, <em>we’re doing this for your own good,</em> something in Danni snapped. There was no fear, no worry at what might be the consequences of her words, just anger, pure unadulterated anger that burned white hot as it coursed through her veins.</p><p class="p1">“For my own good?” She laughed bitterly, “you sound just like <em>them</em>.”</p><p class="p1">Both Debbie and Lou opened their mouths to defend themselves, to justify themselves to her, but it didn’t matter, she kept going.</p><p class="p1">“What? You think they said they wanted to hurt me or that they felt strong when I felt weak. <em>No</em>. Because it was for my own good, they were <em>‘helping</em>’ me, <em>‘teaching’</em> me. You know what my mother said when she put my hand in that door? Hmm? She said,” Danni changed her voice to a poor mockery of her mother’s, “don’t be afraid, my little star, мама knows best. One day you’ll thank me, but for now just hold still and let мама help.”</p><p class="p1">She took in their shocked, angry faces, though she didn’t know who the anger was directed at anymore. With a quiet scoff, she turned away, “I’m going home.”</p><p class="p1">As Debbie and Lou watched their daughter storm out of the room, all they could do was hope that the loft was still home. Because if it wasn't, they had a feeling that was going to be the last time they saw her.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>so...what'd you think? Let me know in the comments - you can also just come say hi or  to yell at me if you don't know what to say :)</p><p>what do we think, where will Danni end up? Once again, let me know in the comments, and depending on how much angst you're up for, I'll send her home</p><p>also - this medical stuff is probably highly inaccurate, so just...go with it (idk what else to tell you)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. Chapter 22</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>i made myself notes when i started planning the chapters, and this one's just called angry. so there you go - angry (don't worry, it's not all angry)</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>bolded dialogue is serbian</p><p>this one's kinda really long, I think it's the longest yet at like 5200 words, but you can do it! I mean, should I have split it up, maybe...did I, absolutely not.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">When Debbie and Lou arrived at the loft, Danni was nowhere to be found. Setting down their things, they called her name. There was no answer. They called again and again, going from room to room hoping for a sign, any sign that she was there. But there were none. Finally, they reached her room, having purposefully left it for last. If there was one place she would go, it was there.</p><p class="p1">The door was cracked open. Slowly, they pushed it open, hearts dropping when she wasn’t there. Though entering her room without her there still felt like a breach of privacy, they took a cautious step in. The bathroom door was, as ordered, locked from the inside, which one might believe to prove ineffective in a house full of criminals, but they knew Danni. That wasn’t her.</p><p class="p1">Something caught Debbie’s attention in the corner of her eye and when she saw it, she nearly collapsed from relief. Danni’s duffel was tucked neatly in the corner, and when Debbie took a closer look, she saw it was empty. The teen had unpacked. She hadn’t prepared for a quick getaway.</p><p class="p1">Getting Lou’s attention, Debbie confirmed her suspicion. Danni’s clothes were still neatly folded in the dresser, her school bag still tucked under her desk, and her journal still lay in a drawer in the bedside table. Danni hadn’t left, she just hadn’t come home yet.</p><p class="p1">Confident in their knowledge, Debbie and Lou went downstairs to wait for their daughter to return. Debbie was content to sit on the couch with a hot mug of tea between her hands, slowly sipping at it as she planned what to say, but Lou couldn’t just sit and do nothing. She paced, then went to clean the kitchen. When the kitchen was gleaming and their daughter still wasn’t home, she turned her attention to her bike. A little over ten minutes later, Danni stormed in, barely acknowledging their presences.</p><p class="p1">Her eyes were red and puffy, but her face was stony. Her un-casted fist was clenched at her side and she stared straight ahead as she strode to the stairs.</p><p class="p1">“Danni,” Lou called out, quickly wiping her hands off on the cloth she always kept by her bike.</p><p class="p1">Instead of ignoring her and continuing up the stairs like she had done before, Danni stopped and turned, staring Lou down. Her eyes were cold.</p><p class="p1">“Can we talk?”</p><p class="p1">The teen narrowed her eyes, “I’m not interested in anything you have to say.”</p><p class="p1">The two women were taken aback, she spoke tonelessly as if merely repeating words that had no meaning to her. That wasn’t their Danni.</p><p class="p1">She turned and continued up the stairs.</p><p class="p1">“We love you,” Debbie called to her, unable to watch her pull away from them like that.</p><p class="p1">Danni froze, her hand tightening on the banister. She didn’t speak, clenching her jaw. After a moment, she let out an almost imperceptible exhale before continuing up without another look at the women she was leaving behind.</p><p class="p1">She didn’t show up for dinner, nor for breakfast the next day. In fact, she was ready for school over half an hour earlier than usual in a bid to avoid Debbie and Lou. Being both unable and unwilling to stop her, they could only watch Danni hop into Remy’s old Jeep and hope that she would actually eat. It had been almost 24 hours since the girl had last eaten a proper meal.</p><p class="p1">The pattern of avoidance continued when Danni returned from school. Without even a greeting to the two women who had been waiting at the door for her, she headed up to her room and only left for an angry trip to the downstairs bathroom.</p><hr/><p class="p1">“Danni?” Debbie knocked on the girl’s door, calling her name.</p><p class="p1">“What?” The girl called back, her tone borderline hostile. Debbie was stunned into silence, barely managing to remember what she had wanted to talk to the girl about.</p><p class="p1">“It’s Friday…” she reminded the girl.</p><p class="p1">“Yeah, no shit, Sherlock.”</p><p class="p1">“Excuse me?”</p><p class="p1">An audible sigh, “what do you want?”</p><p class="p1">“Fridays are for family dinners.”</p><p class="p1">“I’m aware,” the short answer was terse and clipped. Debbie didn’t need to see her daughter’s face to see the stubborn set of her jaw and glare as she attempted to stare Debbie down through the door.</p><p class="p1">“<em>Mandatory</em> family dinners,” Debbie tried again, fully aware Danni was being deliberately obtuse.</p><p class="p1">“I fail to see your point.”</p><p class="p1">“My <em>point</em> is that if you don’t come and join us in the next ten minutes, we will come and join you. Do you understand me?” She didn’t like taking the choice away from Danni, but it wasn’t just that she wanted her daughter’s company. Danni needed to eat. But there was no answer other than a theatrical groan from the other side of the door.</p><p class="p1">“Danni…” she warned. This was not a matter she was willing to back down on.</p><p class="p1">“Yes, <em>mother,</em>” the girl spat out. Unlike the first time she’d called Debbie ‘mother’, this was not said in jest. She filled the word with all the hate and anger she could muster, knowing exactly how much it would hurt.</p><p class="p1">Debbie sighed, leaning her head gently against the door. With a quiet ‘okay’, she made her way back down to the rest of her family, ignoring Lou’s questioning look.</p><p class="p1">Exactly nine and a half minutes later, Danni loudly made her way down the stairs. Headphones resting on her neck, she served herself a bit of everything. They had opted for take-out that night, and Danni didn’t miss the fact that they’d ordered her favorite. Shoving the warm glow that arose from the fact down, she sat in the only empty seat, which, unfortunately, was right between Debbie and Lou.</p><p class="p1">With a huff of annoyance, she slumped down in her seat, putting her headphones on and propping her phone up against her water glass. Pulling up Netflix, she dug in, eating quickly in an attempt to catch up on her meals.</p><p class="p1">The moment she had set foot in the kitchen, all conversation had died down. Six of the eight women turned to her, watching her with curious looks. Where was the Danni they had all known and grown to love (for the most part)?</p><p class="p1">“Hey, Danni? Can you pass the rice, please?” Amita called from the other side of the table. When Danni didn’t respond, Amita looked around awkwardly before accepting that she wouldn’t get the rice.</p><p class="p1">“Hey, dude!” Constance was leaned over and snapped her fingers in the girl’s face. Danni looked up sharply, glaring at Constance as she pulled one side of the headphones off.</p><p class="p1">“What?”</p><p class="p1">“Amita asked for the rice.”</p><p class="p1">“If you could snap in my face, couldn’t you reach the rice?” The teen asked, voice colored with annoyance.</p><p class="p1">“Well, yeah, but…” her reasoning went unsaid, but Danni understood. It was the same reason neither Debbie nor Lou had passed Amita the rice. They were <em>worried</em> about her. But she didn’t want that, so she shoved the rice toward Amita, not caring that it spilled over the table with her rough push.</p><p class="p1">“Happy?” Danni asked, imbuing the word with as much sarcasm as she could. Scowling, she put her headphones back on properly.</p><p class="p1">Constance opened her mouth to retort back, but a warning look from Lou stopped her. They had to be careful.</p><p class="p1">Hungry from her rebellious fast, Danni scooped more food on her plate, a move that allowed Debbie to grab the girl’s phone and pause the episode she had playing.</p><p class="p1">“Hey!” Danni yanked off her headphones and grabbed for her phone. But Debbie held it out of her reach before pocketing it.</p><p class="p1">“Family dinners are for <em>family</em> time. You can have it back after dinner.”</p><p class="p1">“That’s not fair!” Danni’s scowl deepened, she didn’t care if she sounded whiny.</p><p class="p1">“Too bad,” Debbie motioned to the girl’s plate, “eat.”</p><p class="p1">The teen let out an angry huff, but obeyed, shooting daggers at her plate as she ate. Conversation more or less resumed around her, though she refused to contribute.</p><p class="p1">“Happy to have a break from school?” She was shaken from her thoughts by Lou’s question.</p><p class="p1">“I guess,” she shrugged noncommittally.</p><p class="p1">“And Remy?”</p><p class="p1">“What about him?”</p><p class="p1">“Is he happy to have a break,” Lou clarified.</p><p class="p1">“I guess.”</p><p class="p1">“Have you two got any plans over break?”</p><p class="p1">Danni sighed and dropped her fork on her plate, “I’m done. Can I go?”</p><p class="p1">Lou barely suppressed her sigh as she waved the girl off, “sure.”</p><p class="p1">With an expectant look at Debbie, her phone was returned to her and she left as quickly as she could.</p><p class="p1">“Well…that was…” Rose began, trying to find a diplomatic way of saying.</p><p class="p1">“Chilly,” Daphne chimed in, “what’s up with her?”</p><p class="p1">“Do you wanna…?” Debbie turned to Lou with a raised eyebrow. Rolling her eyes, Lou recounted the events of the past two days.</p><p class="p1">“Is there anything we can do to help?” Tammy put a reassuring hand on Debbie’s arm.</p><p class="p1">Debbie and Lou exchanged a look and shook their heads almost simultaneously. Debbie gave a strained smile, “something tells me she’s not going to want any help.”</p><hr/><p class="p1">Later that night, Debbie and Lou lay curled up in bed together, both unable to sleep, but unwilling to break the perfect calm that had descended upon them. The silence was broken, however, when Lou finally voiced her thoughts, fully prepared for her wife to shoot her down.</p><p class="p1">“We need help—”</p><p class="p1">“—no.”</p><p class="p1">There it was. Debbie’s inability to accept help. Having a team for a heist was different, everyone played their role. But here, it was something Debbie couldn’t do. She couldn’t fix it.</p><p class="p1">“Debs,” she sighed, “this is…out of control. Admit it, you don’t know what to do either.”</p><p class="p1">Rolling over to face her wife, Debbie met her gaze as best she could in the dark room, “fine, I don’t. But we’ve done it before, we don’t need h—”</p><p class="p1">“—let’s just call Dr. Linda. She warned us about this,” Lou interrupted, her voice weary.</p><p class="p1">“We <em>don’t…</em>need help. We’re enough, we <em>have</em> to be enough,” after having known Debbie for over two decades, Lou understood. She heard the tired plea, the insecurities swallowing Debbie up and dragging her into a familiar pit of self-loathing.</p><p class="p1">When Danni had arrived on their doorstep all those months ago, Debbie had told herself to stay away; she wasn’t mother material. But slowly and surely Danni had wormed her way into their hearts until Debbie thought that maybe she could be a mother. It was when she realized she would do anything for their scared girl to be happy. All she wanted was to hold her and protect her from a world that had already threatened to tear her down. But she couldn’t, she couldn’t just take away all her pain until she forgot its meaning.</p><p class="p1">So she dreamed. She dreamed of a little girl with dark eyes that matched her own and changing hair, sometimes dark brown and others, teal. The little girl would run around, playing and climbing on anything she could as she shrieked with laughter, never fear. She would eat messily with her left hand, talking animatedly even with her mouth full. Her room would be a mess, clothes and drawings strewn about the place with posters and photos of penguins lining the walls. And when she went to school, she would come home with stories of new friends and fun classes. She would never be alone again. </p><p class="p1">This girl’s eyes would never be haunted, she would never go someplace else to escape the present. She would never have cuts and bruises littering her knuckles. There would be no blood on the wall. She wouldn’t freeze or back away, she would launch herself at her mothers, trusting them to catch her, arms held open. They would tuck her into bed, leaving her only after a story and a kiss on the head. They would struggle every single morning to get her to leave bed, often resorting to bribery. She would get waffles with Nutella and bananas on the weekends or if she was very good. But she would be a troublemaker, a little demon hidden behind an angelic smile. She would learn what it meant to be an Ocean, but she would always have a choice. They would love her and she would love them. They would be happy.</p><p class="p1">But then Debbie would catch herself, guilt swelling inside her. How could she dream like that when they already had their perfect daughter? How could she wish for that life when the one they had was perfect? Maybe not everything went well, but they had their family, and with it, they could do anything. So she would stop, but not before one last dream, one last promise.</p><p class="p1">Their daughter would never have to be afraid again.</p><p class="p1">With a small smile, Debbie sighed and rested her forehead against Lou’s. She was being selfish, she knew. But there was still that little part of her that wanted to be the one to fix everything. She wanted to be the one to bring Danni back to them.</p><p class="p1">“Let’s just…” Debbie sighed again, she didn’t like admitting defeat, “give her a couple of days to cool down. If she doesn’t, we’ll call the shrink, okay?”</p><p class="p1">“Okay,” Debbie could hear the smug smile in her wife’s words.</p><p class="p1">“Good, now shut up and go to sleep.”</p><hr/><p class="p1">A couple days passed, but Danni didn’t ‘cool down’. If anything, she heated up. The worst of it came that Sunday when they caught Danni creeping back into the house in the middle of the night.</p><p class="p1">“Where’ve you been?” Lou stood with her arms folded across her chest, frowning at the teen.</p><p class="p1">“Why do <em>you</em> care?” Danni mimicked her position, awkwardly maneuvering her cast to cross her arms.</p><p class="p1">“We were worried,” Debbie spoke up from her place on the couch, she didn’t want another fight.</p><p class="p1">“Well I’m fine,” she held her arms out, gesturing at herself.</p><p class="p1">“Danni, you can’t just leave before we wake up and then come back in the middle of the night!” Lou’s voice rose, “we almost got Nine-Ball to find you.”</p><p class="p1">“Why didn’t you?”</p><p class="p1">“Because we still trust you,” Debbie stood and joined Lou.</p><p class="p1">The teen scoffed, derision clear. She scowled and met their level gazes with her angry one, “well I can do whatever the fuck I want.”</p><p class="p1">Pushing past them, she headed toward the stairs only stopped by a hand on her wrist. She quickly spun and found herself face to face with Lou.</p><p class="p1">“Don’t run away from us.”</p><p class="p1">Her eyes fixed on the point where Lou’s hand met her wrist, Danni wrenched her arm away. She glared defiantly at them, “Why not? I can do whatever I want.”</p><p class="p1">“Danni, we just want you to trust us. We’re your—” Debbie began, only to be interrupted.</p><p class="p1">“—my what?!” She yelled. It was the first time she had ever truly raised her voice at them, “you’re <em>nothing</em> to me! I don’t have to tell you where I am or what I’m doing. You have <em>no</em> say over me!”</p><p class="p1">Leaving the two women in silence, she stormed up the stairs and slammed her door shut. When Lou turned to Debbie to demand or, if she had to, plead that they get help, the other woman already had her phone in hand, scrolling through her list of contacts until she reached Linda’s.</p><p class="p1">With a broad grin, Lou sauntered over to her wife and drew her into a deep kiss, ignoring Debbie’s mock annoyed swat.</p><p class="p1">“Thank you.”</p><p class="p1">“Yeah well, it’s not for you. It’s for—hi, Dr. Linda, it’s Debbie Ocean,” her phone voice came on as she put the phone on speakerphone.</p><p class="p1"><em>“Debbie, it’s almost midnight. Can it wait till the morning?”</em> The therapist had clearly been asleep, her voice bleary.</p><p class="p1">“No, it can’t. It’s about Danni,” Lou cut in.</p><p class="p1"><em>“Oh, um, just give me a moment,”</em> there was shuffling on the other side of the phone as Linda situated herself in her study,<em> “okay. What’s going on?”</em></p><p class="p1">With a brief exchanged look with her wife, Debbie recounted the events of the past few days, starting at when Danni left therapy.</p><p class="p1">
  <em>“Ah, yes, I was afraid this might happen. Now, remember how I warned you about letting her pull away, that’s exactly what’s happening now. And if you’re not careful, you might end up being the ones to push her away.”</em>
</p><p class="p1">“We know,” Debbie cocked her head, looking at the phone, “and what was that about being afraid this was going to happen?”</p><p class="p1">A sigh, <em>“I can’t share the specifics with you, but Danni and I were discussing her parents and the two of you. I may’ve prompted her to think about her relationship with the two of you in a more parental aspect. Now that, combined with her answer when I asked if she was happy is most likely what’s driving this behavior.”</em></p><p class="p1">Debbie and Lou were almost too afraid to ask, “what was the answer?”</p><p class="p1">Linda hesitated and when she spoke again, her voice was apologetic, <em>“I’m afraid I don’t feel comfortable sharing that with you, but you should ask Danni. I doubt she'll tell you what she told me, but it’ll be a start.”</em></p><p class="p1">“Right that’s another thing, why does she trust you more than us?” That question had been plaguing Lou constantly since she had heard Linda’s advice.</p><p class="p1">A dry chuckle, <em>“she doesn’t,”</em> Debbie and Lou exchanged a look of confusion, <em>“she doesn’t trust me at all, so I’m not dangerous. I don’t have any power over her. But you do. She doesn’t like to admit it, but she really trusts you and it scares her.”</em></p><p class="p1">“She’s not scared of us. Didn’t you hear us, she swears, she argues with us over everything, she just yelled at us. She’s clearly not afraid,” Debbie insisted, though she had a sneaking suspicion her words didn’t quite ring true.</p><p class="p1">Linda’s voice turned sympathetic, <em>“there’s more than one kind of fear, Debbie. For example, Danni’s not afraid of physical pain, she even craves it when her mind is going too fast for her. So, yes, in a sense, when she’s swearing and arguing, she’s not afraid of what might happen. It's familiar to her, she anticipates it, braces herself to be slapped or beaten, but it doesn’t scare her.”</em></p><p class="p1">“And the other?”</p><p class="p1">Linda sighed, <em>“look, I’ve only known Danni a few weeks, but it’s easy to see that she doesn’t trust easily. Her trust and love will be the greatest gifts she can give you. She’s afraid because—oh, how can I put this? Okay, this sort of fear is interconnected with the first. She’s afraid because of the pain, not of it, if that makes sense.”</em></p><p class="p1">“How is that different? Doesn’t that mean she’s still scared of what we could do?” Debbie asked, annoyed.</p><p class="p1"><em>“Well, yes and no,” </em>both women on the other side of the line had to stifle groans,<em> “if you hurt her, you’ll break her trust and she’ll be alone again. But as she trusts you more and more, you’ll become more like parents to her, and she doesn’t want that because, to her, parents mean lies and pain.</em>”</p><p class="p1">Debbie and Lou were taken back to when they had caught Danni drunk. Not thinking clearly, she had shared more about her parents than she had meant to.</p><p class="p1">
  <b>“I gotta be careful ‘cause, you know, they weren’t always super mean or always hurting me. Sometimes they were nice, like you guys’re, a-an’ they told me that they loved me and they were proud of me. But then…I wasn’t g-good enough or I did something bad. That’s why it hurt so much. I wasn’t good enough for them to love me, so what makes you any different? I dunno, I guess I’m just waiting for the other foot to fall.”</b>
</p><p class="p1">They had been her parents, and every time she thought she could trust them again, they hurt her. Being lied to again and again only made the next time hurt even more. Danni had no real reason to believe that it wouldn’t happen again, that the cycle wouldn’t continue. She had no reason to believe that Debbie and Lou wouldn’t suddenly snap and hurt her or that she would disappoint them and they would hurt her or she wouldn’t be good enough and they would hurt her. She wouldn't believe the cycle was complete.</p><p class="p1">“We know what you mean. Thanks doc.”</p><p class="p1">
  <em>“Of course, I’m happy I could help.”</em>
</p><p class="p1">“But how do we fix this?” Lou asked, almost pleading with Linda.</p><p class="p1"><em>“I told you, don’t let her pull away. She’s angry and scared because she’s learning to trust and love again. She’s also guilty, she doesn’t think she deserves her life. The only thing you can do is talk to her…please. You need to communicate. Show her </em> <span class="u"><span class="s1"> <em>and</em> </span></span> <em> tell her how much you love her and that she deserves to be happy.”</em></p><p class="p1">“I think,” Debbie reached for Lou’s hand, slowly rubbing her thumb over the back of her hand, “…we can do that.”</p><p class="p1"><em>“Good, I’m glad. Now, I need to go back to sleep and you need to go talk to your daughter. Good luck,” </em>without waiting for their reply, Linda hung up.</p><p class="p1">With a gentle squeeze to Lou’s hand, Debbie dropped it and headed to the stairs. After only a moment of hesitation, Lou followed.</p><p class="p1">Together, they knocked on her door. What seemed to be an eternity later, the door swung open and there stood Danni, bleary-eyed and hair mussed by sleep. She was wearing a pair of baggy sweatpants that looked suspiciously like the pair Lou had lost from the laundry earlier that week and one of the two sleep shirts she had packed when she left home, a faded blue, cotton shirt with a penguin on it.</p><p class="p1">“We need to talk. Can we come in?” Fully expecting her to refuse and spit on their request, they were surprised when the girl wordlessly stood aside, opening the door a little wider.</p><p class="p1">Still not speaking, she sat on her rumpled bedspread and gestured to the foot of the bed, silently offering them a seat. They sat, Lou with her legs crossed under her and Debbie at an angle with her feet on the ground. They waited for her to start.</p><p class="p1">“What do you want?” She tried to project anger into it, but failed miserably. She was too tired to fight, not when it wasn’t what she wanted.</p><p class="p1">“Are you happy…here…with us?” Lou asked, Linda’s question burning in her mind.</p><p class="p1">Danni’s eyes widened in recognition and rubbed a hand tiredly over her face, “am I happy?” She watched them carefully, chewing her lip in thought, “I thi—yes. I’m trying, but it’s…hard.”</p><p class="p1">“Why’s that?”</p><p class="p1">“‘Cause this isn’t even supposed to be my life. You’re supposed to be Elle’s parents,” she looked away, her cheeks reddening.</p><p class="p1">“No,” Danni looked up at Debbie’s simple declaration, “maybe you could make that argument about the summer, but we came for <em>you</em> and only you. It <em>is</em> your life and you deserve it, okay?”</p><p class="p1">“Okay,” Danni whispered, not sounding entirely convinced.</p><p class="p1">“Good. Now, if you’re happy, why are you so angry?”</p><p class="p1">This, Danni could answer easily. She had been using it as an excuse for days. Scowling, she said, “‘cause you’re not my parents and you locked me out of my bathroom like you had any say over what I do.”</p><p class="p1">“At yourself. Why are you so angry at yourself,” Debbie corrected herself.</p><p class="p1">“I’m not,” Danni crossed her arms, jutting her chin out stubbornly.</p><p class="p1">“We know you are, don’t lie.”</p><p class="p1">“What happened to my twelve hours?” Danni knew she was just being difficult, but she was tired and they couldn’t know the truth.</p><p class="p1">“We would give you that, but seeing as you exceeded your last twelve hours by at least three days, we would like an answer now,” Debbie told her firmly.</p><p class="p1">Latching on to a distraction, Danni asked, brow furrowed, “what were my last twelve hours?”</p><p class="p1">“What were you talking to Skye about?” Lou cut in.</p><p class="p1">“Doesn’t matter,” Danni muttered, fiddling with a loose thread on the bedspread.</p><p class="p1">“Fine, then tell us why you’re mad at yourself.”</p><p class="p1">“I thought I was letting you in for a talk, not a fucking interrogation,” the teen snapped, more awake than before.</p><p class="p1">“We’re sorry, love,” Danni looked up, startled, and Lou continued, “we just want to know what’s going on in that cute little head of yours.”</p><p class="p1">“Why?”</p><p class="p1">“Because,” Lou put her hand on Danni’s knee and met her gaze, “we love you…so much.”</p><p class="p1">That got her a watery smile from the girl, tears welling up in her eyes because they hadn’t lied yet. Her parents lied and hurt her and they never, ever apologized for anything.</p><p class="p1">“Hey,” Debbie leaned forward and gently brushed a stray tear from Danni’s face before continuing in a teasing voice, “you know how much we love you?”</p><p class="p1">Danni rolled her eyes and offered them a weak smile even as another tear slipped down her cheek, “to the moon and back?”</p><p class="p1">“Mhm,” both women shifted to the top of the bed, sandwiching the teen between them, taking care to avoid her casted arm, “more.”</p><p class="p1">“The sun and back?” Danni pulled her legs to her chest and rested her head against Debbie’s shoulder, tears falling freely.</p><p class="p1">Lou wrapped an arm around their daughter as Debbie lay her head on Danni’s, murmuring her answer against the girl’s hair, “more.”</p><p class="p1">Danni sniffed, holding back sobs, “the end of the galaxy?”</p><p class="p1">“More,” they held her as sobs wracked her small body. She gasped for air, torn between pulling them close and pushing them away.</p><p class="p1">“P-please…”</p><p class="p1">The rest of the plea didn’t need saying. <em>Please don’t hurt me. Please, I’m trying. Please help me, I trust you. </em></p><p class="p1">Neither woman knew what to say, so they held her as she cried, tears streaming down her face in a never-ending torrent. Finally after what felt like hours, her sobs died down and she collapsed against them.</p><p class="p1">When she spoke again, she was quiet, her voice hoarse, “to the end of the universe and back?”</p><p class="p1">“More,” and it wasn’t just a reassurance, but a promise. They would always love her, even when she didn’t believe it.</p><p class="p1">Danni let out a weak chuckle before yawning widely, “the universe never ends.”</p><p class="p1">“And do you know what that means?”</p><p class="p1">The girl let out another yawn, “you’re lying?”</p><p class="p1">“Uh-uh, you know our rules. We will never lie to you,” Debbie smiled fondly at the tired girl, though she spoke seriously, needing to make sure Danni understood.</p><p class="p1">“You’ll never stop loving me?” Danni tried again hesitantly.</p><p class="p1">“Exactly,” Lou smoothed down the girl’s unruly hair, smiling when Danni snuggled closer. As old and mature as she could act, Debbie and Lou both knew simple touch was the one thing Danni craved most. She could act as tough as she wanted, but never failed to melt into a warm hug. As one of the few things it seemed they could give her, neither Debbie nor Lou were going to deprive her of that. And not that they would ever admit it, but lying there, holding their daughter felt just as right to the two of them as it did to Danni.</p><p class="p1">“Mhm,” Danni stretched out and slid under the covers, keeping her drooping eyes on the two women, “m’tired.”</p><p class="p1">“I know, baby,” Debbie removed the remaining tear marks from the girl’s face, “go to sleep.”</p><p class="p1">“Don’t wanna” she replied stubbornly, her words slurring together.</p><p class="p1">“Well you need to,” came Debbie’s firm answer.</p><p class="p1">“Nuh-uh,” she opened her eyes as wide as she could, “I don’t ever have to sleep. I’m gonna stay up foreeeeever.”</p><p class="p1">“C’mon, it’s late, Danni. You need sleep,” Lou had to fight off a smile at their daughter’s antics.</p><p class="p1">“Noooooo,” she whined, yawning widely.</p><p class="p1">“Okay, how about this, Lou and I will lie here for a bit and we can all cuddle while you tell us why you don’t want to go to sleep,” Debbie offered, knowing if they could get her to stop actively fighting it, she would be asleep in an instant.</p><p class="p1">“‘kay,” she mumbled, not entirely sure what she had agreed to, having stopped listening when she heard ‘cuddle’. Debbie and Lou slid under the covers next to her and rested Danni’s casted arm on her stomach, staying close so they would have less of a chance of falling out of the bed.</p><p class="p1">“Alright, storytime, Danni,” Debbie smirked at the girl’s confused look.</p><p class="p1">“…<b>once upon a time there lived an emperor who had three sons</b>,” they let her speak for a moment, marveling at the way the sounds rolled easily off her tongue when she wasn’t using the language out of fear.</p><p class="p1">“No, baby. Remember, you’re telling us why you don’t want to sleep,” Debbie reminded her.</p><p class="p1">“<b>because</b>—”</p><p class="p1">“—in English please.”</p><p class="p1">“That <em>was</em> English.”</p><p class="p1">“No,” Lou met Debbie’s gaze over Danni’s head, barely suppressing her grin, “it wasn’t.”</p><p class="p1">“Oh,” she was quiet for a moment, so quiet they almost thought she’d fallen asleep. But then she began to speak, mumbling, her words blending together in a tired haze, “I don’t wanna let this be a dream ‘cause…’cause then I’d have t’be mad again. I don’t wanna be mad again.”</p><p class="p1">“It’s not a dream.”</p><p class="p1">“That’s exactly what a dream would say,” Danni looked accusingly at each woman in turn.</p><p class="p1">“Okay, love, keep going.”</p><p class="p1">Trying to rub at her eyes with her left, her hand was quickly caught before she could accidentally injure herself, “I wanna be happy, but that wouldn’t be super nice for Elle. And…” she scrunched her face up, fighting a yawn, “and you could still be really really mean. I don’t,” the yawn broke free,” I don’t think I’d…like that.”</p><p class="p1">“Danni, you should be happy because <em>you</em> want to be. But I bet Elle would want you to be too,”Lou told her quietly.</p><p class="p1">“You want us to stay?” Debbie gently tilted the teen’s face toward her.</p><p class="p1">She grumbled, but looked at them with such hope and longing in her tired eyes, “m’not a baby.”</p><p class="p1">“Never said you were,” Debbie answered evenly.</p><p class="p1">“M’kay,” came the simple reply as Danni buried her face into the woman’s shoulder.</p><p class="p1">“Alright, you can come sleep in our bed, yours is too small,” Lou slid out of the bed.</p><p class="p1">“It’s tooo far.”</p><p class="p1">“C’mon, Lou will carry you.”</p><p class="p1">“I’m probably too—” she cut herself off with a squeak when Lou easily scooped her up and carried her bridal style down the hall, before gently depositing her in the middle of the bed. By the time they were both ready for bed, Danni was sprawled out on her stomach in the middle of the bed lightly snoring, her face pressed into a pillow.</p><p class="p1">Carefully rearranging the girl’s limbs until she wasn’t taking up the majority of the bed, Debbie and Lou squeezed themselves in on either side. It was a tight fit, Danni still took up more space than one would think she needed, and they knew she often didn’t sleep well, often flailing her limbs in a way that guaranteed injury by cast to the face, but they wouldn’t have it any other way. This was what they had been missing.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>let me know what you thought! what was your favorite part, least favorite part, whatever (or just come say hi) :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. Chapter 23</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>christmas with the ocean-millers</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>sorry this took so long. to everyone who's still here...thank you and i hope you enjoy. and to everyone who has left a comment or a kudos, thank you - i would've given this up a long time ago without your support :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">Months ago, the team had come to a general consensus that should they still be close when winter came around, they would celebrate the holidays together as best they could. With a general lack of religion, it was quickly decided that Christmas would be the best for them due to the high concentration of gifts in a short amount of time and no need for excessive holiday spirit. Those with families were technically allowed to bring them, so Nine Ball’s sister would be joining them, but Tammy opted to stay home with her kids. They weren’t exactly ready to meet her criminal extended family.</p><p class="p1">All five women plus Veronica arrived at the loft on Christmas Eve. Since they usually didn’t all spend the night at the same time, there weren’t enough rooms and no one wanted to sleep on the first floor, the heating worked much better in the bedrooms. So they doubled and tripled up as needed. Rose and Daphne in one room, Nine Ball and Amita in another, Danni, Constance, and Veronica all shared the teen’s room, and, of course, Debbie and Lou stayed in theirs.</p><p class="p1">All complaints Danni had over having to share her space with a complete stranger were quickly silenced with gentle shove in Veronica’s direction. It was their not so subtle way of trying to get Danni to make more friends because as far as they knew, she only had Remy at school. Even if she still thought she didn’t need anyone, one more friend couldn’t hurt.</p><hr/><p class="p1">“Can I go spend the night with Skye? She invited me over,” Danni flopped down into an armchair next to the couch Lou was sitting on.</p><p class="p1">“It’s Christmas Eve,” Lou replied without looking up from her book.</p><p class="p1">“Uh huh, and…?”</p><p class="p1">“And…you don’t want to spend Christmas with us?” Lou finally looked up, fixing the girl with a questioning look.</p><p class="p1">“Uhh, I just thought you would, you know, already have traditions and stuff. I didn’t want to intrude and Skye already said I could come over,” she shifted uncomfortably in her chair.</p><p class="p1">Lou exhaled and turned so she was facing the girl, “Danni, you realize this is our first Christmas as a family? Debbie’s first in five years. We don’t have any traditions. We thought we’d just make some new ones…got any you want to keep doing?”</p><p class="p1">The teen gave her a look of amused bemusement, “no, not really. None worth following through with.”</p><p class="p1">“Was Christmas not…” caught out of her depth, Lou didn’t quite know how to proceed. How does one ask their daughter if she didn’t get to enjoy Christmas because of her abusive parents?</p><p class="p1">With only of moment of confusion, Danni’s face cleared in understanding. She shook her head, “no, actually. It was one of the few times a year when we were actually like a family. Sometimes we’d go to Serbia to visit my mother’s family, but we usually stayed home and Skyped them on Christmas Eve. We always did Christmas Eve dinner with my mother’s family, on Skype or on person, and then lunch with my dad’s family on Christmas.”</p><p class="p1">“Sounds nice.”</p><p class="p1">“It was,” she smiled wistfully, thinking of better, simpler times, “my mother wasn’t all bad, you know. I know I make her sound evil, but I never thought she was…not really. It was easier when I was younger though, before I realized the things she did couldn’t be out of love. Or if they were, that it was a kind of love I didn’t want.”</p><p class="p1">“She still hurt you,” Lou wasn’t going to stand by and watch her daughter defend the woman who had all but destroyed her.</p><p class="p1">“Yeah,” Danni acknowledged the truth with nothing more than a tiny defeated sigh, “they both did. But they were still my parents. Don’t I still owe them something? There were good times. My dad used to call me ‘cabbage’…in English, never in French. That would’ve made too much sense,” she chuckled at the explanation he had given her, “and my mother used to tell me stories every night before bed. They were usually from kids’ story books, but on special nights, like Christmas Eve, she’d tell me old folk tales. Those were always my favorite,” she shook her head, giving Lou a rueful smile, “doesn’t even matter anymore. I just kinda wish I’d never grown up. I don’t really know when it happened, but I just stopped believing them and everything got worse ‘cause I wasn’t their cute, little, <em>compliant</em>, daughter. I mean, the first part of my childhood was basically blissful ignorance. Well, maybe not ignorance, but when things got bad,” her voice turned mocking, “I always knew <em>мама</em> and <em>papa</em> would be there to kiss it better.”</p><p class="p1">Dropping her head to rest on the back of the armchair, Danni blew out a breath, jumping when Lou put a hand on her knee, compelling her to look up. The girl straightened and ran her hand through her hair, “sorry, I bet that’s not what you had in mind when you asked me that.”</p><p class="p1">“<em>Don’t</em>,” Lou didn’t need to finish her sentence. <em>Don’t apologize. Don’t blame yourself. Don’t push me away again.</em></p><p class="p1">The teen sighed and nodded, shooting Lou another half-hearted smile, “yeah. Anyway,” she shook herself in a bid to dispel unwanted memories, “can Skye come over then? I’m the only family she’s got.”</p><p class="p1">“Sure.” They had been wanting to get to know the hacker better anyway.</p><p class="p1">“And Fitz?”</p><p class="p1">“The cat? No.”</p><p class="p1">“But Tammy’s not even coming. I’ll vacuum after.”</p><p class="p1">As tough as she was, Lou couldn’t resist the puppy dog eyes directed at her for long and relented with a mock annoyed tone, “fine. But you better keep a close eye on him.”</p><p class="p1">“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” Danni grinned and rushed off, already pulling her phone out.</p><p class="p1">Shaking her head, Lou returned to her book, unable to keep a smile from her lips. It never ceased to amaze her how many different sides of Danni they saw, how she seemed old beyond her years one moment and the next, a kid who just wanted someone to love her.</p><hr/><p class="p1">The next morning, Danni was up before the sun as she often was, but that morning, she had places to be and things to do. After carefully placing a sticky-note on Constance’s forehead with a warning not to touch any of her things, she headed downstairs. Assuming that the rest of the team were late risers, she had to do a double-take when she passed the kitchen and saw Rose making herself tea.</p><p class="p1">“Rose?”</p><p class="p1">“Oh, erm, Happy Christmas, Danni,” Rose took a seat at the table, patting the space across from her for Danni.</p><p class="p1">“Merry Christmas, Rose,” the teen sank into the proffered seat.</p><p class="p1">"Didn’t think anyone would be up yet,” she sipped at her fresh tea.</p><p class="p1">“Yeah, me neither,” Danni answered a bit awkwardly, she wasn’t exactly sure why she’d gotten the woman’s attention in the first place.</p><p class="p1">Rose nodded, not quite oblivious to the awkward tension, “right, well, want some tea? It’s, er, some sort of herbal blend,” she grabbed the packet, holding it away from her face as she squinted down at it, “lemon ginger.”</p><p class="p1">“No, thanks. I actually—” she pulled her phone out, checking the time, and shrugged, she didn’t have to go just yet, “might make some hot chocolate. It’s cold.”</p><p class="p1">“Yeah,” weather was a neutral topic, “it snowed quite a bit last night.”</p><p class="p1">“Really?” Danni leaned over the counter to look out the window. Clearly they had different definitions on what ‘quite a bit’ was. There were a couple inches of snow dusting the ground, nothing compared to how much there would be back home, but enough to make her rethink her decision of wearing sneakers out.</p><p class="p1">They didn’t speak for the next couple minutes as Danni grabbed a thermos and began her hot chocolate preparation. When they finally spoke again, it was Rose’s Irish lilt that broke the silence.</p><p class="p1">“Are you, erm, giving it to them today?”</p><p class="p1">“I think so, yeah,” the microwave beeped, and she carefully poured the hot chocolate into her thermos, “thank you…again. It’d look <em>so</em> much worse if you hadn’t helped me.”</p><p class="p1">“No, it wouldn’t,” Rose brushed off her thanks with a small smile that belied her happiness at the praise, “it would’ve been just fine. You’re very talented.”</p><p class="p1">“Thank you,” Danni blushed and looked away, “but still, I don’t get how you got them so neat.”</p><p class="p1">“Ah, well it’s just a matter of practice really.”</p><p class="p1">Danni nodded and checked the time again, “I should get going,” she grabbed her coat and headed for the door, thermos in hand, “oh! I almost forgot,” she turned back around, “can you tell Debbie and Lou I’ll be back in an hour or two?”</p><p class="p1">“Er, yeah, yeah of course.”</p><p class="p1">“Thanks, you’re the best!”</p><p class="p1">“Au revoir, ma chèrie!” Rose called after her. They’d grown closer after Rose had helped Danni with her project. Besides, it was difficult for anyone to find Rose threatening.</p><p class="p1">Danni turned and gave her a quick wave, “à toute à l’heure!”</p><hr/><p class="p1">True to her word, Danni arrived back at the loft an hour and a half later. Skye by her side holding a cat carrier, Danni pushed open the door with her foot, arms laden with two large bags. The moment the door opened, she was met with a blast of warmth, a welcome relief from the temperature outside, and the smell of fresh French toast.</p><p class="p1">“Ooh, presents,” Daphne sidled up to them, sipping at whatever was in her mug.</p><p class="p1">Danni hummed in assent, making her way to the huge, decorated tree that stood in corner and placed the carefully wrapped gifts under it.</p><p class="p1">“Is that what you were doing this morning, some last minute shopping?” Daphne followed her to the tree.</p><p class="p1">“Nope…is that eggnog?” she peered into the woman’s mug.</p><p class="p1">“Maybe…want some?”</p><p class="p1">Danni laughed, “yeah, no. Something tells me Lou doesn’t hold back with the alcohol.”</p><p class="p1">“True, but that didn’t really stop you before, did it?” The look Daphne got in response was almost enough to make her regret her words.</p><p class="p1">“Thanks, Daph. That’s really what I wanted to think about now,” she shot her another look before rolling her eyes, putting the topic behind them, “it’s not even 9:00 yet.”</p><p class="p1">Daphne pouted and clutched her mug to her chest, “it’s Christmas.”</p><p class="p1">“Uh huh,” amused, she grinned and walked back to Skye. Freeing Fitz from his carrier, she scooped him up, chuckling when he rubbed his face against hers, purring. Seeing Skye was clearly uncomfortable surrounded by people she didn’t know, she gently knocked her shoulder against Skye’s.</p><p class="p1">“Wanna get French toast?”</p><p class="p1">“Duh. You know, <em>someone</em> made me skip breakfast,” she mock glared at Danni, “so I’m starving.”</p><p class="p1">“Debbie, Lou, you know Skye,” Danni gave half-hearted introductions as she snagged a piece of French toast from a plate.</p><p class="p1">“Hi, thanks again for letting me come. Sorry, I don’t have any gifts for you guys. It was kinda last minute.”</p><p class="p1">“Eh, that’s fine, we don’t have any for you either. Besides, I know a couple of the others are excited to meet the <em>great</em> Skyenet.”</p><p class="p1">Danni snorted, knowing exactly how true it was. As almost a testament to Debbie’s words, Veronica came strolling in and headed straight for Skye.</p><p class="p1">“Hey,” she stuck a hand out with a shit-eating grin, “I’m Veronica, Leslie’s little sister. She’s comin’ over now, so I’m jus’ gonna give you a warning. She’s totally been fangirling over you since she heard Danni knows ya.”</p><p class="p1">“Uh, Leslie?”</p><p class="p1">“Nine Ball,” Danni supplied helpfully.</p><p class="p1">As if summoned by her name, Nine Ball appeared and affectionately shoved Veronica away, muttering something about an ‘annoying little shit’. When the two hackers started talking, Danni set Fitz down and headed back to the stove. She knew when she wasn’t needed.</p><p class="p1">“Where’d you go this morning?” Lou asked as she piled French toast onto Danni’s plate.</p><p class="p1">Danni shrugged, “out.”</p><p class="p1">Rolling her eyes, Lou handed her the syrup before gently pushing her toward the sitting area where everyone else had congregated to eat. Taking a seat next to Daphne on the couch and propping her feet up on the coffee table, she dug in.</p><p class="p1">“So…Danni.”</p><p class="p1">“Yes?” Danni turned to Daphne, her eyebrows raised expectantly.</p><p class="p1">The older woman leaned back and slung and arm across the back of the couch, “if you weren’t doing some last minute shopping, where’d you go?”</p><p class="p1">“Shopping?” Danni ignored the second half of the question, “is that all you think about?” She teased, huffing out a laugh at Daphne’s pout.</p><p class="p1">“Hey! I think about other stuff.”</p><p class="p1">“Like…?”</p><p class="p1">“Like…” Daphne had a smug look on her face, “figuring out your super secret codename was you.”</p><p class="p1">“That was you?” Danni couldn’t keep the shock out of her voice.</p><p class="p1">“Mhm hmm, I’m more than just a pretty face,” Daphne smirked. When she was younger, she might’ve been offended and made a scene, but growing up in the film industry and then joining a group of criminals taught her a thing or two about the power of being underestimated.</p><p class="p1">“Yeah,” Danni mused to herself, “how’d you do it?”</p><p class="p1">“It wasn’t <em>that</em> subtle. I mean, c’mon. Mercury — god of tricksters and all that,” Daphne waved her hand around, “also, you know…morning star. It was good, I guess I was just better.”</p><p class="p1">“I mean, it was pretty subtle,” Danni frowned.</p><p class="p1">“Well, maybe,” Daphne preened. If there was one thing she didn’t lack, it was self-confidence.</p><p class="p1">“You weren’t even supposed to learn the name though, right <em>Skye</em>,” the teen looked pointedly at her friend who was still deep in conversation with Nine Ball.</p><p class="p1">“You really wanna tell me I was wrong?” Skye raised an eyebrow at her.</p><p class="p1">Rolling her eyes, Danni flipped her off. Debbie and Lou exchanged a look, that was new. The rest of the morning continued with minimal complications. They opened presents, each receiving one from each person, except for Skye, which Danni quickly made up for when she dumped a pile of gifts on the hacker’s lap. After present-opening, they had a late lunch prepared, of course, by Lou with minimal help from the others. Once lunch was done, they moved back to the sitting area to set up some games. Seeing her chance, Danni pulled Debbie and Lou aside, ignoring the Rose’s knowing look.</p><p class="p1">“There was actually one more thing I wanted to…give you,” Danni shifted nervously on her feet.</p><p class="p1">“Well we’re not going to say ‘no’ to more presents,” Debbie smirked, trying to assuage the girl’s anxiety.</p><p class="p1">“‘Kay,” Danni nodded, still looking too nervous for Debbie and Lou’s liking, “it’s in my room…can we?”</p><p class="p1">“Lead the way.”</p><p class="p1">When they reached her room, Danni gestured for them to sit on the bed and grabbed the large paper portfolio they’d seen her bring home when school ended. Gripping it tightly in her fist, she took a deep breath, fortifying herself, and turned to face them.</p><p class="p1">“In art class, we had a, um, big final project that we started a couple weeks ago. We were supposed to make self portraits with different or…more unconventional materials that we thought represented our family and how it’s shaped us. And…” she pulled out her project and held it out to them, staring at the ground, “this is mine.”</p><p class="p1">Gently taking the project from their daughter, Debbie and Lou examined it. The paper had been viciously torn apart and crudely stitched back together with black thread. The drawing itself was almost entirely black and white, save for the girl’s hair. Bisected by a line of stitches, one half was dark reddish-brown and the other faded to teal.</p><p class="p1">After a few minutes of no reaction from the two women, Danni snatched it back from them, biting her lip nervously. It had become her new tell since she had broken her hand. “Rose helped me with the stitching. She did the neater part. And um, Constance and Daphne helped me think of the hair thing. I-I was going to add more stuff to represent everyone else, but I—”</p><p class="p1">“Danni,” Lou quickly interrupted the girl’s nervous ramble, “it’s really good.”</p><p class="p1">“Really?” The teen looked so hopeful the two women couldn’t help but feel their hearts break a little.</p><p class="p1">“Yeah,” Lou told her firmly, “right, Debbie?”</p><p class="p1">Debbie nodded, but didn’t answer, something on the floor having caught her eye. A post-it note had fallen out of the portfolio when Danni took out her project. Picking it up off the ground, her expression turned incredulous.</p><p class="p1">“You got a B+ on this?” She turned to Danni, holding up the note with the grade scribbled across it in red.</p><p class="p1">“I’m sorry?” The girl offered weakly, looking down and taking a small step back.</p><p class="p1">Realizing her mistake, Debbie shot up and quickly tried to reassure the girl, “no, Danni, I don’t care that you got a B+,” Danni didn’t look convinced, but paused her slow retreat, “I just think you deserved better. Your teacher must be blind because this is beautiful. You have real talent.”</p><p class="p1">“Oh. It’s because I didn’t use enough of the ‘unconventional’ materials, but…thank you,” she still didn’t look entirely convinced, but shifted back toward them, holding the project at her side.</p><p class="p1">“Come here,” Debbie scooched away from Lou and patted the newly open space between the two, “why don’t you tell us some more about it?”</p><p class="p1">With a tentative smile, Danni settled down between them, leaning her head against Lou’s shoulder, “I thought—well,” she sighed, “I ripped it up ‘cause I didn’t like it. I didn’t like that they made me into that person.”</p><p class="p1">“Hey,” Danni tilted her head up to look at Lou, “there’s nothing wrong with that person. We love her.”</p><p class="p1">“Maybe…but that’s not me anymore. I’m this one,” her gaze returned to the portrait on her lap, her finger lighting tracing the stitches, “‘cause you helped me and you’re still helping me get better. You made—no, you make me think that I can be loved. And you make me want to be good enough fo—”</p><p class="p1">“You’re already good enough,” Lou interrupted fiercely, wrapping an arm around the girl at her side.</p><p class="p1">Danni offered them a weak smile, “I—”</p><p class="p1">“We know,” this time Debbie was the one to interrupt, “and we’ll keep saying it until you believe it.”</p><p class="p1">The girl gave a small nod, turning her attention back to the portrait, “you know, the first thing I did when I came here—to New York I mean, was dye my hair.”</p><p class="p1">“Why?”</p><p class="p1">She shrugged, “My hair’s lighter and redder than Elle’s was and we didn’t know what her dad looked like, so it made sense to dye it. We were just going to dye it darker, like it is now, so I would look more like her, but I wanted it to be really different ‘cause I know my mother would’ve had a heart attack if she’d seen it. Everyone always says how much I look like her.”</p><p class="p1">“What does it look like?”</p><p class="p1">“I showed you that picture of the two of us. That’s my real hair.”</p><p class="p1">They hadn’t been focused on what color her hair was when she’d shown the picture, but thinking back, they remembered Danni’s dark auburn hair, more brown than red next to Elle’s darker hair that was a near match to Debbie’s. They had been lucky that Elle looked more like her biological father than mother because, otherwise, had Danni shown that picture to Debbie, the gig would’ve been up.</p><p class="p1">“Danni, I don’t want to get ahead of myself here,” Debbie hesitated and glanced over the girl’s head at Lou, “but are you trying to tell us something?”</p><p class="p1">“I don’t want you to be my parents!” Danni blurted out before clapping a hand over her mouth in horror. She didn’t move away.</p><p class="p1">“Oh,” Lou couldn’t keep the hurt from her voice, “well, Merry Christmas to you too."</p><p class="p1">“Sorry,” Danni tried weakly, “that sounded bad.”</p><p class="p1">“Little bit, yeah,” Debbie tried to keep all judgement from her tone, she was almost positive she knew what Danni had been trying to say.</p><p class="p1">They sat, waiting for Danni to explain, but she stayed quiet. When she finally spoke, it wasn’t the answer they had been looking for, “why do you want to be my parents? Why…why do you want to become my guardians legally? It’d be so easy for Skye or Nine Ball to do it.”</p><p class="p1">“Because,” Debbie looked down at their daughter, “almost everything we do is illegal, it’s cheap or easy, so we need to do this for real with you. We’re not gonna take any shortcuts. You’re worth more than that.”</p><p class="p1">The teen huffed out a laugh, shaking her head in disbelief, “really? More than, what, $300 million in jewelry? Sure.”</p><p class="p1">“Hey, we don’t think about you like that, but if we had to, I guess we’d put you…” Lou pretended to do mental calculations, “somewhere above every single heist that we’ve ever done and will do.”</p><p class="p1">Danni blushed, but smiled up at the both of them, more willing to explain herself. She didn’t speak immediately, but they waited, letting her take it at her own pace, “you know how I survived my parents?”</p><p class="p1">The question was clearly rhetorical, but Debbie answered quickly, “course we do.”</p><p class="p1">Danni frowned, a furrow appearing in her brow, “what?”</p><p class="p1">“I said…of course we do,” Debbie repeated, fully aware that hadn’t been what the teen had been asking.</p><p class="p1">She cocked her head, narrowing her eyes for a moment before shrugging and continuing with her original thought, “I’m stubborn and argumentative and I hate to lose. I used my right hand until it was almost as good as my left and then I only used it at home. I couldn’t fight back, so I wrote with my left hand at school and at friends’ houses. I mean,” she let out a bitter laugh, “I was five, I didn’t get it. I didn’t get why my mother wanted me to use the hand I couldn’t do anything with or why she got mad when it took me a long time to do my work and when it was done, it was practically illegible or why she told my teacher to make sure I didn’t use my left or why she…<em>broke</em> my hand when I disobeyed. I still don’t. It doesn’t make any sense. ‘Cause you don’t do that when you love someone.”</p><p class="p1">She lapsed into silence for a moment, chewing on her lip as she tried not to cry. Finally, when she was sure her voice would stay steady, she continued, “I<em> really</em> thought she loved me…like you do. So it’s—it’s…hard for me to believe you, but I really, really want to because you’re not my parents. See? This is why I don’t want you to be my parents. I don’t want you to lie to me or promise me things you don’t care about. I want you to be telling the truth when you say you love me or that you’re proud of me. I don’t want to owe you something or to be expected to owe you something every time you say that. I don’t want to have to <em>survive</em> you. I-I just—”</p><p class="p1">She trailed off, brushing away the escaped tears that slid down her face.</p><p class="p1">“Oh, my love,” Lou pulled Danni close, pressing a kiss to the top of the girl’s head and letting herself stay there for a moment, breathing in the coconut shampoo Danni loved so much. She felt Danni’s tears soaking into her shirt and held her closer.</p><p class="p1">“What do you want us to be?” Debbie’s voice was uncharacteristically gentle as she rubbed Danni’s back in slow, soothing circles.</p><p class="p1">“I-I don’t want you to be my parents,” she repeated, sniffling, “…but maybe—maybe you could be my moms?”</p><p class="p1">She kept her face pressed into Lou’s shoulder, still not quite brave enough to face the two women.</p><p class="p1">“You want us to be your moms?” Debbie couldn’t keep the smile off her face.</p><p class="p1">Danni nodded, pulling away from Lou slightly so she see them both. Her tears had stopped, but they could still see the tear tracks on her cheeks. She spoke slowly, but there was no hesitation. She knew what she wanted, “maybe one day you could be my parents, but for now, it’s enough?”</p><p class="p1">“It’s enough,” the two women agreed almost simultaneously, matching grins adorning their faces. They would take whatever she gave them and though they might wish for more, it would always be enough.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>let me know what you think!</p><p>also - if you're not a younger sibling, then i can tell you that what veronica did was 100% accurate. We younger siblings live for that kind of moment when we can embarrass our older siblings.</p><p>also also - if you speak french, sorry. i was trying to find a way to say 'see you later' and got à toute à l’heure, but it could be completely wrong. I mean, i even asked my mom (she speaks french) how to say 'see you later' and lemme tell...her answer did not match mine so i gave up</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0024"><h2>24. Chapter 24</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>hearing for guardianship transfer + some other stuff</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Wow, it has been a while. Haha *looks around* is anyone still here? Thank you and I'm sorry for the wait to everyone who's still here. Big thank you to everyone who's left a kudos, and especially big one to everyone who has commented, your feedback means a lot to me and really helped me get off my ass and write this.</p><p>small note before you read - даница is pronounced DAH-nee-tsah (it's just how you would say it in serbian)</p><p>honestly it's been so long, i don't remember how i did this (did i bold?), but italics are serbian</p><p>also mentioned/referenced child abuse</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">The next few weeks blurred together in never-ending action. There were forms to fill out, Danni’s parents had to be notified, they had to hire a lawyer, and prepare for an inspection by social services. Not that she would ever admit it, but Debbie sometimes wished they’d done it the easy way. She’d be theirs faster.</p><p class="p1">They had their first meeting with their lawyer, Samantha Garcia, an old friend of Debbie and Lou’s, and as perhaps Danni could’ve predicted, it did not go entirely to plan. The first part went smoothly but when the lawyer, brought up the teen’s medical records, or lack thereof, it quickly went downhill.</p><p class="p1">“Look, Debbie, Lou, I believe you, but the lack of any real evidence is, well, troubling to say the least,” she told them, handing Debbie Danni’s records.</p><p class="p1">After briefly skimming them, Debbie handed them to Lou and gave Danni, who was staring down at her feet and running a finger over the rough material of the cast, an unimpressed look.</p><p class="p1">Seeing her wife’s hard look at Danni, Lou put a hand on Debbie’s leg, keeping her calm for just a moment longer, “could you give us a sec, Sam? I think we need to talk to Danni about this.”</p><p class="p1">Sam nodded her assent and gave the teen a sympathetic look.</p><p class="p1">“Kitchen,” Lou ordered the girl, going to the room in question with Debbie close behind. Danni waited a moment, watching Lou’s steady, loose steps and Debbie’s short, angry ones.</p><p class="p1">“You better go, kid,” Sam nodded her head in the direction of the kitchen and almost laughed when Danni sighed and slowly wandered to the kitchen, dragging her feet.</p><p class="p1">“Sit,” Lou ordered, crossing her arms and giving Danni a pointed look. Pulling a chair out, Danni perched on the edge of her seat, ready to leap up at a moment’s notice. Some habits never die. Seeing that, Lou sighed and softened her tone, “what did you do?”</p><p class="p1">“Nothing.”</p><p class="p1">“Danni,” Lou warned, she really didn’t want her wife another reason to be upset.</p><p class="p1">“I didn’t do anything,” the teen ground out, jutting her chin out and meeting Lou’s gaze with a defiant glare.</p><p class="p1">“Clearly you did,” Debbie finally spoke, keeping her tone remarkably level, “and clearly it was something bad otherwise you’d tell us.”</p><p class="p1">She held the girl’s gaze until Danni looked away, muttering something too quietly for them to hear.</p><p class="p1">“What was that?”</p><p class="p1">“I asked Skye to get rid of all my medical records,” Danni repeated, only slightly louder.</p><p class="p1">Though they had both been expecting something along those lines, the two women exchanged a glance and Debbie blew out a breath, “how could you do something so stupid?”</p><p class="p1">Danni shrank in on herself at the brunette’s angry, frustrated tone and said quietly, “I’m sorry.”</p><p class="p1">“You’re sorry? Well that fixes everything,” Debbie retorted mockingly, forgetting who she was speaking to for a moment. Her eyes widened in horror when she watched her daughter shut down, face going blank even as her eyes shone with unshed tears. “Danni, I-” she started to apologize only to be interrupted.</p><p class="p1">“Take a walk, Debbie,” Lou told her firmly, her calm manner not belying the rage Debbie could see in her eyes. And though she typically was not one to back down from a fight, Debbie nodded silently and blinked back her own tears as she left her wife and daughter alone.</p><p class="p1">“Hey, love,” Lou said quietly, slowly approaching Danni as one might approach as wild animal, “she didn’t mean it, she was just surprised.”</p><p class="p1">“I’m sorry,” Danni looked up, lower lip wobbling.</p><p class="p1">“It’s alright, my love,” she held her arms out slightly, unable to hold back a grin when Danni launched herself at her. Holding her tightly, Lou gently stroked the girl’s hair. “Can we fix this?”</p><p class="p1">Burying her face into Lou’s shoulder, Danni shook her head, her voice trembling, “I-I don’t think so, I can ask Skye…if you want.”</p><p class="p1">“That sounds like a good idea,” Lou said, keeping her tone reassuring as she moved to rub gentle circles on the girl’s back.</p><p class="p1">Danni nodded and sniffled, “why aren’t you asking me why I did it?”</p><p class="p1">“Do you want to tell me?” Danni shrugged, and Lou pulled away to look her in the eye. “If you don’t want to tell me, I’m not going to ask. I’m not going to turn every conversation into an interrogation. Besides,” she pulled her daughter closer again, “it’s already done, why you did it doesn’t make much difference.”</p><p class="p1">Danni pulled away after another long moment and wiped her eyes with a sleeve. She nodded shakily and gave Lou a small smile.</p><p class="p1">“How ‘bout a movie, hmm? I’ll tell Sam to piss off, and we can watch whatever you want.”</p><p class="p1">“I have homework,” Danni protested, albeit weakly.</p><p class="p1">“It’s Saturday,” Lou countered easily.</p><p class="p1">“Fine,” Danni conceded, her small smile growing when Lou grinned and pressed a kiss to the top of her head before going to tell Sam to leave.</p><p class="p1">Huddled on the couch under a fluffy blanket, Danni fell asleep less than halfway through the movie, her head resting on Lou’s shoulder as she snored lightly. Carefully rearranging Danni with practiced ease so the girl was curled up with her head resting on the pillow, Lou lowered the sound but kept the movie on. It wasn’t half bad for an animated kid’s movie, Danni had made them watch worse.</p><p class="p1">As the movie began to come to a close, she heard a noise from the entryway and turned to see her wife standing there awkwardly, almost as if she were waiting for permission to enter. Lou stood and carefully rearranged the blankets around Danni before cocking her head at the kitchen.</p><p class="p1">“What the hell, Debbie?” Lou hissed when they were out of the sleeping teen’s earshot.</p><p class="p1">“I know,” the other woman said quietly, not moving to defend herself. It was only then that Lou got a good look at her. Debbie’s eyes were rimmed with red and the dark circles under her eyes suddenly stood out. Her mascara had run and then clearly been messily wiped away and her hair was tangled from the wind. In short, her wife looked a right mess.</p><p class="p1">“How could you say that to her? She’s not me, she’s not going to come running back after you fuck up,” Lou whispered harshly, glaring at Debbie.</p><p class="p1">“I know,” Debbie repeated with a sigh, “we were just <em>so </em>close—”</p><p class="p1">“—we've only just started,” Lou cut her off, purposely misconstruing her words. The look she received in return said Debbie knew exactly what she was doing.</p><p class="p1">“You know what I mean,” Debbie said, sneaking a glance at their sleeping daughter.</p><p class="p1">After giving Debbie a scrutinizing look, Lou sighed and waved a hand at Danni, “go on then, not like I can stop you,” but at Debbie’s relieved look, she continued warningly, “but this isn’t for you, she deserves a family, and we can give her one. Fix this.”</p><p class="p1">Debbie nodded, shrugging off her coat. Kneeling next to the couch, she gently touched Danni’s cheek, “Danni?”</p><p class="p1">The girl stirred and grumbled sleepily, “g’way, Lou.”</p><p class="p1">“It’s Debbie.”</p><p class="p1">Danni’s eyes shot open, and she sat up, rubbing at her eyes blearily, “you came back.”</p><p class="p1">“I’m always gonna come back, baby,” Debbie smiled hesitantly at her, sitting when Danni held up a side of the blanket for her.</p><p class="p1">Danni looked up at the woman with her serious, dark eyes, “you were crying.”</p><p class="p1">“Little bit, yeah,” Debbie gave her another small, hopeful smile.</p><p class="p1">Danni yawned, putting her head on Debbie’s shoulder, “m’sorry.”</p><p class="p1">“No, baby, it’s not your fault. I was crying because I love you so, so much, and I never want to upset you like that again. I just hate watching you self-sabotage like that, you deserve so much more.”</p><p class="p1">Danni was silent for a moment, worrying her lip. It was the longest moment of Debbie’s life. Finally, Danni tilted her head up to better see Debbie and asked, her voice quiet but hopeful, “you still love me?”</p><p class="p1">“Of course I do, I’m never gonna stop loving you. And I can’t wait until everyone gets to know that,” Debbie promised, wrapping an arm around her daughter.</p><p class="p1">“You still want me?” Danni asked, still looking up at her with those big, dark eyes.</p><p class="p1">“Baby, I can’t wait until we get to adopt you.”</p><p class="p1">“M’kay,” Danni murmured, and though it was the middle of the afternoon, she drifted back to sleep with a quiet, ‘love you too.’</p><p class="p1">When Lou came to check on them a few minutes later, she was met with Debbie’s grateful gaze from where she sat with their sleeping daughter sprawled across her. Lou sat down on Danni’s other side and offered Debbie a smile, tangling their fingers together in silent forgiveness.</p><hr/><p class="p1">When the day of the hearing finally came a few weeks later, they were ready. Or, at least, Debbie and Lou were. Every meeting with their lawyer made Danni feel fractionally better, but there still existed a shred of doubt lurking in the back of her mind. She'd barely slept, trying to ready herself for facing her parents again, and woke up early, full of nervous energy. She spent the better portion of the hours she was up at her desk, hands stained with graphite. Lou made her waffles, but Danni barely touched them. It felt wrong, too much like goodbye. When it was finally time to go, she went to grab something from her room, carefully folding it and putting it in her jacket pocket before rejoining the adults by the door.</p><p class="p1">“Danni?”</p><p class="p1">The girl in question looked up from where she was awkwardly hopping on one foot trying to get her shoe on, “yes?”</p><p class="p1">Lou rolled her eyes and grabbed Danni’s shoulder to stabilize her, “Debbie and I want to talk to you about something.”</p><p class="p1">“Okay?” The teen’s brow furrowed, afraid of what they could possibly say so close to the hearing.</p><p class="p1">With a glance at her wife, Debbie stepped forward and adjusted the collar of Danni’s blouse, smoothing it down with careful hands, “We know you said you didn’t want to give up being Mercury, and that’s fine, you’re an Ocean.” Danni smiled at that. “But we’ve also set up a bank account with ten million dollars in it for you. You can use it now, later, or never. But it’s yours, okay?”</p><p class="p1">Danni nodded, still confused. She looked between the two women’s serious faces, realization dawning on her face, her eyes narrowing, “you don’t think we’re going to win.”</p><p class="p1">Lou gave her a look, “Danni—”</p><p class="p1">“—You don’t think we’re going to win?” The teen interrupted, though this time it was a question.</p><p class="p1">“Of course we’re going to win,” Debbie met the girl’s gaze levelly, “we just want you to know that you have this should you ever need it.”</p><p class="p1">Still looking not entirely convinced, Danni nodded.</p><p class="p1">“Good,” Lou said briskly, “let’s go then, we don’t want to be late.”</p><p class="p1">They piled into the car, cranking up the music and the heat, and set off to the courthouse. Danni stared pensively out the window, chewing her lip and ignoring any and all attempts Debbie and Lou made at conversation. When they finally arrived, Danni almost didn’t get out of the car, wishing that if she could just stay there, she wouldn’t have to face whatever the future had in store for her. She did, however, eventually have to leave the car and reluctantly followed Debbie and Lou inside.</p><p class="p1">Once inside, Danni stopped in her tracks. Firm believers in being early, her parents were already standing outside their courtroom. Following Danni’s gaze, Debbie and Lou got their first real look at Danni’s parents.</p><p class="p1">Her father wasn’t very tall, an inch or two shorter than Lou, with a lean build and sandy blonde hair lightly streaked with grey so different from his daughter’s. When they turned to her mother, however, it was clear that when Danni had said everyone always said how similar they looked, she hadn’t been exaggerating. She was an almost exact carbon copy of her mother, the only real differences the hair and age. They had the same dark eyes, the same slightly upturned nose, the same everything though Danni's face was still softened with age, unmarred by the harsh planes and subtle wrinkles on her mother's face. </p><p class="p1">And yet, even with their striking similarities, somehow, they looked nothing alike. Danni’s mother stood absolutely still, her back ramrod straight as she stood next to her husband. She didn’t fidget, she didn’t shift on her feet. She just stood and waited. But Danni, in all the time they'd known her, Danni never seemed to stop moving. She paced and tapped her fingers and rubbed that scar on her finger and worried her lip and bounced her leg.</p><p class="p1">Now though, now she stilled, shutting down as she stared at her parents with wide eyes. Lou wrapped a protective arm around her, pulling her close.</p><p class="p1">“Даница!” Her mother finally caught sight of her, making her way over to them with deadly precision and a smile that looked entirely out of place on her face.</p><p class="p1">Danni didn’t answer, still staring at her, stock-still in Lou’s embrace.</p><p class="p1">“Oh my darling!” Her mother cried in her lightly accented voice, that false smile still fixed firmly in place. When Lou pulled Danni away the moment she reached for the girl, the smile slipped for a moment, revealing the ugliness they knew lay beneath the surface.</p><p class="p1"><em>“Danica, come here,</em>” the woman smiled when her daughter took an automatic step towards her, the smile still staying in place when Danni faltered.</p><p class="p1">With a quick apologetic glance at Debbie and Lou, Danni took another step forward and let herself be pulled into her mother’s arms.</p><p class="p1">“<em>Oh, my star, I’ve missed you so much,”</em> her mother sighed and pulled back, holding Danni an arm’s length away, “<em>and look how much you’ve grown.”</em></p><p class="p1">“<em>Hello, Mother.”</em> All the hours spent the night before running through potential conversations, potential things she could say that would show them she was fine, better than ever in fact, flew out of her head to be replaced with instinct. She stared down at the ground.</p><p class="p1">“<em>Look at me when you are speaking to me. Have you forgotten everything I taught you?”</em> Her mother hissed.</p><p class="p1">Reluctantly, Danni pulled her gaze up to her mother’s, “<em>I’m sorry.”</em></p><p class="p1">The woman nodded curtly, “<em>better. And how is school? I trust you are maintaining your grades even with these…people.</em>”</p><p class="p1">“<em>Yes, Mother, I have. Debbie and Lou have actually been helping me a lot,”</em> it was a close to a rebellion as Danni could get, though she still shifted away almost imperceptibly when her mother’s eyes hardened.</p><p class="p1">“<em>I’m sure,</em>” her mother said coldly, regarding her carefully for a moment before passing Danni off to her father and offering a hand to Debbie, smoothly introducing herself, “Irina Bošković,” she gestured to her husband, “my husband, Alexander. I take it you are Debbie Ocean and Lou Miller?”</p><p class="p1">With an eye on Danni and her father who were exchanging awkward greetings, Debbie took Irina’s hand, “Ocean-Miller actually.”</p><p class="p1">“Of course, I’m sorry. I <em>forgot</em>.” She said, the slight curled lip the only indication of insincerity.</p><p class="p1">“Mmm hmm,” Debbie exchanged a knowing look with her wife, “now, if you’ll <em>excuse</em> us, we’re going to go find the rest of our family.” She took a step closer to the other woman, taking full advantage of her slightly taller height to bend down and lower her voice, “oh, and if you try to take our daughter away from us, you will never see her again. We’ll see you in court.”</p><p class="p1">“Are you threatening me?” Irina cocked her head slightly and narrowed her eyes, searching Debbie’s eyes. The woman in question almost couldn’t hold back a laugh at how similar it was to a face Danni often pulled.</p><p class="p1">Taking a step back, she shook her head, giving Irina her most innocent look, “just looking out for my daughter, doing what a mom should do.”</p><p class="p1">“She is <em>not</em> your daughter,” Irina’s eyes flashed dangerously, but neither of the women before her were impressed.</p><p class="p1">“She is more our daughter than she ever was yours,” Lou finally spoke up, “Danni?”</p><p class="p1">She held a hand out to the girl, smirking smugly at Irina when Danni made her way back over with a relieved look on her face. Irina’s hand shot out and she grabbed Danni by the arm, roughly pulling the teen to her, uncaring of the cast on her arm or her daughter’s wince. She spoke quietly in the girl’s ear before raising an eyebrow in question, smiling when Danni paled and nodded.</p><p class="p1">“We’ll see you soon, Даница.” She released her to Debbie and Lou, walking away with her husband following close behind.</p><p class="p1">“What did she say to you?” Debbie turned to the teen.</p><p class="p1">“Nothing,” Danni refused to meet her gaze, crossing her arms over her chest.</p><p class="p1">“Danni, I’m not kidding around. What did she say to you?”</p><p class="p1">“<em>Nothing,</em>” Danni ground out, staring resolutely at the ground.</p><p class="p1">Before Debbie could storm off in the direction Irina had gone, Lou grabbed her arm and gave her a meaningful look, “let’s try to stay out of prison today, alright?”</p><p class="p1">“Fine,” Debbie huffed, adjusting her blazer. She turned to Danni, “let’s go find somewhere to sit.”</p><p class="p1">Danni nodded, only looking up when Lou gently touched her arm and offered her a small smile. Giving a weak one in response, Danni followed them to a set of benches outside the room where the rest of their family sat. All six other women and Skye had shown up, rallying in support behind the three. They knew what it had taken to get to this point.</p><p class="p1">Taking a seat next to Constance, Danni engaged in half-hearted conversation with the other girl, but it was clear the encounter with her parents had shaken her. She was too still, her face too blank. Debbie and Lou left her alone as they waited, letting her think through whatever she needed to. But when it was finally time for the hearing, and they were filing into the courtroom, they stopped her at the door.</p><p class="p1">“What did she say to you, Danni?” This time it was Lou asking, her tone brooking no argument. They were going to get their answer.</p><p class="p1">Danni shrugged and opened her mouth before apparently thinking better of it. After a long moment, she tried again, opting for vague rather than full on avoidance, “it was just something about when I talk to the judge.”</p><p class="p1">It took a moment for it to click, but when it did, both women felt their blood boil. Absolutely livid, Debbie turned to their daughter, hoping she knew the anger wasn’t at her, “when the judge asks you — they want you to pick them?”</p><p class="p1">A silent nod.</p><p class="p1">Debbie scoffed, “those—who do they think they are?”</p><p class="p1">“My parents?” Danni’s answer was hardly louder than a whisper as if she didn’t believe the words herself, but even so, it felt like defeat.</p><p class="p1">With a calming hand on her wife’s arm, effectively stopping any further ranting, Lou looked down at their daughter, “that’s not all, is it? She threatened you?” Danni looked away, trying to avoid the question, but the action was enough. Lou exhaled, keeping a truly impressive amount of control over her temper. “Okay, it doesn’t matter. We’ll protect you, you know that. You don’t have to pick them.”</p><p class="p1">“We don’t have any proof,” Danni finally looked up again, meeting Lou’s gaze with defeated eyes.</p><p class="p1">“Your testimony will be enough. You’re 15, almost 16, you’re old enough to choose,” Lou reminded her calmly.</p><p class="p1">“Not if the judge thinks they’re fit to be parents. Then I’ll just be some spoiled, rich brat who had an argument with her parents,” Danni responded bitterly.</p><p class="p1">“Hey,” Debbie stopped her there, “do you remember what I told you that first night after you showed up on our doorstep?”</p><p class="p1">Danni furrowed her brow in confusion, not quite understanding the sudden change in topic.</p><p class="p1">“I said that I wouldn’t hesitate to protect my family from anything that tried to tear us apart. So, do you really think I’m going to let them win?” Debbie raised a challenging eyebrow, daring Danni to argue with her.</p><p class="p1">Unfortunately for her, their daughter was easily just as stubborn as they were. “You won’t have to <em>let</em> them.”</p><p class="p1">“Danni,” Debbie let out an exasperated sigh even as she gazed at her daughter fondly, “they won’t win. We’re Oceans, and we don’t play to lose.”</p><p class="p1">Danni nodded hesitantly and glanced at the courtroom before seemingly making up her mind and grabbing something from her pocket, "this is for both of you. Just...please don't look at it unless..."</p><p class="p1">She trailed off, and Lou put an arm around her reassuringly, "we don't play to lose."</p><hr/><p class="p1">“All rise.” The bailiff announced as the judge entered. “This court is now in session.”</p><p class="p1">The judge sat and surveyed the two sides from behind his thin glasses that lay on his narrow face. And the hearing began.</p><p class="p1">Danni barely kept up, keeping her eyes on the ground a little ways in front of her. When her parents were asked to speak, she barely heard a word, but when Debbie’s name was called, the teen’s gaze snapped up, meeting Debbie’s for a moment as the woman stood and made her way in front of the judge.</p><p class="p1">“Mrs. Ocean-Miller, I understand you recently gained parole after being incarcerated for almost six years,” the judge looked over his glasses at her, eyes momentarily flicking down to the papers before him.</p><p class="p1">When Debbie began to speak, Danni was momentarily entranced by how different the woman she knew seemed. She spoke plainly, without layered meanings or the intense stare Danni had grown used to over the months. She was completely sincere though perhaps not entirely truthful, Danni knew, and yet, it all seemed a little too much of an act.</p><p class="p1">“Yes, Your Honor. That was a little over eight months ago. And I’m still just trying to lead a nice, quiet life, you know, spend some time with my wife and daughter,” she shot a fond look at them with her last words.</p><p class="p1">“And you believe you are better fit to parent Ms. Meiers than her own parents?” He looked at her scrutinizingly, but she remained unfazed.</p><p class="p1">“Yes, Your Honor, I do. As Ms. Garcia,” she gestured to their lawyer, “has already stated, Danni wasn’t safe when she was home with Mr. Meiers and Ms. Bošković. She’s safe with us.”</p><p class="p1">“And yet you’ve brought forward no proof to support this claim.”</p><p class="p1">Danni grabbed Lou’s arm under the table, sinking into her when the blonde put an arm around her shoulders.</p><p class="p1">“Yes, unfortunately, the only evidence we can offer you is Danni’s testimony as well as her therapist’s, which I believe you’ve already received.”</p><p class="p1">“Yes, I have. Thank you, Mrs. Ocean-Miller, you may return to your seat now.”</p><p class="p1">“Mrs. Louise Ocean-Miller.”</p><p class="p1">Debbie took a seat on Danni’s other side just as Lou stood, replacing the blonde’s arm around their daughter’s shoulders.</p><p class="p1">“Mrs. Ocean-Miller, you are the owner of a nightclub, correct?”</p><p class="p1">“Yes, Your Honor,” Lou answered easily.</p><p class="p1">“Do you feel you will be able to support Ms. Meiers financially should you assume her guardianship?”</p><p class="p1">“Yes, Your Honor,” Lou said again, barely holding back her comment that they had been taking care of her just fine for the past few months.</p><p class="p1">If he was frustrated at the general lack of response he got from the blonde, the judge didn’t show it, continuing with his questions, “and do you feel that as an owner of a nightclub, you will still be able to provide a suitable environment for Ms. Meiers?”</p><p class="p1">“With all due respect, Your Honor, my profession has no effect on the type of <em>environment</em>,” she quoted his words, keeping her tone level, “I can provide for her. She has no connection to the club. She has been there <em>once</em> for a tour during the day and won’t be going back for anything more for at least another six years.” </p><p class="p1">“That’s good to hear. Thank you, you may return to your seat.”</p><p class="p1">Danni’s hands shook and her heartbeat began to quicken. She knew whose name was going to be called next.</p><p class="p1">“Ms. Danica Meiers.”</p><p class="p1">She got to her feet, her vision narrowing until it was all she could to do put one foot in front of the other. A hand on her arm brought her back to herself, and she glanced down at Lou. By the time she reached the podium, she had barely processed what Lou had said. <em>Trust us.</em></p><p class="p1">Facing the judge, Danni saw the shift in him from when he had been speaking to the adults.</p><p class="p1">“Good morning, young lady.” He spoke down to her as if she were a small child.</p><p class="p1">And though it pained her to do it, Danni gritted her teeth and gave him a small smile, “Good morning, Your Honor.”</p><p class="p1">“I’m sure you’ve already figured out what I’m going to need to ask you, haven’t you, Ms. Meiers?”</p><p class="p1">“Yes, sir.”</p><p class="p1">The judge nodded before setting down his papers and directing his full attention onto her, “now, I have a written testimony from your therapist, Dr. Linda Martin, as well as a full report from an investigator from social services. The only thing left is you,” he took off his glasses and stared seriously down at her, “were you abused in any way by your parents while under their care?”</p><p class="p1">The room went deathly silent, all eyes on Danni as they waited for her answer. The teen in question bit her lip and looked back and forth between Debbie and Lou and her parents for a long moment. When she finally answered, it was hardly more than a whisper, and even with the microphone, everyone strained to hear it.</p><p class="p1">“Yes, Your Honor.”</p><p class="p1">When it was clear she wasn’t going to continue, the judge cleared his throat somewhat awkwardly, “I’m afraid I’m going to need more detail than that.”</p><p class="p1">Danni looked to Debbie and Lou, silently pleading for help. All they could do was nod encouragingly and watch as she told a relative stranger things she had told, at most, four others.</p><p class="p1">“W-When I was five,” her voice wavered, “my mother slammed a door on my hand, so I would learn to write with my right hand,” she glanced again at Debbie and Lou. <em>Trust us,</em> “both my parents…have hit me or…hurt me,” another look. “Then when I—I almost di—” she stopped herself abruptly, “it-it’s in Dr. Linda’s testimony I think.”</p><p class="p1">The judge didn’t make her continue with it, giving her an unwanted look of pity, “and do you have an explanation for the lack of medical records? The only record you seem to have is from your stay with Mrs. Ocean-Millers.”</p><p class="p1">“My mother is a doctor,” she said simply. She wasn’t lying, merely allowing him to come to his own conclusions. “And this,” she held up her casted arm, “was my fault.”</p><p class="p1">“Mrs. Ocean-Miller made the case that you would be safer with them than with your own parents, and yet, you have this injury. A broken hand, was it?” Danni nodded. “Is it not common for victims of abuse to take the blame for an injury?”</p><p class="p1">“I’m not sure, sir, but I can tell you that,” she hesitated, weighing her words, “I have taken the blame before,” she dared a glance at her parents sitting stony-faced, watching her. “I’ve said that I was just being <em>clumsy</em> and tripped, or I was playing soccer, or I fell down the stairs, but…it wasn’t my <em>fault</em>,” her voice cracked, and she looked away. Everyone had been telling her that for months, but even telling the judge felt wrong somehow. She had to have done something to warrant whatever her parents did to her, it just didn’t make sense otherwise. Why couldn't they have just loved her like Debbie and Lou did?</p><p class="p1">After giving her a moment to compose herself again, the judge pressed on, “but this was?”</p><p class="p1">“Yes, Your Honor. I broke the knuckles in my left hand after I…resorted to,” she hesitated again, “self harm because I was scared and confused. I didn’t…get how they could love me like they do and be like parents ‘cause they’re nothing like my parents.”</p><p class="p1">“I see,” the judge nodded thoughtfully before offering her a smile, “just one more question. Who do you want to go home with today?”</p><p class="p1">Danni closed her eyes briefly, she had known this question was coming, they all had. Opening them, she looked to her right, meeting her mother’s expectant gaze for a moment, before looking to her left. <em>Trust us</em>.</p><p class="p1">She cleared her throat and shifted closer to the microphone. When she finally spoke,she looked the judge straight in the eye, her voice unwavering. She had made her choice, “my moms…please.”</p><p class="p1">The judge nodded, making a note, and gestured to her seat, “Thank you, Ms. Meiers, you may return to your seat.”</p><p class="p1">Danni sat back down almost numbly, hardly feeling the gentle squeeze and kiss pressed to the side of her head by Debbie. She had refused to do as her mother asked, she had trusted Debbie and Lou.</p><p class="p1">In her numbed haze, Danni barely the announcement of a short break while the judge came to a decision. She allowed herself to be led out of the courtroom, allowed herself to be enveloped in hugs and reassured that they would win. When the numbness slid away, her hands began to shake, her breath quickening. She could see her parents on the other side of the hallway watching her.</p><p class="p1">“Hey,” Lou stepped in front of her, blocking her view of her parents and making her meet the woman’s gaze, “you did good.”</p><p class="p1">“B-but I-I, oh god,” Danni collapsed onto the closest bench, head in her hands.</p><p class="p1">“Danni, hey, talk to me,” Lou squatted down in front of her.</p><p class="p1">“I don’t know what I was think—I-I shouldn’t have chosen!” Danni whispered harshly, sitting up and sending a nervous glance at her parents.</p><p class="p1">Noticing her daughter’s distress, Debbie wandered over, giving her wife a questioning look, “what’s going on?”</p><p class="p1">“Danni’s just having a bit of a freak out,” Lou replied easily, knowing exactly what reaction her words would garner.</p><p class="p1">“I am <em>not</em> having a freakout,” Danni protested indignantly, narrowing her eyes at Lou and pouting until the woman rolled her eyes, acquiescing.</p><p class="p1">“Hey,” Debbie sat down next to Danni and wrapped an arm around her, pulling the teen close, “you’re safe. Your parents will <em>never</em> get you back, you hear me? You’re not getting rid of us that easily.”</p><p class="p1">She bumped her shoulder against Danni’s, smiling when the teen huffed out a strained laugh. Danni leaned further into the embrace, opening her mouth to say something when she was cut off by Tammy’s approach.</p><p class="p1">The judge had made his ruling.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>let me know what you thought of the chapter! I love hearing everyone's feedback </p><p>just a heads up - don't worry, this won't go on forever, I have two or three more chapters and then I'm done :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0025"><h2>25. Chapter 25</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>trial results</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>wow....I am so sorry for the late update. But I'm now on break so this time I'm not lying when I say it won't be a month before I update again. Besides time is relative...k enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">They filed back into the courtroom and took their seats, a tense silence filling the air as they waited for the judge to speak.</p><p class="p1">“Ms. Danica Meiers, please stand and make your way to the podium.”</p><p class="p1">Her brow furrowed, Danni stood hesitantly and obeyed. When the judge spoke, he spoke to her and only her. The rest of the room faded away until it was just her and the judge, facing each other in one of the most important moments of her life.</p><p class="p1">“Ms. Meiers, I have reviewed both your therapist’s testimony as well as the report from your visit by social services. Is there anything further you wish to add to your own?”</p><p class="p1">“No, sir,” she hoped her voice didn’t shake as much as she feared it would.</p><p class="p1">“Well then, it is my honor to announce that I have approved a full guardianship transfer of Ms. Danica Meiers to the two Mrs. Ocean-Millers. It is up to them to use their own discretion in granting visitations to Mr. Meiers and Ms. Bošković. I wish you and your family happiness and the best of luck, Ms. Meiers.”</p><p class="p1">“Thank you, sir,” Danni couldn’t keep the smile off her face, forgetting about her parents for a moment and turning to Debbie and Lou with an excited grin. They left the courtroom as soon as they were able. But once in the hall, Danni’s grin dimmed at the sight of who approached them.</p><p class="p1">“Let us speak to our daughter,” Irina demanded, looking ready to push past the protective barrier Debbie and Lou had formed in front of Danni.</p><p class="p1">“No.” Lou crossed her arms, standing steadfast.</p><p class="p1">“Excuse me?”</p><p class="p1">“Irina,” her husband interrupted, trying to placate her.</p><p class="p1">“I’m sorry,” Debbie smirked, not sorry in the slightest. “Did you not hear the judge? It is up to us to use our <em>discretion</em> in granting visitations. And we say no.”</p><p class="p1">“Debbie,” a small voice from behind the brunette called to her. Debbie turned, giving Danni a questioning look. “It’s okay.” The teen nodded, jaw set. “We-We won…I want to hear what they want to say.”</p><p class="p1">“Danni,” Lou turned as well, but at their daughter’s pleading look, sighed. “Fine.” Turning back to Danni’s parents, she took a threatening step closer. “Three minutes.”</p><p class="p1">Checking her watch pointedly, Lou took Debbie’s arm and guided her to a bench. They were far enough that Danni and her parents’ lowered voices were indistinct, but not too far to see their lips moving.</p><p class="p1">Debbie nudged her wife, eyes fixed on the scene before them. “How’s your lip reading?”</p><p class="p1">“Not great. Yours?”</p><p class="p1">“Eh,” Debbie shrugged, “so-so.”</p><p class="p1">So focused were they on the movements of the trio’s lips that they almost didn’t notice when someone joined them on the bench.</p><p class="p1">“You should trust her, you know.” Skye watched the trio knowingly.</p><p class="p1">“With them? Absolutely not,” Debbie dismissed her without turning.</p><p class="p1">“She’s stronger than you think; she’ll tell them no.”</p><p class="p1">“We <em>know</em> that, but we’re not going to abandon her with people she’s scared of,” Debbie bit out.</p><p class="p1">Skye sighed and nodded. “‘Kay, but it kinda seems like you forget that I’ve known her a hell of a lot longer than you have. I’ve seen her face them and say no, she’s just a bit out of practice. Really, you should ask her about that scar on her hand. Besides, look at all the people around. She hates crowds, but she knows the more people, the safer.”</p><p class="p1">“We have asked.” Lou turned to her, finally interested in what she was saying.</p><p class="p1">“And?” Skye prompted.</p><p class="p1">“Punched a mirror.”</p><p class="p1">Skye sighed and shook her head with a wry grin. “You should ask her about what happened before. Anyway, you need to stop treating her like she’s made of glass. She’s not gonna break.”</p><p class="p1">With a long-suffering sigh, Debbie turned away from the scene before them and gave Skye a look. “Fine. Happy?”</p><p class="p1">Without responding, the hacker shrugged and walked away, leaving the two women to begrudgingly admit that she might possibly have a point.</p>
<hr/><p class="p1">“What happened in there, Даница?” Irina asked her daughter with a perfectly cocked eyebrow, her eyes cold.</p><p class="p1">“What do you mean?” Danni asked, keeping her voice as light as possible.</p><p class="p1">“Don’t play stupid with me,” her mother growled, “the medical records were a surprise, and the judge; I thought we had an understanding.”</p><p class="p1">“We did,” Danni answered cautiously.</p><p class="p1">“And? What could they have possibly offered you?” Irina asked smoothly, her composure returning with a dangerous glint in her eye.</p><p class="p1">“They…” Danni sighed, gaze dropping to the floor for a moment. “They offered to—to…<em>love</em> me and to—”</p><p class="p1">“—is that all you want, love?” Her mother cut her off. She smiled condescendingly down at her daughter and clicked her tongue, cupping Danni’s face in her hands. “Of course we love you, my star. Everything we do is for you…so you can be the best possible version of yourself, you know that.”</p><p class="p1">“Unconditionally, Мама. They offered to love me…<em>unconditionally</em>,” Danni whispered, pulling her mother’s hands away from her face.</p><p class="p1">“Please,” her mother scoffed, “there is no such thing as <em>unconditional</em> love. Everybody wants something from someone. There’s always something to make someone love more or less. Unconditional love is a fairytale, my star. And you know better than to believe fairytales, don’t you?”</p><p class="p1">“Yes…I do,” Danni replied softly. “But…they make it seem possible.”</p><p class="p1">“What do they know about <em>love</em>, being the way they are?” Her mother spat out, abandoning all pretense.</p><p class="p1">“More than you,” Danni muttered.</p><p class="p1">“What was that? You know how I hate it when you mutter,” Irina snapped.</p><p class="p1">“Nothing. But…is it so bad, what they are? What if I were, hypothetically,…like them. Would you hate me?” Danni asked, hating that there still existed a sliver of something deep within her that begged for her mother’s approval.</p><p class="p1">“Are you?”</p><p class="p1">“What if I were…hypothetically?” Danni bit her lip, watching her mother’s reaction with wide eyes. A myriad of expressions ran across the older woman’s face before she finally settled on a poor facsimile of care and reassurance.</p><p class="p1">“Of course not,” she cooed, reaching for her daughter again and cupping Danni's face with one hand, lightly brushing her thumb across Danni’s cheek. “Of course we wouldn’t hate you,” she said again. “You’re our little girl, we would only want to help you.”</p><p class="p1">Exhaling sharply, Danni stepped back, out of her mother’s reach, and swallowed harshly, staring at the floor. When she looked up again, her eyes glistened with unshed tears. “There’s nothing to <em>help</em>, Мама. <em>Please</em>. I’m happy. They’re good people, they’re good moms; they <em>love</em> me.”</p><p class="p1">“They threatened me!”</p><p class="p1">Danni almost wanted to laugh at the irony of it all, but instead sighed, running her fingers absentmindedly over the rough plaster covering her arm. “I think I should go.”</p><p class="p1">“Fine,” her mother’s nostrils flared and she exhaled sharply, composing herself. Smiling at her daughter with a smile that was entirely too much teeth, she held her arms out, eyes hardening when Danni shifted away. “What? You can’t even deign to hug your mother before you go running off with <em>them</em>.”</p><p class="p1">Glancing at her father and then at Debbie and Lou on the bench, Danni gave a short nod and allowed herself to be pulled into her mother’s tight embrace. For a moment, she entertained the idea that her mother was going to strangle her in the middle of the courthouse, but quickly dismissed it. Too many witnesses.</p><p class="p1">“You will regret this, Даница. When they grow tired of you and you come running home, remember what I told you. <em>We</em> are your parents.” Irina whispered in her daughter’s ear.</p><p class="p1">After a moment, Danni returned the embrace before pulling away, a bittersweet smile on her face. “I know, but…I don’t think I will.”</p><p class="p1">Irina clenched her hand into a fist by her side, nails digging into her palm, before spinning on her heel and walking away, her heels clicking menacingly on the marble floor.</p><p class="p1">After remaining silent the entire conversation, Alexander turned to his daughter. “You know your mother doesn’t apologize.” Danni nodded silently. “But…and this may not count for much…I am sorry that it had to come to this.”</p><p class="p1">“Me too.”</p><p class="p1">He moved to give her a hug, frowning when Danni moved away, her hand unconsciously moving to her midriff. “We messed up with you, huh?” He asked, though it wasn’t a question. After a moment’s hesitation, he extended his hand. She took it, giving it a firm shake, just as she’d been taught.</p><p class="p1">“Bye, cabbage,” he said, the old nickname rolling awkwardly off his tongue.</p><p class="p1">“Bye, Dad.” She let go of his hand and stepped away, watching him as he followed his wife’s path to the parking lot.</p><p class="p1">“Done?” Debbie and Lou came up behind their daughter, following her gaze.</p><p class="p1">“Yeah.” Danni gave them a tight smile. “Can we go home now?”</p><p class="p1">“C’mon.” Debbie put her arm around Danni’s shoulder, turning her around so they could make their way back to their family who waited for them with triumphant grins on their faces. When they arrived back at the loft, four cars trailing behind them, they celebrated their victory.</p><p class="p1">Everybody hugged everybody. There were tears, laughter, and everything in between. And as the impromptu party began to wind down, Debbie and Lou pretended not to notice when Skye pulled Danni to the side, the two speaking in quiet voices.</p><p class="p1">“I’m happy for you, you know,” Skye told her, pulling her into a hug.</p><p class="p1">“Thank you.” Danni smiled, easily returning the embrace.</p><p class="p1">“Just…” Skye pulled away, “don’t mess it up this time, ‘kay?”</p><p class="p1">Danni nodded and ducked her head, a flush rising in her cheeks. “I’ll try.”</p><p class="p1">“You gotta do more than try.” Skye gave her a gentle shove. “And, uh…don’t forget about me, alright? I don’t have all that many people.”</p><p class="p1">“I wouldn’t,” Danni promised, her grin turning teasing. “Besides, you have my cat.”</p><p class="p1">“How many times?!” Skye followed Danni as she turned to join the rest of the party. “He literally lives with me, he’s mine!”</p>
<hr/><p class="p1">A month passed and suddenly Danni’s birthday was upon them. It being her first real birthday with them, Debbie and Lou wanted to celebrate as they had all the other milestones in the time they had known her. Danni agreed somewhat reluctantly, but refused to make a big deal about it, asking for no gifts (a rule that Debbie and Lou couldn’t help but break).</p><p class="p1">They invited the crew as well as Remy and Skye to spend the night at the loft playing games and watching movies. Of course, Lou baked Danni a cake, sticking a few candles in it while fending off Debbie’s haphazard attempts at decoration.</p><p class="p1">They watched movies late into the night, consuming so much popcorn that Danni was forced to voice her concerns that they might break the microwave. When they woke up late the next morning, they lounged around in their pajamas, the ‘kids’ (Danni, Remy, Skye, Constance) watched cartoons and ate leftover cake, a few of the ‘adults’ even deigning to join them for a bit before making their excuses and leaving.</p><p class="p1">The party more or less having died down by late morning, Lou sauntered over to the entryway table to sort through the mail. As she sorted through it, discarding most, one envelope in particular caught her eye. Well, less so the envelope and more so the return address. Dropping the rest of the mail onto the table to look through later, Lou tore the envelope open and quickly pulled out the paper inside.</p><p class="p1">Debbie noticed her wife’s interest and gave her a questioning look. After quickly scanning the document, Lou grinned and nodded, before folding the paper into thirds and tucking it into her pocket. Debbie smiled back at her and let her gaze drift back toward their daughter, the teen laughing as she accidentally shoved Remy off the couch.</p><p class="p1">Lou made her way back over to Debbie, leaning casually against the wall beside her. “I’ll pick it up tonight.”</p><p class="p1">“Good.” Debbie nodded approvingly. “Don’t be too late, she’ll be out by nine.”</p><p class="p1">Lou gave her a two fingered salute, and Debbie shoved her away, rolling her eyes. Everything was coming together. Soon no one would be able to take them apart.</p>
<hr/><p class="p1">Just as Debbie had predicted, Danni was swaying on her feet by 8:30 that night, though the teen refused to go to bed early on the principle of the thing. Lou had left the loft a little over 15 minutes before, so Debbie reckoned it would be at least another 10 to 15 minutes until her wife returned. Lou had not, however, sent the requested update and proof that all was going well.</p><p class="p1">As the time neared 9:00, Danni was lying on the couch with an arm thrown over her eyes and her breathing deepening. But every few minutes, as if she could feel Debbie’s knowing gaze, she would shift her arm away and expose her eyes to the light, calling out some form of ‘I’m still awake.’</p><p class="p1">The time ticked later and later until Danni was lightly snoring on the couch, a blanket thrown haphazardly over the lower half of her body, and Debbie was beginning to get worried. Lou wasn’t returning her calls.</p><p class="p1">Finally, after what felt like an eternity of pacing the short length of the kitchen, Debbie’s phone range. She lunged for it and accepted the call, barely processing where it had come from.</p><p class="p1">The world fell silent until the only thing she could hear was her heart beating steadily in her chest. She fell into autopilot, finishing the call with a few jerky responses before hanging up. For a few minutes, she simply stood there, cradling the phone to her chest and sucking in deep breaths in a bid to return to herself.</p><p class="p1">When her mind slammed back into her body, she faltered, reaching out a hand to steady herself. Then, on trembling legs, she made her way to the sitting area and gently stroked her daughter’s hair back, deliberating over what to do.</p><p class="p1">After a long moment, she decided. “Danni? Wake up.”</p><p class="p1">The teen grumbled and shifted, but didn’t open her eyes, so Debbie shook her shoulder more insistently. At that, Danni opened her eyes groggily, yawning and stretching in an almost feline manner, though it lacked the grace with which a cat might have done it. “Debbie?” Danni asked, her voice bleary as she rubbed her eyes. “What’s wrong?”</p><p class="p1">Her hands still clenched white-knuckled around her phone, Debbie exhaled sharply and said the dreaded words. The words she’d joked and threatened and worried about ever since she had been shown that god-forsaken bike.</p><p class="p1">“There’s been an accident.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Let me know what you thought!</p><p>quick update for anyone who's interested: two more chapters (1 real, 1 epilogue) and I'm currently working on a rewrite, so I might post a little teaser for the first chapter at the end of this. Then when I'm done, I'll prob take this down and replace it with the new one just cuz I'm not the proudest of this so I'm def working on characterizations, plot, flow, etc :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0026"><h2>26. Chapter 26</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">Danni sat up abruptly, just barely avoiding colliding with Debbie’s nose, no longer half awake. “An accident?” She grabbed Debbie’s arm, the warmth under her fingers doing nothing to counteract the trembling that left her entire body feeling weak.</p><p class="p1">Debbie nodded. “We need to go.” She left Danni on the couch, grabbing her keys and her coat, and headed to the door. “Let’s go.” She turned back to give Danni an expectant look, said look melting into worry at the state of the teen.</p><p class="p1">Danni had her legs pulled up against her chest, her hands over her face, as she curled in on herself, whimpering. “No, no, no, oh God please no, not again. This can’t be happening, no <em>please</em>.”</p><p class="p1">In a few short strides, Debbie was back in front of Danni, gently pulling Danni’s hands away from her face. “Hey, Danni, you’re okay,” she told her daughter firmly, but the teen didn’t seem to hear her. “C’mon, talk to me,” Debbie prompted, pushing back the urge to check the time.</p><p class="p1">“Why does this happen to me?” Came her pained reply.</p><p class="p1">“What do you mean?” Debbie asked quickly, still too worried about Lou to connect the dots.</p><p class="p1">“<em>Elle</em>.”</p><p class="p1">“Oh.” Debbie crouched down in front Danni, searching for something to say. “…She’s going to be okay. Lou. She’s going to be okay.”</p><p class="p1">“Don’t lie to me. You don’t know that,” Danni whispered.</p><p class="p1">“Maybe not, but you don’t know she’s going to die. Don’t condemn her to the fate you’re scared of. This isn’t Elle; Lou’s at the hospital, she’s getting the best care money can buy. And we have a lot of money.” Debbie smirked, hoping the conviction in her words would be enough for Danni because she really didn’t have anything else to give her.</p><p class="p1">If she didn’t believe Debbie, Danni didn’t show it. She rubbed her eyes and gave Debbie a small nod, her jaw set. With a quick smile, Debbie grabbed Danni’s coat and shoes and the two set off to the hospital.</p><p class="p1">Upon arriving, they rushed to the front desk and were directed to Lou’s room, Debbie having requested a private room before they arrived. When they finally reached Lou’s room, Danni shoved the door open and stopped short just inside, Debbie barely avoiding crashing into her.</p><p class="p1">Danni let out a choked sob and clapped a hand over her mouth, her eyes roving over Lou’s pale form. She was too still. After a long moment, Danni lurched forward again and grabbed one of Lou’s hands, her slim fingers bare without their many rings.</p><p class="p1">Debbie came up beside her, pulling Danni into a one armed embrace and gently touching Lou’s shoulder with the other hand. Her gaze was pulled to the heavy, white cast adorning one leg and bit her lip, blinking rapidly, to rid herself of her own tears.</p><p class="p1">As Debbie went to get a chair, Danni whispered and pleaded for Lou to wake up, unable to keep her tears back. “Please, wake up, Mama, <em>please</em>. I-I,” she choked on her sobs, “can’t lose you too. Come back,” she sobbed, gasping for air.</p><p class="p1">When she couldn’t look at Lou’s too still, too vulnerable body anymore, she let herself be wrapped up in Debbie’s tight embrace. “I-I can’t—Mom just—I n-need air.” She stumbled away only to be caught and pulled back by Debbie. “Let me go!” She struggled but Debbie’s hold stayed strong.</p><p class="p1">“I’m not stupid, Danni. I know that look, so I don’t feel comfortable letting you go off by yourself. I won’t let you hurt yourself,” Debbie told her firmly, only loosening her hold when she felt Danni collapse into her, defeated and exhausted. “If you want some space, you can go sit over there.” She pointed to the chairs on the far side of the room.</p><p class="p1">Danni tightened her hold around Debbie, burying her face in Debbie’s hair. “Just—Just a sec. My-My head,” she exhaled sharply, “it’s t-too—there’s too much—”</p><p class="p1">“—I know,” Debbie murmured. “Want something to do?”</p><p class="p1">Taking a deep, shuddering breath, Danni shrugged. “I don’t—I don’t know.”</p><p class="p1">“Okay,” Debbie accepted her answer, and, seeing the door crack open, pulled away and gently pushed Danni in the direction of the chairs. “Do you have your phone?” Danni shook her head mutely. Debbie pulled out her own phone and handed it to her. “Can you call the others for me, please?” Another nod.</p><p class="p1">Danni slowly made her way to the other side of the room, seeing a doctor enter and introduce herself to Debbie. As she numbly went through Debbie’s contacts, she kept on ear trained on Debbie’s conversation, catching bits and pieces of it. Bit like, “shattered,” “physical therapy,” “cracked,” “wake up,” “brain damage.”</p><p class="p1">When the doctor finally left, Danni crept back over to Debbie, staring down at Lou. “Is she going to be okay?”</p><p class="p1">“How much did you hear?”</p><p class="p1">Danni shrugged, leaning into Debbie when she held an arm out. “Not a lot.”</p><p class="p1">“They are…optimistic.” Debbie chose her words carefully. “Her knee's broken, so we’re going to have to come back for her physical therapy. Her ribs are cracked but not broken…so that’s good.”</p><p class="p1">“But is she going to wake up soon?” Danni asked quietly, almost too afraid to let hope into the question.</p><p class="p1">“They think so. She’s got to wake up so they can make sure there’s no…”</p><p class="p1">“Brain damage,” Danni finished for her.</p><p class="p1">“Yeah.” Debbie nodded slowly.</p><p class="p1">The two sat together in a silent vigil as the rest of the crew began to arrive. Debbie gave them each a quick run-down of the situation, but Danni stayed silent throughout, sitting in the corner of the room and watching Lou. Soon after, her head began to droop, and her eyes fluttered shut. At some point, she felt a jacket being placed carefully over her before everything went black.</p><p class="p1">She didn’t stay asleep for long, however, waking up periodically, eyes frantically darting around until she saw Lou, the machines monitoring her still beeping steadily. Only when Debbie would whisper quiet reassurances would Danni be able to return to her tumultuous sleep.</p>
<hr/><p class="p1">The next morning, Danni found herself shaken awake and Debbie calling for her to get up. Danni groaned but opened her eyes, rolling her neck in a bid to get rid of the stiffness from her uncomfortable sleeping position. She blinked a few times and rubbed her eyes to rid herself of the bleary film over her vision, scowling when she caught sight of the time.</p><p class="p1">“It’s too early,” she grumbled, pulling up the jacket she’d been using as a make-shift blanket and closing her eyes.</p><p class="p1">“Nope, c’mon, get up.” Debbie poked her in the shoulder, ignoring her whined protests. “You’re going to school.”</p><p class="p1">Danni nodded slowly, snuggling further into the uncomfortable, padded chair, before her eyes flew open again. “What?!”</p><p class="p1">“You’re going to school, so get up,” Debbie ordered, pulling Danni’s jacket off of her.</p><p class="p1">Danni grabbed the jacket, quickly losing the brief game of tug of war, and glared at Debbie, scowling. “No.”</p><p class="p1">“Yes,” Debbie asserted firmly, tossing Danni’s jacket onto the back of another chair. “Tammy’s taking you home so you can change and shower, and then you’re going to school.”</p><p class="p1">“Don’t want to,” Danni retorted grumpily.</p><p class="p1">“Don’t care, get up,” Debbie ordered again not unkindly. She offered Danni a hand, the teen reluctantly allowing herself to be pulled to her feet. She swayed and leaned heavily against Debbie, grabbing onto Debbie’s arm to steady herself.</p><p class="p1">Giving Danni a quick, one-armed hug, Debbie pulled away and gave Danni her jacket back. Danni took it and slowly pulled it on, the hood’s zipper catching on her tangled hair. Once it was on, the parka dwarfing her still slight stature, Danni gave Debbie a pleading look. “Please don’t make me go. What if—” she cut herself off, casting a glance at Lou’s still body. “I <em>can’t</em>.”</p><p class="p1">“Hey, look at me.” Debbie firmly drew Danni’s gaze to her own. “<em>Nothing</em> is going to happen, do you understand me? She will be okay.”</p><p class="p1">For a long moment, Danni stared at Lou, her right hand drifting toward her left only for her progress to be impeded by her cast. She ran a finger over the rough plaster and worried her lip, before turning to Debbie with a defeated sigh. “Fine.”</p><p class="p1">A little over an hour later, Danni was being dropped at school and mumbling a terse ‘thank you’ and ‘bye’ to Tammy as the woman pulled away. Hiking up her backpack, Danni navigated the throngs of high school students tiredly beginning their days and successfully made it to her first period class. Luckily for her, it was her favorite class and she just so happened to share it with her only friend.</p><p class="p1">The art studio had one wall almost entirely comprised of windows and a few bicycles set up on a table in the middle of the room that they’d been drawing for a couple of days already. Danni quickly made her way over to her preferred stool and dropped her bag on the floor beside it, unable to bring herself to care about the hard thunk that was almost certainly her laptop hitting the ground.</p><p class="p1">Pushing her sweatshirt’s sleeves up, Danni wandered over to the supplies and grabbed a few things, offering a curt greeting to her teacher as she grabbed her drawing from the stack. Like clockwork, Remy arrived a few seconds before the bell rang and occupied the empty seat beside her. Everyone had their own typical seating arrangements, usually with friend groups sticking together, so Danni never had to worry about really interacting with others.</p><p class="p1">“Hey,” he greeted quickly, receiving a small grunt of acknowledgement, as their teacher began giving the instructions for the day. When she finished, he poked Danni, who was seemingly absorbed in her drawing, in the arm. “You okay?”</p><p class="p1">“Fine,” she muttered without looking up from her paper. Accepting her answer, Remy went to get his own supplies and paper, giving their teacher a much more cheerful greeting alongside his trademark grin. When he returned, Danni finally looked up, fiddling with her pencil. “Lou’s in the hospital.”</p><p class="p1">“What?” Remy’s grin faded and his brow furrowed with concern. “Why?”</p><p class="p1">Turning to fully face her friend, Danni condensed and recounted the events of the past couple days, beginning with the phone call and ending with her unjust expulsion from Lou’s room. As she finished, their art teacher came up behind them.</p><p class="p1">“Get to work, you two,” she chided.</p><p class="p1">“Sorry, Mrs. Henry,” they replied in tandem, going through the appropriate motions of contrition and immediately turning their attention back to their papers. Their teacher was typically laidback, but she had condemned the class to absolute silence on more than one occasion when she thought their idle chitchat was a distraction.</p><p class="p1">Mrs. Henry nodded in satisfaction and hovered behind them for a few more moments, as teacher often do. “That’s excellent, Danni. I didn’t know you were ambidextrous.”</p><p class="p1">Danni stiffened slightly but replied easily enough to draw attention away from it. “Yeah, it’s just something I learned when I was younger.”</p><p class="p1">“Well, still, very impressive. My only note would be to keep a close eye on the proportions in the middle there,” her teacher replied warmly as she gestured to the aforementioned place. Danni grinned almost shyly at the praise. “Remy…” she looked between the two friends’ papers and gave him a look, “let’s keep our eyes on our own papers please.”</p><p class="p1">Danni snorted as Remy awkwardly cleared his throat and apologized again, their teacher nodding and wandering off to check up on her other students.</p><p class="p1">When their teacher was more or less out of earshot, Remy, glanced over at Danni’s paper, copying her movements, and asked, “do you want to go back?”</p><p class="p1">“Well, yeah, but—”</p><p class="p1">Remy cut her off, a mischievous look in his eye, “so what’s stopping you?”</p><p class="p1">“Well…” Danni trailed off. She turned to him, her eyes lighting up with an idea, a certain glint in her eye making Remy a bit uneasy, and grinned. “Nothing. Nothing at all.”</p><p class="p1">A few hours later, the two were on their way to the hospital, quickly grabbing some food from a small, empty cafe on the way. Remy went inside with Danni, their hands laden with hot drinks and baked goods, and left her outside the room with a quick ‘good luck.’ He technically only had permission to be off campus during the lunch period anyway, so he had to go back.</p><p class="p1">Hands full, Danni shouldered the door open to reveal all eight woman in the crew, though Lou was still unconscious in her bed. She was immediately swarmed, hands grabbing at the tray of drinks and the bag tucked underneath her arm. When her hands were empty, she grabbed Remy’s load from just outside the door and was swarmed once again.</p><p class="p1">“Danni.” Danni winced as Debbie called for her. Debbie pointed at the door, giving Danni a hard look. “Outside. Now.”</p><p class="p1">Once outside, Danni sheepishly offered Debbie the last drink. “Coffee?”</p><p class="p1">Debbie narrowed her eyes but accepted, taking a long sip. “Don’t think this gets you out of anything just ‘cause the coffee here is shit,” she warned. After a long silence that had Danni shifting awkwardly on her feet and looking anywhere but Debbie, Debbie asked, “what are you doing here?”</p><p class="p1">“Oh, you know, just bringing baked goods and coffee…” Danni faltered at Debbie’s stern look, her nonchalance falling away as she wrapped her arms around herself. “I just wanted to see Lou. I can’t stay at school.”</p><p class="p1">“Hey.” Debbie’s voice gentled, and she pulled Danni into her arms. “I know it’s…scary, but she’s going to be okay.”</p><p class="p1">“You don’t know that.” Came Danni’s pained reply as she returned the tight embrace.</p><p class="p1">“Maybe not,” Debbie conceded once again, “but we talked about this. The doctors think she’ll wake up soon, and they know what they’re talking about. Now, you need to go back to school. Eight people loitering around her bed’s not going to help her wake up any faster.”</p><p class="p1">Danni pulled away and nodded. “I know, but…I want to be here…just in case.”</p><p class="p1">“Nothing’s going to happen…but,” Debbie added quickly, seeing Danni open her mouth to argue, “if something does, I’ll call you, okay? Go back to school before you get expelled.”</p><p class="p1">“Right, sure,” Danni nodded, but there was something in her eyes, or maybe it was the slight quirk of her lips, that made Debbie cross her arms and eye her with suspicion. “But, um.” Danni pulled a neatly folded piece of paper from out of her back pocket. “My <em>mom</em> actually sent an email to the school saying that I had to leave during lunch due to a family emergency.”</p><p class="p1">Debbie took the paper from her, unfolded it, and cast her gaze to the ceiling in exasperation as if begging the heavens for patience when she caught sight of one of her many email addresses gracing the page. “Skye?”</p><p class="p1">“Nine actually,” Danni corrected, unable to keep the amusement from her voice. “Skye said no; she already thinks you don’t like her.”</p><p class="p1">“She thinks…You are so…” Debbie pinched the bridge of her nose. “God you’re an Ocean.” When Danni lit up, Debbie sighed and rolled her eyes, jerking her head at the door. “Go.”</p><p class="p1">Danni grinned and rushed inside, stealing Debbie’s seat at Lou’s bedside. Debbie didn’t try to take her seat back, knowing Danni well enough to simply count to thirty and watch as Danni grew bored and left to watch Amita’s failed attempts to learn card tricks. Triumphantly reclaiming her seat, Debbie took Lou’s hand in her own and settled back to wait.</p><p class="p1">Not much later, the rest of the crew began to trickle out. Daphne had a meeting, an emergency arose that Rose had to take care of, Nineball had her bar, Amita had to go to the shop, Tammy had to pick her kids up from school, and Constance…Constance had to go do whatever Constance did during the day.</p><p class="p1">With just Debbie and Danni remaining, Debbie grabbed a book from her bag and settled back in her original seat, distracted only by the occasional snort of laughter coming from the corner of the room. “If you’re going to pretend to be doing your homework, you probably shouldn’t be staring at your phone and laughing.” She didn’t look up from her book.</p><p class="p1">“Was I pretending to do my homework?” Danni asked, unbothered, also not looking up.</p><p class="p1">“Do your homework.”</p><p class="p1">Very pointedly dropping her phone into her backpack, Danni rolled her eyes and grabbed her history textbook and notebook, before sprawling out on the floor to have some more elbow room. All was well for the next half an hour until Danni reached a primary source and began reading aloud.</p><p class="p1">Debbie tolerated it for a few minutes before slamming her book shut and turning to her daughter. “Danni, I’m reading.” She struggled to keep the annoyance from her tone.</p><p class="p1">“Oh, yeah, me too,” Danni remarked drily, though she too turned and kept a careful eye on Debbie, unable to keep from tensing.</p><p class="p1">“Can you do it in your head, please?” Debbie asked tersely.</p><p class="p1">“Nope. I can never process primary sources without reading aloud; they’re too dense. Besides…I think she’d like it,” Danni added softly with a glance at the bed.</p><p class="p1">“You think she’d want to hear about the Russian Revolution?”</p><p class="p1">Danni huffed out a laugh, but when she smiled, she couldn’t quite force it to her eyes. “I don’t think she’d want it to be quiet. She’s not dead after all.”</p><p class="p1">Debbie nodded, seemingly ignoring the failed attempt at levity, and said nothing. Danni skipped the rest of the primary source and went silent as well, the faint sounds of a pencil scratching against paper and of pages turning filling the void.</p><p class="p1">Finally, after too long, Debbie put down her book and went to sit cross-legged beside Danni. “Sorry.”</p><p class="p1">“For what?” Danni lifted her gaze from her reading and gave Debbie a questioning look.</p><p class="p1">“I…might be slightly more stressed than I let on,” Debbie admitted begrudgingly, “and I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. So…I’m sorry.”</p><p class="p1">Danni shrugged and offered her a quick smile. “It’s okay.” Debbie tried to say that it was not, in fact, okay, but Danni quickly continued, cutting her off. “I had my breakdown; it’s only fair you get yours.”</p><p class="p1">She stood and offered Debbie a hand, pulling her into a hug once they were both standing. When she stepped back, she gestured at the door awkwardly. “So…I’m just going to go…get a snack. I’ll be back.”</p><p class="p1">Ignoring the bag of mediocre pastry she and Remy had brought, Danni grabbed her wallet from out of her bag and stepped into the hall. She slowly wandered over to the vending machine, taking her time making her selection. Munching on her newly acquired cheez-its, Danni ambled back to Lou’s room and sat cross-legged on the floor just outside the door.</p><p class="p1">After Danni left the room, Debbie sat back down beside Lou’s bed and grabbed her wife’s hand between two of her own. “Wake up.” When Lou didn’t so much as stir, something in Debbie snapped, hidden away from prying eyes as she was (even when those eyes belonged to the people closest to her). “Goddammit, wake up! <em>Please</em>. You need to wake up. Danni needs you; she can’t lose any more people. I won’t let her. Just wake up and be okay…<em>I</em> need you. I can’t do this without you.”</p><p class="p1">Tears rolled down her cheeks, melting silently into the stiff sheet that covered Lou. Debbie brought Lou’s hand up and kissed it gently, holding it against her face as she quietly cried, her shoulders shaking with every breath.</p><p class="p1">“Just wake up.” As her sobs died down and her breathing steadied, Debbie gave one, final demand before falling silent. When Danni ventured back into the room, Debbie was still at Lou’s bedside, not touching her, simply watching the slow rise and fall of her partner’s chest.</p>
<hr/><p class="p1">Later that afternoon, they received another visitor. Remy knocked on the door, smiling shyly at Debbie when she beckoned him in. He brought a small bouquet of flowers to ‘spruce up the place’ he said and set them on the room’s small, round table.</p><p class="p1">Seeing his friend curled up on an uncomfortable hospital chair with her laptop on her lap, eyes closed and headphones on, seemingly taking an impromptu nap, Remy grinned and unceremoniously dropped into the seat next to her. Danni opened one eye lazily, grinning back at him and taking off her headphones as she closed a few tabs and shut her computer.</p><p class="p1">“Hey.”</p><p class="p1">“What are you doing here?” Danni put her computer back in her bag and rested her chin on her knees.</p><p class="p1">Remy shrugged, “just wanted to see how everything was going.” He glanced at Lou in her bed. Following his gaze, Danni nodded slowly, drumming her fingers on the chair’s wooden armrest. He exhaled sharply, “want to take a walk?”</p><p class="p1">“Oh, uh,” Danni glanced uneasily at Lou, her fingers drumming faster, “I don’t know, I think I should just stay here.”</p><p class="p1">“Oh, come on,” Remy gave her a pleading look before turning to Debbie where she sat beside her wife’s bed, “can I borrow Danni for a bit?”</p><p class="p1">“Please do,” Debbie smirked and gave Danni a look, “it’s fine,” her voice gentled, “she’s going to be fine.”</p><p class="p1">“But what if—” Danni tried to protest.</p><p class="p1">“—just keep your phone with you, I’ll call you,” Debbie cut her off, waving her phone in the air.</p><p class="p1">Danni huffed, “fine,” and grabbed her jacket before following Remy out. They navigated the hospital’s identical, blank corridors, wandering outside and to a nearby park. Walking in silence, it took a few minutes for Remy to finally speak.</p><p class="p1">“You know, I was young when my mom died, but I still remember that horrible hospital room with its white walls and smell of cleaning alcohol. No one told me, but I think, even then, I knew she was dying because when I would see her, she was just this…shadow of the person I knew her as before. She was weak and-and frail, and she would just lie there…she was too still,” his voice stayed steady; it was something he had long since come to terms with. Unsure of what to do, Danni watched him with wide eyes.</p><p class="p1">Remy took a short breath and continued, “when she died, I was very…afraid because I did not know how we could possibly live a life without her. But I was also so angry and I lashed out at everything. I just wanted to make them hurt the way I did.”</p><p class="p1">“You don’t have to explain that to me,” Danni said bitterly, shoving her un-casted hand in her pocket and glaring at the ground.</p><p class="p1">“I know, I’ve seen it, and it’s okay. Come on, we wouldn’t be human if we didn’t feel anything at all.” He gave her a playful shove.</p><p class="p1">“Well then maybe it’d be nice to be a frog,” Danni remarked snippily.</p><p class="p1">Remy groaned and rolled his eyes. “No, it would not. They are covered in slime.” He faked a gag.</p><p class="p1">“It’s actually mucus,” Danni corrected. At Remy’s blank look, she frowned. “Princess and the Frog? You’ve never seen it?”</p><p class="p1">“When have <em>you</em> seen it?”</p><p class="p1">“Couple weeks ago with Lou. Debbie was on some trip,” Danni replied before her eyes narrowed. “No, no, no. You’re not going to trick me into talking about my…” she faked a shudder, “<em>feelings</em>. I already have a therapist.”</p><p class="p1">“Fine.” Remy held his hands up in surrender. “It’s just…I can see you’re mad, and I know how…horrible it is. How it…” He groaned and switched to French, muttering something unpleasant about the English language under his breath. “<em>How it tries to eat you alive until it’s the only thing left, and you want to hurt everyone you care about.</em>”</p><p class="p1">“I’m fine,” Danni muttered. Of course, she wasn't, she wanted to rage and scream at the unfairness of it all, but she couldn't. It was trapped in her chest, bubbling and boiling, unable to break free. So she let it be, hoping that it might, perhaps, boil itself away, though she knew it never did. </p><p class="p1">“Fine.” Remy shrugged, shoving his hands into his pockets. She’d always admired his ability to drop a topic. For the rest of their walk, they chatted easily, keeping the topic in a more neutral zone. When they returned to the hospital, Remy left her at the door. “I’ve got to go, I have practice in,” he checked his phone and blanched, “five minutes ago. Call me.”</p><p class="p1">He grinned his best roguish grin, the one that made all the girls and even the guys, Danni supposed, swoon. It was also the one that, on occasion, made her want to punch him right in the nose and he knew it. With a roll of her eyes, Danni shoved him playfully and made her way back up to Lou’s room.</p><p class="p1">When she saw Debbie standing outside the door, her pace quickened and her heart fluttered with worry. “Why are you out here? Did something happen?”</p><p class="p1">“I am allowed to stand up and stretch my legs, you know,” Debbie rolled her eyes. “C’mon, let’s go back in.”</p><p class="p1">Danni pushed open the door and stopped in her tracks, tears welling up in her eyes, the eyes that were staring into blue. In one smooth motion, she had launched herself at Lou, wrapping her arms around the other woman. And for the first time in as long as she could remember, Danni felt the rage in her chest calm itself and seep away.</p><p class="p1">“You’re okay, you’re okay,” she whispered, the words more for herself than Lou, tightening her grip and crawling up to lie next to her.</p><p class="p1">“Yeah, love, I’m—ow,” Lou winced as a stray limb caught her in the midsection but kept her grip on her daughter tight, “I’m alright.”</p><p class="p1">Over Danni’s shoulder, she could see Debbie making her way over to them, a soft grin meant just for them adorning her face. Debbie sat back down in her seat, grabbing Lou’s hand. “Hey.”</p><p class="p1">“Hey,” Lou murmured back.</p><p class="p1">“I was really worried, you know.” Debbie couldn’t hold back the tears springing to her eyes. She sniffed. “This is why I told you to get rid of that stupid bike.”</p><p class="p1">“Worried, huh?” Lou teased gently, “is that why I woke up alone?”</p><p class="p1">Almost immediately, she was met with a pair of serious, dark eyes as Danni pulled away to look her in the eye, “we really didn’t mean to, we didn’t want you to be alone.”</p><p class="p1">“I know, love,” the blonde said sincerely, smiling when their daughter nodded and snuggled back into her contently.</p><p class="p1">“Since you’re awake, you wanna show Danni what you almost died for?” Debbie remarked, unable to keep her voice entirely level at the idea of losing Lou, even in a joke.</p><p class="p1">“Good a time as any,” Lou held her arm out, wincing as her ribs were jostled. Pulling the previously crumpled envelope out of her coat pocket, Debbie gently placed it in her wife’s hand.</p><p class="p1">“You almost died for that?” Danni asked, peering at it.</p><p class="p1">“Well, it’s very special,” ripping open the top, Lou pulled out a paper, “it’s a gift…from your parents.”</p><p class="p1">“I don’t want anything from them,” the teen scowled.</p><p class="p1">“Well,” Debbie hummed and gave Lou a secret grin, “I think you’re going to want this.”</p><p class="p1">Carefully unfolding the paper and smoothing out the creases, Lou directed Danni to look at the bottom.</p><p class="p1">“Their signatures?” Danni asked, fingers lightly brushing her father’s illegible, scrawled one and her mother’s neat, pristine one, “did they…” She trailed off, unable to put what she hoped to words for fear it would be wrong.</p><p class="p1">“Yeah.”</p><p class="p1">Debbie continued for her, “as of now, your parents have given up all their parental rights. You know what that means?”</p><p class="p1">“You can adopt me?” Danni asked with such quiet hope that Lou’s heart broke, and for the first time in god knows how long, she felt her own tears prickling in the backs of her eyes.</p><p class="p1">“Can and will, baby,” Debbie said, brushing a stray hair from the girl’s face, as Lou sniffed and pressed a kiss to the top of the girl’s head.</p><p class="p1">“Are-Are you crying?” Danni looked to Lou in disbelief.</p><p class="p1">“Maybe,” Lou replied gruffly.</p><p class="p1">“But… but you’re Lou. You don’t cry. Why are you crying?!” She asked, her voice near panicked.</p><p class="p1">Debbie chuckled and gently smoothed Danni’s hair down, “she’s okay.”</p><p class="p1">“I’m alright,” Lou smiled, “better than. We’re going to be your mums.”</p><p class="p1">“You’re already my moms, Mama,” she curled up with her head on Lou’s shoulder, staring at the paper Lou still held. Lightly tracing the signatures again, Danni couldn’t help the frown tugging at her lips.</p><p class="p1">“What’s wrong?”</p><p class="p1">Danni shook her head and smiled weakly. “Nothing.”</p><p class="p1">“Don’t lie,” Lou chided her with a knowing look.</p><p class="p1">“I’m not,” Danni protested indignantly. Neither Debbie nor Lou spoke, and after a long moment, Danni sighed in exasperation. “Fine! I guess it’s just—it still feels a little bit like I’m stealing it. It wasn’t supposed to be me.”</p><p class="p1">“Maybe not, but we’re glad it was,” Lou told her, her tone brooking no argument. Danni ignored it.</p><p class="p1">“But—”</p><p class="p1">“—But nothing,” Debbie cut in. “It doesn’t matter that you’re not my biological daughter. You’re our daughter, and we love you. And…yeah, I’ll grieve for Elle, I think we both will,” she glanced at her wife, “because we never got to know her, but that doesn’t change that you’re our daughter.”</p><p class="p1">“You would have loved her,” Danni murmured.</p><p class="p1">“Yeah?”</p><p class="p1">“Yeah.” Danni nodded before her face crumpled, tears escaping down her cheeks. “I miss her so, <em>so</em> much. She wasn’t perfect, but no one really is. She never really got it though, you know? She’d never been anything but loved and wanted, so it hurt her to know you’d given her up.” Danni huffed out a bitter laugh. “I think she would’ve hurt you a lot more than I did.”</p><p class="p1">“And you think we would’ve loved her?” Debbie asked, no hint of malice in her voice, just curiosity.</p><p class="p1">“Yeah,” Danni mused to herself. “I really think you would’ve.”</p><p class="p1">She fell silent and laid back against Lou, resting her head in the crook of her mom’s neck. The three stayed like that as long as they were able, silently thinking about the girl whose death had given them their family. They would mourn, but they would also be thankful for the daughter they did have. And because they could not solely mourn, they knew that the memory of Elle, though they had never known her, would always be bittersweet. </p><p class="p1">There was an Elle-shaped hole in Danni’s heart, Debbie and Lou knew, one they could never hope to fill, but they were the reason it was slowly healing, slowly piecing itself together. And for as much pain they all hid deep within themselves, together they had hope that, finally, everything would be alright.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>let me know what you thought! :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0027"><h2>27. Teaser Chapter for Rewrite</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I really want to thank everyone who has kudosed, bookmarked, commented, or even just read this work. I think I already said this, but this was the first story I've ever actually written on paper, and everyone's support really helped me when I wanted to give it up. You guys really helped motivate me through dry spots, and I'm really impressed more people didn't ditch me in my month long hiatuses (sorry again). Anywhoosies, this has been a wild ride, and while I am rewriting this entire thing, it's not my priority, so don't expect it for a good long bit. thank you all so much!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">Debbie sank down onto the edge of her bed with a sharp exhalation, a tumbler of whiskey in one hand, the other holding her head up, heavy with memories she’d rather forget. She downed the amber liquid with only the slightest grimace as the liquid burned a fiery trail down her throat.</p><p class="p1">She sighed, massaging her forehead with tired fingers. Every. Single. Fucking. Year. She did it every single fucking year, and yet, somehow it always got worse. Bringing the glass back up to her lips, she groaned at the evident emptiness, a few drops lurking at the bottom. She got up and grabbed the bottle from her liquor cabinet, growling as her fingers trembled, fumbling to open the glass bottle. When she finally wrestled the stopper out fo the bottle, she took a swig from the bottle ignoring the glass in her hand.</p><p class="p1">It should’ve gotten easier, she knew. It should’ve gotten easier to believe the lies she fed herself for the other three hundred and sixty-four days in the year, but it just didn’t. Sure, she could make herself forget for those three hundred and sixty-four days, could throw herself into her work, watching others suffer when she took what mattered most to them, just as she had done to herself, even if she hadn’t known it at the time, but it never really helped.</p><p class="p1">It was in her blood to hurt and ruin others. No one was safe from an Ocean, not even those they proclaimed to love the most. And every year, once a year, the pain she turned on others reared its ugly head and bit back. And she let it, she crumbled. Because every other day of the year, it let itself be weaponized, the cruelest of all attacks.</p><p class="p1">Eyeing the glass in her hand, Debbie hurled it at the wall, the corners of her lips quirking into a rueful smile as the glass shattered and fell. She reveled in the sweet cacophony of destruction as the pieces fought each other as they collapsed to the ground. The room was too quiet when they settled.</p><p class="p1">But before she could breathe, the suffocating silence pressing insistently against her chest, the door opened, and the shadow she knew had been waiting just outside flicked on the lights and leaned against the doorframe, their arms crossed.</p><p class="p1">“Hey,” Lou raised an eyebrow, surveying the mess Debbie had made, her tone carefully neutral.</p><p class="p1">Debbie huffed out a derisive laugh, keeping her back to her partner in crime. “Hey,” she echoed back flatly.</p><p class="p1">“I liked that glass.” Lou stepped in the room, ever present swagger in her step, her hands plunged into her pockets.</p><p class="p1">“I’ll get you a new one,” Debbie replied dismissively, crouching down by the broken glass and grabbing a few pieces, rolling them over in her hand.</p><p class="p1">“Don’t do that,” Lou bit out, exasperation belying but a fraction of what she felt.</p><p class="p1">“Do what?”</p><p class="p1">“That.” Lou stared at the other woman’s back, not sparing the glass another glance.</p><p class="p1">“What, scared I’m gonna hurt myself?” Debbie asked mockingly, finally turning to Lou as she stood.</p><p class="p1">“Don’t.” Lou stopped her sharply, and Debbie’s well-worn facade slipped for a moment. She dropped the glass, needlessly wiping a hand on her pants.</p><p class="p1">“What do you want, Lou?”</p><p class="p1">“You’re drunk.” Lou’s eyes roved Debbie’s body, taking in her still impeccable clothing, her eyes, dark and belligerent, the only thing belying the storm beneath her skin.</p><p class="p1">“Unfortunately not.” Debbie’s lips quirked up wryly, and she lifted the bottle in a mocking toast before taking a long drink.</p><p class="p1">“Why do you do this?” Lou wondered aloud, barely reining in her annoyance.</p><p class="p1">Debbie narrowed her eyes and silently stared at Lou, the other woman, even with over two decades of experience in ‘figuring Debbie out’, unable to puzzle out the myriad of expressions passing over Debbie’s stony face. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity to both, she shrugged carelessly. “Why does anyone drink?”</p><p class="p1">Lou blew out a breath, her cool exterior finally thawed by the boiling beginning in her blood. “<em>Jesus. </em>For once in your life, can you just answer the question?”</p><p class="p1">When Debbie didn’t answer, staring steadily at her, Lou sighed again and shook her head unbelievingly. She turned and made her way back to the door, when, with her hand on the knob, something made her pause.</p><p class="p1">“Wait.” Debbie didn’t yell, she hardly raised her voice, but Lou heard her loud and clear. And she sounded exhausted, defeated. Lou turned, her arms crossed across her chest protectively, giving Debbie an expectant look. Debbie was frozen mid-step, leaning forward, her empty hand having begun to reach out for Lou, lurched to a halt. “Wait.” She repeated again, clenching her hand into a fist and bringing it back down to her side.</p><p class="p1">So Lou did. She waited, the silence closing in on them, daring one of them to begin.</p><p class="p1">After another long moment, Debbie put the bottle down, the glass meeting wood with a decisive thud. “I made my choice,” she hesitated again, mulling the words over in her mouth before continuing slowly. “I have no <em>right</em> to feel this.”</p><p class="p1">“Feel what? Regret? Guilt?” Lou challenged, pausing a moment when understanding dawned on her. “Grief?”</p><p class="p1">“Yeah,” Debbie answered quietly, a thread of steel lining her reply.</p><p class="p1">“Bullshit.” Lou scoffed. “You’re allowed to grieve.”</p><p class="p1">“It was my choice!” Debbie snapped, taking an involuntary step toward Lou.</p><p class="p1">“Yeah, I know. But just ‘cause you made that choice doesn’t mean you can’t grieve.” Lou replied sharply, trying to get through to her stubborn partner.</p><p class="p1">Debbie sighed and shook her head. “Sure. You know where the door is.”</p><p class="p1">Lou rolled her eyes and made her way back over to the door. “Fine. I’m making food if you want to pull yourself together soon.”</p><p class="p1">The remark had the intended effect. Debbie’s eyes blazed, before she bit back what Lou was sure had been a scathing retort. Lou pulled the door closed behind her, and Debbie was alone again.</p><p class="p1">With a small groan, Debbie sank down on the bed again, her head in her hands, but no tears fell. She sat like that for a few minutes, letting her mind wander to the what ifs. Shaking herself from her idle imagining, she rose quickly and cleared the glass from the floor, dumping it into the bathroom trashcan.</p><p class="p1">Staring at herself in the mirror, Debbie gripped the sides of the sink tightly, her nails drumming a steady pattern against the white porcelain as she examined her features: the darkening circles under her eyes, the tired, almost haggard look in her eyes. With a sharp exhale, she splashed some water on herself, beginning to feel the alcohol really hit her system, replacing the pain with a gentle buzz.</p><p class="p1">She tried to work, sitting down at the small desk in the corner of her room. She had once done her best work sitting at that desk, but with the alcohol in her system and her mind wandering, she couldn’t focus. So instead she sat there, mind as blank as the paper before her. Finally, when the enticing aromas of whatever Lou was cooking began to penetrate Debbie’s bubble, she threw her pen down and went to investigate.</p><p class="p1">The kitchen was one of Debbie’s favorite parts of the loft. It was almost entirely blocked off from the rest of the ground floor, resulting in the accumulation of warmth and the smell of delicious food. It hadn’t been before Claude and then Debbie’s subsequent incarceration, but then again, Lou had more or less banned her from it after Debbie had attempted to help cook breakfast one morning.</p><p class="p1">But since her parole, she spent a significant portion of her time in the kitchen, granted that Lou was also there, preferably cooking something. Debbie often sat on the rectangular, wooden table in the middle of the room, talking to Lou, who, somehow, seemed to realize that Debbie needed it. She needed Lou’s low, assured voice, the background noise of pots and pans scraping on the stovetop. Because as unaffected as she pretended to be, Debbie was starved for human contact, seeking it out as she had never before.</p><p class="p1">“Hey.” Debbie didn’t enter the kitchen, staying just one step outside the entrance as she offered a truce the only way she truly knew how.</p><p class="p1">“Hey.” Lou didn’t turn, grabbing a plate from the cabinet and filling it with the cheesy, marinara doused pasta she knew Debbie loved. Finally turning around, she extended her olive branch.</p><p class="p1">With a small smile, Debbie accepted the plate and sat at the table across from where Lou’s place was already set. They ate in relative silence, the void of sound filled by forks scraping across plates and the occasional casual attempt at conversation.</p><p class="p1">“How would you feel about another job?” Debbie asked, taking another bite of her pasta.</p><p class="p1">“Now?” Lou answered with a question of her own, eyebrow rising of its own volition.</p><p class="p1">“What, no, I’m not stupid.” She ignored Lou’s eye roll. “Soon though.”</p><p class="p1">“<em>How</em> soon?” Lou probed, having no wish to see the inside of a jail cell anytime in the near future.</p><p class="p1">Debbie shrugged, a tiny smile playing at her lips upon hearing Lou’s groan of exasperation. “Don’t know yet.”</p><p class="p1">“You know what we’d be stealing?”</p><p class="p1">“No, not yet,” Debbie mused.</p><p class="p1">“Was there a point to this conversation?” Lou drawled, examining her nails with disinterest.</p><p class="p1">“Just wanted to make sure I got your answer right,” Debbie answered with a shrug.</p><p class="p1">“Yeah? What do you think I’m going to say?”</p><p class="p1">Debbie gave her an unimpressed look. “Yes,” she said, quirking a brow up as if daring Lou to disagree. “You always say yes.”</p><p class="p1">Thankfully for Lou, she was saved from having to answer by a quiet knock on the door. She got up, giving Debbie a look as she tossed her napkin on the table, and strode to the door. She pulled it open, surprised when their interrupter wasn’t anything like what she’d been expecting.</p><p class="p1">A girl stood right outside the door, dressed in black jeans and a grey t-shirt, a silver necklace hanging around her neck and tucked underneath her shirt. She was carrying a black duffel bag in one hand and had a matching backpack slung over one shoulder. The only bright splash of color came from her wavy, shoulder-length hair, dyed a brilliant turquoise.</p><p class="p1">Her face seemed to have the potential for sharp angles, though they were still softened by youth, just as were her guileless, almost black eyes. And when she smiled tentatively up at Lou and a single dimple indented her cheek, just under the light smattering of freckles across the tops of her cheeks and button nose, her eyes stayed cold. There was something off about her, but Lou brushed it off, she was just a kid. Well, somewhere around her mid teens, Lou presumed, though she still had the narrow, stick-like stature of a child.</p><p class="p1">The girl shifted awkwardly on her feet, no doubt having noticed Lou’s silent observations. She eyed Lou for a moment before plastering on her most charismatic smile, revealing expensive, white teeth.</p><p class="p1">“Hi, is Deborah Ocean here? I need to talk to her…please,” the girl said, maintaining her perfectly honed smile, a fact that Lou did not miss. The teen may have been good at affecting confidence, but she wasn’t used to acting in front of an experienced con, one who noticed exactly how the smile didn’t reach her eyes.</p><p class="p1">“Debbie, and yeah. Wait here,” Lou ordered, giving the girl one last curious look before going to get her partner. Intrigued by the prospect of a complete stranger wanting to speak with her, and perhaps not being appropriately cautious (though what could a child do to her), Debbie quickly followed Lou back to the door.</p><p class="p1">When they opened the door again, the girl was standing there, idly picking at her nails with a bored expression on her face. The moment she saw them, however, the smile returned. “Debbie Ocean?”</p><p class="p1">“Yeah. Who are you?” Debbie asked, realization setting in almost a moment too late.</p><p class="p1">“I’m Danni, two ’n’s and an ‘i’. I’m your daughter,” the teen replied easily, almost too easily Lou noted with narrowed eyes.</p><p class="p1">Debbie’s vision tunneled until the girl—her daughter’s face was all she could see as she searched for all signs of resemblance. She took an almost instinctive step forward, barely catching Danni’s subtle lean away.</p><p class="p1">“Right, well.” Lou glanced at Debbie, the other woman in an almost trance. “Danni, was it? Why don’t you come in?”</p><p class="p1">She held the door open wider, and Danni smiled brightly, stepping around Debbie. Debbie, shaking herself, flung a hand to the side and blocked the doorway, ignoring the solid warmth beneath her hand. Lou, to her credit, merely looked down at the hand on her stomach and raised an eyebrow at her partner, who ignored her in favor of the teen.</p><p class="p1">“Look—”</p><p class="p1">“—Danni,” the girl prompted.</p><p class="p1">“<em>kid</em>,” Debbie stressed. “I don’t have a daughter. You got the wrong person.”</p><p class="p1">She backed up and started to close the door, Danni lunging toward it with a desperate cry upon her lips. It was the first real emotion they had seen on her face. </p><p class="p1">“Wait! Please. I-I’ll do a DNA test or something, <em>please,</em>” Danni begged, her hand on the door.</p><p class="p1">Debbie let out a short sigh and gazed at the teen for a moment, deliberating, before shaking her head. “No. Good night.”</p><p class="p1">Lou, who had been watching the goings on curiously, frowned and folded her arms across her chested as she rounded on Debbie. “What the hell? You’re not even gonna hear her out?”</p><p class="p1">“Nope,” Debbie replied, shoving her hands in her pockets and strolling back to the kitchen, Lou hot on her heels.</p><p class="p1">“She’s a kid, where’s she gonna go?” Lou questioned, poking at Debbie’s fragile defense of indifference.</p><p class="p1">“Well, she came from somewhere, she can go back there.” Debbie shrugged. “Not my problem.”</p><p class="p1">“<em>Yes</em> your problem.”</p><p class="p1">“She’s not my kid!” Debbie countered, hackles raising.</p><p class="p1">“You don’t know that,” Lou challenged, leaning against the counter, her arms still firmly affixed across her chest.</p><p class="p1">“Jesus, you make it sound like I’m sleeping around, getting women pregnant.” Debbie rolled her eyes in exasperation, stabbing at her dinner with her fork. When Lou didn’t respond, Debbie huffed and put down her fork, turning to face her partner. “Look, my ki—well, <em>Danielle</em> doesn’t know I exist. I don’t even know if that’s still her name.”</p><p class="p1">“Right, because an Ocean, your <em>daughter</em>, wouldn’t find out if she was adopted or not,” Lou commented drily.</p><p class="p1">“She’s not an Ocean, she’s a,” Debbie hesitated, pretending to try and remember her daughter’s name (Lou wasn’t fooled), “Reynolds.”</p><p class="p1">“Well if you know that, why don’t you just go ask her,” Lou pointed at the door, “what her full name is.” When Debbie made no move to get up, Lou raised an eyebrow. “Fine, I’ll do it.”</p><p class="p1">“Don’t!” Debbie rose halfway from her chair, arm mostly extended toward Lou. After over two decades, Lou could, for the most part, read her partner like a book, and the expression on Debbie’s face was one she hadn’t seen in a very long time. Fear. Pure, unadulterated fear.</p><p class="p1">“Why?”</p><p class="p1">“I’m not her mom.” Debbie continued with her stubborn insistence.</p><p class="p1">“You don’t see it, the eyes, the chin?”</p><p class="p1">“Okay, first of all, the majority of the people in the world have brown eyes. Second—Second,” Debbie continued, seeing Lou open her mouth to interrupt, “don’t you know there are more important things than blood?”</p><p class="p1">“Really wanna go there?” Lou asked, daring her to agree.</p><p class="p1">For a moment, Lou thought Debbie was going to argue with her, was going to push aside logic in favor of sheer stubbornness, but then, Debbie gave a small nod and had the decency to look ashamed. “Sorry.”</p><p class="p1">“Give her a chance, Deb. Let her stay the night and explain herself. If she’s full of shit, we’ll kick her out in the morning, kay?”</p><p class="p1">“Fine,” Debbie grumbled. “But when she’s a liar and a scam, we’ll come back to this conversation.”</p><p class="p1">Lou rolled her eyes and scoffed. “Who’s gonna try to scam <em>us</em>?” Debbie shrugged. “And c’mon, if she’s an Ocean, it’d make a lot more sense if she was a liar and a scam.”</p><p class="p1">Debbie shook her head in equal parts amusement and exasperation, pushing past Lou to open the door. Danni was sitting off to the side with her back to the wall, propping herself up with her duffel, her backpack at her side.</p><p class="p1">She was speaking to someone on the phone, her voice sounding different. Debbie couldn’t exactly pinpoint how from her thirty seconds of exposure with the teen, but it was different somehow. When Danni heard the door open, however, she ended the call with a quiet murmur and turned to Debbie with a hopeful smile.</p><p class="p1">“Who was that?” Debbie asked, leaning against the doorframe, her arms crossed over her chest in a familiar pose.</p><p class="p1">“Who? Oh, on the phone? Just a friend.” Danni shrugged, meeting Debbie’s scrutinizing gaze easily. “So…did you come out here to ask me who was on the phone or…?”</p><p class="p1">With another long look, Debbie stood aside, watching the teen’s reaction closely, but finding nothing more than a bright smile that still failed to reach her eyes. “Really? Thank you!”</p><p class="p1">“Don’t get too excited, kid. This is only temporary,” Debbie told her matter-of-factly, noting the relative lack of reaction her words got.</p><p class="p1">“Okay,” Danni shrugged, hiking her backpack up as she stepped into the loft, gazing around with appreciation. “Nice place.”</p><p class="p1">“It’s a bitch to heat,” Lou drawled, sauntering over to them, a bottle in hand. If the profanity bothered Danni, she didn’t show it, offering up the bare minimum of faint amusement.</p><p class="p1">“What, none for me?” Debbie asked Lou, looking pointedly at Lou’s single beer before giving her partner a mock pout.</p><p class="p1">“Yeah, you’ve had enough.” Lou took a swig of her beer, all the while staring Debbie down.</p><p class="p1">“Please,” Debbie scoffed, “that was nothing, don’t even feel it. Besides, you can’t cut me off.”</p><p class="p1">“Sure.” Lou remarked drily before ignoring Debbie completely. “So, Danni, right?”</p><p class="p1">“Yup, two ’n’s and an ‘i’.”</p><p class="p1">“Where you from?” Lou asked, moving toward the sitting area and gesturing for Danni to follow.</p><p class="p1">“Michigan. Boring, right?” Danni gave them a small grin, taking a seat on the couch and putting her bags at her feet. Debbie and Lou couldn’t help but scrutinize the way the teen sat, her body looking almost relaxed but humming with anticipatory tension. The experienced cons, on the other hand, were lounging in their seats, completely at ease. She posed no threat to them nor they to her, so her apprehension was interesting, to say the least.</p><p class="p1">“Which part?” Debbie asked, silently cataloguing each answer, each pause. In her experience, the tamest of questions could give you everything you needed in an interrogation as long as you knew what to look for.</p><p class="p1">“The bottom part?” Danni answered, apparently catching on to some aspect of the interrogation. At the dead silence that followed, she huffed and raised her eyebrows. “Troy. Very white suburb. Happy?”</p><p class="p1">“Why are you here? What do you want?” Lou asked, crossing one leg over the other as she leaned back in her seat.</p><p class="p1">“My god, what is this, customs? I <em>told</em> you, I’m here to meet Debbie. Wouldn’t you want to meet your biological mom if you never got to?” Danni asked in response, her snark barely maintaining her fragile facade of ease.</p><p class="p1">“No,” Lou replied honestly, looking Danni dead in the eye. Neither woman missed how Danni held Lou’s gaze for a moment longer than she should have before hurriedly forcing her gaze to the floor. But it didn’t matter how she hid, the cracks were emerging, and soon the mask would shatter.</p><p class="p1">“So, is this what we’re going to do? You’re going to ask me questions, and I get to stay?” Danni threw off the tense silence that had descended upon them, still looking wildly uncomfortable.</p><p class="p1">“Pretty much,” Debbie answered. Lou was still staring pensively at Danni, trying to piece the puzzle together.</p><p class="p1">“What do you want to know?” Danni asked, her composure returning.</p><p class="p1">Without even a glance at their partner, both Debbie and Lou answered without hesitation.</p><p class="p1">“Everything.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>let me know what you thought! Were Debbie and Lou more in character? (that's really what I'm trying to work on)</p><p>Also for anyone who cares - I plan for the rewrite to have more plot (so possibly a fun heist), a better betrayal, more of the rest of the crew, and Debbie and Lou won't be together at the start</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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